Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hello ladies, so not much to report here. Still sofa bound and counting down the days until the scan. I’ve decided I’m going to stop the medication. At times I just felt like my body needed to vomit but couldn’t and if anything it made me feel a bit worse. I also vomited 3 times yesterday inbetween doses. If I’m still nauseous and being sick I’m not really seeing the point. I was also pretty groggy on it too. It’s just never easy! Xx

@Amanda81 great to hear how excited you are now you have your little bump and so much movement. You’ve done so well to get through those early days. Hopefully it’ll be plain sailing now! Xx

Awww @catconfusion so sorry you’ve been so sick! You’ll know what’s best for you so if you think it’s best to stop medication then that’s probably best. I’ve had no symptoms at all over here and the anxiety is kicking back in....

@Amanda81 Thanks so much for asking after me! How amazing you’ve bought the nursery furniture. It’s all getting real now 😊

I can totally understand @Catconfusion - you know what to do for the best with the medication...as long as you are able to keep fluid and some food down, perhaps some nausea and sickness can be tolerated. I am so pleased to have made it this far and I guess I am biting the bullet and forcing myself to purchase the big items. There is a part of me which really doesn't want to, but I have to control that negative side of me as ultimately i want to be excited and happy for our future. Is it your scan tomorrow?

It's so hard @Kiki061190 regarding the symptoms. When I was between 6 and 11 weeks they would come and go and I figured that the symptoms where elevating and reducing with the HCg levels. However, when I got to 11 weeks they gradually subsided over a period of 2 weeks and they haven't returned since. Symptoms are a very strange phenomena (weird how we all behave differently to HCG) and they really can't indicate what's going on in there. When will you be getting a scan?

How are you @bananamonkey ??

4 out of 4 days nearly @sadtoday21 - how are you feeling?

Xx

@Amanda81 I’m due a scan October 3rd! I had a week ago on the tummy which I was surprised at as I was expecting an internal at 7 weeks. They saw a heartbeat and said all was well. I saw one last time though so it didn’t ease me in the slightest. I’m going to hold out until the 12 week scan because even if I have a scan in between it’s not going to change the outcome I guess!

Hey @Kiki061190 - I saw that you had a scan and a lovely strong heartbeat was detected 💖- this must be reassuring and is a good starting point. You are stronger than I regarding scans, I would torture myself with the 'what ifs' and it was very hard. Totally regret it now of course (not the scans, but the torture). I admire your strength and resolve! Xx

@Amanda81 I’m totally wracked with anxiety about it. I feel I’ve mentally prepared myself for another no heartbeat situation. My OH is so excited about it and he just thinks it’ll work out no problem. Us ladies know that might not be the case! When I had the scan they never said if the baby was measuring to size and if the heartbeat was good. It was all over in 2 minutes! They just said look at the heartbeat and something about having a nice pregnancy sac which is a compliment I never thought I would receive 😂 I guess she wasn’t going to go into detail with a tummy scan as she probably can’t get accurate measurements!

My DH was and is exactly the same @Kiki061190 - some days he exudes positivity out of his pores. Totally has balanced me out on many occasions. The reason why I had so many scans is due to wanting to find out ASAP if anything had gone wrong as last time I had to have a ERPC (first operation in my life) and would rather have taken the pills if it was to happen this time. When I had my first scan (NHS) I thought I was 6+5 and they measured me at 6. This caused anxiety for the following two weeks as they wanted me back for a follow up, but i also knew that a heartbeat is usually detected at 6+3...so I was in the region. When I went back they said 8+2 ish. My measurements fluctuated quite a lot to be fair and it is only a guess during the early stage as they all grow at different rates. I guess that's why they don't do dating scans until 12 weeks.

I think sometimes it's easier to prepare yourself for the worst, it gives you some control. It's what i did all the way through to about 15/16 weeks. It got to a stage though that I had to allow myself to believe and think more positively. I started thinking that even if something did go wrong, I would still be distraught, so thinking negatively was getting me nowhere, other than being sad. Therefore, I decided to allow myself to believe. It's nice when you finally allow yourself to get excited, but there is a feeling that you will have more to lose and it's bloody hard to allow it.

Life's a bitch isn't it - but these life experiences make us stronger

Thanks @Amanda81!! 4 out of 4 days completed now :). We got a letter in the mail this morning from the hospital, but it was just confirming the date of our 20 week scan. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it! But now I think we will get the results in the post and that should be any time starting next week. Fingers crossed for low risk!

I'm so glad you are starting to decorate the nursery a bit, although I can imagine it is still hard to buy things. What pieces have you bought so far? How many weeks are you now? Have you been able to stop scanning now that you are feeling regular movement? I'm so excited for you, xmas doesn't seem that far away now with the cooler weather! Xxx

@Kiki061190 sorry to hear you are anxious about symptoms, you've been an absolute rockstar this far, especially to hold up so well with only one scan! I couldn't do it. But I guess it might be different for us because I didn't have any scans before 12 weeks last time and you did, but both of us had the same outcome. I guess I just feel way too much anxiety when I don't know what's going on for a long time. As for symptoms, I never really had any and even less so now. It scares me all the time, even now that I'm nearing the second trimester. All I can say is try to take your mind off it as much as you can and keep enjoying life to the fullest. There's nothing worse than just waiting for the weeks to go by and if you aren't sick, at least you can enjoy it! Thinking of you!

How are you doing @bananamonkey? Any scans coming up?

Good luck for your scan @Catconfusion! I'm sorry to hear that you are still feeling ill, but I think you are right to stop the medication if it's not significantly helping. You will be done with this first trimester and start feeling better before you know it! We are all routing for you :)

@Amanda81 @sadtoday21 You ladies have been my lifeline! I swear it feels great to just say these things and you all understand what I’m going through. I don’t want to keep saying things to OH because he’s so positive. When I get back from my holiday I’m 9+2 and I’m super busy until the following weekend when I’ll be over 10 weeks so I’m not sure if there’s a point in a scan when I’m having one at 12 weeks exactly. All my family has never had scans until 12 weeks and I’m like how did they manage? They never seemed anxious in the slightest! How do people do it?!

Also YAY @sadtoday21 amazing that there was no call! Hope you and DH are celebrating this weekend ♥️

Thanks @Kiki061190! TBH, it didn't bother me at all waiting for the 12 week scan last time. The weeks seemed to go by a lot more quickly when I didn't know about MMC. Now I just know too much! I think if you haven't had a loss before then the process feels very different. I know that none of my family understands it, only you ladies and DH get it! My DH sounds like more of a natural worrier than yours, but I also don't want to get him more worried and then have us both spiraling out of control :/. I would just get a scan when you feel you really need one and thinking about it worse than just going to the scan. Xxx

Forgot to add, in terms of my own scanxiety, I caved today and booked a midwife appointment for next week (when I'll be 13+4). I'm not really supposed to see her again until 16 weeks, but I feel so anxious about waiting all that time with no scan in sight that I just thought I'll go and talk to her and see if she will listen to the hb or help me in some way. Is that crazy? I don't want to waste her time, but I really can't concentrate on work or sleep and the idea of waiting even until a private scan at 16 weeks is just more than I can cope with right now. Thoughts?

Whoop whoop 🙌 for not getting a call @sadtoday21. I have every confidence that it will all be low risk, your measurements of 1.5mm are so good.

We have bought a cot bed (for when she's beyond 6 months) a wardrobe and chest of drawers with a baby change on top (which can come off) - it came as a set and had some money off, so thought we would take the plunge. I'm 24 weeks tomorrow (omg! Omg!). We start the house shift-around this weekend and start the decorating the weekend after. Since feeling movement I don't feel the need to go for a scan and as my belly is growing I am comforted that she is growing. I think we will be getting a scan in a few week though, but haven't booked anything. We just want to see how she is progressing. We are hoping she comes early on the 19th December (EDD 27th) as this is when we got together, we've been together for 16 years this year.

You are totally safe here @Kiki061190 and we all completely understand what you are going through. Keep busy and keep talking

Hey @sadtoday21 - I'm not sure she will try with the HB. Mine say that they don't until 25 weeks as it can cause more anxiety if they can't pick it up. I have heard though that some MWs have done it at 16 weeks Have you met tour MW...do you think she will do it? My MW did want to see me every two weeks up until recently as she wanted to see how I was coping. It will be good to see her in any case and to discuss your anxiety and hopefully find the HB. Xx

Sorry for the delay in replying. It's been pretty manic here trying to sort OH's girls schooling out and things. @sadtoday21 I'm feeling ok. Have my scan next week. Not really feeling pregnant at the moment. 13 weeks on Saturday. Scan next Wednesday. Thinking I'll use the Doppler later maybe just for reassurance! If I can get some peace for long enough 🤷‍♀️

How are you feeling hun? Hope you're doing ok

Hope everyone else is aswell xx

Please can anyone help, I'm in hospital absolutely devestated I am 7 weeks pregnant today went for early scan due to chemical miscarriage couple mth ago and have been told the baby is in the wrong place its growing in a previous c section scar which is apparently very rare and extremely dangerous being prepped for theatre I am a complete wrecks saw bubba heartbeat on screen hcg levels great perfect pregnancy I been told just in wrong place I am so so so scared. Has anyone been thru this x

@Arabella24 I’m so sorry you are going through this! It’s so difficult getting that bad news. I haven’t had the experience you have had but all the ladies on here have experienced loss in different ways. This is the worst part of it ♥️ Sending you love.

@sadtoday21 I think only you know what’s best for you though. If you want a scan before 16 weeks then you should get one. It is completely your own decision. I’m back with the no symptoms and the anxiety is creeping in. I just feel like nothing is going on in there! Did you have any symptoms at 8 weeks? I’m hoping heading on holiday today for a week will take my mind off things!

I’m so sorry @Arabella24 that must be an awful shock and so hard to comprehend. I don’t have the same experience as I had a missed miscarriage but I did have surgery. All I can say is despite the horribleness the surgery was actually an ok experience and the hospital staff were great, hopefully yours will be the same. Keep talking here if you need too x x

Thanks for asking @Amanda81 and @sadtoday21 I’ve not had chance to catch up on all the posts as I’m away but great news for your test results @sadtoday21. Hope everyone else is doing well. @Catconfusion sorry the meds aren’t doing what you need, I know my friend had HG and for her it was a matter of trying out the different ones to find the one that suited her best. She’s taken them for 2 pregnancies and it’s all been fine.

Spain is lovely (although I forgot I can’t have the uncooked chorizo 😭, will try and freeze a pack without the ILs noticing!), it’s mostly a welcome distraction. I felt a bit nauseous at the beginning of the week but now I’m feeling fine which obviously makes me feel anxious, I feel like I’m a fraud, that I must be imagining it and I’m not really pregnant. My belly does look huge though but this may just be all the carbs! Got a Dr.s appointment next Friday to request an early scan so nothing on the horizon yet but fingers crossed they will otherwise will look at a private one, although if it’s going to be bad news I’d rather be at the EPAU.

I've met her once @Amanda81 and she's very nice. I don't know if she will do it either tbh, so it may be a waste of time, but at least I can talk to her and figure out what to do next. Did your symptoms change a lot between 12 and 16 weeks? Seems like a period where not a lot is going on, unfortunately. BTW, have you bought some nice maternity clothes now? Xxx

I'm with you @bananamonkey, I don't like the idea of private scans. If it's bad news, I'd rather be in the EPAU or hospital. I've never had a private scan, so I'm really nervous about them in general. The problem is that my EPAU already scanned me twice for molar and so now I feel they won't see me again unless I'm in pain or bleeding, and I really don't want to lie about this! Glad to hear your vacation is going well and definitely freeze that chorizo for later!

Thanks @Kiki061190! I didn't have any symptoms at 8 weeks to speak of. At most just feeling hungry, tired, sore breasts. Nothing major. Later on I became incredibly thirsty as well and I still am!

My symptoms really reduced at 12 weeks @sadtoday21 - couldn't tell I was pregnant really. The only thing that lingered was food aversions. I've had plenty of private scans and I can honestly say that they have been very professional and understanding of the anxiety. The sonographers all work at the hospitals anyway so know the protocols. In terms of maternity gear, I've bought jeggins and leggings in maternity ward, but haven't needed to change any tops yet. I have bought some baggier T-shirt's in my usual size, and these are getting me through. Thankfully I don't work in an office environment (well I do, but I govern the dress code) and don't have to dress-up in formal attire everyday. Have you bought anything for you or baby yet?

Pleased to hear you are enjoying your hols @bananamonkey - I hope you get that early scan.

Enjoy your hols @Kiki061190

I'm so sorry to hear of your position @Arabella24 - I can't imagine. I haven't had experience of what you are going through, but have had surgery to remove a MC. The surgery wasn't too bad to be honest and the staff are great in the hospitals. It's the aftermath that can get to you I.e trying again, will it happen again. Talking gets you through this! I hope you find the support here! Sending you support x

I just got my combined test results in the post this morning!

Here are my numbers:
Nuchal measurement: 1.5 mm
Downs risk: 1 in 56,165
Edward/Patau risk: 1 in 100,000

What do you ladies think? Hope you are all well!

I haven't bought anything yet @Amanda81, for either me or the baby. Still not real enough yet I'm afraid and I am not quite big enough for maternity clothes. I really want to buy something for baby, but forcing myself to hold off until 20 week scan, if I make it that far!