The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@Yukka that is early! I can't wait to feel movement! I felt it at about 21 weeks with DD but everyone says it's earlier with your second - I hope so! Although then that's another thing to stress over 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ Also funny your scan was a day out too. I've actually googled it this afternoon and the measurements she gave have come up on posts of people saying they are 12+2, so o feel better!

@moonpeace and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue fantastic news on the scans. Both 8 weeks and 12 weeks are such huge milestones and of course you will not relax and anxiety will try to get the better of you given history but all is going as well as it possibly could so this is great progress.

@moonpeace I'm only 7weeks 2 days - feel like it is taking absolutely ages! I feel pretty yucky and I'm on holiday so I'll take that as a positive thing, haha. I don't feel sick just nothing appeals and yet I need to eat. Im also so so so so moody. Father in law is here and we have a fairly strained relationship - we are both very stubborn and my husband is very placid so I find him quite irritating. I know it's mainly me but with the hormones I've turned into a worse version of myself which is pretty bad. Bad timing I guess. He still doesn't know I'm pregnant although I should imagine he guesses as I'm not drinking. I'm going to try and be nice and happier - I'm just panicking about losing baby and I can't speak to hubby as FIL always there.

I finally got through to the community midwifery team. Got my booking in appointment and 12 week scan appointment. Told them about my anxiety and they said to call GP and ask for early scan and hormones tests. Or just go to EPU.

They did say if I get an early scan it's best to do at 7 or 8 weeks as there should be a heartbeat.

@InDreamland I think we are only a week apart. I know there are medical issues but maybe the other ladies are right and it could be a healthy swimmer.

@moonpeace your MC sounds like mine. Everything was fine then 8/9 weeks symptoms were fading and spotting started. I never had an early scan so never heard a heartbeat but we reckon baby died around 8 weeks but took another two weeks for the tissues to pass. Although the actual fetal tissue never passed. We think the baby was reabsorbed because I chose to MC naturally it took two weeks for even the sac and all to pass.

6.3w is roughly the average for heartbeat to be visible... give or take a few days. Be nice for you to have something to look forward to x

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that's great news about your 12week scan. I hope the anxiety lessens as you go on. I think feeling movement is always such a reassurance. I'm hoping I feel it early this time.

@InDreamland glad to hear you've got the scan sorted and have managed to talk to someone sympathetic.

@moonpeace I'm really weird about magpies too. I've seen so many lonely magpies since finding out I'm pregnant and it always makes me gloomy even though I know it's just the time of year. At least it's not just me that get crazy superstitions.

I should be having a MW booking in app tomorrow but have had to cancel as my DS2 is in hospital again and I don't like leaving him for too long. I've got my 12week scan on Monday so hoping it will be ok to go even though I don't have my notes yet. Not feeling massively confident anyway as all symptoms seem to have vanished overnight so at least the scan can tell me if I should bother rearranging my MW appoinment.

@InDreamland glad you've got the booking in etc sorted out and they are going to give you an extra scan. I definitely think 8-9 weeks is the right time since something will show if all ok so no what ifs and being able to see a heartbeat will really help. I know things can and still go wrong however the likelihood is reduced which is a comfort.

@theAntsareMyFriends I hope your DS2 is ok and it's nothing serious. Your lack of symptoms may be the worry and focus on DS2 which means your mind doesn't focus on symptoms. Hope all goes well for your scan. I have my 8 week scan on Monday also.

@moonpeace that's interesting about progesterone. Damaged sperm can fertilise the egg apparently, only problem is that the baby then doesn't develop and results in miscarriage. That must be so difficult for you to have seen heartbeats in all previous pregnancies then to have lost them, can imagine how you must be feeling now. Keeping fx for you that this one will be different. New sperm new egg.

@Newbie21 sounds like your FIL has gatecrashed a nice holiday. I'd never agree to being anywhere with my FIL for more than 5 hours and even then it must be with plenty of other company. Sorry you're feeling anxious about losing baby, I'm sure though all will be well and you'll have a lovely scan when you get back.

@theAntsareMyFriends @Newbie21 I haven't got a scan booked yet. I've just been advised what to do and to wait until 7 or 8 weeks before trying to get one at EPU or privately. I have my 12 week scan date though. As well as my booking in appointment.

@theAntsareMyFriends hopefully the symptoms going is to do with you being at the end of the first trimester now. I would suggest trying to rebook your MW appointment otherwise you could be waiting a while. Hope your DS doesn't have anything serious.

@Yukka I think I'll try hold out as long as possible to 8 weeks before booking a scan or rocking up at EPU if I don't need to go sooner for something else. That's 2 weeks to go ..............2 weeks would normally fly by but now it'll drag like a 6 year old waiting for Christmas Day on the 23rd December.

@tinatsarina thank you.

@InDreamland it's positive that they have said you can just contact them to get the early scan though. I know what you mean about dragging - usually holidays feel like that go so fast for me but since I have a scan the day after I'm back this holiday feels like it's taking ages which I shouldn't complain about.

@Newbie21 that must be awful, normally would love a long hols but this is so different. Hope it goes faster now.

Someone get me off this tube train. Got a seat but I feel rubbish. Gotta change trains and there won't be any seats on the next one and I don't wanna wear that badge.......so left it at home.

Anyone else waking up ridiculously early? I've been wise awake since 5am the last few mornings zzzz

@FirstTimeMama91 the past 2 nights I've been up needing to pee. Then waking up early but still not getting out of bed until the alarm goes off. I'm tired.

Anyone else feel a little shaky? Hate this feeling, especially when on public transport. Waiting for my 3rd train of the morning and as usual feeling like I've started bleeding. Good job I'm still wearing pads.

@FirstTimeMama91 and @InDreamland I've been up needing to pee every night for a few weeks now. Also I was up from 4am this morning - I felt nauseas and couldn't get comfortable. Also, I'm getting another bloody cold - probably caused by the aircon in the villa. I've only just got over one which last a month!!! Anyway, I feel for you commuters at the moment. Remember to make sure you have water and a snack on you in case you feel faint.

On a brighter note - I feel like shit which is what I've been hoping for when symptomless so I suppose I'm smiling inside and I'd rather feel crap by the pool in Portugal than at my desk!

I hope you are all doing ok ladies?

@InDreamland have you had more spotting or all clear?

I'm now shitting myself. DD has chicken pox. NHS advice is that I am fine as I have had it. But still worrying and "helpful" people in my office keep telling me tales of their shingles experiences! 😩

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I work in a pharmacy and on Monday someone brought their child with chickenpox in so I'm panicking a bit too. But the nhs advice definitely says not to worry as long as you've had them before...

Well done @InDreamland for booking your appointments despite how hard it has been!!

@moonpeace I'm in the same place as you at the moment, 9+3 by last scan but don't have my next one for another 2 weeks. I had 3 days of brown discharge/spotting over the weekend and was tempted to push for a scan but have worked to accept that the odds are in my favor at this point and a scan would only give me reassurance for a short while. However, the sinking feeling that I've already lost it is definitely hovering there in the background, what a crazy and anxious time this is for all of us.

I actually showed my midwife a pic of the bleeding yesterday and he said he saw no reason to be concerned although was very careful to say that nothing is certain.

@FirstTimeMama91 My sleeping patterns change totally when pregnant - I wake up in the middle of the night at least once to pee, and then I often wake between 4-5 - I have taken to keeping headphones under my pillow and I listen to a calm audiobook or podcast and am sometimes able to fall back asleep.

I'm the same with sleeping. Constantly waking for no reason then struggling to drop off again

@moonpeace I know what you mean. I'm only 5 weeks today and it feels like it's dragging in. I just want to get to 12 weeks and see a healthy baby. It's killing me having to wait so long. I'm not sure if I'll even get a reassurance scan.

@Newbie21 glad you're having symptoms but sucks you have a cold. Wishing you better but lots of morning sickness and sore boobs. I'm beginning to wonder .......with the brown on the pad ..... I tend to usually find a tiny bit (a thin 1-2 cm long) on my pad in the evening. Not had any for a few days when wiping. Could it be that near the end of the day it's just not as squeaky clean down there as in the morning and it's showing as brown on a pad? Ok, wishful thinking.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm pretty sure that if you've had chicken pox before you'll be ok. Ignore the unhelpful colleagues.

@coconutlatte44 glad your midwife doesn't seem concerned about the spotting. Sorry but I have to ask, what's it like having a male midwife? I'm just curious. Don't think I've ever heard of a man wanting to be one.

@moonpeace 2 weeks definitely feels like a lifetime at the moment. Try remember every pregnancy is different so symptoms could be different too.

So I had a massive cry today at work. Came home and asked DH to sort something out with private clinic, either HCG bloods or scan. I just need to know if this is viable or not and if not I don't want any delays, I want it sorted sooner rather than later as the constant anxiety is just not healthy for my mind. Sorry if this sounds cold but I just need to deal with this.