The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

@Russkispy I'm sure I've read that anything brown is 'old blood' and generally nothing to worry about however do push to get checked as the peace of mind is priceless.

I had a fast (ish) birth with my first and the anaesthetist said the next would come in 20 mins, at my booking in app my midwife was encouraging of a home birth as I may not have time. I will have it in my head but would def prefer the hospital!

I ended up having an NIPT screening scan and blood test earlier... couldn't get it out of my mind after reading about it so found somewhere local and went for it! Was so reassuring to see the scan, I was up to a hundred beforehand! It brought my due date forward slightly to the 12th Feb.

@Russkispy I had a day of brown blood at around 5wks and all was well. Try asking EPU to measure your HCG levels as well as a scan so you can check if they are increasing at a decent rate. Wishing you lots of luck.

@thecherryontop glad scan has given you reassurance and fingers crossed for good NIPT results

@theAntsareMyFriends wow they were quick births!!! Your comment to your DH really made me giggle.

@InDreamland Gaviscon - tastes terrible but works!

@Laney79 , @moonpeace , @KnitKitty , @Bluebelltulip Thanks so much for the advice and thoughts on the C-section front. I will definitely request my old records. With DS I was absolutely petrified of a C-section and induction. I even freaked out at the sweeps - neither of which worked. I was full on hypnobirthing but everything happened so bloody fast, all I had was a paracetamol that my mum gave me, lol cos the hospital didn't have a bed and then they had to rush me through as soon as they got one as baby was going to arrive in the waiting room! So his time I think I will be fine with either an epidural if no risk of incontinence but definitely a c-section if there is a risk. I've healed pretty well but things aren't perfect down there and I'd really, really hate to have a permanent issue. Although I do need to consider the scar point - I think I'll be fine with it I have a scarring on my leg from a skin graft I had to have when I was a kid and I was ok with that. Will have a think but I just want the hospital to listen. They gave me a letter which states the hospital does not promote c-sections unless there is medical reason for one but I would hope mental health is included in that.

@Russkispy how are you today? Hope EPU will bring you in for a scan today. It may help with the anxiety.

Interesting reading about vaginal or c-section here and everyone's experiences. So early on I'm not in a place to even think about the birth. Just need to somehow survive the next week until 12 week scan on Tuesday. That said with pregnancy #1 I remember midwife and gynae doc both being very keen that c-section is avoided unless absolutely necessary. Wondered whether that's for benefit of mother and baby or more NHS costs as believe c-sections are more expensive?

When will this tiredness and nausea end? 11w today and the anxiety is bad enough. Food smells are not great either. Bring on the weekend so I can just sleep.

@InDreamland I think the c-section versus vaginal is very much dependent on the situation. There is no right or wrong. The NHS is certainly pro-vaginal but I think if there are any potential concerns or reasons to consider c-section then these should be investigated as a planned c-section is a lot better for all concerned than an emergency c-section and I'm pretty sure the NHS agree with that.

@InDreamland the nausea should hopefully subside in a few weeks but it can vary. I felt a bit nauseous about 6 weeks then was fine for weeks and now when I get a bit hungry I feel nauseous but then don't really fancy anything but have to force myself to eat something. I was like that with DS and it did drag on into the second trimester. But it becomes bearable. I think it's good to keep water and a cereal bar on you. I also started getting a little faint although didn't have any iron issues or anything.

On the tiredness, I genuinely think it is compounded by stress. I think you inevitably feel more tired throughout pregnancy but I was never like this with DS and I am positive it is the stress and fear of MC that takes it out of you so the more you get get reassurance and try to think positively which will hopefully come with time then hopefully the less tired you will be. Until you are about 8 months and then you are just knackered ;-)

How are you today? @Russkispy.

@InDreamland my nausea and tiredness have eased a lot now by 16 weeks (same point as DD1's pregnancy), nausea does catch me unawares at times though.

I'm still here. Am away on holiday so not really able to keep up much. Also still in white knuckle mode. I just want to be 8 weeks already!

Sorry guys, I've been very slow on this. Great to see some more scans and people making good progress. Quite jealous of those of you with kids already who know what to expect with all this!

@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty - 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland - 39 - EDD 19/02/20 (TBC at dating scan if baby still alive)
@Tinatsarina- 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer*- 29 - EDD 29/02/20

Having a bit of an anxiety flare up at the mo as I don't have a 12 week scan appointment yet because the hospital seem to have lost my referral paperwork and my midwife is on holiday and doesn't get back until I'm 12w3d. The only way to fix it seems to be to go for another booking appointment which feels like a massive waste of time and I have to travel to a clinic 40 mins away. I do love living in the countryside... honest.

@InDreamland I still get bouts of nausea but mostly when I'm tired or hungry. It has definitely subsided since 16 weeks though! Was horrible from 7-14! Constant sicky feeling but not often throwing up!

How are you @Russkispy? Has the bleeding eased up?

Definitely agree with @Newbie21 about stress and tiredness. I also never realised how hard having a toddler when pregnant was!

I hope you get your scan sorted soon @Zznorth, that sounds so stressful! Can you book a private one or is that going to be too far where you live?

I have just had my midwife app and she was so lovely! Said the lower back and inner thigh pain definitely sounds like SPD and been advised to go via GP to get physio. She said it will be the quickest route and to do it ASAP so it doesn't get worse. I am a bit worried as on holiday in a week and not sure how long it will take to sort it even get an appointment! She confirmed I have an appointment with a consultant for early September when they will discuss the section date. She said it is usually around 39 weeks so end of Dec guess looks about right. Still just want to know a date! Aside from that I didn't realise that the appointment today was a TWO HOUR group session to talk about movement, birth and feeding etc. Basically a mini antenatal class. They said they no longer listen to the heartbeat either. I said I didn't want to stay for that. It's my second child, I know I'm having a section and I breastfed DD until gone 2 so feel pretty confident with feeding or at least what to look for if any issues. They were kind about that and offered me a one to one session instead where I talked about the pain and section. I also cried all over the lovely midwife when talking about my anxiety and at the end she said "Come on then, let's listen to this baby's heartbeat!" She found it pretty quickly, although there was a hold-your-breath moment! Said all sounds well and healthy and she felt lots of movement. So then I cried all over again! She then gave me a hug and told me she had also miscarried and found it one of the hardest things she has ever had to go through, but the way she now looks at it is that if she had had that child she wouldn't have had her daughter, who is now 25 and her best friend. She said when I meet this little boy I will understand that he was destined for me. Needless to say I left in absolute floods!!!!

Thank you for asking after me lovely ladies. It was all stringy brown discharge later in the evening but not much. Nothing through the night. Brown spotting today. Spoke with EPU earlier and my lovely nurse said everything sounds normal to her and if I wanted to come in. I actually said I'm ok for now and will wait for our scheduled appointment next Wednesday unless discharge changes to red blood with pains etc I'm ok as I keep saying brown is ok and I'm feeling ok. Felt like I wanted to throw up earlier. Feeling a bit queasy and tired 😴

Glad you had a supportive midwife appointment @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, surly a 2 hour group appointment should come with warning. They don't do that here which I'm glad of as there is no way I could cope with that. I've got a midwife appointment tomorrow afternoon.

@Russkispy sounds like the epu are being supportive, hopefully the spotting stops completely soon.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue your midwife sounds great (other than the group thing) I often think that without our losses we wouldn't have this egg/sperm combination but that's only comforting if you can convince yourself that everything is going to be okay this time – which is hard for us loss mamas!

I'm contemplating a private scan, feels annoying to be out of pocket for an admin error but it's worth the peace of mind.

In awe of @russkispy at the moment, well done for managing to feel alright and sticking to your original appointment, strong lady x

@Bluebelltulip thank you! @Zznorth must be Russian in me!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm so happy you could listen to the hb again and have some reassurance, but sorry you are dealing with SPD after all. Fx you can get treatment before your vacation. Xxx

@Russkispy amazing for waiting it out until next week! Hope everything is well and you see a hb then!

@InDreamland I'm really jealous of your nausea! I know it must be horrible, but I was reading a scientific journal article today that was very well done (RCT, high powered, controlled for exogenous variables) and it concluded that women who have had at least one previous miscarriage and are now pregnant again with morning sickness are 50-75% less likely to miscarry. Conversely, women who have no morning sickness are only 30% likely to have a healthy pregnancy :(. I know I'm dwelling on this issue a bit too much and it can go either way, but the science clearly puts the odds better in your favour if you have it. I'm still worrying because I am almost 8 weeks and very little nausea and no vomiting....really afraid this is going to signal a bad outcome again.

@sadtoday21 yes you're dwelling on this and I'm not sure about the stats to be honest.
I guess if you have no nausea there can be a link with low hcg and therefore pregnancy loss. But just because you don't have nausea it doesn't mean that you are likely to miscarry! My two very good friends didn't have any sickness and they have 5 healthy children between them. I also didn't get sickness with my little boy or any of my unsuccessful pregnancies.
Some people just don't get sick as their body I guess reacts differently to the rusi g hormones. My stomach is like steel and it takes a bit to make me sick, I wonder if that has anything to do with it?!

@rubyroot I know, you are right, I am overthinking it. I'm just worried now that we've had one good scan that the next one will be game over. Need to stop thinking about it. How are you holding up?

It's also true that I haven't been able to drink coffee for the past week at all (and I love coffee!!!), so maybe I just think morning sickness is what its like in the movies, when in fact its more subtle for me. I don't really know. I do wake up very hungry and don't feel better until I eat, and I have been craving lemonade, but I don't know if these things are all just in my mind to make me feel "pregnant" somehow. And I think you are right @rubyroot, it does take a lot for me to throw up in general...I don't even remember doing that as a child. Sigh. Need to stop obsessing over symptoms/lack thereof!

I also had my booking appointment yesterday and, as I think @InDreamland said before, it was hard to go to because the last time the mmc had already happened at the time (I went at 10 weeks), but I didn't know it. It felt pointless and stupid to get that blue folder again, I'm afraid I'll just have to return it to the hospital like last time. Anyway, enough of my negativity! It's all out of my control in any case, so no point worrying about it.

Hey everyone. Sorry I've been silent again, been absolutely manic catching up with work since the return from hols.

I am very envious of what appears to be a good connection with your MW @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue. My MW is lovely, don't get me wrong, but she isn't really emotive...it might be me expecting too much. She has been nice in terms of wanting to see me more...it's every two weeks at the minute (due to my sharing of my anxiety). I'm sure the 'connection' which I am expecting will come. Do you go with your DH or alone?

I think I'm also getting PGP! Had the first hint of it yesterday. I had been climbing a scaffold stair in the morning, and whilst I walked back to my car from site, every step resulted in a pain in the pelvic bone low down. I'm really hoping this goes away, but suspect this is going to get worse. Anybody else experience PGP???

Hey @sadtoday21 - I know plenty of peeps that didn't get Ms and have lovely babies. You may also still get it! When I got it this time round it was between 9-11 weeks at its worst, but I found that symptoms came and went, so you can't base the successful progression of a pregnancy on symptoms alone. When is your next scan? Have you booked yet? My next milestone is next Tuesday when I have the anomaly scan (I will be 19+4). Feeling quite overwhelmed that I have got to this point, and feeling very anxious for the scan. Hope she is doing okay.

@Amanda81 best of luck for your scan on Tuesday.

@sadtoday21 I'm doing okayish- can't believe my scan was 2 days ago, it feels like a week ago already! I guess I am worried about a repeat of last time, seeing a heartbeat and then getting to 12 week scan and having to terminate. I'm just convinced all my eggs are old and I'm one of these super fertile women with an over welcoming womb. I know I sound so bloody negative and have made a healthy baby. But, he's 18 months now and I'm 40!

Guess we got to take one step at a time, deal with what life throws at us etc. But the waiting is so bloody hard.

I have the odd bit of underlying sickness sometimes in the afternoons, but it is hard to know whether it is my imagination or not, I also had this with my little boy. It's not enough to stop me not drinking or eating what I want though, sounds like you have something similar?

@Amanda81 I didn't have one midwife, but about three midwives inn total before pregnancy, there was one that was absolutely lovely and the others were okay, but wouldn't take no for an answer when I wouldn't have the whooping cough vaccine or flu vaccine.

Yes, I know that's contentious but I was extremely anxious and just couldn't do it. I was so worried about what effect it would have on my baby and my anxiety levels were high. The lovely midwife was lovely about it though!

I meant before having my baby- pregnancy brain!

I had two midwives during labour and c section and was totally gutted about the shift change, and when I found out who it was at shift change my heart sunk! The first midwife was absolutely amazing! I begged her to stay and said I'd pay her double time. Yep- was high on gas and air and pethidine by then

I'd been at the hospital a while- 3 days (long induction process) and really didn't want her.) Didn't matter in the end really though, baby arrived safe and sound.

Sorry @rubyroot but I laughed at you offering to pay the midwife double! I also said some really stupid shit (way worse) when high on pethidine 😂

@Amanda81 I won't have this midwife at the birth, will just see her at my appointments. Now not until 28 weeks because I'm a second time mum, although have a scan and glucose appointment, as well as the consultant before that. I go to these appointments on my own, husband comes to scans only, as they are actually quite boring!

Anyway, I understand the scan anxiety, my next one is tomorrow (back to the Fetal Medicine Centre for another private one before I go in holiday!) and I still dread them. I still can't believe I've got this far and can still imagine it all ending.

My SPD/PGP is down my inner thighs and in my lower back/tail bone. I was advised today to keep my legs together (haha!), not cross them and sleep with a pillow between them. I still need a GP app so hopefully will get more info/support. It's really painful today.

I know @Bluebelltulip- no warning that it was two hours or what it involved! I did think to complain but the lady I saw in the end was so lovely I don't want to!

@sadtoday21 I had no morning sickness with my DD, maybe a few days here and there, but nothing that lasted long. She is now two!

Hi graduates,

May I join please? I've come over from the penguin huddle thread on the conception boards.

I lost my twin son and daughter at 19 weeks gestation in January this year. I've since had two chemicals (in March and May). On 15th July I got my BFP and I'm 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow and having my first scan on Monday.

Looking forward to sharing this journey with you all and equally looking forward to more from the TTC huddle joining us here soon.

May we all have very happy and healthy pregnancies!

@Squiff70 it's so lovely to see you on here! Really hope this is your rainbow xx

@Squiff70 what a horrendous thing to go through. Sorry for your loss. Hoping this is your rainbow x.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue no worries, it was there to be laughed at 👍

Welcome @Squiff70.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue and @Amanda81. For SPD/PGP the advice @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue had is good, I'd also add rotating to get out of the car keeping legs together, not bending down too much and going up or down stairs with both feet using each step. Also listen to your body if something hurts try not do it the same way or continue, with mine it was fairly tricky as I didn't get pain at the time of doing something. In DD2's pregnancy mine got better with physio then plateaued so it doesn't necessarily get worse. This pregnancy it's better than this stage last time but still there.

I went to a friend's wedding last night and felt fine there but been shattered today.

Hi, may I also join?

Had 3 mcs in 2016/2017 then DS was born 2018. Started trying for number 2 this January and had 3 mcs since then, all early. Got a bfp on Monday (and Tuesday, and 2 today!) and really hoping this is our second rainbow.

Taking aspirin each day as recommended by dr, have been waiting for a gynae appt (no specific rmc here) to get results of blood tests and come up with a plan. Got a gp appt next week if all still seems to be going well.