The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

Thanks for the welcome @rubyroot and @Bluebelltulip! Hi @Navy123, so glad you joined in here!

@sadtoday21 I have never been sick with pregnancy and have one DS and currently nearly 13weeks and it's looking good. The pregnancy that I felt the most nausea, was one that I lost - an MMC but even then it wasn't that bad. I think some of us just don't get it. If we'd never experienced a loss we'd consider ourselves lucky. Following a loss it gives us cause for more stress and concern. Try to stay positive. 8weeks is a real achievement. I hope things get easier and you can start getting more and more positive as the weeks go by.

@Navy123 lovely to see you on here as well 😊 fingers crossed for you xx

Yesterday I was really struggling at work with nausea and the smells of lunchtime. Im just dreading going in today but I'm too busy to work from home unfortunately. Im so grateful for feeling shit but at the same time it's exhausting, especially with my toddler. I'm 9+5 today and have another scan at 11 - the days are slowing down again!

@Squiff70 @Navy123 lovely to see you here! Congratulations on the BFPs! Wishing you both a H&H 40 weeks. I see there's been another wave of BFPs on the TTC thread and hoping to see a few of the others join us soon too. The first trimester is so scary, relief of getting those lines soon turns into anxiety. We all know here 2 lines doesn't = baby to bring home. However, this is the best place to be for support and understanding.

@Newbie21 thankfully I didn't need Gaviscon in the end, it seemed to subside overnight but nausea today is not good. I agree the c-section decision needs to be the right one for mother, I just got the distinct feeling my NHS Trust will push back unless absolutely necessary. On the tiredness I certainly felt exhausted in my first pregnancy too, even in the 5-6 weeks after baby hadn't developed and was an mmc.

@CodlingMoth how far along are you now? Hope you're enjoying your hols.

@Zznorth that's so annoying you've not got your 12 week scan yet. How can they have messed up with your records so badly. Most inconvenient. Hope it's sorted soon.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue your midwife sounds so supportive. Glad you got to hear the heartbeat. Hope the scan goes well today!

@Russkispy you are so strong. I'd have been straight to EPU for a scan.

@sadtoday21 fx the booking appointment isn't a waste of time but I totally felt the same, it was me who said it a few weeks ago. Try not to analyse the symptoms, I need to take my own advice, if you don't have them you worry, if you do have them you still worry about mmc. It's a no win situation. I'm still on 24 hour knicker watch and I've had 3 scans showing a strong heartbeat.

@rubyroot haha! Love that you offered to pay midwife!

Not that I'm wishing my life away but this weekend cannot come fast enough so I can just sleep. I'm also super anxious about NHS scan on Tuesday and Harmony results next week Friday.

@Amanda81 good luck on your scan on Tuesday, just a few more days now! I can understand why you’d be worried about a milestone as big as the anatomy scan, but you have made it this far and overwhelming odd are that you get to see your little girl wriggling around! Is the bump getting bigger now? Thinking of you xxx.

I know what you mean @rubyroot
about already losing reassurance from the scan just two days later! It does feel like a lifetime ago. I have my second scan next Friday afternoon, when I should be roughly 9 weeks. Scared because it is both around the same time I lost the last baby and in the same hospital.

And just like you @Indreamland I am also still knicker checking - does it ever really stop? But mmc is my real fear. Fx for your scan and harmony results next week! How are you coping with the anxiety?

@Newbie21 thanks so much for your reply! It really helped. How are you feeling now you have reached 13 weeks? That’s a wonderful milestone to have passed!

Randomly, does anyone have any tips for dealing with the bloating? I’m not complaining, I’ll take it all as long as baby is healthy, but would be great to manage it better somehow.

Hi @InDreamland, nice to see you posting and thanks for the welcome. I know exactly what you mean about the relief of the two lines quickly turing to anxiety. I'm petrified something is going to go wrong but I think some of my fear is down to raging hormones as I'm an absolute nervous wreck this morning.

@Squiff70 the first few weeks are so hard after pregnancy loss, the anxiety is unreal. I hope the weekend passes quickly for your scan on Monday.

Just popped into the TTC board and it's fabulous to see another big wave of BFPs on there. I know how I felt when the first one came and it's tough for others on there who are still trying - such a hard difficult time TTC.

I've reached a new low having just spent an hour on the floor of the ladies loos feigning "hangover" to my work colleague who covered for me like a trooper. I've got budget reforecasts otherwise I would be at home to my bed. 🤢

@sadtoday21 I'm not sorting booking appt yet until I get to 10 weeks and have harmony scan... If I get there!

I told them at epau I would not be sorting booking for a while and they understood. I'm shit scared about another t21 diagnosis.

Thanks for the welcome guys. Nice to join you!

Definitely got the anxiety going on, constant knicker scrutiny. Did manage to not poas today - saving a frer for tomorrow.

I was due to be seen by gynae soon to get a plan for if I got pg again. Those of you who got to that stage, what was your plan? Did it involve any early scans? Our epu says it won't take gp referrals for early scans due to multiple miscarriages which I'm finding irritating, especially after reading research that additional interventions including early scans have actually shown to improve outcomes. I've got a gp appt next week to try and plead my case!

@Navy123 it's really frustrating, but I think if you could afford it I would consider getting a private early scan to avoid the stress and anxiety that sometimes comes with arguing the toss with GPS/EPU. I did have an early scan at EPU this time round but only because my dates were after MC so they calculated me further along than I knew I was.

@InDreamland thank you. I'm surprisingly calm about it now. It's annoying to see the brown spotting as constantly wearing a pad but that's ok. Am not in any pain, clots or cramps and just getting on with things. Waiting for Wednesday scan and will take it from there

@FrillyFarmer are you feeling any better now?

I've just got back from my 16 week midwife appointment (at 17 weeks). It wasn't my normal midwife and she seemed like she didn't know what to say about DD2's pregnancy and seemed to be finding it awkward asking me questions, the student she had with her was lovely though. They did find the heart beat which was normal, lovely and a relief. Hearing a normal heart beat after hearing DD2's far too fast so many times was also upsetting. I didn't cry there but am now I'm home. I think it's starting to sink in that I'm having another baby with hearing the heart beat and feeling movements, I'm happy about these things but I'm also terrified of getting attached and losing another baby.

Awwww @Bluebelltip sending hugs. Sorry you're feeling that way. Sometimes a cry is good for you x

Oh bless you @Bluebelltulip, that's so tough. I understand your loss having lost twins at 19 weeks. I think until I pass that point (by a merry mile) I won't be able to relax and enjoy the pregnancy a bit. I understand your tears - they are normal and natural and absolutely understandable. Keep in mind though that by 17 weeks, the vast, vast majority of pregnancies result in healthy babies.

@Navy123 I'm in the same boat as you, bfp before my gynaecology appointment for rmc has come through. Am going to call the local epu tomorrow to figure out what to do (even if it's go back to the gp).

Be kind to yourself @Bluebelltulip being scared of having to repeat the grieving process (especially while still going through it) is completely natural.

@InDreamland I'm only 4+5 today. Have spent so much of this year dealing with early morning sickness nausea already, I feel like I should be so much further along

Welcome to all the newbies and congratulations! Horrible time early pregnancy (and beyond as we can all vouch!) but this group is a lifeline.

@Bluebelltulip my heart goes out to you. It's good news about the heartbeat though, although it must bring back so much for you. I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you see a counsellor? I am a big advocate for therapy and started seeing a counsellor after my ectopic. I think it's useful having a safe space to really let out your emotions. Anyway, I'm sending you big hugs.

@Russkispy another one in awe of your calm! I'm obviously keeping all crossed for you.

Hope you're feeling better @Frillyfarmer!

So I had another scan this afternoon. It was at the Fetal Medicine Centre again and they spent nearly an hour checking everything over. Baby Boy was super active and we got to see him waving and opening his mouth! The good news is all is looking fine and on track! 18 weeks tomorrow 😳😬

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Russian Iron Lady here, full of calm at my first visit to EPU, the consultant said and put in the letter - sub chorionic bleed. I read about it and made "peace" with this brown discharge. It might takes days or weeks to end but I won't let this bother me anymore. Of course I'm hoping for the best! Wednesday scan will tell us all.
Your scan photo is just beautiful! Glad it all went well!

Thanks @rubyroot, @Squiff70, @CodlingMoth, @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue at the moment I can't see me relaxing about this pregnancy until the baby is safe in my arms, the odds of me loosing DD2 at 32 weeks even with her heart condition were low as she was having treatment but it still happened. Today did bring a lot back as the last time I had a heart beat listened to in that room was the one that first detected DD2's heart was too fast. I've not had any counselling, I've thought about a few times but not done anything about it, I have had it before and it helped. Got a week and a half until I see fetal medicine for the anomaly scan so not long until I get to see the baby again.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue your scan sounds great must have been lovely to see.

@Russkispy I'm hoping it stops in days rather than weeks for you, good luck next week.

Hello all, checking back in after a few quiet days - welcome to @navy123 and @squiff70 and hope all goes well for you.

Good news - I had my follow up scan yesterday, and we saw progress since last week - gestational sac, yolk sac and a tiny heartbeat flickering on the screen! I'm 5+6 today so it's very early days, but because it's definitely not ectopic and is viable now, I've been taken off the high risk list and will be considered as a normal pregnancy from here onwards. Such a relief, and what a miracle to see a heartbeat - just hope this little one hangs on! EDD now 27th March.

Scan showed I've got a sub chorionic bleed as well @russkispy, although no bleeding or discharge yet - definitely helps to know what to expect on that front.

@bluebelltulip that's great news that your scan went well, and totally get the need to cry - all that emotion and worry needs to go somewhere.

@myheartisbrokenbutihavesomeglue Beautiful scan picture, and so glad everything is going well.

@rubyroot, how are you doing, approximate-dates-twin? How are things going, @InDreamland - you've been in my thoughts? Hope everyone is keeping well and all little ones are continuing to grow nicely xx

@Frillyfarmer yes that is hopefully an option, logistics are harder for that though with childcare etc! Could take DS with us. It's just frustrating having to pay for something that is clinically advised and I feel like I deserve it after 6mcs! I know that's a bit petty though!

@Bluebelltulip glad you heard a good heartbeat. It is tough though and I know what you mean about not getting attached. Counselling does sound like a good idea.

@CodlingMoth we can't contact the epu ourselves here, they only take referrals. Daft that the rules are so different in different places.

@DuvetCaterpillar glad your scan went well. I had a sub chorionic bleed with DS seen on a scan which never appeared, it obviously just all got absorbed.

That's wonderful news @DuvetCaterpillar! Really pleased for you - it's so shit going through an ectopic and the loss of a tube, so it's great when you feel like your body has done something right!! I'm absolutely chuffed for you! Hoping all continues to go smoothly and that the bleed doesn't cause any scares! xxx

@Bluebelltulip I'd definitely consider it. That's not to be patronising but I just find it so useful. I just searched locally on the BACP website and found a lady who specialises in women's issues, pregnancy loss and fertility problems. Anyway, there is no right or wrong way to deal with the grief you're going through. I wish I had better advice and support for you that could take all this pain away xxx

@Russkispy you made me laugh! And we are all rooting for you and your appointment Wednesday xxx

Ok so I'm 10+1 and could swear I occasionally feel movement. Haven't been for a scan yet so for all I know it could be a MMC and this is all in my head. With My ds I felt little pops and flutters at 16 weeks. Could be gas moving around As well though lol

@DuvetCaterpillar excellent news. I was given a due date of the 26th, but I don't really like seeing a due date, I'm so nervous!
Their dates are wrong though and I too was given 5 weeks 4 for my little one when he was over six weeks, so am expecting more like 20th March if I get to dating scan.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue lovely scan, cute lil fists x

Hi all,
I'm not sure if I've joined this thread previously as I have been waiting in the wings on some, yet to join.

I'm 5+1 today with first baby and have had a chemical, another chemical/ early mc and a mmc last year at 5.5, found at 8.5 weeks.

I've been doing ok so far, trying not to think about the pregnancy too much which has helped me stop overanalysing every little thing as I am such a worrier.

I've been fine, had a few bouts of very mild nausea but this morning I woke up and it was quite bad and am feeling quite sick now. Last time with my mmc my sickness started with a vengeance at 5wks exactly. I'd heard it was a good sign but it was a lot and must have been around the time the baby died.

This has set me off like a nervous wreck. I think just because it's so similar to last time so I'm worried it'll end up the same and my body just follows a pattern. I'm on progesterone & higher folic acid this time but investigations found no issues with previous losses. I have a scan a week Monday to check all ok.

Was doing so well and just having a wobble this morning.