The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 29, 2 MMCs and 1 CP, currently 9+2(ish) with #2
@frillyfarmer, 29, 2 early MCs this year, currently 4+6 with #2
@yukka, 40, diagnosed APS, 36.1, growth scan and induction plan on Wednesday.
@Beaglemum93, 25, 2 miscarriages, overactive thyroid, 15+1, gender scan next Thursday.
@Laney79, 39 (40 in three weeks!) currently 13 weeks after two early losses, both missed MC's. Reassurance scan a week on weds.
@Bluebelltulip, 29, 11+5 weeks got my 12 week scan on Friday. Previous stillbirth at 32 weeks.
@Melpops36, 38 17+5. 2 previous MMC in row with 3 healthy sons beforehand. 1st MMC ERPC at 14 weeks, June 2018. 2nd MMC 9 weeks, tablets. BFP March 2019.
Due December 5th 2019

@Frillyfarmer I still follow the other thread too and I have to say I’m really disappointed with how you were spoken to. I joined the thread 18 months ago and always loved the support from people with BFP. Never have I known anyone be told that it is inappropriate or unnecessary to post there if pregnant. I’m sorry that happened to you.

I’m feeling a bit better now! Sickness is almost gone and energy is up a tad. Boobs have grown 9 inches so now a FF cup. Feel huge and very round but beginning to relax a bit. Keep strong everyone, we can do this!

@moonpeace age 37, DS age 4 no issues. TTC #2 have had 3 mcs; 1 at 6.5 weeks and 2 at 10.5 weeks. Currently 9+5 under rmc and on progesterone and Fragmin even though no diagnosis. In my most crucial point now and so so scared.
@InDreamland age 39, 5 years TTC before first BFP, 1 MMC in July 2018, 1 mc (CP but I hate that term) in November 2018. On 3rd pregnancy now am 6+5. All my tests clear (couple of fibroids but said small and location not concerning) but DH sperm DNA fragmentation results show 60% damaged and advised further mc's highly likely. He's on 3 supplements and will start clinical trials in autumn. Have private viability scan on Wednesday evening when will be 7 weeks if we make it that far ....... anxiety through roof on 24 hour knicker watch.
@Amanda8138, 1 MMC,1MC, no diagnosed issues, currently 14+3, probably get a scan when I return from holiday when I will be 18 weeks
@Newbie2138, 1 DS (age nearly 3), 3 MCs last year (2 were MMCs), TTC #2 since Dec 2017, currently 8w1d - confirmed heartbeat and measurements on scan today, booking in appointment will be this Sat, NIPT harmony booked for 18 Jul. Bit queasy but no really symptoms.
@Dramaqueen14 : age 33. Miscarriage at 8 + 5 though didn’t get picked up until 11 weeks in September last year. Currently around 11 + 2.
@myheartisbrokebutihavesomeglue36, DD 2.5 born Nov 2016. 1 MMC at 10 weeks - July 2018. Ectopic and left tube removal at 8 weeks - Feb 2019. Currently 13+2 and another scan tomorrow. Bricking it.
@UnicornsandRainbows129, 2 MMCs and 1 CP, currently 9+2(ish) with #2
@frillyfarmer, 29, 2 early MCs this year, currently 4+6 with #2
@yukka, 40, diagnosed APS, 36.1, growth scan and induction plan on Wednesday.
@Beaglemum93, 25, 2 miscarriages, overactive thyroid, 15+1, gender scan next Thursday.
@Laney79, 39 (40 in three weeks!) currently 13 weeks after two early losses, both missed MC's. Reassurance scan a week on weds.
@Bluebelltulip, 29, 11+5 weeks got my 12 week scan on Friday. Previous stillbirth at 32 weeks
@Knitkitty, 31, 9+2 (after 4 MCs, longest of which was 6 weeks), Had booking in appointment today. Dating scan on 25th July with specialist. Taking progesterone pessaries until 12 weeks
@Melpops36, 38 17+5. 2 previous MMC in row with 3 healthy sons beforehand. 1st MMC ERPC at 14 weeks, June 2018. 2nd MMC 9 weeks, tablets. BFP March 2019.
Due December 5th 2019
@theAntsareMyFriends 13+2 with #3, 2 previous MC and 1 CO

I hope I included everyone.

I've been a bit quiet as DS2 was in hospital last week again but he's out and back to normal. Just hoping we don't get any more foods for a while as that is what he reacts to.

I had my 12week scan today and was delighted and a bit surprised to see a lovely jumping baby. Waiting for the results of the anomaly test but letting myself have a little moment of happiness before the worry kicks in again.

@Newbie2138 I remember your 8week scan was the same day as my 12 week scan and I'm really pleased to see that went well.

@FirstTimeMama91 I'm sorry to hear you are bleeding and I hope you get good news tomorrow

Thank you everyone. After DD1 went to bed I had a cry with DH then a bath and feel a bit better now.

Those of you with other small children, how are you getting on with picking them up etc? My DS is not quite 2 and does ask to be picked up, especially when tired. I hadn't really thought about it, it's still very early but I suppose he's the best part of 2stone and obviously I'm neurotic neurotic this time round.

Sorry you're having a rough day @FirstTimeMama91 - I am hoping it is all fine for you xx

@InDreamland we're off to cornwall, I have family down there and we're staying in their holiday cottage which will be fun - it's right on the coast and it's my favourite ever happy place. In the back of my mind there are concerns it's going to be ruined by a third MC but I'm trying to live by @Yukka'S positivity and think that this time it's happening!

@Bluebelltulip baths help to fix all issues, I'm glad you feel a bit better.

@KnitKitty I had an awful sicky first trimester with DS so I'm really glad that I've got symptoms but also dreading what's coming if it's anything like last time 😂

Gosh, the early days are so so so much harder after losses, I'm so glad I've got this thread to keep me sane!

@Frillyfarmer my DD1 was under 18 months when I got pregnant with DD2, and is now 2.5. I had to pick her up a lot in DD2's pregnancy and was told by physio to reduce it where possible and try to get her to climb onto a chair or sofa before lifting her up. This time she doesn't need carrying as much but still needs picking up a few times a day. I think the risk is more about weights that you aren't used to as opposed to carrying your son which you are used to doing.

@Frillyfarmer I would second that. I still pick my youngest up, 3 1/2 stone but I always have so figured it wasn’t new. Think the biggest risk is a sore back and pelvic pain.
I have both😢

@Yukka thanks that's good to know. I was getting really unwell this evening, shaky, lightheaded and twingey. I thought AF was going to come on full stream but nothing.

@FirstTimeMama91 thinking of you and well be tomorrow too for your appointment

@Bluebelltulip as others have posted, different still allow yourself to grieve for your lost baby. It's normal and natural and a good cry is healthy. Sending you virtual hugs

@Melpops glad you're feeling less sicky and energy is up. That's good for the second trimester and you are relaxing more.

@theAntsareMyFriends sorry DS has been unwell and back in hospital but glad to hear he's on the mend. Lovely to hear about your scan. Fx for no call on the other tests. Hold onto the happy feeling!

@Frillyfarmer Cornwall sounds lovely. Great that you're going to your happy place, hopefully that will help you stay mentally in a good place and keep anxiety at bay. I agree with you on this thread, so grateful for it.

@theAntsareMyFriends so pleased your 12 week scan went well. Did they give you your due date?

@Frillyfarmer I have a nearly 3 year old and he is a unit!!! He refuses to go in buggy but when he tires he will ask me to carry him. I'm trying to reduce the amount of carrying that I do as I've been having round ligament pains so I don't think the carrying will help. He's getting better with it but it is tough.

@Frillyfarmer I am definitely still picking up my 2.5 year old! She has been ill with chicken pox and begging me to pick her up for cuddles. I have done a fair bit of googling and most things say it's all in how you lift them - so you should lift with your legs not your back. But she's definitely old enough now to climb on to her chair, down the stairs etc without help so that makes it a bit easier.

How are things today @FirstTimeMama91?

How are you feeling @Bluebelltulip? I hope you had a good sleep.

And how is everyone else? xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm still bleeding but there's not any clotting. Maybe just tiny bits of tissue. I got my hopes up that maybe everything's ok but I did an IC and there's barely a second line so I must be miscarrying. Appointment is at lunch time so that'll confirm. Will let you know thanks for asking xxx

@FirstTimeMama91 sorry to hear that you are still bleeding and the test came back faint, hugs and I hope this morning doesn't drag to much until your scan, my fingers are crossed for you.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I did sleep well thank you, DD woke up at 5 but managed to get her back to sleep.

@Bluebelltulip thanks hun. My cramping stopped last night too which got my hopes up but I know I'm just having false hope xx

Thinking of you today @FirstTimeMama91 xx

@FirstTimeMama91 so sorry you're still bleeding and the test is fainter. Thinking of you. Hope the EPU treat you well. Keep us updated x

@FirstTimeMama91 Thinking of you today. Hope you managed to get some rest last night. Sending big supportive hugs xxx

@FirstTimeMama91 I'll be thinking .of you today. Sending support and a hand hold

Goodness me. The TTC thread is getting super heated. So sad to see it like th eir t after 30 threads of really supportive members and genuine (I thought it was genuine anyway) happiness that someone who shared similar struggles of unexplained infertility, pregnancy loss and recurrent losses would suddenly get a BFP. I've seen for 11 months the support newly pregnant ladies have got and lost count of the BFPs I've seen in that time. Each of them though I've wanted to know how they got on and appreciated the odd post updating which gave some hope to those still trying. I had come to be rather invested in some of those journeys but I get everyone is different and not everyone welcomes seeing someone who has struggled finally get what could be their rainbow - and for someone like me the slight chance that I get finally to have the much wanted family I've been trying for 6 years.

Reminds me of my friend who told me a month after I lost my second one that her situation is far worse than mine because at least I can get pregnant ...........despite knowing the 5 year battle I had before my first BFP.

I just wish there could be some support and understanding on both sides with this. Now everyone feels pushed out. @Bluebelltulip your post there hit the nail on the head.

I'm still convinced that I will lose this one but now I just don't think I'll stay on MN once I do or I'll see if there is a different thread.

The fact a few of the ladies lurk here I think shows they are wanting to keep up with how we are .......in small doses.

Reckon due to the spate of BFP in the space of a couple of weeks didn't help over there but then it's not the first time that's happened since I've been on that thread and there's never been that sort of reaction before.

@Newbie21 thank you! My due date is 4 Jan which is a bit of a weird birthday but I'm not complaining as I'm just glad to be getting a due date at all.

@FirstTimeMama91 good luck today. I wish you well whatever the outcome.

To all the others picking up older children. I still carry my 2yo quite a lot and still lift my 5yo occasionally. I think there is quite a bit of conflicting advice about lifting but my MW said the risk is actually to you rather than the baby as you may lift awkwardly to compensate for being pregnant and the risk is greater later on when you get more stretchy.

@indreamland I had a quick peek at the TTC thread to see what everyone was talking about and yikes is is getting dramatic with a few flouncers. TBH I can see both sides and I know when I have been on the TTC thread I have been in a dark place. I think while PG after MC can be incredibly stressful and filled with anxiety while you are still on the TTC side you would give anything to be PG. I hope everything settles down and people feel they can return if needed or come over here when they can.

Thinking of you today @FirstTimeMama91 x

I've just read through the other thread. I think it seems a bit harsh what's been said for someone simply checking in... I can kinda see both side's arguments but I don't think it's nice on a support thread to make anyone feel unwelcome. I hope the nastiness dies down and doesn't start to filter onto this thread because it really has been a lifeline. I'm on the December group's facebook page but I can't share my worries with them because most have not had losses so are excited and I don't want to bring them down.

Thank you @InDreamland, I just want it to stop, we are all here because we know a BFP doesn't always equal a baby to bring home and I hate to think of people not being welcome back if they lose this pregnancy too. We are all in such a difficult situation and I don't see how this is helping anyone.

I was sporadically on the TTC thread, then on this thread, but sadly had a mmc the week before last, and was going to go back onto the TTC thread, but I had a look and it seems to have been taken over by a couple of vocal 'mean girls'. It's a real shame as it had been such a supportive inclusive place for a long time. I think I'll continue to lurk on this thread, and hopefully be able to join you all again soon :)

Wishing everyone all the best with their pregnancies x

@Kintan I'm so sorry to read your news xx

@Beaglemum93 I was on the Dec bus with you, glad it's going well for you. It's hard with the buses - I've joined the march thread but it's lots of very excited people and I just can't get into their mindset just yet. I hope it gets easier, my sept bus with DS was/is still a real lifeline and I'm always on FB with them!

Sorry to hear about your loss @Kintan, feel free to post here if you want too.

@Kintan I remember you and I'm so sorry to read your update. I hope you are looking after yourself as best you can. There are no words but I'm sending a virtual hug xxxx

Nosiness has just got the better of me and I’e now looked at the TTC thread. I appreciate that when you're TTC pregnancy announcements, scan photos etc are so hard, but there was only one mention of a scan and it was very much in relation to a poster's previous experience and continued worries. Hardly a gloating announcement or lots of talk about scans! Also, I think it's really different hearing updates from people you know have had a hard time. These are updates from "our people", people we know have suffered and had some of the hardest times imaginable. I always like hearing these stories as it gives me hope. However, these comments have been born from a place of deep hurt and unhappiness at their own situations, not nastiness, and I hope both threads can continue to work together as the support is invaluable. We all need each other.

I've just been for my private dating scan which was part of my Harmony package. Measuring 13+4 and all looks as good as it can do. Baby Boy wriggling around and gave a little wave 😍 Feel a bit better and just bought some maternity jeans, a top and a summer dress... really hoping I haven't jinxed it! Booked another private scan for 16 weeks as know the worry will creep back in as soon as today is over 🤦🏼‍♀️