The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

@rubyroot I think that's great you can have both tests and holiday. Keeping fx for you!

@Bluebelltulip it was a massive disappointment. I love a bacon roll. Glad the headache has eased. It's s typical pregnancy symptom though. I'm definitely going to keep an eye on the pee.

@pinkoi I agree a 7 week scan is likely to show you more.

@moonpeace thanks. I'm trying to drink loads but unless at the moment it is flavoured I'm struggling. Plain water is not very pleasant at the moment.

@Frillyfarmer the red Bush tea is naturally caffeine free. I guess there may be a little in the chocolate flavour Alpro. Can't imagine it's lots though. I am eating lots of salt and vinegar crisps at the moment because they are thing I can stomach the most.

@Russkispy yay you've dipped your toe in here. Lovely to see you here. Keeping everything crossed for you this is your rainbow. Thank you. We can only hope these babies on this thread all stick for all of us. One day at a time.

Things are not looking good for me unfortunately, some significant bleeding and cramping now so suspect it's all over.

That will be 3 miscarriages in 10 months . Will ask for epu referral to confirm. Just feel gutted. Not sure if I have the stomach to keep on ttc, but know I am v lucky to have 2dds. Will see what epu says.

@milkjetmum I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hope it is just a scare and baby is ok in there. Keep us updated. Fx all goes well at EPU. Sending you a hand hold x

Sorry to hear that @milkjetmum. Hope you're ok x

@milkjetmum sorry to hear that, I hope the epu can see you quickly.

@milkjetmum I'm so sorry that you're going through this - fingers crossed it's not as bad as it seems, but hope the EPU can see you quickly. Sending you love and strength whatever happens. Do you have someone with you in real life?

Thanks everyone, yes physically ok as know the drill now but just so angry at the world. Husband is great but it is also hard as he was really knocked by first two miscarriages and I persuaded him that we should keep trying . Feel cross at epu for telling me to Keep trying after last time and giving me hope which I know is unreasonable but just feel about everything at the mo

In work now which I know is crazy but just can't face facts really yet. Will have a half day as school events for dds this afternoon.

Thanks all for kind wishes, it is good to offload.

@milkjetmum sorry that this might be happening. Hopefully epu can see you quickly

@milkjetmum so sorry to hear what you're going through. Please try to be kind to yourself. I understand what you say about your husband they really can't deal with it can they (men), but try to concentrate on your feelings, not his. X

Sorry for dropping off for the past few days. I have been having a major anxiety attack regarding this pregnancy and the negative thoughts have overwhelmed me. I thought I felt some movements, but nothing major and definitely nothing consistent. Just a few bubbley pops here and there. Hence a big panic because I hadn’t felt anything in a few days, which sent me into a bit of a spiral. I just can’t get my head around how there can be something that is 11cm inside me that I can’t feel. Not that I could feel my DD at this stage at all. I’m just letting the anxiety take over. The good news is I had a scan today and all is looking as it should be. I’m 16 weeks tomorrow and the lady said everything is measuring slightly ahead (but still within normal range). She did tell me I have an anterior placenta (it's more to my right side) which would explain movements and she said I may not feel anything consistently until after 20 weeks. So I will be booking another scan for two weeks time to tide me over! Spending a bloody fortune but I figure it’s better than worrying. In other news, it's definitely a boy, my bump is now unmistakable (lots of people have noticed at work) and my nausea and food aversions have returned the past few days. Not sure if it peaks when there is growth spurt or whether it’s the heat. Either way, I am now wondering if I will just be one of those people who feel nauseous all the way through with this pregnancy!

@milkjetmum I am so sorry to read your update. How is the bleeding now? Keep your lovely DDs close and try and look after yourself. You have been through so much in such a short space of time. Hopefully you find out what is going on quickly. Also, please don’t make any decisions about the future until you know for sure and until you have had time. We are all still here for you if you need to rant or moan xxx lots of virtual hugs xxx

@InDreamland I am so pleased to read your update! What marvellous news that you have now got further than ever before and what a lovely photo! I really hope you take some comfort from this. I believe that this is your rainbow and even if we can’t keep positive for ourselves, I will keep positive for you!

Nice to see you here @Russkispy! I hope you are feeling OK.
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How are you @Newbie21? I am sure today is your Harmony test and scan. I am thinking of you xxx

How are you @tinatsarina? Any news on your scan?
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Lovely to hear from you @moonpeace and yes to the tailbone pain! In fact, yes to just lower back pain in general. It’s horrible because any pain or cramp or twinge and I freak out, but I all this is normal as our bodies change. Just more and more to over analyse and worry about isn’t there?!

I hope the cramps have subsided and you get your results soon @rubyroot. I am crossing all for good levels so you can relax (a bit!) and enjoy your holiday.

Hello @pinkoi and congrats! Your stone idea is beautiful and I also like your ring @DuvetCaterpillar. I have also kept my tests from previous MC and ectopic, they are in a box on top of my wardrobe but I want to keep them to remember they were here; they were real and they were wanted.

How are you @theAntsareMyFriends? I believe you were waiting on NIPT results? Been thinking of you and I am hope all is OK xxx

How are you @Bluebelltulip, @Amanda81 and @ Frillyfarmer? And anyone I have missed! Hope everyone’s positive pants are still intact! xxx

Sorry for crazy formatting in that post - my phone has a mind of its own!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue nothing from them yet I'm not sure if I should phone them or get the gp to phone them back

Great news on your scan @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue. I'm sorry you've been so anxious. You'll probably feel movements soon and then panic when you don't feel then for a while! Thats how it is when you feel movements to start with isn't it.

As soon as you get over one hurdle. So I await my results, pains feel very periody/miscarriagey today so I'm not holding out much hope. Who bloody knows tho eh?

Hi ladies just back from holiday. There is a lot to catch up on so sorry if I miss anyone!

@InDreamland @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue So glad your scans went well. your scan photo is just beautiful!

@milkjetmum I’m so so sorry. Please look after yourself. You’ve been through so much in such a short space of time my heart really goes out to you. Sending huge virtual hugs. X

@rubyroot did you get your blood results. Hoping so much they are amazing!

Well we got home from holiday today had a lovely time but really really wanting a scan. Have had some brown spotting everytime I go for a bowel movement over the last couple of days. It’s scaring the life out of me but thankfully nothing in between times and nothing on my pants it’s only when I wipe after going and no real pains. The odd twinge now and again. Trying to remind myself it’s old blood and I’m sure there must be a little left over from the miscarriage since it was so recent. I have my first antenatal next Thursday with midwife at my GP surgery, they are bringing me in early because I’ve had no period in between but not sure if the will scan me or not.

Finally got my HCG results from last Thursday and they went up to 334.4 from 70 on Monday so doubling time of 1.3 days/33hrs so feeling pretty happy with that. Just wish the spotting would go away nearly afraid to go to the toilet. Been peeing on sticks all day just needed to see those lines. Got the best FRER I’ve ever seen in my life it barely has a control line it’s that dark, also got my 3+ on my digital so trying to relax my levels must be way up I never managed more than a 2-3 last time.

@tinatsarina I would give them a call they can be a nightmare sometimes x

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm another owner of an anterior placenta. I didn't feel movements until 23 weeks, and they didn't become regular until 24wks. My MW said before 24 weeks it's just a case of spotting a pattern and getting used to what's normal for you

@Ginmonkey84 for 3+ hcg has to be 7000 so that's really good isn't it?! I'm quite obsessive at the moment and found a doc with it online.

Great news on your scan @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue sometimes they are the only way to keep dark thoughts at bay!

I've just come out of the mother of all arbitration meetings - been sat in there since 10am and it was utter hell. Refreshments were tea and coffee, neither of which were decaf, or water 😬 I went for approximately 7,000 wees and I'm thanking my lucky stars everyone else in the room was male and hadn't picked up on my green tinge and matted cold sweat look. Having forced down a couple of beige buffet items I'm feeling utterly shit and on the point of falling asleep at my desk. Luckily I'm not at work tomorrow - I might drop DS with my mum and spend the day sleeping.

Sorry I have been quiet for the last few days, have been staying away from my mobile as I seemed to be on it for most of the day, which is not good when you are on holiday and trying to relax (work emails kept popping up 😤).

So pleased to hear all the good news on recent scans, and pleased to hear that there is something there @InDreamland - hopefullly this has helped with the anxiety. I totally get you with the anxiety @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue. I thought it would have gone by now (17 weeks tomorrow), but it's still lurking. I think my anxiety is related to not having a scan now for 2 weeks and 2 days. I have one in a weeks time when I return home, and simply can't wait. My belly has grown since been away, which again you'd think it would make it better, but somehow the anxiety and negative thoughts always seem to win over the positivity. I just need to see that all is okay in black and white with the heartbeat flickering away in that screen.

I've been getting some more shooting pains in my breasts that last few days and a few aches around my belly. I am hoping these are growing pains and perfectly normal for 16/17 weeks...anybody know?

How are things with you @sadtoday21?

I've also been told I have an anterior placenta at my last scan when I was 14+4 (ish) @SerenaOverjoyed. Do they move? Or is that something I have to accept? What kind of movements did you get with yours before 24/25 weeks? Not really sure what I'm looking out for. Sorry for all the questions.

Good news on the HCG @Ginmonkey84 🙌🙌

My heart goes out to you @milkjetmum - very sorry and do look after yourself.

Getting decaf on holiday as been an absolute mare @Frillyfarmer - so feel you on this score. I have missed my decaf lattes.

Thanks all for the kind wishes, epu can't see me until Tuesday (!) And suspect it all might be over by then. Wishing all of you the best, and I hope I might rejoin the huddle one day

So gone from 607 to 1500 in 48 hours. Does that sound okay? That still can't rule out ectopic but said at 1500 they should see something on scan so scan tomorrow morn. They wanted me to go in overnight for observation but I said no. I think they're just being over cautious because of one sided pain?

Hi ladies, just a quick message, been a crazy 24hrs but would like to introduce you to baby Yukka, born this morning weighing 6.15. She's doing brilliantly, we've been home since 11am, it's still sinking in!

Xxx

OMG @Yukka!!! Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! The first thread baby! You're officially a mummy!! Welcome to the crazy part

I hope you are doing ok?

Massive virtual hugs for you and Baby Yukka. I'm absolutely thrilled for you! xxxxx

Awwww brought a tear to my eye, she's beautiful

@Yukka congratulations and well done. She's beautiful. I hope you are keeping ok. Absolutely amazing and wonderful news.

Just had my harmony test and scan and extremely relieved to report that all seems to be well. Baby measuring 11 weeks (so 3 days ahead). Heard the heartbeat and got some video clips of baby kicking around and waving. DH and I cried our eyes out with relief. Xx harmony results come through some time next week so fingers crossed.

Oh @Yukka absolutely huge congratulations I'm SO happy for you. I'm also thrilled for you that you went naturally xx