Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

@Avocuddles So sorry to hear you've been bleeding. I really hope it's not what you think.

@VenusStarr So sorry you're expecting confirmation of the worst on Friday, it's just so horrible and unfair.

Thank you for all the sensible and encouraging words after my freakout on Friday. I'm happy to say I feel absolutely dreadful, nausea returned with a vengeance yesterday, and that my scan today showed a baby with a heartbeat measuring 8w0d (I'm 8+1), the possible haematoma seen on the 6 and 7 week scans has disappeared.

Hi ladies, can I join please? Sorry for all of your losses firstly! I had a MC between 8 & 9 weeks last year and I’m currently back at the same point in my current pregnancy and feel myself getting so anxious it’ll happen again! I know this is madness because even if I did have another mc it would be unlikely to be on the exact same day as last time. Any tips on just chilling out? Anyone done meditation or anything? I’ve booked a private scan for this weekend so hoping that might help.

Hey @StarryEyed88, I’m sorry for your loss. I can completely understand your worry but as you say the same thing is unlikely to happen again. Can I ask was it a mmc? Had you had a positive scan before the loss? I know I’m taking solace in the fact my baby stopped progressing at 6 weeks and I was 10 when I found out so at 9 weeks I feel past the most dangerous time. I read that if a heartbeat is seen at 8/9 weeks the chances are very good of the pregnancy working out. This thread is very supportive and I’m sure you’ll find it helpful! Xx

@Avocuddles I really hope it’s just some sort of breakthrough bleed or nothing more than that. It’s so scary. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed x

@sadtoday21 finally got my results today and all good. All 3 trisomies were less than 0.01% low probability. The fetal fraction percentage was 15.4% and we have the babies sex. Although I’m allowing my twins to announce it to us on Wednesday by popping a little confetti filled ballon that my sisters has filled. So that’s a little exciting. Hope your keeping well x

Welcome @starryeyed88 and congratulations on your pregnancy. I meditate quite often with reiki and honestly it’s the best thing ever to try and relax through all of this. If it’s not something your used to doing try guided mediation there are quite a few good apps you can get. Takes a little while to fully relax but it’s lovely to have some time to just chill x

@sadtoday21 big breath out less than 0.01% for all three trisomy. Feel like a very slight weight has lifted.

@Avocuddles have been thinking of you all day - good luck for the EPU appt tomorrow x

Yes @VenusStarr is right @Avocuddles they should still see you as you haven’t had a live birth. They will listen to your specific case and come up with a course of action. They may feel that two pregnancies means you won’t need certain investigations (they won’t check your Fallopian tubes as they will be clear). I won’t go in to too many details as I’m still hoping you will be ok but feel free to drop me a pm if I can help. Thinking of you both, Venus and Avo x
@TinyPaws that’s great news, do you feel a bit calmer? I have had weird dreams too. I’m entering my danger territory at 9/10 weeks so feeling a bit more nervous.

@Catconfusion hello, i had some bleeding last time and went to the EPU for a scan, where they said there wasn’t a heartbeat and that the baby had stopped growing a few days before at 8 weeks. I didn’t have a scan or see a heartbeat before that. I’ve read the same as you so hopefully if all is well this weekend then I’ll feel better. How far along are you?

@Ginmonkey84 thanks for your reply, I’ve done a little meditation before but would like to try a guided one

I’m sorry you hear you went through that @StarryEyed88 and can completely understand how triggering it is to be at that stage again. I guess just keep thinking it’s a new pregnancy and unlikely to end the same way. Obviously it’s difficult to know before a scan but your chances are very good. If the scan goes well it’s very unlikely you’ll have a similar problem to last time. I hope the weekend comes quickly for you.

I was dated at 8 plus 5 on Saturday with a glorious strong heartbeat. It was a very emotional moment but totally nerve wracking. Just so relieved our baby is doing so well. We have another scan next Saturday so fingers crossed! Xx

@Avocuddles I'll be thinking of you today @sadtoday21 I think those results sound great
@TinyPaws so please you had a good scan
@StarryEyed88 Welcome to the group, I'm a newbie here myself and everyone is so supportive! Ive been having reflexology mixed with reiki since my MC in April and have checked that I can carry it on. She is trained in pregnancy reflexology too - I swear I float out of there and you can see on my Fitbit that my heart rate drops during the sessions, I'd really recommend it.
@FirstTimeMama91 I broke my own rule about the clear blue dating tests. With my last miscarriage I had only got 2-3 weeks on one, when I should have been 6 weeks 5 days and then lost the baby a week later. This time I went a bought a 2 pack yesterday and have done a test, I think I'm 5 weeks tomorrow (according to FF) and got a 3+ with FMU this morning. Sounds silly that this makes me feel a bit relieved as I know things went wrong later, but I'm taking this as a sign that this time is different because my hormones obviously didn't reach that level before. I am booked in with a midwife 26th September to get the ball rolling. Not broached the subject of scans with DH yet.

Hope everyone else is feeling ok.

Thinking of you today @Avocuddles and sending love and positive vibes xxxx

@Avocuddles thinking of you today. Let ya know xxxx

@Kayjay2018 Awk very good that's great. I did a cbd at 4.30am and got my 3+ too woohoo. I'm 5+6 today

@FirstTimeMama91 that's great news

@Kayjay2018 Atleast it gives us some relief even for a while

Morning all. I had a gender scan yesterday which was amazing - so so so in love.

Completely ruined by DH when I got home (he couldn't make the scan) who announced he didn't want to know the sex as he would get too attached and there is still a good chance we could lose it again.

I'm 15+4 now and was really gaining a positive mental attitude to this pregnancy which he has just shit all over. We had an absolutely blazing argument about it this morning and I'm not sat at my desk, shaking with anger. Why does he have to be such a dick? He's usually really supportive and I know it's just a case of foot-in-mouth but I wished he had just kept quiet.

@InDreamland I hope you're having a fabulous holiday and that's the reason for the radio silence 😊

@FrillyFarmer congratulations on your gender scan yesterday. Sorry your DH isn't feeling as positive, maybe try talking to him about it later calmly if possible. It's hard when partners are in different places emotionally, me and DH are generally the other way round but talking about how we feel helps. Neither of you are wrong to feel the way you do and you don't need to feel the same way, pregnancy after loss is hard for both parents.

@Frillyfarmer thank you for asking after me. Hols is very nice so far but very tiring. Half way through our 2 week trip and I'm now putting my feet up for the afternoon. Sightseeing is exhausting in 35° heat and pregnant! So I've been needing to sit a fair bit and keep finding air conditioned places to cool off in before starting again. Not covering as much as would normally but it's just too hot. I hope I've not overdone it and hurt Bubsy. 17 weeks today! Still on 24 hour operation knicker watch. Sorry to read DH was unhelpful in saying that. Not what you need, sounds like he's anxious. I hope he snaps out of it soon.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thanks for the new thread!

About me: Age 39
TTC #1 since July 2013, after 5 years of unexplained infertility got BFP but ended in mmc in July 2018. Second mc in November 2018.

Joining the roll call.

Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Nice to read so many having early movements. I've not felt anything yet .....I don't think. Getting worried now as 17 weeks.

@VenusStarr @Avocuddles sorry you're both going through a difficult time again. Staying positive for you.

Sorry not to tag everyone. I've read up on what I've missed but it's a week I've not been on so struggling to keep up with everything.

Thinking of you @Avocuddles

Great to hear from you @InDreamland! Sure bubs will be fine, it's you that will be shattered! Don't worry regarding movement either, with DD I didn't feel anything until around 21 weeks. It will be very subtle, like bubbles or popcorn popping and low down to start with. Also, I'm still on kicker watch at almost 24 weeks! Try not to worry (easier said than done!) and ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY!! xxx

@Frillyfarmer congrats on your gender scan!! Sorry your DH spoiled the mood, but I’m sure he will come round once he wraps his mind around the pregnancy more. Thinking of you xxx.

On a related note, how early can you get a gender scan? I thought earliest was 16 weeks, but it seems they may be able to tell at 15? When did you ladies do it?

Hi all. Scan this morning sadly confirmed (as expected) that my baby has passed away. I feel absolutely devastated, it appears it stopped developing at the exact same stage as baby number 1 which makes me terrified that any future pregnancies may go the same way. Unfortunately it still seems to be firmly in place, I'm hoping that it passes naturally but have a follow up appointment in a week for treatment if it hasn't. Thank you all for your support over the past month, and good luck to you all. I'm sure I'll keep lurking as want to find out how all your rainbows are getting on x

Oh I'm am so sorry @Avocuddles, I am heartbroken for you 💔 it feels so unbelievably cruel for this to have happened. Sending you lots of love ❤️ xxx

@Avocuddles sorry for your loss, look after yourself and I hope you don't need intervention

@Avocuddles I'm gutted to read your update. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know nothing I say will make it better but please be kind to yourself. Drink all the wine, eat all the chocolate and watch all the box sets. Sending so much love xxxxxxxx

Oh no @Avocuddles this is heartbreaking news. I’m so sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself and I hope you get some answers and a plan in place for next time. You deserve to know why this has happened to you and I hope the doctors will help since there is a pattern. Thinking of you at this difficult time! Xx

@Avocuddles I'm so sorry - that's so awful for you both. I have heard of people being investigated for recurrent miscarriage after 'only' two if they are having fertility treatment so it might be worth asking. I really feel for you and second the advice about wine, chocolate and mindless tv xxx