Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

@Bluebelltulip I'm sorry you lost your grandmother, it's never easy even if they are no longer suffering, I've lost all my grandparents now and only for one of them did I feel any relief (my Nan had Alzheimer's and was in a home for 8 years with no quality of life) and I was still sad to lose her.
@TwittleBee welcome, I'm still early days too, this group is amazing for support even on non pregnancy stuff!
@Twitwooo I hope you can avoid the lurgy, I was just reminded by the nurse that our immunity is lower being pg, so look after yourself
@SunshineCrocodile it doesn't feel that it's going that fast but funnily enough going from rugby weekend to rugby weekend is speeding things up. I'll be 12 weeks by the final (fingers crossed little one is healthy)
@InDreamland sadly wasn't my idea, she was supposed to come back in April and then I miscarries a week before she was due so stupidly had that in my head too. I'm lucky she is lovely and fairly independent, just hard working full time, 2 dogs, teenage son and her in the house, it disturbed our routine a bit. Luckily I was blaming not feeling 100% and earache for being sleepy, now I know it wasn't a lie! Sorry your appointment has been moved, must be hard when you are set on something happening on a specific date. Can you see another midwife on Wednesday?
@janey15 was that just the combined screening at 12 weeks? By my age (38) I think I will be under 1 in 300 to begin with, so I'm getting the harmony test on Wednesday to get a more accurate result. Your score means a less than 0.2% chance of a problem. Is that score low risk? I thought it was.

@janey15. Here you are risk by age. So your risk factor is lower than the average 34 year old. 👍www.qmul.ac.uk/wolfson/services/antenatal-screening/screening-tests/calculating-the-risk-of-downs-syndrome/

www.qmul.ac.uk/wolfson/services/antenatal-screening/screening-tests/calculating-the-risk-of-downs-syndrome/

@rubyroot sorry, training for teaching a child with Down’s syndrome.
NT was 1.6mm

@Kayjay2018 yes combined screening.

Aaaah I see. NT is perfect then. That's what mine was with my current toddler. Risk came back 1 in 5000 that time so that must've mainly been to do with the hormones. However the nuchal plays a much larger part in the screening. Honestly? I'd be really happy with that. If you're not though and you feel you need reassurance theres obviously the nipt

@janey15 if you are worried are you able to call your midwife to talk through the result? They should be able to reassure you

Good luck for your harmony test @Kayjay2018. Hope your ear infection clears up soon!

Tentative congratulations and welcome @TwittleBee, I have everything crossed for you that all will ok this time. We're all here if you need someone to stress to.

Hope all went well today @Bluebelltulip.

Sorry they've moved your appointment @InDreamland. That's rubbish.

I think anything better than 1 in 150 is considered low risk @janey15 but I understand why you're anxious. If you're really worried get the NIPT done for peace of mind but 1 in 528 is really unlikely and your NT was good.

Thank you @rubyroot, @SunshineCrocodile, @InDreamland and @Kayjay2018.

@Kayjay2018 she had vascular dementia for over 10 years so similar to your nan.

Scan went really well. Heart rate is normal and growth is tracking the 10th centile which matches DD1 and DD2 at this stage so consultant is happy with it. She's now going to do scans every 2 weeks to keep an eye on it. I feel much better and DH has commented that it's the first scan that I've left happy instead of still nervous. Got some 3D photos too.

@janey15 mine came back as 1 in 190. The cut off for being considered high risk and being offered further testing by the nhs is 1 in 150.

I felt very stressed about it and although logically I thought it would probably all be fine, I was very stressed so paid for NIPT.

I agree the neck measurement is the important thing. Mine came back at 1.8. Its just my hormones were allover the place for some reason. Which made it skew the result.

@Bluebelltulip i'm so sorry to hear you've lost your grandmother. Losing a grandparent is extremely hard - I have sadly lost all four of mine so I understand to some degree. Please take extra special care of yourself and that gorgeous baby of yours. That scan pic really is something special!

@Beaglemum93 Thanks for that info; it's useful to know. I thought pharmacies only did paid-for jabs. And now I'm wondering why my workplace refused the jab to pregnant employees.

I got my flu jab done at the GPs today in the end after seeing the midwife. They snuck me in because it was quiet.

@InDreamland the NHS website says this: "You should start to feel your baby move between around 16 and 24 weeks of pregnancy. If this is your first baby, you might not feel movements until after 20 weeks." I know it's not your first pregnancy, but it's your first second-trimester pregnancy so I think the advice is still sounds... It's completely normal not to feel movements until now and they do start off very infrequent. When I started feeling mine it might be once every few days and then maybe one or twice a day. Now I can feel her more often; but that's quite a recent development and I'm nearly 25 weeks now.

My arm was also really sore for a few days after the whooping cough injection. I was told to keep moving it as much as possible and elevate it whenever I could.

@Bluebelltulip I'm sorry for your loss. How lovely that you got a few more days with her.
What a lovely scan photo!! Really glad it was a reassuring appointment. Great news.

@Twitwoo Yey for making it to 8 weeks! Hope you don't get DD's bug. My OH has had a nasty cold for a few days so I'm also bracing myself...

@Kayjay2018 Woohoo! 10 weeks! That first trimester is nearly over! My MS started easing off around 10 weeks so hopefully you won't have it for much longer. And the tiredness might get better in second trimester too. Good luck for Wednesday.

@TwittleBee Welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses. How many DPO are you? (If you don't mine me asking). Fingers and toes and eyes and everything else crossed for you that this is a lovely little rainbow nestling in.

@janey15 Hugs! I think that's quite a common result? Did it spell out whether it was a low or high risk?
I think you should turn it on its head and think of it this way... It's a 527 in 528 chance of no problem...

@TinyPaws How are you doing chicken?

Had my MW appointment today. All was well. She listened to baby's heart beat. I was expecting it to take ages for her to find because it was so hard for the MW when I had the scare at 22 weeks; but she found her heartbeat almost immediately and it was 152.
Also managed to get my flu jab, which I am relieved about.

@Bluebelltulip wow, that's a fantastic scan, I'm so glad you can put happy and not nervous, sounds like you have a team who are keeping their eye on things too. If I get to 16 weeks I should be on weekly fetal echocardiograms for a few weeks. At the moment I can't see beyond Wednesday and the harmony results a few weeks later.

@Beaglemum93 thank you, hoping the ear spray works! Not used to no hearing in my right ear and don't think it's helping my nausea
@KnitKitty thank you! Glad you got to hear little ones heartbeat. I heard my little ones at my 7 week scan and it made me want to cry

Has anyone got their results from the fetal medicine centre ahead of their 12 week nuchal scan? I have my nhs 12 week scan 2 days before I will be back there for my results and further scan, I'm just desperate to know if there is a problem as soon as possible.

Hi @TwittleBee I think we were both on the sept bus and I was sorry to read about Roy, I dropped off after an early MC but carried on following the threads quietly. I really hope this is your rainbow xxx

Hello. Just dropping in for a moan this morning. OH has a really bad cold and kept me awake for what felt like most of the night with his snoring.
I was then lying awake worrying about things like finances (anyone else going to be on SMP?).
I've been getting the occasional heart palpitations, but last night they were pretty bad (probably because of lack of sleep and worrying I guess) so then I was worrying about my heart and couldn't sleep because of that... vicious circle!
Anyone else been getting palpitations?
I've read that they're pretty common on pregnancy.

@KnitKitty I sympathise with the poor night sleep, teenage son was at theatre with school and had to be picked up at 11:30 last night. They were late(midnight ish) so I ended up snoozing my alarm a few times and that and the earache and the dog being naughty and barking at foxes I'm shattered.

As for heart palpitations, not suffered in this pregnancy so far, but did suffer from them when I had an issue at work a few years ago. You are tired and want to sleep but can hear and feel your pulse racing so mind won't switch off and you get stuck in that cycle. I found rescue remedy night lozenges were good, not sure if they are suitable for pregnancy but I actually think that just concentrating on sucking the sweet calmed me down. Alternatively these days a foot massage knocks me out in less than 10 minutes, any chance OH can oblige?

@rubyroot I know that whatever does happen, good or the worst that we will find out eventually Bubsy's sex. At the moment though I am liking the idea of a surprise as well as protecting myself emotionally. It's also nice knowing if I want to know I can easily just open the envelope.

@Kayjay2018 I still think you done so well to cope the past week. Think it would've broken me. My Trust tend to have you see the same midwife and also I want to see her because she is really good, well bedside manner anyway, I've had a good experience with her so far.

@janey15 that NT sounds good to me but if you're worried please speak to your midwife. They can hopefully help explain the results etc. and put your mind at ease. Then if you're still worried could you pay for NIPT?

@Bluebelltulip lovely scan photo! Glad things are all looking well.

@KnitKitty thank you, I know all the advice you and the others have given on movements is bang on, I'm just so anxious at the moment. Pregnancy after loss(es) really is so so tough isn't it. Glad all went well at the midwife yesterday. Sorry you were up last night worrying. I did get heart palpitations in first tri but don't recall having any so far in second tri although I did randomly check my HR yesterday whilst sitting at my desk and it was 93bpm which I thought was high. I don't go onto SMP until 6 months to 9 months. The first 6 months I get full pay. Still need to save up for the second 6 months of maternity leave though as it's a massive drop in income for us.

22 weeks today. This anxiety is going nowhere, really wish midwife hadn't been moved to Sunday from tomorrow morning.

Morning all, thank you for the continued warm welcomes!

@KnitKitty Yesterday was when Af was due but as my LP is only 10 days I am only 12dpo today but blazing positive on this morning's test and it wasnt even a FRER just a standard 50miu test. Gonna do a digi tomorrow! Also, how lovely the HB was an easy find by MW this time, always lovely hearing that!

@Bluebelltulip how lovely that you finally had a scan where you left feeling happy - beautiful 3D image there too!

Yes we was on there together! @Frillyfarmer - so lovely to be on here with you now despite our circumstances!

Haha yes I recognised your name straight away @InDreamland - funny how we all connect again on here at some point! Regarding the Woodland, it is still a very very very slow process through the legal action route. Looks like it will come to us just letting the CF buy the land off us as i reckon he will just be a constant annoyance anyway.

Hope you're all doing well. I need to go back and have a read of the last few posts. I had an appointment with a doctor at the hospital yesterday about having a c section this time and they seemed to be in agreement although I have another appointment after the 20 week scan to talk more about it and book it in. So hopefully I won't even be in labour this time and am a lot less likely to be assaulted by medical staff this time 🙏 feeling relieved although not totally, that will come hopefully after the birth if it all goes well 😊

@Indreamland I admire your restraint I'm so impatient and downright nosey so I just can't wait. The good thing about having a boy is no new clothes or toys to buy. Though I think I would have just dressed a girl in the clothes I have as I'm a tight arse. 😁
Had my midwives appt, it was the same annoying one 🙄I asked her about chance of toxomolosis (whatever its called). Also mentioned my headache that I've now had for 9 weeks. She said that I was just going to be a "witterer" and said there was no point going to the go as they wouldn't do anything about my headaches and if I don't take paracetamol then they'll just say try that. I said I had taken paracetamol and it does work but when it wears off the headache returns. I said I was not prepared to take 8 a day for the whole pregnancy. She then said I'd be perfectly fine to.
Anyway I'm quite thick skinned, but she annoys me, so I'm wondering is it possible to change where you go for midwife appts half way through? Eg another children's centre?

Gp not go

@rubyroot I would try and see if you can see another midwife, that one doesn't sound supportive at all. I do think someone should look into your headaches, if could just be a pregnancy thing but there are other things that can be checked.

@rubyroot I went to the gp with never ending headaches when on fertility drugs. It was really reassuring as she ruled out all the possible causes that are serious. She also said paracetamol can make a headache last longer so don't take it continuously. Unfortunately for me the only thing that helped was a massage to relieve the tension in my neck and shoulders but it's a bit pricey!
X

Thanks @Bluebelltulip to be honest I'm quite thick skinned. But I don't expect to be called a 'whitterer' after what I've been through and to be told that I shouldn't go to the doctors after suffering with a headache for 8 weeks! I think I'd rather go elsewhere. My next appt is 8 weeks away so a have a while to arrange it!

Thanks @janey15 I felt it was irresponsible to leave something so long and not get it checked out!
I've also read that analgesics can increase headaches.

@janey15 I love a good massage. How does one go about those during pregnancy though?