Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

@sadtoday21 they sound like great stats to me. Congratulations

@FirstTimeMama91 I survived on hot water, honey and lemon. And halls soothers. Hope you feel better soon x

Thanks @fnej01 currently drinking some hot lemon and honey. Got showered, new pjs and gonna chill in front of tv all day 👌🏻

@FirstTimeMama91 sorry you're feeling rubbish! Rest and PJs sound like a good plan. I find ice lollies quite soothing when I get sore throats.

@sadtoday21 they sound like great stats, congratulations! Hope you are able to rest easier now

@Squiff70 glad to hear there was nothing untoward on the scan

Sorry not to reply to everyone, hope you are all having a great weekend!

@Navy123 I've had the pregnancy insomnia too. Really not used to it as I'm normally a really good sleeper. It has got better since my last acupuncture appointment though.
I'm just seeing it as practice for when the baby comes....

My family all know about my pregnancy now. They had suspected for a while but my mum outright asked me this morning when I had cereal for breakfast, then watermelon, then went to the shops and came back with a huge bacon sandwich.

Been stood up all day today and just had a slight bit of brown spotting :( probably nothing to worry about but I always do. Feels like more pressure now everyone knows. 10 weeks today so probably got another scan in a couple of weeks xxxx hope you're all ok xxxx

Hey ladies, just posted and realised we have a lovely new thread.

I'm 40 and had a mmc at 10 weeks conceived during our honeymoon last year with ERPC in February. I then had a second early loss in March straight after. We got our bfp on 2/8/19. My EDD is 15 April 2020. I'm suffering with HG so I've been pretty ill. Forgive me if I don't post much but it's been pretty debilitating. I'm hoping the symptoms will improve as I get further along. One can hope.

@strawberrye that's a lovely clear picture. Congratulations!

@Frillyfarmer we saw a rainbow on the way to our scan today. Even though I was anxious I hoped all would be well and it was a sign.

So ladies I'm pleased to say our little one is growing very nicely. I'm measuring 8 plus 5 with a strong heartbeat. It's little arms were even moving. We're over the moon and trying not to think of all the obstacles to come though it feels like we're over the biggest risk period. Although I've really been suffering with sickness this made it all worth it. xx

@ChikiTIKI I'm sorry to hear about the spotting. My friend had it at 10 weeks and was completely fine. It's normal to worry though and hopefully not too long until your next scan for reassurance. I completely get the pressure when everyone knows though. I'm trying not to tell people but it becomes obvious before long xx

Somebody talk me out of my negative thought spiral! Last night I had a bad dream that I went into labor at some point in the second trimester and delivered a tiny dead baby. It was vivid. Today I'm convinced that at my scan on Monday I'll be told there's no heartbeat, and that even if that scan's ok I'll lose the baby later on. It doesn't help that I've had much less nausea today. Boobs are still large and tender though. Part of the reason I'm so paranoid is that with my last pregnancy I had a nightmare that I started bleeding, that dream came true about a week later and I miscarried.

Part of me knows these thoughts are completely illogical but I'm just feeling incredibly negative and worried about this baby. I'd give anything to have to run to the toilet to puke about now!

Hey @TinyPaws sorry you’re feeling anxious. Dreams can be so vivid in pregnancy. I was convinced I’d get bad news today. My symptoms seemed far better and I had a dream in the week the sonographer couldn’t find anything and said the baby had been ingested by my body. At the real scan all was good. Its completely normal to feel this way after loss. Sometimes I think we think the worst to prepare ourselves. One thing that’s helped me is to remember the outcome is already decided and there’s nothing I can do but remain as positive as I can until proven otherwise. Good luck for Monday! Xx

@TinyPaws sorry that sounds rubbish and I completely understand your panic based on your previous experience. This is a new pregnancy and you've had two scans of your beautiful bean with a lovely strong heartbeat.

On the dream front (and a lighter note) I have been having lots of weird vivid ones. The peak of which the other night I dreamt I grew a giant third nipple in the middle of my belly! Totally freaked out in the morning I googled it and it's not uncommon for women to grow extra nipples and lactate from them! Fortunately no sign yet!

I think pregnancy is just weird and the hormones bring up all sorts of weird insecurities and emotions x

@catconfusion thanks! Great news on your scan too, it's so amazing to see them wiggling their little arms when they are so tiny isn't it?

@TinyPaws I had some awful dreams leading up to my dating scan - one that I was HIV+ on booking bloods but had no idea where I contracted it, and another that baby had loads of legs and I was forced to TFMR. They were both very vivid and whilst I knew rationally that they were very unlikely/impossible (I had seen baby with only 2 legs on previous scan!), it really shook me and played on my mind. I think after loss we are on such high alert it's really hard to distract thoughts away from reading into dreams, varying symptoms etc. Just try to be reassured that vivid dreams and fluctuating symptoms are both completely normal in pregnancy. Feeling anxious about your scan is completely normal too, especially after having such a vivid frightening dream - but there is nothing to say that the dream was based on what's in store on Monday. Hope you manage to feel a bit less anxious, or at least find some distraction, and best of luck for the scan on Monday.

Thanks @strawberrye it blew our minds as we didn’t see a heartbeat with either of the pregnancies we lost let alone movement. At least I can rest tonight though no doubt the anxiety will come back. Xx

@Catconfusion Glad your scan was reassuring and how cool to see the baby move.

Thank you sensible ladies. Glad it's not just me with the crazy vivid dreams! The worst thing is I know I'm being completely irrational but I can't seem to help it. While cleaning and tidying today I found a fortune from a fortune cookie that I had while planning the cycle that resulted in this pregnancy, it says "Your present plans are going to succeed" and that bizarrely made me feel better. To think, I used to be a rational logical woman!

Hello everyone! Sorry to have been quiet, I do try to pop in when I can but I have to ration my Mumsnet at the moment so I don't discover new things to worry about :)

Hello to the new ladies, and hope we all have full term, healthy and straightforward pregnancies with gorgeous little rainbows to cuddle at the end of them.

I'm DuvetCaterpillar, 34, and currently 11+1 with my second pregnancy, after my first turned out to be ectopic in February this year.

All seems to be OK so far, touch wood. DuvetEmbryo gave us a scare on Thursday when I had some red bleeding and light cramps, but EPU scan showed a healthy bouncy foetus kicking about in there :D No photos from this one (too relieved to do much other than gawp like a goldfish) but 12 week scan on Monday so really looking forward to seeing the little one again, and at least it makes the scan less nerve-wracking - clearly little one just enjoys keeping us on our toes!

Sorry to hear about the crazy dreams and insomnia - definitely with you on the latter. If it helps, dreams are thought to be the brain working through the things you're worried about, so it's probably not surprising that we're having horrid dreams. It's not predictive, it's just the brain having a worry while you're sleeping.

Adding myself into the roll call below.

Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

@TinyPaws the vivid nightmares suck, but they're actually a pregnancy symptom, so try to reframe it as a good sign. The fact it was a nightmare instead of just a weird dream is because of the anxiety, not a premonition.
My morning sickness disappeared for a few days before two of my early scans and sent me into panic... I'm pretty sure someone else on here had the same experience not long ago. I'm convinced that's a normal pregnant after loss psychological thing too.
Hugs. You can do this! Do some meditation or yoga, mindful breathing and get some positive affirmations going.
Something that helped me (and still does) when I've had a panic is talking to the baby and saying "Ignore mummy, I'm just having a silly moment... You keep doing whatever you need to do, you've got this!"

Sorry I haven't read all of today's posts yet but just wanted to add that it was me who lost all crippling nausea symptoms the morning before my scan. I wonder if it's the body's response to anxiety- sort of preparing for fight or flight? Anyway the next 48 hours were the absolute worst and I'm now taking medication for it.
@TinyPaws I had a complete panic and meltdown before my scan. You are being irrational but it's totally understandable given the situation we are all in. Keep talking to us on here. Everyone's kind reassurances made a huge difference to me last Tuesday when I thought I would die of terror before the scan.
Xxx

@Catconfusion good news on the scan
@DuvetCaterpillar lovely to see you here, we're not far apart at all. I'm 11 weeks 6 days today! Don't have my 12 week scan til next Monday at 13 weeks 1 day- my fault for not having my booking appt until 10 week 5.
I'm alright with that though. I'm hoping all is okay still, last scan was 10 weeks 2 so hoping it should be and the 3 week gap is forcing me to wean myself off these scans. Much love to you all x

Also, if any of you are having crazy irrational thoughts - I'm too scared to go to a nearby dog beach to walk my dogs because we walked there the afternoon before I started bleeding. It's a shame as it's a lovely beach with an amazing cafe! But I'm still not going to go. In normal life I am determinedly not superstitious!

Hi. Missed the last thread but I'm 15+3 now got some twinges and pains on and off today but not much. Glad to see so many familiar names and welcome to newcomers :)

Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Ladies is it safe to rub vicks vaporub on soles of the feet whilst pregnant? Hoping it will help my cold x

Can't seem why not. I've been using that headache stick. Isn't that a similar sort of thing

www.workingmother.com/momlife/13683451/is-vicks-safe-during-pregnancy/

But surely if you want it to help your cold you'd be better off actually putting it closer to your nose?!

@TinyPaws I had a dream last week that I was bleeding and it was all over - so, so vivid that I was shocked when I went to the loo in the morning and wasn't bleeding! Definitely the brains way of processing stress though, and like others said they're a strong pregnancy symptom!

@Catconfusion lovely scan pic, glad all is well!

@KnitKitty glad acupuncture helped with your insomnia. I definitely don't need the practice for this one, DS is still a shocking sleeper so I need the sleep instead! 19 times he shouted for us in one night the other day and I still spent ages awake in the one longer stretch he did.

@Squiff70 thanks! Sorry you're still worried though, completely understandable, and so sorry about your dog too. Horrible to be going through that alone - how is he (she?) doing?

Had such a busy day yesterday and no daytime nap which I have been relying on so I thought I might sleep better - clearly not! Been up since about 2.30, DS will be up soon and it's DH's turn for a lie in (well deserved) so I'm wondering if I just give up for the night!

Hi ladies, joining the roll call. Lovely to see so many scan pics.

About me:
Age: 38
1 DS age 3.
TTC since Dec 2017
3 MCs in 2018
18w + 3. :-)
I had my 16 week appointment yesterday and heard heartbeat (took midwife ages to find it but thankfully she eventually did).
EDD 06/02/2020 but may have c-section due to tear on first birth so poss week earlier.

Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Morning all! I've got a scan tomorrow at 15+3 😊 got quite a solid little bump now and starting to really believe this could be #2! Rotten horrible cold, drowning in snot today already!