Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

OMG @Catconfusion @bananamonkey I thought I was going insane thinking I had a little tummy. I am petite but quite hourglass, I’ve always had quite a flat stomach tho and I’m feeling self conscious as I’m feeling like I continuously look bloated despite the fact I’ve barely ate these last two weeks! Glad to know I’m not the only one. My booking in app is on Wednesday next week.

@kiki061190 I’m wondering if it’s because we’ve been pregnant before. Although I was pretty big the first time. That’s another reason it was shocking it was a mmc as I had a definite bump. It feels to me like the hormones store fat on the tummy to protect the baby. Xx

Good to hear from you @bananamonkey and wishing you luck getting that scan booked in!

Totally agree on all the bump comments - I'm much bigger this time around! I haven't broke down and bought maternity clothes just yet, but I also think its obvious in anything remotely tight! I can't really tell the difference between bloat and bump tbh, it all seems pretty firm to me, although I know some must be bloat still.

I’ve just looked back at old pictures and my tummy is the same size as it looked at 17 weeks first time Your muscles definitely remember! I too had a bump with the MC which didn’t appear till after baby stopped growing so think there’s something in the hormones. Also I am a little, ahem, chunkier than I’d like after a lot of comfort eating this year. Have dug out my old PT meal plans so will try to stick to those for a few weeks. My MW appointment is Wednesday too @Kiki061190

@Catconfusion I swear I never had a bump before and I was pregnant with twins! This time I’m definitely showing something but I’m trying to not let that give me confidence that this pregnancy is ok.

@bananamonkey Haha I’m chunkier too which is annoying! Yay for being the same day for our booking apps.

I had a missed miscarriage 4 months ago, only found out at the 13 WK scan & had to have a D&C. I've just found out I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. I'm feeling twinges on my left side just below belly button.. also when I pull my tummy in.. so of course I'm extremely nervous & worried.. is this normal? As I never got anything like this last time. I understand being in the right side is normal.. but the left? Any off you ladies experience anything similar?*

@Kiki061190 such a shame you can’t enjoy showing and have confidence in the pregnancy. Mmc is just so cruel. Hope you’re feeling better. If not I hope you can take some time off. Xx

@Lauraloop4 I’m so sorry for your loss. How horrible to find out so late. I was 10 weeks and the baby measured 6. This was bad enough and such a shock when everything felt ok.

I’ve had lots of crampy pulling type pains on and off since I found out I was pregnant. They were on both sides. It can be completely normal. Even some spotting may be just the implantation. As long as there’s no full on bleeding it’s probably just everything expanding. Will you go for an early reassurance scan this time? It might ease your mind a bit. I’ve had 3 so far and I’m 10 weeks. Everything is looking great and although I’m still a bit anxious I have a bit more confidence it’s going well.

I’ve been getting pain in the butt over the last few days. It’s quite sharp but I have ibs so figure it could be related to that. Everything expands at such a quick rate in the first trimester it’s impossible to know what twinges are other than part of the body preparing for baby growing. Xx

@catconfusion yes I was the same thinking I was 13 weeks but only measured 6, and also with no signs, so of course now I'm aware of every twinge & pull I'm straight onto Google which I know is the worst thing I can do!!

The doctor wasn't much help, just said she's wrote my notes down and wait for midwife which can be weeks away, so I may just go and pay for a scan.. was your through the midwife or did you pay private for your 3 scans? I think I'll wait till I'm 6 weeks for my first scan incase any earlier is to early to see anything?

This morning I've woke up feeling better after reading this, thank you!! I've read somewhere that we feel more after a miscarriage so at the moment I'm putting it down to that x

It’s just baffling isn’t it @Lauraloop4 I also have hyperemesis in pregnancy so was very ill too. It’s usually a good sign. I am however even worse with this pregnancy so I’ve not been able to do much. I do wish I could keep busy to pass the time but I’ve been bed bound with sickness.

My scans have all been through the GP and Early pregnancy unit. I had a suspected cyst so my first one just coincided with finding out I was pregnant. I was only 4 weeks but the sac was seen and normal. After that my GP referred me to the Early pregnancy unit. I was 6 weeks and 3 days when I was seen with a strong and steady heartbeat. They agreed to see me every two weeks until I’m 16 weeks. My next scan was at 8 plus 5 and we saw the brain developing, the arm and leg buds. All looking normal. We’ll go again next week when I’ll be 10 plus 5 and then we’ll have the dating scan the week after.

It varies area to area but it’s worth asking your GP for an early reassurance scan due to your history. If they say no call your early pregnancy unit and ask if you can be seen. Sometimes they can speak to your GP and get a referral on your behalf. 7 weeks is the best time to go as there will definitely be a heartbeat. We went a little earlier as my midwife wanted me to have the scan before our booking in. Luckily all was well. I can’t imagine waiting until the dating scan as we’ve had so much reassurance from early scans. The only down side is we’re really attached to the baby now so if something goes wrong we’ll be beside ourselves. Luckily the chances are very good if a heartbeat is seen at 8/9 weeks and all looks healthy.

It’s perfectly natural to worry after such a traumatic event. Just rest assured twinges are all normal, especially if baby is growing ok. Try to relax and get as much rest as you can! Xx

@Catconfusion I know I hate being so negative and not allowing myself to believe we will have a baby to take home in April. My OH bought a little baby grow for us and surprised me with it. It’s just the sweetest thing! But I’ve tucked it away and am trying to forget it exists for the time being. He’s so excited!

@Kiki061190 it's so hard to be positive though. It's just an ongoing battle after losing a pregnancy. That's very sweet of your OH to get something for the baby. It's nice to have a bit of hope. I've tucked away the baby suits DH got us. They are so cute but I don't feel I can completely believe it'll be ok yet. We've just got to hang on in there. My 12 week scan is 4th October. We got the letter today. I have a scan next week at EPAU so I think if that goes ok then I feel more confident about the dating scan. Then its getting through the screening tests. It just never ends. I don't think I'll completely believe I'm having this baby until I'm about 30 weeks. xx

Ladies I'm so glad I found this thread, although I'm so sorry that so many of us have been through the agonies if mc & mmc .

I found out unexpectedly that I'm pregnant on Wednesday.
I say unexpected although I should explain that I'm on fertility treatment, but the cycle that I seemed to have caught on I wasn't able to take my clomid due to a mix up at the gp/hospital.

It's my third lot if fertility treatment, my first in 2010

Poop posted too soon 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

My first treatment In 2010 gave me DD, my second round of treatment in 2015 ended in MMC.
It was an awful experience with missing notes, 2 weeks of going back and forth the hospital, different drs stating it's fine or it's a confirmed mmc, eventually ending up with an ERPC and me having a mental breakdown 😞

So I thought I had enough courage to try again with treatment this year but now I've got a positive test I'm freaking out.
I'm terrified that it's going to be a mmc again, that every time I go to the toilet I'm checking myself to see if something has started.

I'm roughly between 6/7 weeks, I have no idea as I was just waiting for my period to start the next cycle of clomid.

I'm sorry for rambling, I don't even know why I'm posting, I just needed to get it out somewhere

Hey @TeapotsLoveYouLots and I’m sorry to hear about your mmc. It really is awful and it sounds like you were messed around a lot which doesn’t help. I can well believe it would be traumatic enough to lead to a breakdown. I’m really sorry you had to go through that too.

I would say it would be a good idea to see your GP and see if you can be referred for an early reassurance scan. This will give you some reassurance your pregnancy is progressing normally. Just remember this is a completely new pregnancy so your chances are good. I’d say with your history there should be grounds to go to your local Early Pregnancy Unit. If any problems you could call them directly and ask if you can be seen. In the mean time there’s lots of support on this thread. Xx

Welcome @Lauraloop4 and @TeapotsLoveYouLots! I'm so sorry for your previous losses and wishing you the best for this pregnancy. I agree with @Catconfusion, it's best to get an early scan if you can - either at the EPAU or private.

@Catconfusion wishing you the best of luck for your scan this week!

@Kiki061190 sorry to hear you are anxious, but just remember that nothing we can do will change the outcome. It's so hard, but you are almost at that 12 week scan which is a huge milestone! Thinking of you xxx.

Well I've had a bit of terrible weekend tbh. I have to preface this all with saying that I'm feeling more hormonal of late and not a totally good judge of whether my emotions are in check. Anyway, it was my birthday and DH was supposed to take me out to celebrate (my idea of course, not his, because he never plans anything grrr), but then he showed up mad to the theatre and ruined the whole evening. He was mad because I spent the day at yoga and lunch with a friend, even though he knew this well in advance and didn't have a problem with it at the time (nor did he plan anything special for the day anyway). I just thought we would have a nice theatre outing and dinner afterwards to celebrate and keep it low-key. But he barely spoke to me at the theatre and then marched right past the restaurant and announced we were going to Tesco instead to make tacos at home. Fine. I don't really care about birthdays that much. But he wanted me to apologise to him for spending the day with my friend and then when I said he was working anyway and hadn't planned anything for the day he lied and said he had a surprise dinner reservation that I had missed because I was out. I said ok, I'm sorry, show me the dinner reservation or the fact you called the restaurant and he couldn't because he didn't. Grrrr. This is on top of the fact that we basically did nothing for our 5 year anniversary a few weeks ago either - he mentioned buying me flowers but didn't do it, and then I had to make a dinner reservation and drag him along. Not very romantic or special. Am I being unreasonable to be upset with him? My skin is breaking out and I just feel horrible and worried about the baby. I just wish he would do something nice once and awhile, not cleaning and things like that (he does that and its very responsible and he's a very good man), but something sweet and romantic. Ok I'll end this rant now. Sorry!

@sadtoday21 I’m so so sorry you’ve been through that! If he had a reservation he should have said before hand, he didn’t need to tell you the restaurant but you can’t be a mind reader. All men have their moments where you want to slap your palm to forehead! He should be very mindful that you are pregnant and he more than anyone should know your anxiety surrounding the situation. Stay strong and don’t give him an apology! He owes you one!

Sorry your DH was a knob @sadtoday21 sounds like he was jealous you had a nice day with a friend while he was at work, also you’re not a mind reader!

Welcome @Lauraloop4 and @TeapotsLoveYouLots, sorry for your previous losses. Ramble away here, we’re all feeling the same and totally get it

I’ve just been for my early scan, there is actually a baby with a hb in there, I can’t believe it! Also it looks like a baby too, not the early scan I had with DD. Measuring about 8+5 but it’s not accurate at this point. All looks ok apart from 2 yolk sacs so probably started as twins but no evidence of another baby and shouldn’t cause any issues.

Oh and Happy Birthday for yesterday! @sadtoday21

That’s awful @sadtoday21 and I think he owes you an apology too for making your birthday unpleasant. He should have communicated better with you if he wanted to do something during the day. Maybe he’s struggling a bit at the moment with the anxiety of pregnancy after loss but whatever the reason he shouldn’t be treating you like that. I guess all you can do is make it clear how he’s made you feel and what you need from him. Men are sometimes baffling! Xx

Thanks @Kiki061190, that means a lot! I wasn't sure whether I was just being overly emotional about the whole thing - I am alternating between letting it go and staying mad at him. I think everyone just thinks pregnancy is easy for me because I don't throw up or get physically sick. In reality, though, the hormones do impact me in different ways, even if this mostly shows up as bloating and acne unfortunately. I feel I could complain about throwing up, but not about acne as it just seems vain somehow. It definitely gets me down though and its not easy, particularly since my skin is always clear at all other times except pregnancy. It just lowers my self esteem and then of course I worry that history is repeating itself and wonder if the hormone levels are going crazy because something is wrong. A nice birthday present would have been a private scan or maybe even a few pounds worth of tea tree oil from boots to help clear this up. But I am definitely hormonal right now because writing this makes me want to cry! It's stupid, I think my hormones are way out of whack but I can't talk myself into being rational again atm.

Anyway, how are you doing? It's so sweet that your DP bought some baby things, I've been longing to do that but way too scared. I can understand why you would put it away for now. Do you have a bump yet or other symptoms? Hope you are feeling more relaxed after your holiday! Xxx

Just so amazing @bananamonkey that’s exactly what I measured last week when I went. I too was surprised at how baby like it was. Sorry to hear there was probably two. It’s probably good that you didn’t go earlier then as it might have been distressing if you’d seen it. You must feel so relieved! Xx

Thanks @bananamonkey and massive congrats on your scan! That's so exciting that you got to see the baby and hb finally after all this time. Are you feeling less anxious now?

You are right @Catconfusion and I really can't understand why he acted that way. I feel like talking about it will only end in an argument, so I'm just keeping my distance and trying to do some work. How are you feeling? Hope you are starting to feel a bit better and best of luck for your scan this week! Xxx

The relief is massive @Catconfusion I’ve been so anxious it’s ridiculous. She said the other one probably didn’t even get started so nothing to worry about. They discharged me but said I can go back anytime if I’m worried.

@bananamonkey Congrats! What amazing news! How are you feeling now symptom wise???

@sadtoday21 I would do the same and keep my distance, you will find that he will probably simmer down and apologise. No one should spend their birthday that way. It was sweet of OH but I couldn’t even look at it! 18 days until the scan.... if I see a baby then I’ll get excited!

That’s brilliant @bananamonkey. Good they left the door open so to speak so you can go back if you need to. It’s odd we’ve not been discharged. We’ve been offered fortnightly appointments until 16 weeks. The scan was completely healthy and I’ve had no worrying symptoms. I guess it could be the hyperemesis or my age at 40. Also my first baby. They’ve offered me open access to the Gynae ward for the sickness if I’m not coping at home. The sonographer said we could chat about that next time if I’m still struggling. Roll on that 12 week scan though. Mine is in just under 3 weeks. Xx