Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

@Catconfusion that’s amazing news congrats!!! It was my first time seeing the hb too and it really is incredible! Hope you can relax now for a few days xxx.

@Kiki061190 how are you doing today? Hope you are feeling a bit better!

So I’m 11 weeks today and still really freaking out until my scan next week. My hormones seem to be going a bit crazy all of the sudden - I know have three spots on my chain and a smattering on my forhead. I’m gutted because now I think it’s going to be the same as my last pregnancy. Convinced something is wrong now...

Sorry for all the typos, exhausted today!

Thanks @sadtpday21 it’s just awesome isn’t it. I fear it’s made me get more attached but it’s hard not to when you see your baby is alive. I’m feeling pretty chilled for now but the anxiety will likely creep back. I think it’s just the way it is so I’m just going to let it come and go and try and stay positive.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling anxious and your skin has broken out. Has it come later than last time though? I can imagine the hormones are peaking at the moment so normal to get skin stuff going on. I can appreciate it’s triggering for you though. I guess just try and focus on how things are different this time. It would be so ridiculously unlucky to go through something like you did before. Your chances must be so much better this time. It’s just horrible how loss takes the joy out of future pregnancies. I hope this week goes quickly for you! Xxx

@sadtoday21 Thanks fo asking after me! I’m doing great just fatigued and a sore back. I had a freak out yesterday because I had some one sided pain but then it’s started on the other side today so hope it’s just down to growing pains! I’m so sorry you’re feeling anxious! One week to go and you’ll be feeling so much better ♥️♥️♥️

@Catconfusion Yayyyyy to a heartbeat 💗 Roll on 2 weeks to see how much your baby has grown. How exciting!

@Catconfusion that's true, you do get much more attached the more you see them, particularly once you see them moving about! For me, the anxiety has been worse as time goes on for this reason. Also, after three months of being pregnant you feel you have more to lose...even more so as more time goes on. I'm sure you can relate all too well. That's great that they are giving you another scan in two weeks - is there a reason for that? Seems like you are getting excellent care this time around!

You are right, there is a difference from last time, where the spots started from conception and got a lot worse than now. It's only been in the past few days that this has started and its not as bad, so not exactly like before. But I am really sensitive to everything going on in my body right now and what happened is that around 9.5/10 weeks symptoms decreased and now around 10.5/11 they seem to be much stronger than before (nausea returning, some spots outbreak, extreme fatigue, boobs hurting again, and a few tummy pains). I'm not sure what worried me more - the symptoms decreasing or increasing. Just wondering if it has to do with the placenta taking over and afraid something might be wrong with mine (as it was before). But baby was measuring normal size up to this point, so I'm hoping that is a good sign that there was no stunted growth that could point to another PM. I just need the scan day to come, sorry for all the rambling about myself! The scan will be the day after our five year anniversary, so not sure we can really celebrate until we know what's going on.

@Kiki061190 I had some tummy pains too lately, but they don't last more than a few minutes and then go away. Also hoping its normal, but it is frightening, isn't it? Glad to hear you are doing ok otherwise - how many weeks are you now? Xxx

@sadtoday21 I’m just over 6 weeks! Glad to know that you also experienced some pains. That’s all I really have to go on just now! You’re so close now! You must be excited to share the news ♥️

Ah that’s so amazing @Catconfusion so pleased for you!

Great news @Catconfusion - you really are getting looked after and everything looks like it is going as it should. It's good that they are allowing you another scan in 2 weeks. It does help. I had the same thing this time around (6 and 8 wks) with the nhs and it helped immensely. I hope the next two weeks goes quickly for you xxx

Thank you so much ladies. Unfortunately the sickness is getting worse daily. I’m considering trying cyclizine soon. There’s a small risk of cleft palette and heart defects but I’m starting to feel incapacitated by the nausea. I’ll try and hold out a bit longer ideally until the next scan if I can.

The EPAU are amazing. The nurse said even though this pregnancy looks normal I’m welcome to a second reassurance scan in two weeks. Im very impressed they offer this as it’s mainly for my mental health. I have the midwife next week and then scan a week on Saturday. I feel very cared for so far. My 12 week scan is likely to come through a couple of weeks early as I ovulated late and they book based on LMP so I may only have a couple more weeks after the next scan until that. Then of course the risks really start to go down.

I read somewhere that the additional risk of miscarriage for those over 35 goes down to the same risk as everyone else after a normal heartbeat is seen. It’s something like 10%. Not that I have much faith in statistics after being one of the 1% to have a mmc but its definitely a bit reassuring Xx

Hi ladies, so my efforts to distract myself from the scan this week are not working. Was going to try to focus on work, but I just end up obsessing about the 12 week scan. I think I just have to give up and accept that I can't do anything to take my mind off it. Did you also feel this way @3204ECL and @Amanda81?

How are you doing @Catconfusion and @Kiki061190? Hope you are having better luck at managing the anxiety than I am! Xxx

Hi All, sorry for being so absent have had a very busy weekend and have struggled to keep up!

@sadtoday21 I felt just the same. It was the longest 2 weeks ever waiting for the scan, especially as my symptoms whilst fairly mild in the first place had totally disappeared. What day is your scan? Really hope you can find some distraction but I totally understand how hard it is.

@Catconfusion so sorry to hear you've been struggling so much with the sickness, but wonderful news on your scan 🤗

@Kiki061190 how are you doing and how is your pain now? I experience round ligament pain for the first time this week, little Bean must have had a growth spurt! Was extremely painful and I was terrified but thankfully it was the same day as my midwife appointment and she reassured me it was that and should hopefully subside in a day or two which it did.

@Amanda81 How are you doing? How are you coping in this heat?!

@BabyPending I'm so terribly sorry for your loss and wish you speed recovery. Sending lots of love and thinking of you xxx

Hi ladies!

@sadtoday21 I have been feeling anxious this past weekend but better today. I guess there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome so I’m just getting on with things as best I can. Really wanting Friday here as I finish for a fortnight and could use some time off as I’m struggling to get through the working day without feeling exhausted! Is your scan Friday? I completely understand why you would be anxious. Just a few more days until you see your little bean again and you will feel much much better ♥️ Will you announce at 12 weeks?

@3204ECL Thank you so much for asking for me! No more pain just mild cramps, fatigue and back pain. I’m only 6+4 though. I just worry about the lack of sickness, did you have much nausea? How have you been?

Thanks @3204ECL! How have you been? Does the wait get easier between the 12 and 20 week scans, or not really? Hope you are relaxing and staying cool in this heat Xxx.

@Kiki061190 I'm struggling to get through work too, wish I could just be on vacation and lounging for the next few weeks instead! The heat doesn't help either - I was up all night last night because we have a loft and the heat rises to the top of the house where the bedroom is, unfortunately. I can't stay cool enough! Glad to hear your anxiety has eased a bit, although I know it's still hard. I will tell at least some of my family if the 12 week scan goes well, so yes, lots of pressure for that reason as well! These past two weeks have been the longest wait ever, even more brutal than the TWW!

@sadtoday21 I feel like your 12 weeks has went quickly but I think we always do when it’s not us! I felt like week 4-6 went really quick for me but maybe it’s dragging a tad now! Do you have some time off coming up? I was the exact same as you last night! Could not sleep due to the heat. Had every window in the house opened and the doors. The heat rises up in our home too!

Hey @sadtoday21 what day is the scan? I’m sorry it’s causing so much anxiety. You’ve had such a horrible trauma so it’s understandable. The statistics are so good after seeing a heartbeat and even after 8 weeks it’s highly unlikely to go through another loss. At the moment it’s working for me to just focus on the likelihood of it working out being really high. I’m not sure how long that will last for but I’m feeling quite relaxed. Apart from the sickness. I hope the scan day comes quickly so you can relax a bit and tell people.

@3204ECL thank you. It just is what it is. I’m just resting up when I can. Glad you’re keeping busy and everything is going well.

@Kiki061190 how is the pain today? I’m still getting some aches that move from side to side. I just think there’s so much going on in there. It’s unnerving after loss but it seems normal.

So I’ve been mainly sleeping and trying to eat little and often to help with the sickness. Also laying with a fan on me. The sickness is still there but maybe a bit better. We told my DHs Mum and her husband last night. They are over the moon!

I hope you all sleep well tonight! Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion! The scan is this Friday, so only four more days to go now. I feel you've been handling it better than me, even with your terrible sickness! I don't know what it is, I'm usually not a really anxious person, although I'm not super chill either. I think part of it tbh are the losses I've had back to back in the past year - first my mum, then first baby, and now I just can't seem to get into a positive mindset. I keep feeling like my world is going to end again and its been a pretty bad shock both times. I think it was you who said something about ptsd after mmc and there is definitely something to that. On a happier note, t's so exciting that you told your DHs parents! Was the reaction exactly what you hoped? Did you tell your own parents yet? Glad you are staying cool in front of the fan and the heat isn't making your sickness worse. Xxx

@Kiki061190 that's so true! I felt time flew by for everyone else on the thread, but inches by for me! What's your solution to this heat wave? I've tried a fan but it's only pushing hot air - might have to sleep downstairs somehow if this persists! I've been a bit worried about sleeping too long on my back or on my right side in case of disrupting blood flow to the baby (even though this probably doesn't matter until past the first trimester), so I think this is also impacting my sleep. Hope this is the last of the heat wave and I can go back to dreaming about cozy, fall sweaters! Being pregnant in winter is definitely better.

@Kiki061190 I had more of a lack of appetite and aversion to smells than real nausea. I just felt bleurgh all the time, it wasn't worse at any particular time of day. The only time I felt actually sick was when I was hungry. I don't think I started to feel that way until at least 6/7 weeks. You may be one of the lucky ones, one of my best friends who also had a mc last year is 31 weeks now and she didn't have a single bit of sickness or nausea. Are you planning to have a scan at all?

@sadtoday21 I have found my relief after the scans has lasted a bit longer but I still had one at 15 weeks and have another booked for Friday which will be 17+3 as I just find checking in helps keep my anxiety away. I was quite anxious last week when I had round ligament pain as I didn't really know what it was and feared the worst. I'm hoping once I start to feel proper movement that might help, I think I've felt the first few flutters in the lag couple of days but it's not consistent yet. It's just such a long time between 12 and 20 weeks! Got everything crossed for you for your 12 week scan we're Friday scan buddies 🤗

xxx

@3204ECL yay scan buddies!! What time is yours? Mine is first thing in the morning this time, thankfully. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that all goes well! Roll on more fluttery movements!! Xxx

@Catconfusion Pains are not too bad, they seem to be at both sides so I’m not worried about ectopic. Plus I think by 6.5 weeks I would feel if it was ectopic now? Been doing the same as you and eating little and often which seems to be helping. If I eat anything for too long I get a sicky feeling.

@sadtoday21 I sleep all over the place 😳 OH says all I do is steal the covers. I slept ok top of the covers last night which was good and wore the lightest pjs! Agree with you about being pregnant in the winter, I love comfy jumpers and big coats so should find dressing then easy.

@3204ECL I’m the same! Feel nauseous when I’m hungry and finding I’m wanting to eat more frequently but only small amounts. Glad to hear from other ladies that no sickness doesn’t mean anything bad! No I’m planning on holding out to 12 weeks if I make it that far. OH will need to drag me in as I just have a bad feeling. Just can’t see myself with a baby in 7.5 months. Such a bad mentality but just expecting no HB again!

@sadtoday21 mine isn't until 1.30 this time but then we're heading straight off on holiday for a week. Will be thinking of you in the morning, hope the next few days don't drag too badly.

@Kiki061190 your symptoms sound very similar to mine! Got everything crossed for you and hope 12 weeks comes around quickly.

xxx

@Kiki061190 I’d have thought it would be symptomatic by now if ectopic. I wouldn’t worry at all about lack of sickness. My Mum and Sister had zero sickness with either of their pregnancies. I feel like a bit of a freak for feeling so bad. It feels a bit surreal to me too. I was convinced there would be nothing on the scan but sure enough there it was. It’s normal after a loss to feel a bit detached. I hope time goes quickly between now and your scan. Xx

I am so happy to find this thread- I have had four miscarriages in total, three in the last year, but am also blessed with two happy healthy boys.
I found out this morning I am pregnant, very faint but definite line at CD25,and while I'm delighted am so worried about losing the baby again. I'm now 40 so higher risk too.
It's great to be on a group where people understand- some of the newly pregnant pages are so positive and excited and I don't want to bring anyone down!
Am debating whether to tell my husband yet or if I should leave it a few more days?

Hey @charliehen and congratulations. I’m 40 too so appreciate the extra worry of age. The way I see it plenty of younger people have multiple pregnancy losses so age is not necessarily the reason. I’m now 7 weeks and have just seen the heartbeat so apparently the risks go down at this point. We’re hopeful we’ll get good news at our scan next week. I had a mmc and an early mc straight after earlier in the year. This is our first child as we met late in life.

Personally I’ve told my husband straight away with all three pregnancies as I suffer a lot with symptoms. We’ve had to reorganise our finances so I don’t have to work. I’m full on vomiting now. I guess you might want to wait for the lines to get darker. It’s such an individual choice. Welcome to the thread! Xx

I found that all the way up to 16 weeks I couldn't stop obsessing @sadtoday21 - it's totally normal though and you can't help it. I did find distractions helped with mind control, and would try to go out for walks to break up the day. Music whilst walking is a must, otherwise you might just end up walking around obsessing. Only 3 more days to your scan...not long now. How far on will you be then?

The heat had been fine for me @3204ECL - can't really say I've been out much in the sun and when I have I've been hugging the shade. I have found sleeping really tough and keep waking myself up every hour.

I'm nearing the 23 week mark (I'm 22+4 today). We are in the midst of the last family visit at the moment and I am getting very tired of hosting. Can't wait for Thursday when we are on our own again. Sorry to whine, but it's been a long August for family visits and although I love seeing family, it is hard work, especially when pregnant. We have decided to get another scan next week, nothing booked yet, and I guess it's not been booked down to anxiety. We just want to see how she is developing. We are hoping to visit the hospital today to check out the birthing suite!!! That might make things feel a little real! I need to ring the MW at 2pm and hopefully she has the time to show us around. Exciting but daunting at the same time.

Xxx

@Amanda81 that's so exciting about the birthing suite! Definitely starting to feel more real now for you! Do you have any ideas about your birthing plan or do you feel its still too soon to think about those things? Sorry to hear you are still feeling some anxiety at the 23 week mark, but at least you can get a scan next week and have a chance to see her moving around again! I'll try the walking idea later when it cools down a bit - thanks for the suggestion! I'll be 11+6 at the scan, if all is well, so just about at the 12 week mark. This was the earliest I could be seen for the combined test and nuchal measurement (the sonographer said 11+3 is the earliest, which is today, but they didn't have appointments available until Friday given the bank holiday). I'm really afraid of both the scan and the test! Then it will be another difficult wait for the results.

BTW, when did you ladies all start to show? I feel I have a small bump now, which seems earlier than last time, but maybe just bloating.

@charliehen welcome to the thread and congrats on your new pregnancy! I'm so sorry for your previous losses - all of the ladies on here have had at least one or more MC before and we all understand all too well the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after that. I had an MMC at 12 weeks before and a chemical at around 5 weeks after that. I didn't tell my DH (or anyone) about this new pregnancy until two weeks after I found out myself because I wanted to make sure it was going to stick. That felt like the right choice for me at the time and allowed me to process what was happening, but it was really hard to wait to tell him! I hope you find some peace as your process this very exciting, but anxiety-filled news! Just remember that this is a new pregnancy and everything is different.