Catching up with those from TTC thread 5!

[Tropicana1]

Took me ages to work out my post wouldn't work because the last thread was full!!

@MrsEG @MrsC87 @Fivebyfive2 @Delilah7 @EltzBee @Crossfitgirl @CobaltRose96 @BabySquid @LikeTheFruit @daisiesandpeonies

(Runs back to old thread for more names... bloody baby brain!)

@Fivebyfive2 If you’re the first, you’re in a fab position! We’ve planned for SMP but there’s just this niggle in my mind of ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’! They’re such a family friendly workplace too with a huge focus on work life balance and sometimes I just think as it’s not something they deal with a lot they just haven’t thought that much about it? It’s a thought for much further down the line for me yet though! Good luck with your discussions :)

@Fivebyfive2 & @MrsEG in your discussions with management, mention the fact they get 92% of SMP back from the gov when paying over their PAYE monthly so a little extra won't cost them that much extra coz of the £148.68 SMP per week, they're only forking out £11.89 per week, and that's if they don't qualify for small employers tax relief. If they do then they can reclaim 103%! So they'd get back more than they pay out.
Hope this both makes sense and helps. Xx

@BabySquid That’s so interesting thank you!! They are so good with us on everything else (bonuses, salary reviews etc) so I’m cautiously optimistic I could get at least a little something :)

@MrsEG ours is pretty good, we get the standard 90% for the first 6 weeks, then SMP + 50% of your salary from weeks 7-18 then just SMP from weeks 19-39 so it eases you into being poor gently!

@BabySquid Oh that’s fab! We’ve been saving like mad but the money side of things does still worry me at times. My sister got 6 months full pay before going on to SMP!! Shes absolutely one of the (very!) lucky ones though!

Hope everyone is doing fab today - any big weekend plans? I have none - might pop to our makers market at the weekend and take the dog for a long walk somewhere but nothing proper planned at all!

@MrsEG, I'm thinking of asking for 6 months full pay! I don't think I'll get that, but I know they'll probably 'haggle' so thought if I go in high, I've got room to manoeuvre without seeming like I won't budge? Also, I was scheduled quite a good pay rise in September because I've had to step into a more demanding position due to someone leaving suddenly. So I'm thinking of saying if they'll give me 6 months paid, I will stay on what I'm on now and get a rise when I'm back, as like a compromise?? What do you think? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 Definitely go in high and just expect to meet in the middle somewhere! You’ve got nothing to lose :)

@BabySquid modern reusable nappies are nothing like the old terry nappies from way back, can get ones now that are basically just like a disposable that you Velcro / popper closed, then chuck a load in the washing machine every couple of days

@Fivebyfive2 @purplefif the issue with biodegradable ones is that they still don’t degrade in landfil, you have to compost them in a particular way, otherwise you may as well just use regular disposables
www.madeformums.com/reviews/do-biodegradable-nappies-biodegrade/
I did some research into it before I decided on reusables

My work offer 14 weeks full pay then SMP. So not great but not terrible. I’m the high earner in our house though so it’s going to be tight for a few months, I may have to go back early if we struggle too much. We wanted to get some savings build up but because our renovation work has taken to much longer than expected it’s eaten through all our savings and now we don’t have time to build them up again

@stormtrooperjulian yeah I knew they'd have had to moved on in the last 30 years! But it's all my mum knows and everyone else I know used disposables. My brother gf works in a nursery with babies tho and has a lot of experience with reusables.

@stormtrooperjulian oh that's frustrating about the biodegradable ones. How does it work with washing them though? What do you do with the, er, contents?! And if you just leave them for a few days - what about the smell?

@Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG It's definitely worth asking for more, the worst they can do is say no and then you're in no different of a position anyway.

How long are you guys planning to take maternity leave? I'm going to try and take the full 9 months I think. As a freelancer I'll be on Maternity Allowance (same as Statutory Maternity Pay) but luckily our outgoings are fairly low and DH is on an OK wage, so I think we can make it work. After that I'm going to go back part-time and hopefully cobble together childcare from my parents and maybe a bit of nursery, but I'm not sure on the latter as it's so expensive!

@purplefig There’s so, so much info here - this is the website I was directed to by my friend: www.thenappylady.co.uk/

I’m hoping to take 11 months; it’ll be a stretch but with annual leave allowance also I think I should just make it work. Going back I haven’t even thought about as I now have childcare for two to think of! I’ll worry about that when I have to haha.

@stormtrooperjulian I’m the high earner at home too, we’ve tried to save as much as we can and I’m kicking that in to overdrive now (no holidays for us this year!) We so badly need the bathroom re-doing but it’s just going to have to wait! Although DH has taken to playing the EuroMillions every week - hey, someone has to win 🤞🏻

@MrsEG ooo thanks for the link. Ahh 11 months - that'll be lovely! And fingers crossed for the lottery win...be handy given childcare costs in this country!

For anyone wondering what I was wondering, great info here thanks to @MrsEG: www.thenappylady.co.uk/news/all-about-dirty-nappies.html + www.thenappylady.co.uk/news/using-washing-cloth-nappies/a-beginners-guide-to-using-your-cloth-nappies.html Basically poo gets caught on liner, which can be flushed down the loo. Then the lightly soiled nappies can get rinsed over the toilet, then get chucked in a nappy bin and then in the wash as and when. Tbf, it doesn't actually sound as bad as I thought, though definitely more faff than disposables. Buuuut you're not contributing to landfill.

@purplefig there's a liner that goes inside which you can get that's like paper that you just flush down the loo with all its contents haha.
My mum said you use a liner, the nappy, then you can get like rubber type pants that go over to trap everything in - May have changed since then tho as I'm almost 30!

@MrsEG, I'm also hoping to take 11 months, finish in Dec and go back in Nov. I think even on smp, with holidays and our savings we could just about do it, but if we can get a package from my work it would help so much!

Interesting to see how many of us are the high earners... I am as well, but at my work I'm seen as something of an oddity!! Xx

Hi all, hope everyone is OK! Happy Weekend 🙂

So I sent the email to my manager, just got to see what they come back with!

@BabySquid, good luck at the wedding, hope it's a lovely day!

@stormtrooperjulian, thanks for the info on the bio degradable nappies, I should have known it was too good to be true!!

Did anyone have / is thinking of having a scan around the 17 week mark? Only ask because the place where we had the 9 week reassurance scan emailed me to say because we had one there, we any others would be at a reduced price. We have our 20 week scan in 5 weeks so probably no need... But it's still tempting just see the baby again!

Today we start the process of tidying/sorting the house a little to make room for baby related things 🙂

How are all you lovely ladies?

@Delilah7, how are you getting on sweet? Hope Ethan is doing well? How are you finding everything? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 how are you more to the point hun?
I'm ok. Still getting used to the sleeping routine now but it's a lot easier than the first week. Ethan's now 7lb 6 and a half so he's doing well! Plus all I'll say is ladies when you have your babies make sure you get out. Best thing I've been doing is fresh air and getting used to going out alone.

Ethan is a month old today!

@Delilah7, that's awesome!! Even though it will be wintery when mine comes I'm determined to get out and about as much as I can!! I'm good thanks sweet, we've started buying little bits, got a couple of things 2nd hand from people we know. Including a baby monitor, which dh has suggested 'testing' with our cat 😂 Just trying to get organised really, we have so much crap to get rid of to make space in what will be the nursery!! X

@Fivebyfive2 re the scan, I'd wait till like 30 weeks, breaks up the time from the 20 weeks scan and actually meeting baby. Also, I hear you I'm having loads to sort out, our second room/will be nursery is just our dumping ground with another bed in! Got a king size bed to get rid of, two long chest of drawers and a tall chest of drawers. Also need to take my massive doll house that my grandad made (in 1998) to the MIL's for the time being.
@Delilah7 good to hear from you Ethan is such a smiler. I mean look at that happy little face!! 🥰

The wedding is at 3:00 and so far the weekend has been great, the groom (one of my closest friends) already knows I'm pregnant so I don't have to hide not drinking from him. Which is a relief when the JD hip flask has already been passed around at breaky!!
Hope everyone else has a great weekend.

@Fivebyfive2 defo do. I went slightly mad and more emotional staying in. It's so hard the first week but it does get easier! aww bless you. I'll probably be selling stuff when you guys need things 😂 xx

@BabySquid how are you?!? he has wind unfortunately as I don't THINK he's properly smiled yet. But hopefully sometime soon!! Xxx

@Delilah7 he is just gorgeous 😍 glad to hear that you're feeling better and getting out and about.
Maternity leave is so confusing! I'm not too sure how it works with me as I'm not going to go back (haven't told them this yet obviously!) so am not sure when I should give notice as I don't want to end up having to pay lots of it back. Also I don't want them to advertise for maternity cover knowing they actually just need a new person, which is always much easier to find. Is anyone else planning on taking a break from work?

@Fivebyfive2 I am scheduled to have scans every 2-4 weeks! But my sister didn’t brother with a 16-week as she said not much would have changed; she instead had a 4D scan at 30 weeks as baby was so developed then and it broke up the wait after 20 weeks too!

@Delilah7 He is so so adorable!! Hope you’re doing well lovely x

@BabySquid Enjoy the wedding!

@daisiesandpeonies I’d love to, but financially we just couldn’t afford it! I’d say have a good read of your company maternity policy and see what it says. If you don’t have to pay anything back, take the mat leave and then hand in your notice at the end of it.

I have really felt awful these past 24 hours; nausea has been really bad, cannot stop peeing, very lethargic and tired. Feel like I’m getting my ass kicked a bit! Got my booking in appt this week so will mention it to the MW as my complete lack of activity and eating all the carbs is getting me down a bit.

Have good weekends all!

@MrsEG, I hope you feel better soon xx Try not to be so hard on yourself on the food/exercise aspect... You're growing 2 people afterall!! Xx

@BabySquid, glad the wedding weekend is going so well, hope you have an awesome evening! Maybe we should all start an online shop to get rid of our clutter?! 🤔

@daisiesandpeonies, could you try citizen's advice? We plan to go and chat to them when we're sure what I'm getting from work, to help clarify what the best way forward is. Good luck!! Xx

Ladies, my discounted box of bio degradable stuff arrived! 4 packs of nappies and 6 big packs of wipes, so quite pleased! Apparently the nappies degrade in 4 years instead of 100, but not sure how accurate that is. It's the beaming baby company in case anyone else have tried them?

@delilah7 he is so cute. A month already?! Gone so fast