The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@Amanda81 lovey scan pic and great they showed you some elements of the baby’s functions :) when you do 20w scan all of that gets looked with in fine detail.

No those symptoms didn’t really return, and that’s normal. You’ll find now things like increased thirst, possibly increased hunger, possibly food cravings for salty or sweet foods ( I didn’t really have any of those though either) but the symptoms change as baby is now fully formed, all it has to do is grow bigger to survive outside of you. The advice is to make the most of this time where you feel well, start planning what you need even if you don’t buy, bump will soon be making an appearance and you should have 16w check booked soon where you will hear the heartbeat :) stay positive, your well on you way now xx

@Newbie21 could be a good shout to tell work given the circumstances.

@tinatsarina glad you feel better for telling work too. OHs can find it hard when we worry so much but all you can do is try and have days where you enjoy it more than you worry xx

Booked a scan for this afternoon

I definitely feel what others have said about seeing blood sending me into a bad place. I just couldn’t cope and feel like if I did DTD I wouldn’t be into it. It’s not like DH is pressuring me or anything, he is happy as long as I am happy, so I might just carry on as normal and see if the second trimester hormones kick in again!

I’m 14 weeks tomorrow and had a big bleed with DD around this time so I am panicking. But that said, I bled all the way from 6 weeks with her, I am not sure how I coped but then I hadn’t experienced any losses then. I really hope I don’t have any bleeding this time, the meer thought of it petrifies me.

@Bluebelltulip what a lovely story. I am sorry you are feeling so down. Ride the emotions and please share your memories with us whenever you want. Have your Drs said anything about the short gap between DD and this pregnancy or are you just worrying? I don’t know much so can’t offer any advice but I am sending hugs as this has been such a journey for you.

@moonpeace wonderful to hear from you and to hear your scan went well! 10 weeks is a great milestone but I understand your anxiety all too well. We are all here if and when you need to chat.

@Amanda81 great scan pic and great to hear baby girl is doing well! I still feel sick at nearly 14 weeks and spend lots of time hoping it goes away. But then I understand the fear when you feel like nothing is going on!

How are you today @yukka? Do you feel prepared? Do you have everything you need?

@Newbie21 that sounds super stressful and probably not what you need on top of all the anxiety and worry we are all going through! I am not sure where you stand legally, however I told my boss quite early simply because I feel it is better for support and understanding, not only if things are to go wrong but in terms of feeling ill, performance, etc. So I would suggest telling them but I am sure someone who is better placed to advise will be along soon. Good on you @tinatsarina for taking the plunge!

Good luck @nzs2019! What time is your scan for?

Thankyou @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue
It's at 4.15. I just couldn't wait so booked it for this afternoon.

I've booked it at a private clinic.. does anyone know what happens if they do find something wrong? Whenever it happened before I felt comfortable as was in epu

@nzs2019 it was at a private scan last year I found out about MMC. They were lovely and very kind, however ultimately they will refer you back to your hospital so I ended up having to go to EPU with a letter for a further scan to confirm. These places are trained in the good and bad so they will know how to handle a difficult situation. That said, I am sure you have nothing to worry about and will be thinking of you this afternoon xxx

@Frillyfarmer I have lost count of the number of times I've POAS in the last 3.5 weeks. A ridiculous amount basically. It's totally normal to feel the need. I won't tell you to step away from the tests because that'd make me a hyprocrite.

@Yukka I also have sterimar nasal spray, it's an irrigation spray isn't it. I use Beconase which I was told is safe in pregnancy, well GP prescribed it in pregnancy #1 for me.

@Zznorth thank you. Sorry you've been so busy, has that helped as a distraction? Good luck for your scan tomorrow! We're a day apart. This is my 3rd pregnancy but 1st time I've seen a heartbeat. Fx you have the same!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue is the harmony test worth doing?

@VenusStarr 🤞🤞🤞 for next week!

@moonpeace thank you. Totally natural to feel that way. Great that your scan was really positive but the anxiety is still there and not surprising given what you (we) have experienced. One day at a time. You will get there and hopefully reach a point soon where you feel more confident about this pregnancy.

@Bluebelltulip sending you lots of virtual hugs.

@Newbie21 sorry you have this added stress. As a senior HR manager I'll advise you to tell work to be protected, it will make it far harder for them to select you for redundancy. You won't be immune from it but it does give some protections and employers often will be extra cautious so as not to end up at an ET for pregnancy and maternity discrimination.

@Amanda81 lovely scan photo ❤

@nzs2019 fx your scan went well!

Hi @KnitKitty thanks for asking after me.

I'm doing ok. 13+3 today, and trying to not let the anxiety get to me! Dating scan last week went really well and we got our screening results today which shows bub is low risk (1 in 5843 for downs, 1 in 100,000 for Edwards/patau's) so that's fab!

Appointments aren't easy, particularly the booking and dating scan as it was in a different part of the hospital to the epau and with midwives/sonographer I'd never met, and my usual nurse wasn't there. So my anxiety ramps up, new place, people who don't know my issues etc, but I'm getting there with my fellas support. I've been put on the high risk pathway because of my anxiety so loads of appointments. Another reassurance scan next week, 16 week midwife appt in 3 weeks, consultant appt the week after then anomaly scan mid August.

I'm trying not to get too excited, obv things can still go wrong but I really want to enjoy it. I have been brave and bought a couple of things for me for when I get bigger in the Jojo sale, and I had to buy new bras as I was getting quad boobage...nothing yet for little bee.

I'm feeling ok-still tired but burping has reduced a bit! No bump really, just look thicker round the middle but then I didn't have a flat tum-I'm a two tyre lass (even though I'm classed as normal bmi wise).

Due date 6/1...but I'm having an elective section which should be at 39 weeks so Poss a New Years baby!

Oh and loved your dreams-sound ace!!!

Lots of love to everyone else...good luck with your scan @nzs2019 xxx

I'm am absolutely over the moon. I've never reached this stage. Got to see and hear heartbeat and baby was wriggling. I'm more than I though they've put me at 8+4.
I've never smiled so much.

@nzs2019 that is fantastic news! Thrilled for you. So nice to be further along. Lovely photo.

Ladies those of you who have had early scans/scans - in the hours and day(s) after did you find there was a fair amount of twinges, some quite strong twinges in the lower abdomen and groin area?

I had both over tummy and tv scans yesterday although best picture was actually from over tummy.

@nzs2019 good news about your scan.

@InDreamland thank you. I've never had a TV scan but think I've heard people say they had discomfort after.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, consultant said at DD2's review appointment that we didn't need to wait for medical reasons and to try when we felt ready. I meant more that if DD2 was still here and I was pregnant I would be looking at 2 under 1 which would be a handful.

@nzs2019 yay! Great news on the scan and being dated past 8 weeks is also good, big drop in mc risk if heartbeat seen after 8 weeks. Glad you went xx

@Laney79 good to see your update and things are going well, anxiety is always tough but you actually sound strong and good that hospital is offering extra support. I found pregnancy yoga really helpful as it taught me breathing techniques which help to keep you calm and it transitioned really well when I started hypnobirthing practice.

Im good today thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue been doing a spot of cleaning and organising and went for last hair appointment. I think we have everything we need, I packed the hospital bag and just one or two more bits to go in. Started to buy a few nursing clothes for afterwards, it's like we do everything in stages don't we :). I was a bit down/worried after consulting appt yesterday cos of how much they laid on about the duration and pain severity of being induced, but went back to the hypnobirthing principles today and reminded myself that I should ignore all of that, and just prepare to deal with whatever happens in a positive light.

Check out Hollie De Cruz if anyone is interested, and it's never too early to start, to be honest it's mostly informing you about what your body does birth and a positive stance on the whole thing.

Sorry that should say ' what your body does during birth' not what your body births as obviously that's a baby (or alien, frog, arm 😂😂)

@InDreamland I did have some extra pain the next day with my early scans as they actually put quite a lot pressure to get the view with everything being so small in the first few weeks. Those ligaments take a battering early on even though baby is tiny x

I'm glad your scan went well @nzs2019! Lovely scan photo too :)

@InDreamland I get weird twinges in my groin area when I've been standing all day - apparently it's part of round ligament pain (there are more ligaments than the internet leads you to believe according to the gynaecologist I saw the other night). So perhaps the internal scan has triggered that for you? I also felt a bit tender in my lower abdomen after some early abdominal scans.

@Amanda81 and @nzs2019 lovely scans!

Thanks everyone for the advice and kind words. I spoke to my Dad also who used to be an HR director and worked for ACAS and he advised me to tell them as I have more to lose in not telling them. So I sent an email as my immediate boss is on holiday but I copied his boss who is my ultimate boss and likely the decision maker on the redundancy front and she sent a nice message back. Important thing is, they now know. Naturally I now think I jinxed it which is ridiculous but fingers crossed.

On the sex life - also not had Sex since knowing pregnant. DH would like to but understands and doesn't want to risk MC either given 3 MCs last year. Not sure when I will be more willing.

Sorry @Bluebelltulip I misunderstood but that makes sense now. You have been through so much it's natural to have these thoughts and comparisons of what life could have been. I know you will never forget your lovely DD but I also know the days get easier for you. You are so strong.

Glad to hear all is well @Laney79! I'm going to have an elective section this birth too! So I also might have a festive/new year baby! I told the midwife I wanted one due to a hideous induction/birth which resulted in an EMCS last time. From what I hear electives can be lovely, calm experiences! I recovered quite quickly from my EMCS and that was after a three day induction and horrible labour with no sleep! I am hoping this will be a better experience!

Soooo exciting @Yukka! I did hypnobirthing last time and think the principles can be applied to any birth scenario. Great for keeping calm and retaining some sort of control, although admittedly mine did go out of the window! 😂 Birth is so unknown but ultimately whatever happens as long as bubs gets here safely it doesn't matter. It took me months to get over my "failed birth" and now I couldn't give a shiny shit as it got me DD! You have such a positive mindset and outlook that I am sure you will handle it like a boss! I know you've absolutely got this so please don't worry.

@InDreamland for me I did the Harmony test as I was worried about my age being a factor in the NHS tests and because it is supposedly more accurate. I also wanted to find out about any risks as soon as possible.

Amazing news @nzs2019! So pleased for you! Another lovely blob!

Glad to hear you told work @Newbie21! Think of it as a positive not a jinx. Oh and nice to hear from another one with no sex life right now!!!

@nzs2019 congrats! Brilliant news

Great news on the scan @nzs2019
Lovely looking bean shaping up nicely

@Yukka when they decided to induce me and explained it all to me I was so upset - I really didn't want a heavily involved process like that, I did hypnobirthing and I envisaged my waters going and home and having that movie-style exciting rush to the hospital.

My induction was long because I wasn't ready to go, and I think that was the worst part - at my hospital once the pessary was in, I wasn't allowed to leave.

People can tell you many things about induction but it's how you cope with it. I'm fairly average in terms of my pain threshold and I laboured for 27 hours on gas and air having been put on a hormone drip - it hurt but I felt every part of it and it really is amazing how your body know exactly what to do when it needs to. The hypnobirthing will help you no end, if nothing else it will help you control and calm all the feelings you get with each contraction.

Thank you @Frillyfarmer appreciate that. I won't be allowed home either once they start. I'm focussing at the moment on being ready and staying excited for the day, plus acupuncture between now and then will help anyway.

You never know at 2/5ths engaged already nature might take its course! Just been having Braxton hicks I think 🤔 x

@Bluebelltulip @Yukka @Beaglemum93 thanks for sharing that info, I was worried as the twinges are stronger today, especially during my gym class.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I might consider the harmony test. The midwife at my booking in appointment for pregnancy #1 mentioned it. Will see first if this baby sticks. I am still not quite believing there's a baby with a heartbeat in there. I'm on 24 hour knicker watch again.

@Yukka I'm so excited for you and our first baby of the thread!

@tinatsarina glad you told your manager. I always think it's good to tell your manager early and swear them to secrecy so you get the right support at work. My boss was told about all 3 of mine early on as I knew I needed the support. I think you'll probably need to hit a couple of important milestones before you will start to enjoy the pregnancy. It's so hard after mc isn't it.