Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

@Kiki061190 I honestly don’t think maternity jeans jinx anything. Its a matter of comfort. My jeans haven’t fit since 6 weeks. The hormones and the sickness have made me very swollen. I’ve needed maternity bras as well due to going from a DD to an F cup. I think I’m an exception in looking so pregnant so early but just consider what you need right now. If you’re uncomfortable get some maternity jeans. They are sooo comfy. The way I look at it, yes it’s not nice if something goes wrong and you’re wearing maternity stuff but we want a baby so would try again. Therefore I’ve now got some basics. I’ve not bought too much and probably won’t until 20 weeks if I can help it. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about wearing stuff I bought the first time but it’s been fine. I’m just pleased to be comfy! Xx

@Kiki061190 I liked stuff from H&M, New Look and Topshop although I found the in-store ranges pretty limited so look online. ASOS has tonnes of stuff too. I preferred the over-bump style but everyone is different.

I was pregnant over summer last time so (providing it still goes ok) may need some new stuff. I’m desperate to get my special pillow down from the loft but as ridiculous as it sounds it feels like a jinx at the moment so if all’s well after the scan I’ll get DH to get my clothes down at the same time so I can see what I’ve got as I can’t really remember.

Ladies I got some amazing cord maternity dungarees from ASOS. They are completely adjustable so will fit throughout and after too. Also fit perfectly now when on the smallest button.
www.asos.com/bandia/bandia-maternity-cord-dungarees/prd/10377009?clr=black&colourWayId=15114503&SearchQuery=dungarees

They look fab @Catconfusion!

@bananamonkey they are fab. I have 30 inch legs and they’re a little short but plenty of fabric to take the hem down. I went for a size 10. I’ve been wearing 10/12 since pregnant, usually size 10. They fit well!

So ladies, look who we saw today...Measuring 10 plus 5 and everything is totally normal. We had waving arms and kicking legs today. Also saw the feet and hands. Baby has doubled in size. We’re so in love. I had a tummy scan today which was nicer.

Sickness has lessoned a bit on the new meds but I was still sick this morning. It’s generally less unpleasant though.

We’re going to celebrate by taking advantage of our national trust membership and having the afternoon out. I just hope I’m not sick.

Hope you’re all having a nice sunny day! Xx

Congratulations @Catconfusion good news stories are what we all need

We also saw our baby again today. Now measuring 9w6d, still 5 days ahead of lmp so on track with the last scan. Heartbeat strong and wriggling around. I have more photos to hide in the drawer but maybe... Maybe this time it'll be OK?!?!

Thank you @Puppymum and congratulations to you too. It’s so hard after loss and I completely understand hiding the pictures for now. You’re out of the biggest danger zone so your chances are very good. Fingers crossed for us both! Xx

@Catconfusion I just got out of work and that’s made me smile! Just so delighted for you 😘♥️ You seem so happy also! Not long until your 12 week scan. I’m also feeling a lot better sick wise! Although appetite isn’t great, but still managing to eat. Thanks for the link! I’m definitely going to order some bits once we have the 12 week scan. Fingers crossed all is ok for me, then we’ll literally be days apart in due dates! Will be so fab!

@Puppymum Congrats! So chuffed for you ♥️ We’re all so close in due dates!!!

Thank you @Kiki061190 its so reassuring to get to this point. We just had a lovely walk around a stately home to celebrate. I'm exhausted now but I wasn't sick. DH is out tonight so I might have an early night with the new Margaret Atwood book.

It's lovely to be so close in due dates. I'm close to @bananamonkey too. Being both in Norwich we might even end up in hospital at the same time. This thread will be amazing with all the baby news next March/April and @Amanda81 in December. It's just so lovely to share this journey together! xx

Can I ask, when did you ladies book in with the midwife after finding out you were pregnant? I only found out 2 days ago but I feel like ‘booking in’ is tempting fate...am I being silly? If I feel so anxious already, I don’t know what I’ll be like as the weeks go on! Did any of you wait a while?

Congratulations on the lovely scans @Puppymum and @Catconfusion! So nice to see little wriggly babies!

@TwinkleStars15 I felt exactly the same, my surgery prefer to see you once you get to 8 weeks, I know they get booked up quickly so I called at 6 weeks to book for when I’d be 9 weeks as I was on holiday in between, even though I thought something would go wrong in the meantime.

@catconfusion congrats on a lovely scan

@TwinkleStars15 I did wait out of pure anxiety, only rang and booked midwife after my 7 week scan. Realistically my anxiety would probably make me do the same again, but if you can bring yourself to, book it. There were no appointments left for me until I will be 11 weeks. So my 12 week scan might be delayed and I don't have anymore reassurance scans now.
This next wait will be the worst for me as I found out there were potential problems with my first pregnancy at the 12 week scan so any delay will be an eternity.

@Puppymummy and @Bananamonkey thank you for your replies. I s’pose it would be best to phone Monday, I need to change GP surgery too so that could delay things...

Congrats again @Catconfusion!

@TwinkleStars15 I also thought this way, but honestly it's better to just get it done asap. I wanted to ask for an early scan and also didn't want any delays with my 12 week scan this time, so actually had the booking appt. at 6 weeks! I hated it and hated getting the blue folder as was really scared, but it allowed me to have scans which I really needed. Good luck!

There's some lovely positivity going on in this thread 🥰

I'm glad everyone's scans and appts have been ticking along nicely, and knowing baby bumps popping out too eek 😁

I ended up going private for a reassurance scan, my mind just couldn't settle.

I actually managed to book an appointment with a consultant gynae/pregnancy doctor and he performed the ultrasound.

Turned out I was a lot earlier than expected - I was 5w6d compared to the 7/8 weeks (Pcos meant that it was all a guessing game)
But we got to see the sack, yoke, pole and even the fluttering heartbeat, was really shocked to see if so early considering it's the size of an orange pip!

I've got midwife booked in for Tuesday, terrified of going as it makes it seem a bit more real :(

@Catconfusion Glad you managed a walk around. Hope you had a fab Sunday.

@TwinkleStars15 I phoned and did a self referral at 6 weeks because I felt the same as you about tempting fate. I had my booking app on Wednesday this week.

@TeapotsLoveYouLots Awww amazing! How fabulous to see a HB at this stage!!! You must be chuffed!

Arh thank you @Kiki061190 it was lovely. DH took some photos of me because there were none so far in this pregnancy. The first time we took pictures with the positive test and a couple of bump pictures. I can’t even look at those now so been putting off pictures just in case. Xx

Fantastic news on your scan @TeapotsLoveYouLots PCOS makes the dating so hard. I have it mildly but was tracking so I know this baby was conceived on day 32. It’s still been tough making healthcare professionals believe I’m two weeks behind. The wrong due date is on my notes as they get so attached to the LMP date. I’m hoping this will change after the dating scan. Xx

@sadtoday21 how are you feeling today? No we’ve not really done much nursery planning. DH laid some wooden flooring rather than carpet but I think we’ll hold off. With me not working money is a concern so it probably will be something we sort later. We’re thinking a space theme would be nice. I’d love to pain the ceiling dusky blue with glow in the dark stars. I want to go for something nice and chilled. Xx

We’re told a few people since the scan on Saturday. Has anyone else noticed the reaction is so much more negative than the first time round? They say things like: I hope nothing goes wrong this time or fingers crossed this time. Someone also said hopefully this time you’ll actually be blessed with a baby. I’ve found it difficult hearing these things as we’re no more likely to have a problem because we lost a pregnancy before. I know people are just trying to show their support and acknowledge the anxiety we’re feeling but it would be nice to hear more excitement. They tend to pause when we tell them and are a lot more awkward about what to say. Anyway rant over. I just can’t wait until that 12 week scan is done! Xx

@Catconfusion Oh I’ve definitely noticed people are more cautious with what they say! My OH parents are trying not to talk about it at all. My mum is super positive though, that’s just her nature. She’s so excited and even has our scan photo as her screen saver 😂 I’m like you, scan next week and just wanting it to be here so I can know if we’re out of the dangers zone!

Hi everyone. I've had a break from MN for a while as I was dealing with some of my own anxiety, which was mainly triggered by hearing other people's sad stories...a break has done me good I think, but you're never quite sure when it will surface again. I'm so pleased to hear that everyone is doing so well, and welcome to the new folk on the thread. I have read the last few days or so of posts, so have missed a chunk of the conversation...apologies if I have missed anything crucial.

It's nice that the majority of you are due around the same time and are experiencing similar pregnancy events at the same time.

Lovely scan images @Catconfusion - not long now till your 12 week scan! It's so very nice that the epu are offering you such care.

I'm 26+3 today. Amazing! The countdown has flipped the other way now, where we are saying only 13 weeks to go! Scary to think that she will be here soon. I can't wait to hold her in my arms. Only a couple more weeks before I enter the 3rd trimester. Eeekkkk! In terms of pregnancy symptoms I've had some pain related symptoms, these being PGP and pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome. I've learnt how to manage these (just), but the carpal tunnel is the worst as it's quite debilitating. I do wonder if I was younger would I be getting these issues...but apparently both are quite common in all ages. She is currently laying transverse lie. She still has a couple of weeks to move head down before the MW starts booking in scans etc...but as she is in the position she is in I get a lot of movement low down as that's where her feet are. If she doesn't move and can't be moved it's looking like an ECS for me, but there is time yet for all to change.

Do let me know how you are all going...it would be nice to see recent updates.

Love and hugs to all xx

Hi @Amanda81, great to hear from you! I'm so pleased that you are doing so well and I figured that you were probably taking a break for anxiety. This is something I also need to do from time to time, especially after reading stories of later losses, which has been a huge trigger for me recently. I can't believe you only have 13 weeks to go! Hope all the movement is regular now and that your carpel tunnel syndrome improves and/or that you can find a good way to manage the pain. Have you thought more yet about the birth or prepared for what happens next? So excited for you! Xxx

@3204ECL how are you doing these days? Hope all is well!

@Kiki061190 I'm so glad you have your scan in just a week, I know its really frightening but you will feel better once it is over. Glad to hear that your mum and OH are so supportive!

@Catconfusion I really sympathised with what you said about people's reactions, it is the worst when they are not excited like you hope. My sister barely said anything about the pregnancy and hasn't asked me a single question this whole time. And she didn't even say happy birthday to me a few weeks ago! The rest of the family is very excited, but to tbh sometimes I wish they would recognise how anxious I am and that it's not all a walk in the park. I love your idea for a nursery, very cute! We don't have an extra room or money for one, so the baby crib will just be going next to my desk while I work on my DPhil, but I've got some French Babar baby posters stashed away that I bought years ago that I might put up, if the baby is ok.

@Jesskir89 sorry I meant to say welcome to the thread earlier and I'm so sorry for your previous loss. Pregnancy is so hard after mc and you had a particular difficult experience. Anyway I remember you from lurking on the March boards and I think we are both due in March! Have you felt any movement yet? I think you are the only one on here around the same time as me, so would be great to have a bump buddy :).

Welcome to all the other newcomers too and I'm sorry for anyone I might have missed! I was traveling a bit and not fully caught up on the thread yet. But the ladies here are the most supportive and have really helped me through a lot of dark times.

As for me, I'm 15+3 today. When other people said this before I thought they were so lucky and over the worst of anxiety, but in fact my anxiety seems to be worse than ever now. I think you just have so much more too lose as time goes on and now I've really started worrying about the 20 week scan. Even though I heard the hb two weeks ago, I'm nervous again and will go tomorrow to the midwife to see if she can hear it. I'm terrified that maybe she won't this time! I'm planning on getting a scan on Saturday at 16+1, also terrified of that but will be slightly better if I hear the hb tomorrow. Wish me luck! Otherwise, boobs seem to be more sore than ever in the second trimester - normal? And I've now gained 2 kg since my pre-pregnancy weight, which I think (hope) is mostly in enormous boobs, bump, and hair. Anyone else gaining yet? I want to be sure to do it slowly because, even though I started off slim with a normal BMI, its usually hard for me to lose weight in general. And there is nothing more that I want right now than to feel some flutterings, but as hard as I try to pay attention nothing so far :/.

Happy Monday everyone!

Great to hear from you @Amanda81 wow 13 weeks to go. That’s amazing news. It sounds like a break from MN has done you good. It’s so hard not to feel shaken by other people’s stories.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had the carpel tunnel. Sounds really difficult to deal with. I’m glad you’re managing. I hope baby moves in the next couple of weeks so you have the option of natural delivery.

I’m seeing the consultant next week when I have my official 12 week scan and I’m expecting to be C section. I have arthritis in my hips plus being 40 as risk factors. I do find the idea of natural birth quite scary. It’s a phobia I’ve always had since a child but if it was best for baby and me I’d do it.

I’ve wondered would I feel better if I was younger but I guess plenty of young women have difficult pregnancies. The sickness has been relentless and I’m already exhausted at only 11 weeks. It’s luckily easing a bit now so hopefully my energy levels will build up again. I hope your due date comes as quickly as possible! Xx

@Kiki061190 so sweet your mum has the scan picture as her screensaver. I think pregnancy after loss is unexplored territory for most people. They just don’t know how to deal with it. Our parents are all being quite positive. I think as we’re 40 they’re just excited about finally having a grandchild from us. The friends we’ve told so far have had mixed reactions. I just think it’s a shame because without loss everyone would just be excited for us rather than cautious. Anyway it is what is is and we are lucky to have so many people caring about it, even if they’re not sure how to express it! Xx

Hey @sadtoday21 - it's great to hear from you and wow you are almost 16 weeks. I'm looking forward to hearing about your scan on Saturday...will you share the news of the sex if you find out? I would like to say that the movements are regular, generally she is moving around the same time each day, but she has days where she is very still. One of those days was yesterday. She was still moving, but it was less than usual. I've had a few days where I have experienced this so have assumed that this is part of her pattern. But it's so hard to resist ringing the epu. Today I wok at 6am with her kicking me in the bladder (almost on que) and has been fairly active for the morning.

Feeling movement for the first time is very special, I can't wait for you to feel your first flutter. I was probably around 17-18 weeks when I felt my first...do you know where your placenta is? As this can impact the feeling of movement. Xx