The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@coconutlatte44 I'd just ring and get some advice. When I went in they were really supportive and it was so worth it for the reassurance. They tend to check out any bleeding, and it's worth it to have your peace of mind.

Do any of you ladies have a slightly shorter than average cycle? If yes then has that affected how far along those due date calculators say you are? I have noticed the NHS calculator puts me 2 days ahead of what I work out manually going by LMP. Calculator asks for cycle length, I pop in 26 days which would account for the 2 days ahead, guess i presumes I ov earlier than average which I do by maybe 1 or 2 days. Normally day 13 I ov. Don't even know why this is important. I think I'm overthinking things.

How's everyone been today? I'm dreading the commute on the tube this week.

@InDreamland I come up with different dates depending on what calculator and metric I use. I was about to start Clomid and was having scans with a consultant and the time of my scan was when I should have been about to ovulate but the doctor said going by the size of the luteal cyst or whatever it's called I had another 5 days or so to go and I checked with CB ovulation tests and he was exactly right so that made this cycle longer than normal - as I ovulated later but not all calculators allow for that and assume I ovulated on day 14 when it was later and a 32 day cycle. So I'm either 6, 8 or 10 of Feb. lol. I think I just have to hold out for the dating scan. Fingers crossed I get there!

Can I ask - do any of you experience the following - if you are sitting for a prolonged period and then you suddenly get up and walk does anyone get a muscle pain in the groin? It's happened to me quite a few times over the last week. I sometimes can walk properly for a few seconds.

@Newbie21 I think since you had no sickness with your DC it sounds like it's completely normal for you. I've actually started to realise how big a pinch of salt all this "you're probably feeling this way when pregnant" stuff should be taken with. And how common it is for symptoms to come and go as they please! I know symptoms would feel reassuring right now, so big hugs, but I'm sure everything is fine. x

@hayleyfx I'm sorry you've been feeling so rotten! Are the sickness meds helping?

Congratulations and welcome to @FirstTimeMama91 and @Frillyfarmer. So glad you've joined us. Best of luck for the coming weeks/months. We're here for hand-holding! xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue Congratulations on having a boy! How exciting!
You're exactly at the time when symptoms can subside. Probably a mixture of that and the reality of being told the sex has made everything feel very real and hit the anxiety buttons. Just keep swimming. You'll be fine. You don't have to tell people until you feel ready. xxx

@Yukka Loving 'Positive Pants'... I think that should feature in the name of this thread when we get to a new one! Haha!

@coconutlatte44 Aww, cute scan picture. I think I can see a little arm? I'm afraid I have no idea with measurements other than the fact that they don't do dating scans until 12 weeks because before then they can't tell anything much by the size...
Sorry you've had a scare with the discharge. Try to remember that some form of spotting is completely normal in early pregnancy (I know hearing that doesn't help the anxiety go away, but keep repeating it to yourself if it helps...) Hope you're doing OK this evening.

@Mirana Congrats on having a baked bean with flippers! I'm so glad that it was a good outcome and that you've been put on bed-rest. What a scare!

@InDreamland Sorry registering online didn't go smoothly. I would give them a call to confirm. Hope you're coping with the anxiety alright today. My acupuncturist helped with mine when I was around where you are now.

My nausea hasn't been as bad this weekend... It seems to be a pattern. Probably because I get more sleep and rest more at the weekend. Still just feeling really bloated and yucky though and nearly threw up while eating dinner. Lovely!
On count-down until scan no.2 now. It's on Friday. I should be 8 weeks 6 days then. Really, really hoping it's all going well in there. I broke the news to my dad and sister this weekend which I felt a bit weird about but I'm glad they know. My mum is also really pleased they know because she's not scared she's going to let it slip by accident anymore. Haha!

How is everyone doing?

@KnitKitty thanks lovely!! So happy to be here with you all xxx

@Newbie21 glad it's not just me getting different dates. Save feeling as you, wait til dating scan .......... if I get there. I don't get that pain you described but I did find it hard to sit still for a few days a week ago, it was really uncomfortable like I was wearing a tampon that hadn't been inserted properly. Seems to have cleared up though now. Maybe it's your womb stretching?

@KnitKitty glad you've been feeling better this weekend. The acupuncture has helped but I wonder if I'm more relaxed generally at the weekend anyway because I'm at or closer to home. My hayfever has been terrible though, so close to getting out the nasal spray, not ideal in pregnancy but I'm really suffering and pretty sure it's the one I used last year that GP said was ok.

@InDreamland Dr Google talks of "round ligament pains" which is exactly that - womb stretching. I think it usually happens in 2nd trimester though but maybe since I carried DS full term it happens earlier in subsequent pregnancies. Hopefully it's an indication that things are growing down there. Although, having had MMCs, I know that can happen anyway but positive pants and all that!!!

Congratulations @Frillyfarmer and @FirstTimeMama91! Hope you both have a healthy and uneventful 9 months! But we're all here to worry to if need be.

@InDreamland I'm glad to hear you've registered with the midwife, it's scary after what we've been through but at least when the doctors etc know they can offer advice/reassurance when you need it.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue congratulations on finding out you're having a boy! I'm dying to find out what I'm having when I'm having an optimistic moment! I've booked a gender scan for when I'm 16+4.

I'm 14+2 now and still really anxious it's all going to go wrong. I had to buy maternity jeans at the weekend so I feel like I've jinxed it now. It had to be done though, I can't even button my "fat" jeans anymore despite having lost a bit of weight. I feel like I shouldn't be showing as much as I am yet but it's probably my lack of stomach muscles to hold it back.

@coconutlatte44 I had brown spotting on and off from 5 weeks til 10 weeks (and a red bleed at 6). The no cramping is a good sign. Definitely call the midwife though because they might be able to give you some reassurance x

@InDreamland I have short cycles too and have always been dated a few days later at 12 week scans. Prior to DD2 I had 26 day cycles and since then it was 23/24 days which makes the shift of 5 days at my early scan make sense. There is a nasal spray called becodefense plus which is completely safe in pregnancy.

@InDreamland @Newbie21 my due date according to LMP was something like 17th jan, but I knew I ovulated on day 10 so was aware that was out...went for a scan when I was (according to LMP) something like 6+5 but measured 7+5 (I thought I was 7+3 according to ovulation) then last weeks scan I was meant to be 10+5 based on previous scan but measured 11+1...so they moved my dating scan to this week as my original scan date would've been borderline for combined screening.

Current due date is 7th jan...so 10 days earlier than LMP! I think they grow at such different rates early on, that's why they don't give a firmer date until 12 weeks.

@Newbie21 I had it too from the very beginning - all the books say second trimester but I had it straight away. It probably means you'll get lightning crotch sooner too - really really sharp short pains, feels like a sharp nerve pain and will take your breath away. That started around 10wks for me. There's nothing you can do really except be conscious of sudden movements and literally slow yourself down.

Swimming helps if you do back stroke so you can take the weight off your front, and ive literally this weekend ordered a maternity support belt as on Saturday walking to the village it was agony! Determined to stay mobile these last few weeks!

Just bear with me whilst I vent my morning to you all -

I phoned the GP on Friday just to discuss and "make them aware" and she was lovely and said it would be best to book in with midwife as soon as poss so I'm on the system - fine, I'm not one for worrying about "jinxes".

Midwife called this morning (appt meant to be at 10am) to say she's not sure why I've been booked in so early and they usually don't see ladies until they're "at least 7 weeks". She was my midwife for DS and to be honest I disliked her all the way through that pregnancy - she's a bit of an old bag. When I explained the situation she just said "seeing me earlier won't magic away your worries and the hospital won't scan you until 12 weeks regardless of your history."

She's just sort of minimised all of my concerns and I was kind of hoping I might be offered an early scan given the history- friends in similar situations have all been offered early scans? Anyway, I'm just a bit miffed, got an appointment with her in two weeks if we make it that far. Don't even want to see her now, wish I could have had a different MW this time round.

@Frillyfarmer I'm so sorry she was so dismissive and unsupportive. In your area can you self-refer to EPU?
Could you talk to GP about how this has made you feel? They would be able to refer you to EPU if midwife won't...
So I take it there's no other midwife at your practice? Maybe ask the reception staff what the protocol is when you are unhappy working with a particular staff member?
Hugs x

@Frillyfarmer in my area the midwives are in little teams that cover various surgeries, but they also do clinics at the mlu-is it worth asking to go to an alt practice or the mlu for your mw appts so you get someone you feel more comfortable with? Deffo ask the GP about an early scan. Xx

@Frillyfarmer sorry the midwife was unhelpful. In my area it has to be a doctor that refers you for an early scan with the epu so it might be worth asking your GP about it.

@Newbie21 I remember getting them in my first pregnancy so get what you mean about doesn't necessarily mean anything but still hope it is due to baby growing. Fx for you it's a good sign.

@Beaglemum93 fx there is no jinxing it, good that you're out of the danger zone although understand you'll still be anxious.

@Bluebelltulip good to know a slightly shorter cycle can affect how far along you are. I use Beconase which I'm sure is what the GP said I could use last year in my first pregnancy.

@Laney79 that is quite a difference in dates. A whole week is significant although must be nice to be meeting your new baby sooner.

@Frillyfarmer so sorry you had a bad experience. I agree with the others, can you ask about seeing a different midwife and explain why. You need someone who will show some empathy when you've been through what you have.

On the subject of registering with the midwife, given I'm not confident my online form was successfully submitted I tried calling the midwife number instead and it just rings and rings and rings and eventually rings off, not even voicemail so cannot even speak to them. Don't need this stress.

So anyone struggle to eat. I feel like my appetite has just disappeared. I make myself eat because obviously I have to but I really struggle to force it in.

Trying to catch up after my weekend away from all forms of technology.

@tinatsarina I have the same problems with my appetite. I don't fancy anything and really have to make myself eat. Even when I do I fill up really quickly and probably only eat about half of what i normally do. I get terrible food aversions and with my DS1 I had a few month when I could only eat about 5 foods. It makes me realise how much I look forward to eating usually and how miserable it is not enjoying food.

@InDreamland I'm glad you've not had anymore bleeding. No self-referral here but I'm assuming if you don't hear back in a week you could call and chase it.

@Frillyfarmer its really tricky when you don't like your MW as you need to be able to trust them, especially when you are anxious about MC. I had a terrible one last time (who has fortunately now left) and I wish I had looked elsewhere. If you say you can't make the day/s they do clinic they often send you straight to the hospital to see someone else. Could be worth a try. I've also never managed to get early scans on the NHS. You can barely get a scan when you have a problem so I can see why but its a shame as it can really help mentally.

Sorry to hear anyone who have had spotting and congrats to all those who have had successful scans.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that's lovely news about you harmony test results and your boy. I have two boys and they are brill. How old is your DD? Have you told her yet or will you wait until later on?

@InDreamland The calculators dont work for me at all. I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, cycles 36-41 days long... I dont ovulate until at least CD22 which really threw everything off (leading to a scan way too early, diagnosis of a PUL and headaches all round!!). Had to argue the point and have a scan to get my dates adjusted by 10 days lol. I wouldnt worry about a few days either way, the scans fluctuate anyway all the way through apparently!

I'm having an awful time with sickness, 9+1 today and its horrendous. I actually had 3 days last week where everything calmed down and I thought it was over, but it's back and worse than ever. Grateful everything seems ok, unbelievably grateful, but seeing GP tomo as I'm unable to eat, and even keeping water down is 50/50! I really wanted to avoid drugs in early pregnancy but seems like that's not going to happen!

@Frillyfarmer I’m in Sheffield and here the GP got me in at 5 and a half weeks to EPU and they took care of me until 12 weeks. Have you tried GP? So bizarre how we all get diff treatment depending on where we live. It’s not fair.

@Beaglemum93 thank you fx for us all!

@Frillyfarmer she sounds horrible hopefully you can get a different MW!

I phoned EPU this morning and they've booked us in for a 'reassurance scan' next Friday! Going by LMP I'll be 7+2 but I really think I ovulated late so not sure what I'll be!
I'm so excited. Last pregnancy we never even got to see anything in the scan because it passed naturally during MC. I'm so nervous this time round!

Hope everyone's Monday is going good! Just the week to finish then that's me done for summer! Xx

I'm 4+5 still haven't booked a GP appointment for referral. Do you have to book early or can I wait until after 8 week? My MC was around 8/9 weeks. I don't wanna book anything incase it all goes wrong

@Yukka and @InDreamland thanks for the advice. I've been generally uncomfortable today - not cramps but just uncomfortable down there.

@InDreamland how annoying that you can't get through on the midwife number. Maybe call your GP to tell them the trouble you are having and hopefully they will sort it for you. Or call the maternity ward at your hospital and ask them.

@tinatsarina I don't think there is an issue with waiting a bit longer but you might not want to wait until your 8 weeks since you will only be in the system after that appointment so they won't book your dating scan until after then and depending on your area there can be delays in getting appointments and scans. I understand the reluctance. I have a bad association with the harmony test and scan since that's how I found out about my first MMC but I know that I want the test so I will need to book it at some point otherwise it will be too late to have it.

Hi all, happy Monday, hope your weeks are off to a decent start.

I called my midwife this morning, he is a bit scatty (I have to go in tomorrow to retake a blood test bc he forgot to sign the vial), but very understanding and supportive. He basically told me that with the discharge/blood I'm describing that he's not concerned but said if I was desperate he could refer me to EPU, but I would have to say something different about my symptoms to get seen - basically I would have to exaggerate them. I'm not beyond doing this if necessary but obviously don't want to take away a slot for someone else and decided to wait the day out and see if anything changes. It's mostly been more of the same, nothing incredibly scary although I wish it would stop already! Anyway, I am seeing him in the morning for my blood test so may show him the photos I've taken (gross right) and see what he thinks. I imagine he's seen it all before so won't worry too much about him judging me.

@tinatsarina and @theAntsareMyFriends I've been the same with food for the past few weeks- very few things seem appealing and I often eat only half my meal and then can't stomach any more. Have been eating a lot of plain pasta!