The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

And @coconutlatte44 congratulations on the scan! A couple of days is nothing. Try not to worry but I would check if what you were told is different to what they have sent you just for clarity.

Hi @Newbie21, yes it's got my name on the scan, I just cropped it out. The 8w4d on the top left is the date based on LMP. I am seeing midwife on Tues to redo a blood test so maybe I will bring it in and ask him. I can't face calling the EPU as I don't want them to think I'm totally nuts after they've just gone out of their way to send me a pic (and I already called them once to say the pic hadn't arrived!) ☺️😅 I'm just searching for ways to help calm the remaining fear that comes from two scans in a row being behind what I expected to hear. I think if i actually measured 8+0 instead of 7+5 I could relax for a bit as illogical as it may sound!

Thanks @coconutlatte44 and @Newbie21
I'm still in shock. Did another CB digital and IC this morning just to be sure and all is looking good.
Out for my SIL's 30th today. Dreading my first sober night out but it's worth it!

I'm just trying to be positive- this is new sperm, new egg so completely new pregnancy can't wait to get booked in for a scan.
Hope everyone has a lovely Saturday xx

Does anyone know how I could work out how far along I am? LMP was 15/05 and I think ovulation was 10/06. So am I about 3 weeks??

@Yukka I can't believe how close you are now. It's just so fantastic that you had the right treatment that has worked. How did you cope every day in all the early weeks? Thankfully nothing on the pad after my gym class. What a relief. Although I barely broke a sweat. Fantastic you haven't gained weight (slightly jealous).

@Frillyfarmer I'm as anxious as they get at the moment I think. Every second I feel like I've started bleeding it's horrible. Hopefully you manage to stay calmer than me.

@Newbie21 that's really useful info thank you. I'll give them a call. You're not far from me - I'm in Epping so I go to Princess Alexandra and St Margaret's hospitals.

@coconutlatte44 lovely scan photo. Sorry I can't help with the dates, I am clueless. Hopefully there's a simple explanation and your midwife can help x

@FirstTimeMama91 have a go on this....I found it more useful than the basic LMP due date calculators as I knew within a day or so when I ovulated. You can choose if you want to calculate from LMP or ovulation etc

www.babymed.com/pregnancy-due-date-conception-calculator

@Laney79 thanks lovely! Will try it now x

@coconutlatte44 ahh I see, that makes sense. I do totally understand. Before an MC if a consultant or sonographer mentioned baby was measuring small but no need for concern we'd be thinking ohh great maybe I'm not going to have a huge baby and Labour will be easier, haha. But after an MC - anything not completely text book and we panic. Even though we know there is no such thing as a text book pregnancy. I had my HCG tasted following spotting, the first result was pretty high so they said to have the scan so they could check - there was a gestational sac and a "faint yolk sac" - it was early days so that was a good scan. The second HCG test revealed strong levels and Dr happy. Naturally, I am panicking about the comment "faint" yolk sac and the fact no fetal pole or heartbeat even though they told me it was early. Regular scans definitely help but it doesn't stop us worrying.

@Newbie21 - you have hit the nail on the head, it's like we all want just a little more reassurance than is actually possible for us to get! I was so proud of myself of being so chilled the first time around given my history of anxiety, and then when it ended in loss it totally knocked me off balance.

I'm actually on a fairly even keel now having made it to 8 weeks with a heartbeat, I have accepted this is a totally different pregnancy than the last one. Luckily I'm going away on Wednesday to visit family for a week and a half and then when I get back it's only a few more days to wait for 4 week scan.

*12 week scan!

Hi All, congrats to the newbies and the fab scans from the last few days 🤗

Had a mare on Thursday but all seems ok now. Had an argument with my Dad Tuesday night and started cramping. Cramps continued through to Thursday, and Wednesday night I had some red spotting. Was absolutely beside myself, my nausea had lessened too, was convinced it was all over.

Went to EPU. Dr was talking about referring me to recurrent miscarriage clinic, and saying "after your scan we'll discuss it, if you need medical management.." etc. I know she was just preparing me for the worst but it made me even more anxious! Then had a 3h wait for an emergency scan, which was hell on earth.

Anyway, happy ending for those will spotting and cramping - bean was seen, healthy, well, strong heartbeat and jumping around! Even gave the sonographer a little shimmy. At 6+5 I measured 6+1, on Thursday I was 8+4, and bean measured exactly 8+4, so it has caught up entirely. I have been put on bed rest, which is a tad boring, but a tiny price to pay. My 12wk scan is on 15th July, so I'm on a big countdown to that. I want to reassure myself with the super low mc rates after a heartbeat seen at 8 weeks, but as I'm sure you all understand - that's not so easy!!!

Anyway, congratulations me, I'm having a baked bean with flippers! 9 weeks tomorrow :)

Hi @Mirana, glad to hear all is well!

I've just found a bit of brown spotting but trying to keep cool. I did do a parkrun this morning so possibly just shaking some things loose down there. I hope. Was hoping I might make it to my trip home (Wednesday) without any worrisome signs but I guess that would be too easy!!

@coconutlatte44 that will be good being away and having distraction. Same for me- I'm on hols just now and the day after I get back I've got my 8 week scan - follow up from the last one to hopefully see a heartbeat.

@Newbie21 hope your scan when you're back shows a lovely healthy bean with a strong heartbeat.

@coconutlatte44 it probably was the parkrun that helped some old blood work its way down. I'm hoping that was the explanation for the brown straight after my gym class on Tuesday. Fx it's nothing serious.

@Mirana wyatt a relief for your scan. Lots of rest for you! And no more arguing.

*what not wyatt

@Mirana such a relief that all is well. Hope you can take it easy and you don't get anymore spotting.

@Newbie21 don't stress about the scan. My first was when I was about five and a half weeks (they did one then as my previous pregnancy was ectopic) and all they could see was a sac. I didn't stress then as I was so relieved it was in the right place, that's all I wanted at that stage. Anyway two weeks later and I was a few days ahead at 7.5 and then was dated four days ahead when I thought I was 10 weeks. Everything is so small at the start but a few weeks can make all the difference.

@Mirana what a horribly stressful time you've had! Glad to hear all is ok and I hope things are sorted with your dad now too.

@coconutlatte44 please don't worry about early measurements! I've said this before on this thread but they always say a week out is fine.

So I am feeling really panicked today and yesterday. The novelty and excitement of knowing it's a boy has worn off and I feel really worried for some reason. Not sure if it's because my scan is looming (Tuesday) or because my nausea seems to have eased up a bit, should be 12 weeks today or tomorrow. I was dog tired yesterday and had to go to bed for two hours in the afternoon (big thanks to DH who sent me upstairs and cleaned and looked after DD!) but I'm less bloated and don't feel pregnant anymore. I'm convinced it's going to be bad news on Tuesday. It's weird because all I've wanted is to get to this supposed 'safe point' and tell people, and now I can't even imagine telling people or talking about it at work and being open about being pregnant. I just can't even believe it could be real and actually happen and I'm so worried for bad news on Tuesday. Sorry for the waffle! Probably not even making sense but feels better to get it out!

Hey @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - just read your post and I felt exactly the same. My symptoms started to gradually decline from around 11+5 and started to feel like myself again. Of course I feared the worst for my 12 week scan and assumed it was all going to go south and history repeat itself. Even though my dating scan showed a healthy heartbeat, a few days on I am back to worrying. I think it's natural for us to do so. I am trying my best to shake the negative thoughts and to start focusing on the 'what could be', which is incredibly hard. I am sure your scan will go very well and start to enjoy feeling good again and been able to get through the day without falling a sleep at your desk 😂😂

Anyone else just stare at their BFP and not want the writing to go away?! I said to myself I would try not to get my hopes up but can't help it x

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I think that it's natural to still have anxiety around upcoming scans. Try to focus on the fact that so far everything looks positive. Will repeat what offers have said on here, symptoms come and go. Could it be that as you're so close now to the end of the first trimester that it should be that symptoms should ease around now anyway? Your feelings are normal for someone who had been through what you have.

@FirstTimeMama91 I am the same. I've lost count of the number of tests I've taken in the past 2 weeks. Totally normal though when you've been through pregnancy loss. Fx this little bean sticks.

I admit to POAS again this morning. I just don't feel pregnant. No sore boobs, no nausea, nothing. Of course IC strip is a blazing positive and came up in about 20 seconds of dipping it but I'll still can't believe I'm pregnant, like I'm in denial in a way even though I know I am. I feel nothing like I did with the other two pregnancies. Only 5+4 going by LMP but with first pregnancy I really felt it at this point.

@InDreamland thanks missus fx for you too xx

Thanks @Newbie21, @InDreamland, @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue.
Have moved on from the dating obsession to the obsession with the brown discharge. Got to have something to worry about I suppose!
Keep telling myself that the heartbeat at almost 8 weeks is the most important thing, and I had pink discharge at 6 weeks and all was fine after that.
At least I've made it past booking in appointment this time so I have a midwife to speak to - should I call him in the morning and ask about the discharge?
I'm hyper focused on the fact that I'm going away Wednesday and will feel like a fraud celebrating with my family if I'm not fully convinced it's working out.

@coconutlatte44 I definitely think there is no harm in telling your midwife about the discharge. They may say, since it is brown that there is no cause for concern etc but I am definitely supportive of keeping your medical professionals informed to ensure you get best care. Tell them you are going away so is there anyway of getting some assurance before you go.

@coconutlatte44 definitely call your midwife to ask about it. If you're worried or anxious they need to know and hopefully they can help with reassurance that things are ok. That way you should be able to relax more on holiday.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate having people to discuss it with. My husband is really supportive but it's not quite the same for him. Still finding some every time I use the toilet, but it's not a lot. No cramping or anything.