Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hi @Catconfusion - I'm fairly open about the form of delivery. As long as she arrive safely I don't really mind. It's strange how a couple of years or even a year of age can make all the difference in care and decision making you get. I will almost be 39 when (not if) I deliver my baby, yet I am considered low risk currently. I might be in denial about the whole thing, but the birth doesn't scare me. I worry about complications during the birth, but I tell myself that I won't be the first or the last woman to give birth and we are made to do this...

Pleased to hear that your sickness is reducing. It can't have been easy for you over the last 7-8weeks. I hope you have a symptom free 2nd trimester! Xx

@Amanda81 Hi! Only 13 weeks to go! Wow! You must be so excited! I have my 12 week scan next Thursday afternoon and I’m nervous.

@sadtoday21 I know I can’t believe it’s only 10 days now until my scan! I’m so nervous tho, just hope baby is ok.

@Catconfusion They must be so excited for their first grandchild! How has the sickness been? My nausea is starting to die down a little!

I agree @Amanda81 it’s a completely different experience being pregnant at 40 even compared with 39. As soon as I rang the midwife she was checking I’m on aspirin. Also first time around I was told to just book in with the midwife and wait for the 12 week scan. This time I was told the doctor would want to see me and I’m getting fortnightly scans at EPAU. I know that’s largely down to mmc but I’m not sure they’d be scanning me so much if I was younger. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great but also unfair for people approaching 40.

I’ve been marked as low risk too but I think the arthritis is the biggest concern. I was told I’d need a bilateral hip replacement by 40. I’ve hung on and my hips are doing great but pregnancy might be the final nail in the coffin. The problem is the hormones loosen ligament so in labour I could easily put a hip out of joint or damage the already thin cartilage. The midwife said they don’t like to let over 40s go much over the due date so combined with my hips a C section makes sense.

The midwife said the risk of complication is still very low despite my age. I’ve seen plenty of people younger have complications and older people no problems at all. I get the impression there are often pre existing issues before a serious complication like pre eclampsia or gestational diabetes. Even those issues can be treated and managed.

I think you have the right attitude. Plenty of ladies have given birth and serious complications are pretty rare. Even if something does happen the outcome will generally be good. My friend had a complication and she was absolutely fine.

Yes it’s been exhausting and I’m only 11 weeks in so I really long way to go. I really hope I get a second wind and feel more normal soon! Xx

@Kiki061190 still pretty sick unfortunately. Also the drug I’m taking has been withdrawn in the states due to cancer fears. There’s been no statement in the UK about it yet so I’m not sure what to do. I might call the doctor. I’m not sure I can get through the day without it. I’m still feeling rough but I’m now able to get out of bed and potter around. It’s just never simple. Glad your nausea is subsiding. Xx

@Amanda81 yes, will share it if we find out! I don’t know where my placenta is tbh, they never mentioned it at the scans. It seems people generally feel some flutters by 16 weeks so I’m really just hoping for that at this stage, not expecting actual kicks yet. Just want to know that she’s still ok in there. I’m sure the worry never stops though! I read a lot about kick counting and I definitely see myself going in several times if any reduced movement. So even though I really want movement to start ASAP, I know there will be other moments of anxiety ahead. Xxx

Hi ladies, I think I need to join you... I just got a call from the EPU saying my GP had notified them of my pregnancy and they want to see me for a 6 week scan next Friday and to prescribe me Clexane (although I’ve already started taking it so that was a bit weird). I didn’t expect that at all, and although I’m pleased I’ll get an early scan, since I took the call I’m all panicky. I found out about my last miscarriage at my 12 week scan (after a positive 8 week scan) so they are a bit of a trigger for me, as I’m sure they are for some of you too. How do you manage this? I’m all nervous, shaky etc and I know I’m going to be terrified when it comes to it next week

Hey @TwinkleStars15 great news about the scan. I can appreciate you’re nervous. I suspect the scan you have round about when the baby stopped developing last time will be the hardest.

Just remember it’s a completely different pregnancy. It’s highly unlikely to pan out in the same way. Just keep busy between scans and try and stay positive. The outcome has probably already been decided and its likely to be positive. All you can do is ride it out and try and stay calm. I really hope all is ok! Xx

@Catconfusion How has your tummy been? I feel like mines is delicate again! I was just randomly sick after feeling fine the last few days. Can’t believe our scans are next week!!!

@Kiki061190 sorry to hear you've not been well again. I'm struggling if I'm honest. I was really ill yesterday and just got very upset with DH before he went to work. The doctor has given me a different drug to try so I'm hoping it works because I'm not able to do much at all.

I know the scan has come round so quickly. I can't wait to get it over and done with. I'm sure it will be a lot of fun seeing baby all being well. I loved seeing all the movement at the last scan. It was so cute. Xx

@Catconfusion Felt awful this morning but managed to pull myself together for work and feeling much better now. Heading home to bed almost every night after work! So shattered! How have you been? Has the other drug worked at all?

I know what you mean about the scan. I’m hoping we have lots of good news next week!

@Kiki061190 sorry you had a difficult start to the day. Great news you felt better later on.

I think it will take a couple of days for the new medication to kick in. I've not been able to get up or get dressed. The more I try and do the worse I feel. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Xx

Gosh it sounds your hips are going to need monitoring @Catconfusion - when the ligaments start to relax due to the relaxin hormone you will need to be extra careful! My pelvis is already started to ache at night, when I turn over in bed I hear a big click on my pelvis as it gets out of align (which is apparently normal with PGP). I really hope you don't get any problems with this...as you've had enough to go on with in the first trimester.

It's totally pants that you are having a rough time @Kiki061190 - nothing worse that exhaustion and nausea at the same time.

You're right @sadtoday21 - there's always anxiety, no matter what. I booked a last minute scan on Tuesday night as I couldn't shake the anxiety...she was looking very healthy, measuring to the date (bang on) and looks beautiful and almost human looking. They gave me a little 4D image of her face on a fridge magnet which I can't stop glaring at! We have a 4D scan booked next Thursday evening where we can have footage of the video, we are doing this so that my parents get to see her as we are traveling home the weekend after next, which will be last family visit of the year before she comes (as it's such a long way to travel). My parents have never seen a scan before! I think I've seen too many!

Xx

Wow @Amanda81 she's beautiful. What a little angel. I can imagine all the stress and anxiety is beginning to feel worth it.

Thanks for the advice regarding the hips. At our first scan I'm seeing the consultant as we're having consultant led care. There's a strong chance I have passed on my hip problem to the baby as well so we'll both need monitoring. Annoyingly as I've been so ill I've not managed to do much exercise so I've probably put on more weight than I would have liked. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I'm hoping to start yoga classes at 14 weeks so hopefully that will help build my strength up.

Enjoy the 4D scan next week. It sounds mind blowing! Xx

@Amanda81 she's absolutely gorgeous! What an incredible photo. I really understand now that the anxiety never goes away, not after any amount of scans! It's a shame, but I hope you are also able to enjoy the pregnancy in between the moments of anxiety as much as possible. It's so wonderful that you have another scan booked for next week with video! That will be really special and sharing it with your family even more so. Not long to go now! Thinking of you Xxx.

Hope you are feeling better @Kiki061190 - one week left to go for the 12 week scan, right? What day is it?

@Catconfusion really hope the medicine kicks in soon and you have mended things with DH now. I know it's been hard, but you are almost done with the first trimester and doing so well!

Well I am 16 weeks today, finally. It feels like its been an eternity since my 12 week scan. I heard the hb at the midwife again on Tuesday - it was a trainee who tried to do it first and she couldn't find it so I started panicking until the experienced midwife took over and found it easily. I told them how anxious I was, I don't think they should have let the trainee practice on me like that! Anyway, tomorrow is my first private scan and I'm really really nervous. Been managing to stay off MN and stop thinking about it in the past few days because I've been really busy with work, but now the anxiety is fully back.

Thanks @sadtoday21 things are fine with DH. I was very tearful yesterday morning because I felt so ill and he was very sweet and looked after me as he always does. I'm feeling a bit better so I think the medication is helping. I even managed to cook an egg on toast for breakfast. Haven't done that in many weeks.

Amazing news you're 16 weeks. I think it's bad they let a trainee have a try with the heartbeat considering your anxiety. Good all was well. I hope you get on ok at the scan. I'm sure you will. It's very exciting that you'll hopefully know the sex soon. Xx

@Amanda81 What a beautiful scan picture! ♥️

@sadtoday21 Scan is in 6 days and I’m officially nervous 😩 I thought you may have taken a wee break for anxiety which is totally understandable.

Wow amazing picture @Amanda81!

Hope all you ladies are well and have lovely weekends planned x

I know what you mean about lack of exercise @Catconfusion - my PGP kills me after doing 30 minutes of walking. I hope I don't run out of steam when d-day comes. I'm lucky that I haven't put much weight on, fluctuating between 6-8 pounds weight gain.

The anxiety is an odd one @sadtoday21 - it never has gone away for me, but since 21/22 weeks I can honestly say that I have been enjoying the pregnancy. But since last weekend it sneaked up on me and kicked me up the bum. By Tuesday I just woke up and said to DH we are going for s scan as I didn't want to get consumed again. You will be absolutely fine tomorrow and I am really looking forward to hearing your news (really hope they can get a good potty shot).

Thanks @Kiki061190 and @bananamonkey

I'm 27 weeks today and I have snoozed on the sofa between 4 and 6...looks like the tiredness is returning...joy!

Xx

Had the gender scan today! I was so nervous and when I saw the hb I started sobbing uncontrollably! I didn’t cry at the 12 week scan, but this one I couldn’t help it. I thought I was 16+1 based on the dating scan, but baby was measuring ahead at 16+2. And we are having a baby boy!! 🎊

I was really shocked because I was convinced it was a girl, but definitely a boy! I’m thrilled either way, but my FIL (father-in-law) was putting a lot of pressure on me and DH (darling husband) to have a girl, so his side of the family is a bit disappointed with our news unfortunately. I wish they weren’t so set on a girl, as it probably influenced me a bit and I don’t like feeling that they are let down. But honestly I’m just happy he’s still alive and looking so cute! He even smiled at us and put both his hands over his ears. The 3D scan was also incredible and the sonographer was really nice. I found out I have an anterior placenta - I think you also had that @Amanda81 or @3204ECL? So that’s probably why I haven’t felt movement yet, hopefully soon!

Oh wow @sadtoday21 I bet it made all the anxiety and waiting totally worth it. Congratulations on your son. Don't worry about the family expectations. I can't believe they've made you feel this way. They should just be happy for you.

Anyway ignore them and celebrate your lovely news. I think it's fantastic. It's so good you saw so much detail and even a smile.

I'm so glad you're feeling better and have the reassurance of this scan. Xx

Omggggggg @sadtoday21 a boy! Congratulations! He is going to be a dream ♥️ Ignore anyone else! This is about you and your DH and this little one will be so loved!

@Catconfusion How have you been feeling?

OooooooMmmmmmmmmGgggggg @sadtoday21 - fantastic news! A boy! Yey! So very happy 😃 for you both! Amazing news xxxx

@sadtoday21 amazing news on your scan and congratulations on a baby boy! 💙💙💙 I also have an anterior placenta which does mean it can take longer to feel the movement! I started feeling flutters at around 18 weeks and then proper movement between 19 and 20

Sorry for being so useless lately I've been so busy and struggling to keep up with the thread!

@Amanda81 what a beautiful scan photo 💕 I've also been having some discomfort in my hips at night but have started antenatal Pilates now and have found it really helps! I've bought a ball so I can do some of the exercises at home as well and it's been game changer with my sleep!

@Catconfusion and @Kiki061190 so sorry you have both been struggling with sickness and @Catconfusion with hip pain. How many weeks are you both now?

I'm 21+6 today and doing well! Bump is getting big but I'm really loving it now and my anxiety has definitely reduced since I've been able to feel him.

xxx

Ah fantastic @sadtoday21 💙💙💙 Sorry your family were disappointing but honestly what difference does it make, a lovely little baby is all that matters x x

I had anterior placenta first time round and I didn’t feel anything till after 20 weeks, but then she more than made up for it with constant hiccups. It’ll be lovely when you feel him soon

@3204ECL Hi! Wow I can’t believe that’s how far along you are already! How amazing! I am 11 weeks now and scan is in 4 days which I am super nervous about 😔

Hi, I'm a bit late to the party but may I join?

I'm 9w tomorrow and have pretty much convinced myself that it's not going well. Had a miscarriage at 7w in May and missed miscarriage 4years ago prior to my ds.

I've had no bleeding just lots of random pains a twinges but I don't feel super terrible, I was so teary with ds1 that I was signed off for stress. It just seems to easy.

I'd go for a private scan but I'm too scared that they'll tell me it's a bother miss and I'll have to spend two weeks waiting for hell to start again. I just don't think I have the strength.

This it's torture it's like Shrodingers cat!

Has anyone else felt like this?