Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

@rubyroot I usually have a sports massage but I'm paranoid so will be booking a pregnancy massage in half term. I found a place that does sports massage and physio therapy but has someone who is trained in pregnancy massage. Pricey but it sounds like they know what they're doing.

How to annoy your pregnant wife: pile a load of crap including a wooden door up against the bathroom door so she can't wash or clean her teeth, then go out for the night 🤬

For my two little angels in heaven. Forever in my heart and mind. I will love you always. One day I will hold you both in my arms xxx

@InDreamland ❤️❤️

Wave of light. I feel a mixture of relief I'm not in the darkness I was earlier this year, or this time last year and guilt for being in a happy place when so many hundreds of thousands of ladies are still going through hell.

We came onto this thread in big waves from the TTC thread and I hope and pray for all the ladies on the TTC thread that their time is coming and we're about to have another wave. Xxx

@Frillyfarmer don't feel guilt. 😢
But I second that, sending hope to all those ladies who are currently trying to conceive after loss.

@KnitKitty I had palpitations a lot early on. I don't know when they stopped but I haven't had anything for weeks now at 14 weeks. I get really out of breath walking though. I usually walk miles all the time but now I start puffing at the slightest hill 😂 I was even like it before I knew I was pregnant and my DH made me climb Mt Vesuvius on holiday 😩

@InDreamland 💜💜💜

Thanks for putting up with my worries about my screening result ladies. I'm trying to put it in perspective today. I think it was partly because of the difference between the Down’s risk and the others which were over 1 in 65000 and partly that I hadn't looked at the age stuff so expected it to be better. I don't feel 'old' at 34! But it's the second time I've been told my results were 'good for my age' 😂

I also think it's partly because I don't trust the accuracy of the test. I was a bit worried beforehand that I'd get a really low risk score, still not trust it but be unable to persuade DH to go for the NIPT. I can't help but worry I'll be one of the low risk pregnancies that turn out to have Down’s. It's not simply DS that worries me but the severity of it as the child I'm currently involved with has very severe needs.

I would like to do the NIPT to get a more accurate result but DH is worried how ill be during the wait for results of if it shows a problem. Also the nearest place is a 2 hour drive away.

Anyway, it's giving me something to think about

#BLAW

@janey15 I think if the comications relating to the ds is severe then the nuchal translucency would likely be severe too. Mine was 5.8mm with my t21 pregnancy and I was told from the scan I would miscarry naturally if I didn't have a termination.

Anyhow, you've made your mind up and it seems you need the nipt for reassurance. Here is a link where you can get it done via post.

mybabycompany.co.uk/non-invasive-prenatal-testing-nipt/

I had the prenatal safe, it was back so quickly. Tested on the Tuesday and results back Friday. Though if you're someone who wants to here the starmts eg 1 in 10,000 the pre natal doesn't offer this. You're either low risk or high risk, but it's 99.9% accurate so according to the stats is one if the most accurate of the nipts. I was happy with the accuracy and that I was low risk.

I think they do others as well as the pre natal safe though.

Gosh you must live in the back of beyond, I'm out on a limb where I am, and the nearest place is just over an hour away. Any reasonably large city does nipts. I'm intrigued now as to where you are.

Stats not starts

Hear not here

Bah. I already have dd's cold or whatever this is!! Sitting here unable to sleep feeling sorry for myself. Have been waking up every 3 hours or so since the start of this pregnancy so being extra shattered surely won't help me tomorrow morning.
Positivity mask on, I think the fact that I can't smell or taste anything might actually be helping with the nausea 🤪

@rubyroot I had no idea you could get it by post so thanks for that. I've pm'd you our location 🤣

@Twitwooo oh no! I think I'm getting one too just in time for half term. I had one at 6 weeks that was literally the worst cold I've ever had so really hope it's not that bad again!

@janey15 it's a horrible time of year for it isn't it!! I had one at around 3 weeks too while visiting in-laws but it wasn't that bad. This one has all of my facial cavities suffering.

I was actually sad dd got sick a week before half term, she'd be home anyway next week 🙈 she only goes to pre school a few mornings a week and that's when I normally get some work done or as of lately, sleep!

Have also found out on the nhs website that 2 and 3 year olds are eligible for the nasal spray flu vaccine, but heard nothing from our gp so I guess I'll have to ring around and ask about it. Someone mentioned down thread (I think) that being around someone who had the nasal spray one puts you at a slightly greater risk of actually catching it yourself as it's a live vaccine, does that mean I should get myself done first and then dd? Have midwife appt oh Monday so can ask then

@Kayjay2018 Hope you had a better nights' sleep last night. I imagine having a teenager while pregnant has its challenges!

@InDreamland I think for you as well it was the years of infertility followed by losing your two precious bundles that has made your anxiety so bad. I can understand feeling too afraid to believe this is happening for real after everything you've been through. What methods are you using for thinking positively and keep your anxiety into check? Maybe we could offer some other ideas? I hate to think of you still suffering so badly.
I was an absolute wreck in my first trimester but gradually got better following my first couple of early scans and passing milestones and I only have mild moments of occasional anxiety these days; which I think would be normal for any mum, whether after loss or not. I wish you could enjoy this pregnancy more. xxx
Hang in there.

@TwittleBee Have you done the digi this morning? Love that you've found a silver-lining to having that horrible cold that's going round! Hope it doesn't last too long!

@ChikiTIKI I'm glad they are being cooperative about your birth plan choice. I think it's really good to feel in control of the situation.

@rubyroot Blimey! I'm glad you are thick-skinned because that MW sounds horrible! I would definitely look in to your options about changing MW... You need to feel supported through your pregnancy. There must be an alternative. I'm totally with you on not wanting to take too much medication even if it's considered safe for pregnancy. I'm assuming that your blood pressure and everything appear fine which is why she wasn't worried about the headaches, so that's a good thing. But I would definitely want a second opinion and I think I'd make an appointment to see your GP first of all.
I'm assuming you've tried things like neck and shoulder massage? (Oh, just read your and janey15's conversation about it... Great minds...)
Have you considered acupuncture? I've been having it since my last MC last year and swear by it. Seems to help with everything!

@janey15 Oh dear... That was very inconsiderate of him!!! And sheesh! Mt Vesuvius while pregnant sounds like torture!
It's understandable to worry about results and possibilities... Especially if you have experience of looking after children with the types of issues you're being tested for.

@Frillyfarmer I understand the guilt, but try not to feel like that. You are allowed to be happy for yourself.
I really hope we have another wave come over from the other thread soon too.

Thanks for the support RE the palpitations. They eased off over the day and I had a good nights' sleep last night. I think it must be a mixture of hormones and bad sleep which caused it the other night. If it keeps happening I'll speak to my GP, and might mention it at my next consultant appointment next week, but I'm not too worried about it. It was the kind of palpitations where it feels like your heart skips and beat and then does an extra thuddy one after so was quite disconcerting at the time. Seems to be worse when I'm resting.

I had to give in and get something for heart burn yesterday because that's my new symptom... heartburn every time I lie down. People keep telling me to lie slightly propped up, but that makes me ribs sore. There's no winning! Anyway, the heart burn stuff seemed to help last night so feeling good this morning.

25 weeks today!!!
As I've mentioned before, I'm high risk for premature birth so every week feels like a mile-stone now. Reading up on the survival rates for preemies reassured me yesterday; each week just gets better and better. I do hope Baby Girl keeps cooking until the planned c-section date though!

Still finding it utterly weird and wonderful that there's an actual baby inside my tummy right now... It's so hard to get my head around!

@TwittleBee those neighbours are more than CF, hope you get a really high price for the woods. Are the other neighbours who had the same problem also doing same as you?

@ChikiTIKI glad you're feeling more positive about the birth.

@rubyroot that midwife should not say things like that. Sounds incredibly rude to be honest. I'd be complaining about her. She has no right to show so little respect pr regard for your feelings and the headache needs to be taken seriously.

@janey15 I'd be livid if DH did that! The NHS combined screening accuracy was partly why I decided to just go for Harmony straight away, I didn't want the added anxiety.

@Twitwooo oh no, hope you get rid of the cold quickly. I also read something about the nasal vaccine same as you definitely would say get yourself done first.

@KnitKitty you're bang on there. I just can't relax now until baby is in my arms happy and healthy. It's taken a lot of energy and emotion to get to this point and still 4 more months to go. This really feels like the longest pregnancy ever. I only occasionally think positive when either just had a scan, seen midwife and heard HB on doppler or think I've felt a little movement. I'm hoping when movements (hopefully) get stronger I might be more positive if I'm constantly reminded Bubsy is alive in there. I've also been having acupuncture.

I think movements are slightly stronger and more noticeable, well they were last night and this morning but maybe it was just wind. Who can tell? Ladies anyone know how far along before an incompetent cervix becomes an issue and is detected? Another anxiety of mine. Also, I know thousands of pregnant women do it but surely a jolty tube train (central line) doesn't do any good for baby? I really need this midwife appointment on Sunday to come fast - it's been 2 weeks since my 20w scan and I'm going crazy.

Wave of Light was beautiful last night, so many friends and family took part in lighting candles and sharing on SM. Hope you all were comforted last night x

@InDreamland - they have decided to just take a token payment! They arent bothered at all now. In regards to the tube... not exactly that same but my Consultant has told me to continue with my half marathon training, she said research shows that it will be fine and surely running is similar to tube jolts? I was on the tube yesterday (actually had a comical but scary moment of being squeezed between the tube doors sideways!!!!) and so i think it is reasonably similar? Consultant has concerns about my cervix too, off for proper investigations if this pregnancy progresses to that point.

Morning @KnitKitty yes 1 digi complete and I am pregnant! Whoop! Would you mind if I ask why you are at risk of having a preemie? With my two sons I laboured early each time - consultant has told me it is extremely unlikely to happen again but I cant think otherwise! Congrats on 25 weeks! Really keeping my fingers crossed you get to 32 weeks at least before labour starts for you.

Morning sickness and boob ache has started... oh the joy ey! haha! 4 weeks+2 today

I saw some wave of light posts but didn't post anything myself. Some people know I am pregnant but may not know about previous MC so I obviously didn't want to confuse or worry anyone. Felt quite emotional looking at all the Instagram posts.

Got an achey feeling in my stomach muscles last night and today. Feeling a bit worried 😔 15w 4d today xxxx

@ChikiTIKI I had that - it's probably just round ligament pain rather than anything sinister but if you're worried please call your midwife.

I'm 20+5, scan on Friday, and today I am feeling lots of kicks and wriggling so trying to take my reassurance from her movements 🥰

@ChikiTIKI I've never been as far along as you but I'm sure everything's fine. Could it just be everything stretching?

@rubyroot hmm she sounds lovely 🧐😅 I would look into changing if I thought she was going to make me feel I couldn't ask questions or express my worries - surely that's what they're there for?

@InDreamland Glad to hear the movements seem to be getting stronger! I wouldn't worry about the tube, I don't think it can cause any harm.

It's so lovely to see so many people so far along, it gives me hope that everything might work out for me too 💕

I need a bit of a handhold ladies. I have my 12 week scan first thing tomorrow morning and I'm terrified. I had a private scan a week ago and everything was fine, but I then had light red spotting on Friday and on Monday, so feeling pretty anxious. I have read that the further along you get, the more unusual it is to experience bleeding. I really hope this is it for us, not sure I can deal with a third mc after getting further this time and seeing the baby begin to actually look like a baby.

@Twitwooo oh no, colds are nasty at the best of times, make sure you are gentle on yourself
@KnitKitty I'm really lucky DS is a good teenager on the whole, tad lazy but that's par for the course. I hadn't realised you were a high risk for an early baby. DS has me in labour at 29 weeks and again at 34 weeks but with medicine they kept him in until 37 weeks. I was only 22 when I had him and just so naive about it that it didn't stress me as much as it should have done.
@InDreamland I think it's only natural to be anxious when it's taken so much physically and emotionally to get this far. I had a train and tube ride to the fetal medicine centre today, I don't know how you do it! Nauseous the whole train ride then overwhelming by the heat on the tube. I'm glad you think baby movements are getting stronger as I'm sure they told me today I have an anterior placenta so think it will take a while to feel anything with this one.
@TwittleBee congrats on the digi result, no denying it when it's in words!
@ChikiTIKI I hope you are feeling a bit better, I've been feeling odd pains but noticed today my tummy feels hard lower down so think it's things growing and moving about. Do u have a sympathetic midwife to talk to?
@Dimblebimble I hope all goes well at the scan tomorrow, I had scan nerves overnight and have been awake since 4:30 worrying so I know how you feel.

I had my harmony test today and viability scan, baby measuring the 2 days ahead still so 10+2 today, it was having a little dance, got a couple of pictures and was allowed to record the little little video they took. Heart beat was 176bpm and I was told all looks very healthy. The bleed they had seen had totally gone. Harmony results back in 7-10 days, I so hope they come back clear as I'm so attached to it already.

@Dimblebimble I will be thinking of you tomorrow!! I hope it goes well. From my experience a bit of spotting or bleeding is OK as long as its not every day for more than 5 days or so. I realise everyone's different though, and that's just my personal experience xxxxxx

Thanks @kayjay2018 😊
I haven't seen a community midwife yet this pregnancy only ones in the hospital although I have my 16 week appointment next week on Tuesday so will mention it then. I'm sure with my first pregnancy I had some pains (rather than just aches) but at that point I had never miscarried so naively assumed everything was fine and didn't worry about it.

Your scan pic is lovely!! I hope your harmony results come back great. I was told 7-14 days for mine but they took my blood Monday afternoon and I got the results Thursday 7pm. So hopefully you won't have to wait too long. Dont they take so much blood!!! I had such an awful headache after and felt really sick the next day. I don't do well with that sort of thing though 😂🤒 xxxx

@Dimblebimble sending a handhold. That must make an anxious time even more anxious. Hopefully just a but of sporting and baby will fine. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. It really is a worrying time before the 12 week scan, or before any for that matter!

@Kayjay2018 excellent news, here's hoping you have a short wait. 🤞

Good luck tomorrow @Dimblebimble.

Glad the scan went well @Kayjay2018.