The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

I'm sorry you're feeling so shit @InDreamland how far along are you now? If you can afford it I'd deffo pay for a scan if you think it will help, it sounds like you are really suffering.

It's hit me a bit today as well. I got my BFP on Friday but I'm only two days late and it seems like such a long long time to go and the days when I have time to think about things seem to just drag on forever. I'm really trying to stay positive that this is our rainbow but the doubts are constantly creeping in. I've more or less decided that if we make it to six weeks I will book a private scan to check what's going on.

@InDreamland I think you should get a scan, hopefully it will confirm baby is ok and put you at ease abit.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm so glad your scan went well. Annoying not to be able to get a photo, but as you said, that's not the important thing!

@moonpeace I hope you're managing to catch some calm however you can. Getting past personal milestones is a really tough phase. Hopefully after next week you will find it easier to relax.
I'm just a few days behind you. Currently 8+4.

@Yukka I love your story about the magpies. I think it's a great metaphor for how we can focus so much on negative things when actually we're missing the bigger picture and the over-all is positive.

@InDreamland I think your DH's sperm must have been slowly improving... If you think about it, 5 years of infertility and then suddenly 3 pregnancies quite close together? Surely it shows the quality has increased enough to get you pregnant, and hopefully the sperm which fertilised this particular egg is a really healthy one! Don't lose hope completely. Try and hold on to any positives you can. Hugs xxx And really pleased it sounds like you have a nice supportive midwifery team. I think asking DH for support/help in this is a great idea. I know having tests is scary, but it can take some of that fear away when you get the results. You can do this!

@Newbie21 I hope it's not too hot where you are. Is it acceptable for me to be happy for you that you feel like shit?

@theAntsareMyFriends Sorry to hear about DS2. The symptoms going might be because you're so distracted with that? I hope so anyway. Remember you're around the time when symptoms can ease off naturally... I hope everything goes well on Monday.

@Frillyfarmer Congrats on getting past the first milestone of AF due date. xx

As for me; still getting morning sickness, although not quite as bad as last week because I've found some techniques that work (eating constantly and avoiding certain foods/drinks basically).
I'm trying really hard to up my intake of fluids because I think I'm slightly dehydrated... Not peeing as much as normal. But I'm not able to drink a lot in one go (usually I guzzle down water all day). I'm having to remember to take on little but often... And also the thought of drinking water has made me want to puke a few times so I've bought some no-added-sugar squash to make it a bit more appetising.

We've booked a trip to France when I'll be 11 weeks (all being well). We'll be visiting family (OH is French).
What travel insurance have those of you who've travelled when pregnant taken out? Do they ask about pregnancy on the forms you fill in? Any recommendations for companies to go through?

I have my follow-up scan on Friday. I'll be 8+6. Actually feeling quite calm about it right now, but obviously nervous in case it's bad news. Just trying to focus on positive thoughts though and trying to allow myself to hope for the best. Last scan was already a milestone, seeing the heartbeat for the first time in 5 pregnancies, so hopefully this is just a strong little bean and is budding in there.
Feeling like my abdomen is starting to feel a bit stretched over the last couple of days.
I think I may show a bit earlier than normal because I have a strange womb. I had two wombs, the left one was taken out (looong story) and so this one is off to the right side... It's also quite likely my bump will lean over to the right and make me look lop-sided.

@KnitKitty I am just in my insurance with my bank that comes with my account. I don't even notify them that I'm going on holiday and haven't said I'm pregnant. I don't think it makes any difference unless you are very late in pregnancy. It's not treated like an illness or anything. I'm not sure if you we're going skiing or something whether there would be a difference - there might be. But France should be fine with any policy but you can always ask them when you arrange it.

Haha, of course you can be happy for me! The shitness wore of as the day went on but I find I feel dodgy if I start getting hungry but since I'm on hold I can graze all day if I like.

@KnitKitty if you are struggling with water maybe try icelollies. Might be refreshing and will keep fluid up.

@InDreamland I'm so sorry that you are feeling so rubbish. The spotting is such a stress. I definitely think a scan or blood test will help. I hope you manage to sort something. Please remember that a lack of symptoms doesn't mean anything. I didn't have symptoms with my DS. Strongest symptoms were when I had a blighted ovum!?? Also, I do think that if your mind is so taken up with the stress of pregnancy and worry of MC that this will mask any symptoms- your mind and body can only cope with so much so symptoms are zoned out.

Thanks ladies. I've asked DH to sort something out today for as soon as poss. He did call yesterday and left a message at a clinic so hopefully he books something for the next few days. I'm petrified. Again zero symptoms this morning, I actually feel totally okay today physically apart from loads of gas when I woke up which has all passed.

@Frillyfarmer totally normal to feel some worry but getting past AF due is great. Take it day by day and book in that scan if you think it'll help.

@KnitKitty sounds like things are going well for you, nice symptoms that should be getting. Fx for tomorrows scan. I have no idea about travel insurance actually, never really thought about it being covered, maybe I'd best check too.

@KnitKitty I have annual insurance and when we went away in April (24w) I phoned them, they stated standard pregnancy is covered so I asked them to register my APS condition but again she said as it's pregnancy related there was no additional fee. So I would just ask the insurer to confirm their standard cover for pregnancy. Holiday will be great for you :)

@InDreamland hope you get a scan booked soon. I used Baby bond/ultrasound direct if there is one near you I was able to get in within 24hrs.

Thanks @Yukka

DH has booked in a scan for Wednesday after work as earliest they could fit us in that works around us. Guess that's 6 days to mc or we find out it's not viable. Either way I'll know what is going on the the next 6 days. Now to try stay sane until then.

Hi all, not feeling great today. Woke up in middle of night due to jet lag and felt quite cranky, then have continued to feel crampy off and on, pretty uncomfortable. A few more brown spots this morning. I haven't had any nausea the last few days but it does seem that every time I've noticed that it comes back quickly after.

I'm really wishing now that I had had a last minute scan before I travelled as now I'm stuck waiting this out and I don't feel comfortable telling other members of my family anymore - I was hoping to announce as will be 10 weeks this week and had the two positive scans but I just can't bring myself to talk about it knowing that it's feeling so uncertain right now. Keep reminding myself that I still wouldn't know for sure even if I did have another scan.

However, I'm feeling a bit sad about it all as I won't see them all for another 6 months now and was really looking forward to telling a few people in person.

Lol, crampy not cranky - but suppose I did feel cranky too when I was up at 3 am!

@InDreamland glad you have a scan booked. Hope you have something that can take your mind off things a little at least over the weekend x

@coconutlatte44 I'm sorry you're not feeling so good and that you are getting spotting. If you do not feel comfortable about telling family then of course do not but know that it won't jinx anything if you do (I know we all get paranoid about these things, me included). Also, if it's close family notwithstanding the distance maybe they are people you would want to know if things didn't work out. Everyone should deal with talking about pregnancy and miscarriage however it suits them but I've got to the point I just come out with it. I find it easier. I decided to tell my sister and her hubby and my mum and dad this time around even though part of me wanted to wait it out but I know I'd need the support if things don't work out. Fingers crossed all is well and you feel a bit better. I felt crappy yesterday which was down to lack of sleep I think as I feel a lot better today so I reckon the jet lag is really taking its toll on you.

@Newbie21 that's good advice about telling people. I'm anxious about saying anything. I told family at 8 weeks then MC at 9. I might still say at 8 weeks now but not sure.
@InDreamland glad you got a scan booked. FX it's all good news on Wednesday.
@coconutlatte44 I can see your predicament with wanting to tell them but not at the same time.

I've had some sharp pains and abit crampy on and off today but I'm just telling myself as long as there's no red blood it's still ok.

I have just had horrible cramps followed by diarrhea. I had this with 2 of my MCs. DH thinks I had it with DS too so doesn't mean anything. He might be right. I had so much fruit today maybe that did it but the cramping is so scary. Will keep drinking water. Suffice to say I'm freaking out and just want to get home and have my scan on Monday.

Thanks @Newbie21, I have actually told my immediate family (parents and siblings) after we got our first scan at 6 weeks as found it so lonely that nobody knew about pregnancy when my first mc happened. A few of my friends who supported me through mc know too, so I will definitely have the support if I need it. I'm more thinking about some family I'm not quite as close with and who I probably wouldn't feel the need/desire to tell if I mced again but they would be excited to hear about a pregnancy. It's not so much about not jinxing it in that I feel so pessimistic about it at the moment that I don't actually believe it's going to work out so I can't face telling anyone it's happening.

My biggest concern was my grandmother who I saw today, I have always hoped that she might get to meet my first child, she is 91 now and has memory issues so I decided to just tell her so I knew she would get the experience of hearing it - she won't remember but will have at least felt happy about it at the time. My other relatives I'm not sure about yet but I'll play it by ear.

I'm sorry to hear you're spotting. What a difficult few weeks this is for all of us.

@coconutlatte44 that's nice that you told your grandmother. If you don't feel comfortable then hold off telling the others. When you do tell them even if over phone or FaceTime etc they will totally understand why you didn't tell them when you saw them as much as you would have liked to.

@coconutlatte44 so sorry you're not feeling comfortable to tell other family and that you've got a little brown spotting. Don't forget that brown is old blood so hopefully there is nothing to worry about. I do understand that anxiety though, it is always there when you've had a previous loss. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. You don't have to say anything until you feel ready to, do what is right for you. It's lovely though you told your grandmother, must have been so nice to see her happy.

@Newbie21 I have stuff on this weekend but not sure I'll be able to relax or enjoy it. I feel like having a scan booked is jinxing it, we'll now mc before the scan or at the scan we'll find out it's not viable. I just can't believe this will turn out to be any different to our first two pregnancies. Fruit is acidic and some has lots of fibre so it can play havoc with your tummy, especially if you've had a lot. Maybe being pregnant makes your tummy more sensitive too. Definitely stay hydrated.

@tinatsarina hopefully the cramping is just things stretching and moving about and nothing to worry about. If you're not bleeding that's positive.

I feel so unpregnant today. Seriously not a single symptom. Am supposed to be 6+1 based on LMP. I should be feeling something

@InDreamland with my DS I had very few symptoms. The odd day of feeling rough and a bit queasy but nothing noteworthy - certainly no morning sickness or sore boobs, perhaps a nipple tingle here or there. Every pregnancy is different xx

@Newbie21 how are you feeling today? Did the cramps subside?

@coconutlatte44 there's no right or wrong with telling people - most importantly is what's helpful to you. I told a few more than normal early on with this one as I knew I'd need their support (and get it) I had one particular friend I didn't tell and she still doesn't know about the mcs as she just can't support me the way I'd need and had her own stuff going on.

@tinatsarina Sounds like round ligament pain especially with sharp pains. You're right - pain with no bleeding is considered ok👌

@Frillyfarmer I know you're right, I say the same but it doesn't stop us worrying. Think we have all had the worry about no symptoms.

How is everyone this morning?

How will you all keep cool this weekend? Supposed to hit 31° tomorrow. I was pregnant last year in the heatwave and it was hideous. We bought a fan for the house which really helped in the end but can't take it out with me.

I'm ok this morning. Getting nausea on and off. My partners thinking it's multiple because I never had this with our son or this bad with the MC.
How early do you think you will all start showing?
I know you apparently show earlier if you've had more than one pregnancy.

I had an appointment with the midwife this morning - I wanted to be in the system.

I haven't had a period since last MC but I track my cycles and use OPKs so I'm fairly certain I ovulated around 11/12th June which would work with my dates. The midwife has said she needs to go by my last bleed "as lots of women track their cycles incorrectly" and has put me at 8 weeks which is absolutely not correct.

The outcome is that if things progress successfully, I will have my dating scan at about 8/9 weeks and have to go back again for the tests to be done at 12/14 weeks. I see her point but I'm feeling a bit shit she's put me down as EDD 6th feb when that's almost a month out from my 3rd March calculation which I think is accurate.

@Frillyfarmer I would probably try to not be too miffed, you will simply get an additional repeat 12w appointment as they won't be able to date you at 8/9 weeks, the foetus will be too undeveloped at that stage. She's really just following procedure so perhaps focus on the bonus that you get to see your bean more :)

Unless you're annoyed that it's too many appointments to juggle? But again more frequent checks in themselves improve pregnancy outcomes after mc x

@tinatsarina yes women who have given birth before are more likely to show much quicker as their abdominal muscles have already been through the separation process. For first time mums it usually happens after 20w so bump size varies a lot. Many first time mums don't feel they have s proper bump until 24w. By 10 w I had to go up a size in skinny jeans (and high waisted they were soooooo comfy!) and by 18w I was in maternity jeans.

It will also depend how much weight you gain in your body as well as baby, I've been very lucky.

@tinatsarina it's a good sign you're getting nausea. Mine's disappeared the past few days which is worrying.

@Frillyfarmer try look at it as getting extra scans for reassurance and support from the extra appointments. When you have your first scan you can explain your dates to the sonographer.

@Yukka diarrhea and cramps have gone now thank goodness. I think it was the fruit but won't totally relax until scan on Monday. Today just feeling slightly nauseous and thirsty so drinking and nibbling seems to be helping.

@Frillyfarmer I think like the others say, just look at the bonus of having an extra scan because the one at 8/9 weeks will definitely show the difference given your dates. My booking in is not until I'm 9 weeks (10 based on LMP) due to me being on holiday and they only book the 12 week scan after booking in but I'm running my weeks from ovulation too so technically I'll be quite a bit ahead if it is based on LMP. I'll let you know if that impacts my scan date although my hospital tends to be v busy so doubt they'd be able to even if they wanted to given how late I'm having my booking in. I definitely think focus on the benefit, it is the due date at the relevant scan that matters.