Catching up with those from TTC thread 5!

[Tropicana1]

Took me ages to work out my post wouldn't work because the last thread was full!!

@MrsEG @MrsC87 @Fivebyfive2 @Delilah7 @EltzBee @Crossfitgirl @CobaltRose96 @BabySquid @LikeTheFruit @daisiesandpeonies

(Runs back to old thread for more names... bloody baby brain!)

@Fivebyfive2 - I guess we could; I’m just worried about the baby flying for that amount of time and picking something up, bug wise.
I don’t think going is feasible, but I’m a natural problem solver so I always look to figure out how we make things work.
I do think not going is the best option. It’s just something I couldn’t imagine, but that’s life! Xx

@ELW85 It is hard, but as you say, it’s life! We had a few friends miss our wedding due to either being pregnant or having babies too small (one gave birth the following day!) - people will understand. We’re gutted to be missing the wedding in March but what can you do. No judgement at all, I actually think you’re clearly being a fabulous friend - my immediate reaction when we got our invite was ‘no chance!’ Haha!

So I just caught sight of myself in the downstairs mirror leaving for work - don’t think this dress is hiding my belly as much as I thought it was!! Oh well - I’ll just hide behind my desk all day!

@MrsEG - thank you so much for being so kind and balanced :)
You look amazing!! The cutest bump 💕

@ELW85 I would say it's all too soon after birth to manage to go unfortunately. Eight weeks after your due date could be just six weeks after birth. If you're breastfeeding baby will be entirely reliant on you and even with formula feeding you'd be asking a huge amount of somebody to look after a tiny baby for that length of time. You're also likely to be really emotional and not want to leave them anyway. You'd be constantly worried and it's not the sort of place you can pop back from if baby was struggling or poorly. And as for taking baby, I wouldn't want to take a tiny one somewhere so far flung and I imagine it would be advised against before baby had got their 8 week jabs. I also can't think that posing a newborn for a fast track passport would be particularly easy Then add in your comfort levels being on a plane for so long whilst you're potentially still healing, bleeding and leaking. I admire your problem solving nature but I think this one just poses too many problems. Like somebody else said, buy them a fabulous present and perhaps offer to take them out and celebrate when they're home :)

@ELW85 My own sister who was my MOH was 7.5 months pregnant at my wedding and had a broken rib on the day, she went to bed at 9pm and tells me now she hated every second of it hahaha. I didn’t notice at all, she put on a brave face! Like others have said, could you arrange a fab present, maybe even a day you could enjoy with her when she’s back, a spa or meal out or something?

@TrashKitten10 @MrsEG @PippaPug

You’re all right, I don’t think I could bring myself to be away from the baby, and it’s just not feasible.
I feel awful for even trying to find a solution. Xx

@stormtrooperjulian I think I'll just see how I feel re: mat leave. I'm self-employed, and I won't be starting mat allowance until just before due date, so I don't really need to decide until the time comes around.

@Fivebyfive2 sorry to hear you've been the same, though it's nice to know I'm not alone! I don't know if it's because I'm back to eating how I used to eat pre-pregnancy now i.e. much healthier, way more fibre etc. You'd think it'd go the other way though! Gahhh. So glam.

@MrsR16 ooo eBay is great - you can even get maternity bundles.

@MrsEG Have you seen the second season? We binged it last/this week. So good. I don't know why I'm so bothered about pet hair - I think it's because I spend so much time at home (thus potentially covered in pet hair), it just makes me feel really daggy. Luckily neither of their hairs stick much to denim. So I'm usually in jeans or some form of Lycra exercise getup (and very much not exercising atm). What bread did you get?!!? I'm v into sourdough at the mo. P.S. Your bump is just gorgeous!! And I just love your outfit today. Is that the New Look pinafore?

@ELW85 please, please don't feel like a bad person for asking - this is all new to all of us! And you don't want to start on the #MumGuilt already . There's nothing remotely wrong with asking the question, looking at the possible answers and trying to find a solution. It's a sensible, rational approach. Personally, I wouldn't go as there are too many unknowns (e.g. Will I be breastfeeding? Will I have recovered from birth? Would I be OK with being away for a week from my newborn? What kind of baby will I have?)...and that would all just stress me out too much. This is a much smaller example, but we're supposed to be going to this big friend reunion weekend three hours from home, which I was sooooo looking forward to - but it's 2 weeks after due date and like @MrsEG, I've just said no as I don't want to put any pressure on myself. I'd rather just make the decision now, be kind to my future self and save her the hassle of worrying/fretting about it closer to the time and make peace with it. If you decide not to go, your friend will understand. This is a huge, profound, life-altering shift you're going through! I hope that helps and I really, really hope you stop feeling guilty! x

Thank you, @purplefig - your reply actually made me cry a little (blaming the hormones!) you’ve made me feel so much better, you all have, so thank you for your support and understanding xx

@ELW85 hormones are a legit excuse for the next 9 months . In all seriousness though, I think women are so prone to feeling guilty about things - all you did was ask a question!! I listened to an episode of the Parent Hood podcast the other day about being kind to ourselves, and the interviewee said guilt can be split into two categories: unreasonable guilt and reasonable guilt. If it's unreasonable guilt you need to find a way to let it go and stop ruminating on it. And if it's reasonable guilt, you need to make changes. I thought that was a very pragmatic approach to a lofty, vague concept. Right - I'll stop harping on now. Big hugs. xxx

@purplefig - please don’t apologise, that definitely wasn’t harping on!
You’re so right in that it’s totally new to me and I’m just asking a question to understand how feasible a solution is.
I’ll stop giving myself a hard time. By lunchtime, I think! Xx

@ELW85 Don’t feel bad at all; it’s only natural to want to try and be there (who wouldn’t love a wedding trip to Mexico?!)

@purplefig We got an olive loaf, oh lord it was divine! Yep this is the new look pinny! Really roomy and comfy but defo shows off the bump haha! Yeah, I think as we have a husky mix the hair is just next level, it’s so wiry and just gets everywhere - if I worried about it being on my clothes I’d literally never be able to wear anything haha!

@ELW85 It's officially way past lunchtime (my new lunchtime is 12pm on the dot) so you better have stopped feeling guilty

@MrsEG oh christ that sounds divine. Want want want. I'm making a stew tonight to match this weird and gloomy weather. Glad the new look dress is comfy - bump looks great in it. Yeah I need to get over the pet hair thing really .

@daisiesandpeonies sounds like it could be round ligament pain? Google it and see if it sounds right.... I've had that pretty badly on occasion, particularly towards the end of the 1st trimester

@ELW85 I hope you've stopped worrying about attending that wedding? As lovely as a wedding in Mexico would be, there's no way I'd consider leaving my baby so soon for so long and the logistics of getting a passport for a newborn then traveling before vaccinations would put me off taking the baby with me. You have to make the decision that's right for you.

I tried Ben and Jerry's Birthday Cake last night and it was amazing, thank you ladies for the recommendation

I went for a swim this morning and for the first time I really appreciated being able to move around normally rather than feeling so big and clumsy like I do on dry land. I really recommend swimming in the third trimester!

@MrsEG gorgeous bump 😍
@ELW85 that's really tough and sad. Only you know what's best - please don't feel guilty. Personally I think it's a big ask to go to Mexico 8 weeks after giving birth. And if you're MOH you will be super busy, it's not like being an ordinary guest. If you did book it and then needed to cancel, it would be even more disappointing for her as well as a waste for you. I do know someone who took a very new baby long haul for a holiday, so I think it's OK health wise, but they took their nanny with them! Not sure if most couples would want to shell out that kind of £££ with a new born to care for. I'm sure there's loads you could do to help out your bestie and be there for her at the UK end 😊

@stormtrooperjulian I'm fairly certain that's what it was. Completely stopped today!

@purplefig It was delicious! Ooh stew sounds so good, I can’t wait til I can stomach warm food again! I feel like I’m getting there a bit - managed a burrito which obvs had warm rice and beans but the cheese, wrap and guac really cooled it down. I only needed a handful of sweets after to take the horrid taste away. Baby steps!
Haha - it’s me who should probably have more pride haha, the state of my hairy boot when I take the car to be cleaned sometimes - the guys faces just drop. I always just shrug and say ‘I know this will cost me extra, don’t worry’ and make sure I tip!!

@stormtrooperjulian I need to try this ice cream!! Glad you enjoyed your swim - I hear it can make you feel really weightless in the third tri, which sounds delightful!

@daisiesandpeonies I get round ligament pain, especially when I sneeze and cough, really makes my eyes water! Hope all is okay.

So I had a fun day today! I manage two girls at work, and one told me today she is 8 weeks pregnant. She said she’d been wracking her brains on how to break the news to me as she wanted to be sensitive and didn’t want to upset me given what I’ve been through. So I just told her my news as well - her face was brilliant! She was over the moon for me, as I am for her. I now have a work twin for my pregnancy!

@stormtrooperjulian I got a brand new speedo maternity swimming costume on eBay the other day (for £1.50!!!!!) for this exact purpose. Thanks for reminding me I need to pick a day and go. I think I'm going to stick to pregnancy yoga, swimming and dog walks. Need to keep moving as my current instinct is to just lie down and never get up

@MrsEG ohhh I forgot you can only do cold food at the moment - hopefully you'll be back on warm stuff for autumn. A burrito is definitely a step in the right direction! HAHAHA - I'm sure they really don't mind given you tip. Ours is so bloody malty at the moment, daily tumbleweeds of hair requiring daily hoovering. Urghh. Ahhh that is so, so, so lovely about your work friend! I'm so chuffed for you both!! It'll be so lovely having a work pregnancy twin. I messaged one of my oldest friends to tell her the news and she got straight back saying..."congratulations...me too!!". It's the best

Organised women who have already got prams/pushchairs - talk to me! How did you research the one you ended up with? I'm planning to buy mine secondhand, so I feel like going into mothercare will be a bit pointless as it'll be the newest models - or are they basically the same bar a few upgrades i.e. this would still be worthwhile? I've been scouring the pushchair board and everyone seems to repeatedly mention:

• Bugaboo cameleon (*@MrsEG* or the donkey for double...which is a side by side)
• Uppababy Vista
• iCandy Peach
• Silver Cross Pioneer

@purplefig It’s so fab, nice to know there’ll be others you know whilst on mat leave too!

Pram-wise, when looking at actual user experience on the Bugaboo most people slated it for being too big/heavy. I don’t think there’s any harm in trying a few out beforehand as I really don’t think they make that many upgrades over the years, really! My sister has the Silver Cross - she says if she could do it again she’d get something different - her main bug bears being it isn’t that great to handle (take it off pavement and it’s a nightmare) and is pretty huge in her boot too. She actually wishes she’d got a Mamas and Papas one as her friend has that and it’s lovely and compact with massive wheels.

I’d say shop around a bit and try and few and see which feel nice; also have a list of your ‘must-haves’ (all terrain, fit in a small boot, etc) and an advisor can then help you out!

@purplefig - I would recommend going to try a few out at John Lewis before looking second hand places (Facebook market place is a good place to look)

I personally dislike bugaboos (sorry for anyone who has them!) as I find them so big and bulky and not great for steering, and a lot of money.

The buggy I’m looking at getting is a uppababy Cruz or Vista - the lay down base is suitable for night sleeping, has a good basket, can push it one handed, reclines well, big hood which also has sun protecter, adjustable handles, study but not to heavy....my only criticism is that when the child gets to around 2ish their legs have to go over the bar on the seat but the children don’t ever seem to mind it.

I also like the mini city jogger as it lays completely flat, can fold it one handed, semi decent basket, good for off roading!

Wow, this chat moves quickly!

@MrsEG Twins, wow!!! Glad to read it's the least complicated type of twin pregnancy. And non-identical means you could have two of one sex or two different, doesn't it? It will be exciting to find out! Do you intend to before they arrive? I always wanted to be a twin myself; I wanted a boy twin particularly but would have taken either 😂 My poor childhood self when I realised it was too late 😂🙈

@MrsR16 All going well here and today I swear I can see my bump moves when the baby kicks sometimes! Haven't thrown up on a few days which is also a plus 😂 Though looking at the time I will need to prepare soon food soon if I intend to keep this streak going!

@PippaPug I'm 21 weeks with a girl 😁❤️ And I wouldn't worry at all about having nausea that doesn't translate to vomit - my MIL, Nana and cousin were all the same and MIL was actually quite baffled when she heard I was actually hurling, genuinely thought something was wrong with me! It's just different for everyone. Also my cousin had lots of nausea and no vomiting on her first pregnancy and vomited round the clock on her second, so it seems it varies from one baby to the next too!

@purplefig One of the reasons we picked the Uppababy Vista was its capacity to manage on different terrains. We live near a big town and within an hour of a city, but we are in the countryside by the seaside and anticipate spending a lot of time in parks and gardens or on semi-rough country roads!

@TrashKitten10 That's so funny - the green was actually my top choice, until we saw the white so shiny and at such a nice discounted price 😉😁 The green is fab too. I have assembled mine in the (otherwise empty) baby's room just so I can pop in and look at it 🙈😂 There's space as I have no other furniture in there yet!

@purplefig definitely go to a big Mothercare or similar and try a few out - push them around, collapse them, try the car seat attachment etc. We needed an all terrain one and after loads of research we went for the Mamas and Papas Ocarro.

Several people recommended Bugaboo to me but neither DH or I liked them at all

@purplefig I've got the Silver Cross Pioneer and it is absolutely beautiful! It has everything I could possibly ever want, and I'll be able to manage the weight of it as well (I'm normally quite fit, and haven't lost too much strength while I've been pregnant!) however, it's worth looking at the new models to try them out and get a feel. Someone (I forget who, sorry!!) posted earlier about being recommended the Bugaboo brand and not liking it - I completely agree! DH and I hated it!

@Fuiseog I've definitely seen baby kick, so it won't be your imagination! DH loves watching it (although gets bored very quickly!) 😊 my placenta's at the back, so I get to feel everything and see lots of movement which is great. Generally about 10pm at night is when it's most active and I get to watch it, but it's lovely having those moments of movements at work, especially as I'm having a hard time there at the moment...

@purplefig, agree with the other ladies on here, definitely go into the shops to try them out! You can still buy it from elsewhere 🙂

It's Fri tomorrow!! Anyone got weekend plans?? Xxx

@purplefig @MrsEG @daisiesandpeonies @stormtrooperjulian - thank you; I’ve stopped feeling bad (just after lunch 😂) and just wrote it off as inexperience and trying to find a solution.
I’ll go to the evening reception when she’s back and I do know she’ll understand.
I know that I couldn’t leave the baby emotionally or probably physically but that’s just life and timing happens.

I hope you’ve all had a lovely evening?

@stormtrooperjulian - I’ve also just had some Birthday Cake ice cream, pleases you enjoyed it!

@Fuiseog Yep, exactly that - I am basically having two pregnancies at the same time! Two eggs, two sperm, growing in separate sacs - so could be one of each or both the same, 50/50 chance of either! Yes definitely going to find out, I can’t wait actually! Haha that’s so funny you wanted to be a twin! My sisters best friend is a twin and always hated it for some reason - once we let people know I need to pick her brains as to why!! I do remember they were always dressed the same, were always in the same class etc so perhaps they just got a bit sick of each other!!

@MrsR16 Sorry you’re having a hard time at work :( Are you coping okay at least until mat leave begins? Hope it’s nothing too stressful x

@Fivebyfive2 DH is taking me on a treasure hunt this weekend! He’s done them before and we have clues to solve around the city - he’s such a nerd but I was a bit hormonal the other day moaning that my social life has become non-existent so he dreamt this up :)