Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

@Smiffette I completely recommend an early scan, it's probably worth waiting until your atleast 6 weeks then ring for a same day doctors appt and explain your anxiety.

I've had a really down day today. Really really struggled. I didn't sleep well, think I've got sciatica and on top of the already anxiety and pregnancy insomnia, I think I got about 3 hours. Then I've been cramping badly all day and obviously my head goes straight to a dark place, at one point I was nearly in tears from the intensity. And then I had a meeting at work with a staff member I am in the process of firing which just goes against my nature and is really stressing me.
I cried all the way home and now in bed with my crampy belly and overthinking head :-(

Aw @Puppymum we all have down days and sounds like yours is well justified! Cramps are normal so hopefully everything is fine. Can’t imagine how it must be to fire someone so that sounds horrible. And being at work when your head is elsewhere is tough too. Rest up and tomorrow’s a new day xxx

@Puppymum I’ve been getting cramps the last 2 days and I know what you mean about your head going to the wrong place!

@Puppymum aww I hope you are feeling better today, I know it's horrible when you can't sleep, I'm getting that a lot. Lack of sleep makes me emotional too so then like you, start thinking and going to a bad place if there's any twinges.

I just try and think positive and think each week that passes is a good sign 😀

Hey ladies, sorry I've been a bit absent but to be honest I've been a little scared about getting my combined test results back. Being 40 I was pretty sure I'd get high risk as I know false positives are more common.

My results just came in and I'm literally crying with happiness. It's 1 in 28,681 for downs and 1 in 100,000 for the other two syndromes.

I think I'm happy with those odds and just relieved we don't have the stress of getting the Harmony. Xx

@Amanda81 wonderful to hear from you! Thanks for all the info on your experience - it's really reassuring to hear that you had similar fears at this time. I will be 18 weeks tomorrow, so really surprised I haven't even felt flutters yet (expected this at 16), but did hear baby's hb at the midwife yesterday so hopefully soon. I think you were on holiday when you were about the same number of weeks as I am now and I remember you being anxious as well and having an extra scan or two to check on her. It's so difficult when you feel perfectly normal and don't have movement yet! When did you first buy something for her? I was looking at some cute booties the other day and was so tempted, but I don't want to buy anything before the 20 week scan! Less than two weeks to go now, so hoping to just stay busy and distracted until then. Are you all ready for baby to come now? Have you bought everything, taken any classes, finalised the birth plan? I'm really excited for you! Can't believe how wonderful it is Xxx.

@Catconfusion those are great results, congrats!! That must be a relief not to have to do harmony. Your next scan is next Saturday, right? Will that be the gender scan?

@Kiki061190 I know you understand, the week or so before a scan is always hard. I agree with you though, stepping back from MN for awhile and keeping busy is the best thing to do! There really is nothing we can do either way in the end. How many weeks are you now? Are your symptoms starting to fade?

@Catconfusion that's excellent news, so pleased for you!!

Thanks @Smiffette and @sadtoday21 we are very relieved. Yes we have a scan next Saturday so will hopefully get discharged from EPAU. Xx

@bananamonkey how are you getting on? Xx

@Amanda81 great news about the GD test. I can't believe how far along you are now. I hope the pillow helps with your hips.

I've thankfully started feeling a bit better thanks and now we have such a good 12 week scan and combined test results I'll hopefully relax more. On to the next mile stone which is my 15 week scan at EPAU! Xx

Fantastic news @Catconfusion - whoop whoop 🙌 I bet you are grinning from ear to ear! The pillow has really helped my hips...but has made my purring (yep I've started snoring) worse. My poor DH is now suffering with lack of sleep 😴😂 roll on 15 weeks and your next milestone! When is your due date? I find that having short recesses from MN does help me from wandering on to posts which are a little gloomy...I only come on to check on you guys xx

I found movement in the early days to be really difficult to feel @sadtoday21. As it's our first (and yours) you have the added not knowing of what it should feel like. I think I was probably around 23 weeks when I was properly convinced by the movement (that it was her), but up until that point I was guessing (and hoping) it was her. My DH bought something after the 20 week scan whilst my parents were visiting, some babygrows...I waited for a few weeks after. Something was stopping me, most likely the anxiety. But as soon as I bought her an item of clothing it really helped with flicking that switch to being more positive. We still have quite a bit to get. I am setting little milestones for purchases. At 30 weeks we are buying the travel system, at 32 weeks I will be packing the hospital bags etc. I am thinking of doing a hypnobirthing course...not going to bother with NCT antenatal classes, but will go to the NHS ones in November. I can't believe that it's getting close. When you are good and ready, perhaps after the 20 week scan, you should have a little splurge on buying him an outfit (or two). Once the anxiety reduces, the mind clears and a different kind of panic sets in...crap...the countdown is in reverse now! Have an idea about my birth preferences, but don't want to get too clingy to it, as it is likely not to go to a plan...what will be will be on that score I think xx

Since coming off the patch last August (2018) I had one period which was Feb (2019!) Then I got pregnant but misscarried :( since then my only other period was September just gone.. I'm so irregular, I'm hoping I've caught this month but I just don't know currently 7 dpo (if my apps right) 🤞 so sorry to hear about everyone else loses. Xx

@Catconfusion... what great news! Congratulations ☺️

Hi @Cherrymum4 sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Fingers crossed for you for this cycle x

Guys, question: I’m currently 5 +3. A bit last week and over the weekend I was feeling sick. I had an aversion to sweet things and I generally felt quite sick around mealtimes. I was also getting a fair bit of small pressure feelings in my uterus. I don’t feel like this anymore. I feel completely unpregnant except I’m knackered and I have sore boobs. I’ve gained a cup size already 😂
Sorry, it has taken ages to get to this Q, but do you think the above seems like a bad sign? I have my first scan a week tomorrow. My husband is away and I’m just sitting feeling a bit anxious.
S x

Hey@So12345 - from my own personal experience symptoms come and go in the first trimester and can play havoc with the mind, especially if you have been unlucky to experience MC. I would suggest to keep busy, calm and to try your very best not to read in to anything x

Hi @Amanda81 thanks for your kind advice. I know I read like a hyper anxious/ crazy person, but I guess I am. Last MC was right around now time x

Not crazy at all @So12345 - I've unfortunately been in the same position twice...1st at the 12 week scan and 2nd at 6 weeks. During this pregnancy (I'm now 28+5) it's been incredibly difficult to keep the mind settled, so know exactly how you feel. If I can be of any help...please do ask any questions. I'm not on MN all the time, but do pop on to this thread to check on the ladies who I have been side-by-side with in my journey x

Not crazy at all @So12345 - I've unfortunately been in the same position twice...1st at the 12 week scan and 2nd at 6 weeks. During this pregnancy (I'm now 28+5) it's been incredibly difficult to keep the mind settled, so know exactly how you feel. If I can be of any help...please do ask any questions. I'm not on MN all the time, but do pop on to this thread to check on the ladies who I have been side-by-side with in my journey.

Oh and sore boobs and exhaustion were my two key symptoms x

Thank you @Amanda81 and I’m sorry for your losses. Super exciting how close you are! X

Thanks @So12345 we're so relieved!

Thank you @Amanda81 I feel so much better. Arh poor DH. At least you're getting better sleep. It's so important. My due date is 12th April. I feel Similarly about Mumsnet. It's a great source of support but easy to go down rabbit holes and find very sad stories. I mainly just want to catch-up with you ladies now. Joining new threads can be a minefield. Not long now for you. It sounds like you have everything planned out which is good. I can't wait to get stuff like the hospital bag sorted! Xx

Ah that’s my birthday @Catconfusion. My date is the 20th but dd was a little early so I may get an additional birthday present

Glad your screening results were good. I’m just waiting for mine now. Scan went really well, luckily there wasn’t a horrible moment waiting for a heartbeat as baby appeared on screen and started jumping around straight away. I burst into tears which was embarrassing. Lots of jumping and little yawns which was lovely to see. I’m really worried about the tests but this is the first time I’ve actually felt happy about this pregnancy, I was too scared to before. We’ve told friends and family and that was lovely.

I can’t believe you’ve lasted this long without the pillow @Amanda81 I’ve been dying to get mine out already 😂, glad it’s helping the pain and you’re keeping well x

Arh that's lovely news @Babycakes1989 April is about to get busier!

So great you saw so much movement on the screen. It just blows your mind. We loved seeing baby. It's such an emotional moment. I bet the sonographer sees it all the time. Great you've felt happier and told relatives/friends. I have to say I was pretty nervous about the tests. I was convinced I would get high risk at 40 so to get such low odds was amazing. My results came back yesterday and I only had the test on Friday so you might even have them today or tomorrow. Surely you'd have had a call by now if anything to worry about.

It's such a big mile stone getting the scan and tests done. You've done so well after all you've been through to stay sane. We have an EPAU appointment next Saturday and then the midwife the same week so not long until those. Will you find out the sex or have any more scans? Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion. The scan was Monday and they said I’d get a letter in about a week so hopefully today’s the last day I’d get a call if it was bad news. If it’s all good I will tell work next week and book my flu jab. And get my maternity stuff out of the loft, I can’t remember what I have.

I’m not sure about more scans, last time I waited till 20 weeks but think I’ll see how I feel in a month’s time if I’m getting anxious again as 2nd Dec is a long time to wait. We will find out the sex, if only to know what I can do with all of DD’s clothes! The vests and sleepsuits are all pretty gender neutral but I have bags and bags of girl clothes taking up the loft, they grow out of stuff far too quickly.

My next MW appointment isn’t for a month now so there’s a bit of a lull but look forward to being able to talk about it when I see people now.

Sorry I think I somehow tagged the last person. It will be lovely to get the maternity stuff out @bananamonkey We were told a week but got a letter after three working days so maybe you'll get it sooner.

It sounds like a good plan to see how you feel. We're just going to wait and see. With EPAU at 15 weeks and midwife soon after it's not so long to wait. My husband is keen to wait it out.

It's just so nice isn't it to talk openly and not feel as apprehensive. Xx

The screening results came today, it’s low risk although the numbers are a bit higher that I’d like (1 in 4500 and 1 in 19,000) but think that’s just me worrying too much. Will try not to fret about it.

Hi everyone,
I had a MMC back in April and am now pregnant at 14 weeks. Constantly worrying, fairly regularly waking up in the night from MC nightmares. Just wondering if anyone has any advice/suggestions about keeping the constant anxiety at bay. Can I get some kind of heartbeat monitor to check the baby every time I get worried, or does that not work this early?

Those are great results @bananamonkey! Congrats!! I understand you would want even lower risk, but these are great numbers and I hope you can relax a bit more now.

@Eclogite you can buy a doppler online and it should pick up the hb at 14-16 weeks, but most midwives don't recommend this as it can be hard to find the hb at first, causing more anxiety. I personally wanted to buy a doppler, but decided instead to go see my midwife every two weeks so she can check the hb for me (she was happy to do this thankfully). Could you ask your midwife?