Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hi ladies!

@Catconfusion how are you feeling today?

@sadtoday21 not long until the scan now!

I’m feeling very tired today ladies! Struggling to get through today at work!

Hey @Amanda81 that’s super exciting. Let us know how it goes. I wonder if it will feel more real when you see the birthing suite.

@Kiki061190 thanks for asking about me. Unfortunately it’s descended into full on vomiting when I got up this morning. I feel a little better now but it’s building up again. I’m going to see how I am today and ask the midwife for some reassurance about the medication. I still feel nervous about taking it. How are you feeling today? Xx

Hi everyone, hope it’s ok to join!

I’m 5+3 weeks with number 3. I’ve been lucky enough to have 2 healthy girls (8 and 4) but have suffered several losses, most recently before dd2 in January 2014. I also had a termination in December 2017 under medical advise.

It seems silly worrying now as writing it down I realise they were so long ago but it all feels so fresh in my head and since (a much wanted) BFP last week I’ve done nothing but worry.

I think the worst part is the symptom watching. With my last loss (a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks) my symptoms literally turned off like a tap. All of a sudden everything stopped and I knew something was wrong. At the moment I’m constantly thinking ‘my boobs are less sore now’ or ‘I don’t feel as sick as i did’ and it’s really stressing me out!

I know it’s such early days, I’ve only knowingly been pregnant for less than a week but I can’t go on like this!

So I’m not sure what I’m looking for really or how active I’ll be on this thread but knowing the support is there and I know I’m not the only one might be helpful!

Good luck everyone, fingers crossed we’ll have our healthy babies soon enough and all this will be worth it!! xxx

Hey welcome @OddshoesOddsocks it sounds like you’ve had a rough time. I don’t think it matters how long ago it happened I can image pregnancy is still a very anxious time for you. I too had a mmc but had horrendous symptoms right up until after my surgery. For me having symptoms doesn’t mean much. I can appreciate though if you’ve had a loss of symptoms before it can be distressing if they lesson.

This thread has been a life line for me so I’m sure you’ll get plenty of support from the ladies on here! Xx

Thank you for your lovely message @Catconfusion, I’m sure I’ll be back soon!

This afternoon isn’t too bad as I’m feeling pretty nauseous (sparked off by making dds lunches!) so crossing fingers that it lasts!

Hey @Catconfusion so sorry your sickness has gotten worse! Are you 7 weeks today? I feel like week 6 has dragged! I had some sharp pains today again but they’re disappeared now. Have you been managing to eat much?

@OddshoesOddsocks Welcome! I have always found the ladies here to be the greatest source of support ♥️ Sorry for your loss and congratulations on your new pregnancy! Hope this is a sticky bean for you ♥️

Thanks @Catconfusion and @sadtoday21 - I feel like I should tell him but we've had so many disappointments.
I think I'm (almost) at the the point that if this little one doesn't stick I might be over trying- after four miscarriages it's all getting a bit much but fingers crossed all will go well for this little bean!
I have just spent a semi-fortune on pg tests to check that the line is getting darker and keep running to the loo to check at every tweak.
I had one m/c between my two boys (now 6 and 3) then have had 3 since last August. Trying to relax about it as I'm sure stressing doesn't help!
All being well in a week I'll call my GP and push for a heartbeat scan- she was fantastic after my last m/c.
It's so lovely to hear positive stories on this thread, makes me feel much better! 😀

@OddshoesOddsocks it sounds like we are in a very similar place, I found out this morning am 4 weeks- can't relax to enjoy it yet xx

I went to the birthing suite today with the DH. It was a great 121 tour of the maternity levels of the hospital with my MW. Previously I have struggled to relate with my MW, but she was amazing today. I wonder actually if it was me and my anxiety stopping me from relating with her??? Anyway, we saw the low risk area first. I am categorised as low risk, which is great as I want to have a pool birth. We then saw the general maternity ward which is where I would go if I was switched to high risk. The difference in my hospital is quite remarkable - the low risk area is quite homely and the high risk is very medical (as you'd expect I guess). It was really good to be shown around the various areas and has certainly made things a whole lot more real. I am very aware though that a plan is just a plan and may not actually happen. I would like to try and not have much pain relief and want to try and not have an epidural...some women I have said this to have just laughed at me, but my MW is quite encouraging.

I am sure the scan will be perfect @sadtoday21. So this would be your 12 week NHS dating scan? Gosh that's gone quick! Like you have said to me, it probably hasn't gone quick for you. Did you try the walking this evening? I started to show around 16 weeks and I think I had quite a lot of bloat before then. I seemed to pop over night. Everyone is different though and depends upon your build xxx

Your sickness just sounds absolutely terrible @Catconfusion - I hope you are not suffering too much.

Welcome @OddshoesOddsocks and @charliehen - really sorry to hear about your previous losses and congratulations on your BFP's! You will get plenty of support on here.

The sharp pains are horrid aren't they @Kiki061190! I had these at week 9 and apparently was the start of my pelvic girdle pain. Do take it easy if you can.

Hello all, welcome @OddshoesOddsocks and @charliehen. I hope everyone had lovely long sunny weekends!

Sorry you’re feeling so rough @Catconfusion

Not long till your scan now @sadtoday21, I’m also counting down the days to the end of the week but only because then I’m off work for 2 weeks.

That sounds great @Amanda81 I wouldn’t laugh at you, I had a lovely water birth with no drugs in the MW unit under the twinkly lights. I know I’m lucky but it can and does happen that way for a lot of women, although I was made to feel a bit of a freak in my antenatal group! If you’re not already I’d highly recommend considering hypnobirthing, I couldn’t have got through the process without it!

Welcome @OddshoesOddsocks! What you said doesn't sound silly at all, it sounds exactly right to me. Pregnancy after loss is so hard, no matter how long ago the loss was. It's especially hard after MMC in some ways, because you never really know if everything is ok in there. I've had very little symptoms myself during this pregnancy and it is a constant worry. We are all hear for you whenever you need to talk about it!

Thanks @bananamonkey, hope you are off somewhere nice!! How are you doing with everything these days? What is hypnobirthing exactly?

Hey @Amanda81! I did indeed try the walking thing tonight - just got back from a 5 mile stroll with DH through the park. We talked about the scan on Friday and maybe going away for a night and the stress we are under. It felt good just to be getting out of the house and connecting in nature. Definitely helped take my mind off things for a bit, so thank you for that advice! And yes, it is the dating scan on Friday, hard to believe! I don't want to let myself get excited because I'm really afraid it will go the same way as last time, but part of me is hoping it will be ok. Either my bloat is insane or I am popping early! I guess only time will tell. I'm usually fairly lean, so I feel my stomach is absolutely enormous right now, but probably everyone just thinks I've gotten chubby! Will be nice to have a real, obvious bump.

I'm so excited for your birthing suite news! I've also thought about the birthing pool idea, but I'm not sure I want to be sitting in things? If that makes sense? I am also not exactly sure how it works. It does sound more relaxing and good for pain management though. As for the drugs, I'm with you, less is better so you can move around. I read that moving is really important and you can't do that with an epidural. Are you reading any books on the birthing process or what to do afterwards?

Thanks @Sadtoday21 I’m ok, just trying to keep busy as time is going so slowly and little things make me anxious like the symptom guessing games. Taking it one day at a time is still working quite well for me.

Hypnobirthing is a set of relaxation and visualisation techniques. You can do a class, read a book and/or listen to affirmations . There’s a great book Hypnobirthing the Marie Mongan method that has lots of great information on the physiology of birth and explains how it works. I didn’t get on with the visualisations but the relaxation and breathing techniques meant I could “manage” the pain, it also takes away a lot of the element of fear and makes you feel like you will be able to cope with whatever happens. If nothing else the class was the only night of the week I slept properly in that last few weeks of pregnancy so the relaxation definitely works! That and a TENS machine were invaluable!

Thanks for the positive story @bananamonkey - this is exactly what I would like to achieve. I've started researching hypnobirthing as I think it will help with getting the mind ready for birth. There's so much out there to tell you how to get your body ready, but not much on techniques to manage pain relief. Tbh I am really fed up on women laughing at me when I say I want to try and limit drugs. The ones that react this way all say 'that's what I said' or seem to suggest that I haven't considered that it will painful. I mean seriously. I have one RL friend who has had two children both birthed in a pool and she is very encouraging. So please to hear of another lady who has managed to achieve this.

As you are quite slender @sadtoday21 It probably is the start of a little bump - how exciting! I know what you mean about sitting in things, but the water is regulated for heat so there are constant water changes...so hopefully any yucky stuff can be deposited during the water change. You only go in to the pool when you are ready aswell, otherwise you will be like a prune 😂😂 not read any books as yet on the actual birth, but have been watching 'one born every minute' which is great homework and to see the variety of different births and the things that can potentially go wrong and how the MWs cope with these possibilities to bring the child healthily into the world. Have you watched the programs at all?

Hey @Kiki061190 yes 7 plus 1 now. The sickness has eased a bit today. I think the cooler weather has helped tbh. I even did a bit of yoga this morning which was lovely. We have the midwife today so a little nervous and excited.

I ended up telling one of my best friends as it’s her sons naming ceremony on Sunday and she was asking what alcohol I fancied. With how sick I am I just felt it puts less pressure on definitely going and staying too long if I’m feeling rough.

I wonder if like me you’re having bowel issues. I’ve definitely had sharp pains. Mine has cleared up a bit now.

@Amanda81 thank you so much for sharing about the birthing suite. It’s so interesting. I can’t believe you’ve been laughed at for wanting to limit pain relief. I think it’s great and hypnobirthing sounds amazing. Unfortunately being over 40 I doubt they’ll allow me in the pool. Anyway I’ll probably be c section due to my arthritis in my hips. I love the idea of it though.

@bananamonkey presumably that was in Norwich? Sounds like you had a lovely birthing experience. I hope you get similar this time around.

@sadtoday21 I hope you’re ok. Not long now until the scan! Two more sleeps! Xx

seem to suggest that I haven't considered that it will painful exactly this @Amanda81! I’m not saying it didn’t hurt like hell at some points and I was quite happy to ask for drugs when I felt I needed them. I was all ready to ask for gas and air at one point as I was knackered but then it was time to push. I stayed in the pool for 8 hours Tbh the MWs are so good at changing the water and you’re wrapped up in other stuff so I didn’t notice anything gross, plus I had my eyes closed for most of it!

Yes it was at the MLBU, @Catconfusion, it is lovely there. Exciting it’s your MW appointment today, hope it goes well x

I just got a vvvf positive!

Cycle 4 after MMC

Tell me I'm seeing things?? Is this my rainbow 🌈

@Catconfusion

Hey I'm 40 too. I also had MMC in May. Just tested 6 days early and got this !

Worried!

Hi ladies!

Just thought I would check in and see how yous are?

I am going in for an emergency scan first thing tomorrow morning. I have one sided shooting pains that have been on and off for almost a week so the NHS want to scan me to rule out ectopic. Fingers crossed it isn’t that ladies! Wish me luck I am so so nervous 😖

@Kiki061190 I really hope you are ok! NHS is very on top of things like this, so probably just being cautious and all is well. Hope you get to see baby's hb beating away! Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning Xxx.

Thanks @Catconfusion getting harder to concentrate on work now, just two more days! Talked to DH last night and we both decided we didn't feel like celebrating our anniversary tomorrow, we are both too stressed about the scan on Friday. I'm hoping we can celebrate properly if it's good news or maybe go on a trip away from here if not. Yoga in the morning sounds wonderful! Hope you keep feeling better :).

@Amanda81 that sounds really great actually and very relaxing. Have you considered any pregnancy massage or acupuncture? I haven't read or watched anything on birthing yet, still too soon for me I'm afraid! But following your journey with interest Xxx.

@Jojowash welcome to the thread and I'm so sorry for your previous loss. I also had an MMC in February. Pregnancy after MMC is really tough! But you definitely have a line so a tentative congrats are in order! Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy! Feel free to vent any of your anxieties on here with us, we are all in the same boat!

Oh no @Kiki061190 I’m so sorry. Glad you’re getting checked over and fingers crossed it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow! Xx

@sadtoday21 I think it’s a good plan to celebrate after the scan. You’ll be more relaxed and it’ll be a double celebration. Xx

Hey @Jojowash that’s looking like a good line. It’s scary being 40 but please know the mmc is still unlikely to be age related. I read so much on it and still most likely a one off so try not to fear the worst. I know that’s hard. Just take each day as it comes. Today you are pregnant! Xx

Sounds awesome @bananamonkey you never know I might not be high risk. I’m going to talk it through with the midwife today. Xx

@Catconfusion forgot to add, good luck with the midwife appointment today!

Oh no @Kiki061190 hope you’re ok, hopefully it’s just something benign x x

Sounds like a good plan to celebrate after the scan @Sadtoday21, nearly Friday!

That’s a definite line @Jojowash! Congratulations.

I’m scared to say it but I’m actually feeling a bit nauseous today. We are going on holiday with the ILs next week and just realised we’re going to have to tell them as they’re big drinkers.

Thank you so much ladies! I really wasn’t wanting to for a scan as I’m not in agony but they insisted I go. I’m more nervous they don’t see anything and it’s another loss. I guess every scan will have us feeling that way because of our previous experiences. It’s first thing tomorrow morning so at least I don’t need to worry about worrying whilst at work. I go on holiday next week so really don’t want any bad news!

@sadtoday21 thank you. It went very well. She was lovely. She won’t be our individual midwife but did all the booking in stuff. Was very empathetic and mindful that we’ve had a rough time. She couldn’t really reassure us it’ll all be ok because no one can but agreed the signs are good. Not long until your scan. Hang on in there! Xx

It sounds like a precaution @Kiki061190 but I’ve got everything crossed for you. I appreciate your worry but your chances are still good. At least you’ll likely be able to relax a bit more on your holiday. Let us know how you get on. Xx