The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@Beaglemum93 that's such a lovely scan. You can see the babies cute little face!

@KnitKitty I hope the hives have gone away. I think its fairly normal as I've had random hives during previous pregnancies. I think you are particularly sensitive to things that normally wouldn't bother you. I know lots of people who suddenly become allergic to their face cream, make up or sun cream.

@InDreamland Backstreet Boys 'Get Down' was the first single I bought so I'm very jealous of you getting to see them. I'm so glad you were able to go and hope you enjoyed it despite the worries.

My increased discharge yesterday turned pink in the evening. It was just a bit on the paper when I wiped and I've had no more since but its hit me hard as I've only ever had bleeding in the pregnancies that have ended badly so I feel like this is a bad sign. This is how it usually starts and I'm so worried that it will get heavy over the weekend when I should be going away with my DP and DSs. I was feeling tentatively hopeful over the last week so this has brought me really low again. Just trying not to think about it and get on with work but I just want to hide in the loos all day.

@KnitKitty mine went away after about 16w though I am left with a mark/scar on my chest where it was worse. I don’t know if this will go after pregnancy or not but the actual pupp did. I used E45 Itchy cream (not normal e45) but the gp can give you something stronger for it if it doesn’t feel better.

@theantsaremyfriends if it was yellow and went pink it could also be a urine infection that is non symptomatic. This is common too. When are you seeing midwife?

Sorry still catching up on this thread :) lovely to see so many pregnant ladies. I know it’s scary x

@Yukka thanks for that suggestion. It hadn't crossed my mind as I've not had any problem when I wee. I'm seeing a MW a week tomorrow. Do you know if it will affect the pregnancy? If so I could try to see if I can get referred to a EPU although in my area that can take up to a week anyway unless bleeding heavily.

@theantsaremyfriends you would need a urine test really which I’m not sure epu do - do you have a number for midwife or antenatal clinic? If it were a uti the sooner it’s treated the better really to make sure it doesn’t head north to your kidneys -they’re busy enough right now pumping hormones round your body :) if you have midwife number I would text/email, if you don’t I would call gp. You could give it today to see if it returns to normal or changes, but if it doesn’t I’d be tempted to call them x

@Beaglemum93 ❤❤❤❤❤❤ gorgeous scan photo!

@Mirana welcome to the thread. Everyone here is so supportive and totally get the anxiety of pregnancy after loss(es).

@Amanda81 good luck for today!

@tinatsarina @KnitKitty @theAntsareMyFriends they were AMAZING! Had such a good night (even if I was fretting about starting to bleed). Sore throat this morning from all of the singing and screaming

@KnitKitty glad it's gone down now but very odd it went so soon after a shower. Wonder what that was. Mine was eczema that I always have but quite mild so it really flared up badly in first pregnancy from around 7 weeks. Maybe it is a mix of stress anxiety and hormones. Goodness knows what our bodies do sometimes in pregnancy.

@theAntsareMyFriends can you call your EPU or midwife just to get checked out? Just to be on the safe side.

@theAntsareMyFriends and no it wouldn’t have an adverse effect on the pregnancy at this stage, it can reach the baby but usually well caught before then as you would be Quite symptomatic and get treatment before that happened.

Your mc at 12.1 is really shitty, remember at your stage now the odds are well in your favour (0.2% or something) not easy I know when you were in that group before. Stay positive and keep us posted xx

Sorry to all those I've missed. Have read everything but finding it hard to try reply to everyone on every post. Think I missed a lot yesterday as work was so busy and then out in the evening.

On the sickness/nausea, I always get terrible nausea when travelling on the trains but have never thrown up in all 3 pregnancies. Also get lightheaded easily when travelling.

Thank so much for the advice. I called my MW unit but they only answer the phone before 9am and the GP can't see me until next week, after my MW appointment so I think I will try the MW unit again tomorrow. I haven't had any more blood just a bit of yellowy discharge so I'm hoping it will go but I'm going to drink plenty of water today and hope for the best.

For me the worst thing about MC is the unpredictability. It can arrive at anytime or might not and its that nervous waiting for something that may or may not happen which is so exhausting.

@Yukka thanks for the reassurance. That statistic is good to see as although I was unlucky last time the odds of it happening again are slim so I'm just going to keep on hoping that nothing get worse today.

@theantsaremyfriends glad it’s easing, even Green discharge can be normal although you wouldn’t think it. Hit the cranberry juice too, great for washing out bladder issues. But not too much as can make your wee pink and cause more anxiety. Just a glass or two each day.

I’m assuming its not smelly or anything either, you are probably fine but do call mw again, you have every right. At12w appointment they’ll tell you to contact them any time you have a sign of uti anyway x

@theAntsareMyFriends your right about the unpredictability of it all. That's the bit I hate the most not knowing if or when it'll happen

Hi

I hope you don’t mind me posting.

I came across this thread by chance, I was on the JKS threads this time last year and recognise a few names. I had a mmc in April 2018 at 11+4 and was very supported by the women in the penguin huddle.

I stopped posting as I was one of the annoying ones who fell pregnant pretty quickly after (4th cycle)
I can totally relate with how you’re all feeling- I don’t think I said the words ‘I’m pregnant’ out loud - in fact I think that’s the first time Ive even typed them. I don’t think I relaxed at all the whole time, and only told immediate family and then it wasn’t until 28 weeks.

Anyway, tldr, my new pregnancy was successful and my little Elsie is now almost 4 weeks old and an absolute diamond. I just wanted to write with some positivity and say that it does sometimes work out, even when in your heart of hearts you really don’t expect it to. Sending you all lots of love and luck and my sincere wishes that your rainbows will all arrive happy and healthy xxx

@KeeefBurtain so lovely to hear your news. Congratulations! I remember you from the huddle. I had an MMC same time as you. It's great to hear positive outcomes. It's funny before an MC when you fall pregnant you look at pregnant ladies and think "snap" or in a few months I'll have a bump like that. After an MC it's so different. I saw a heavily pregnant lady today playing mini golf with her DD as I was playing with my DS, they were about the same age. I commented to my hubby how lovely and lucky that she was pregnant. My husband looked at me as if I was mental and said "same as you!" Maybe when the bump appears I'll become more convinced that it will happen. Did there come a point when you were like "wow, yay, I'm pregnant" or does the fear last the whole time?

@Yukka I just wanted to say you have a lovely reassuring presence. Thanks for your posts of advice and encouragement.

@theAntsareMyFriends I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

@InDreamland I'm glad you enjoyed the concert. I think it's great to do something like that to take your mind off things and let your hair down.

@KeeefBurtain I remember you (because your username made me laugh). I am so glad you took the time to come on here and share your wonderful news!!! Congratulations!

Well I've had a day full of nausea and vomiting. Threw up three times at work and found it really hard to concentrate. Seemed to have hidden it from colleagues quite well, but it sucks when all you want to do is lie down with a bucket and you have to act all normal. My boss is in our office tomorrow (she's the only one who knows about the pregnancy) and I think I'll tell her because if I'm like this every day it's not going to be sustainable.
I did keep lunch down for a few hours. And I've just eaten a sandwich. Off to acupuncture soon and will have tea after that. I thought eating regularly was working well at staving off the sickness, but this morning I threw up just after having a snack to stop the queasiness. Might have to try some ginger biscuits. Sucking a mint helped for all of 10 minutes this afternoon. Any other tricks you guys use?

@theAntsareMyFriends fx that everything is okay and glad it's eased off now. Hopefully it was nothing to worry about. Totally agree about the unpredictable nature of mc. Hence why I'm still popping a pad or liner on every day.

Due to my total lack of pregnancy symptoms I ended up POAS on IC 5 mins ago. Line came up within about 10 seconds and was darker than the control line. I'm going to take a CB digital on Thursday morning if I haven't started bleeding by then and hope it comes up with 3+ weeks.

@KeeefBurtain thank you for sharing your story and news and congratulations! Lovely to hear there is some possible light at the end of this long long long dark cold ans damp tunnel.

@KnitKitty I found travel sickness bands (those ones you put round your wrists with the acupressure points) worked when I travelled on the tube in my first pregnancy. I might need to dig them out again actually.

Thank you. I was in two minds about posting but I’m glad I did.

@Newbie21 I’d love to say it doesn’t but in truth there was an underlying fear the whole time. I think I started to relax a bit once I’d reached viability and started to show, and then really let myself get excited (and buy alll the things!) from about 32 weeks.

Congratulations @KeeefBurtain that’s lovely news :)

Thank you @KnitKitty I’m glad I can help or reassure in some way. Having come so far myself this time I’ve learnt a lot about life after mcs. Ginger biscuits, ginger tea, sliced apples and cheese, and hash browns for sickness! Nibbling rather than meals but sounds like your doing that. I also switched my hours a little so I could be at home when I was feeling the worst then I didn’t feel stressed x

Ladies I think it's over. Went for a wee, wiped and it's brown. Really brown with a 2cm long thin stringy bit. Knew this was too good to be true.

Sorry you have more blood @InDreamland, brown as opposed to red is still good. Hope it's just some more old stuff and doesn't get worse .

When I saw the GP about sickness last pregnancy the best bit of advice she gave was to rest, easier said than done but definitely a correlation between lack of sleep and being more sick. Luckily DD is sleeping much better this time round.

I had a hard morning this morning, took DD to a play group we regularly go to. There was a newborn baby there with its older sibling (I always find siblings and a newborn more upsetting than a newborn just with mum), there was also a few other people pregnant with there 2nd. Conversation was centred around these pregnancies and also mum's with 2 or more children, I couldn't join in with any of it and felt jealous that they were so full of positivity. Not there fault at all but I miss the naivety I had before. I encouraged DD to play in the other room and a friend comforted me while I had a cry.

There was supposed to be paragraphs in my previous post but they have disappeared.

Thanks @Bluebelltulip problem is this is how AF usually starts. With DH's sperm DNA fragmentation and poor quality I knew this was highly likely going to happen. Just annoyed that for a moment a few hours ago I dared to hope because I had a really strong test line that came up in seconds. Such an idiot.

It is hard dealing with all these pregnant women with their bumps and all positive and excited. Without any idea how lucky they are to have textbook uncomplicated straightforward easy conceptions and pregnancies.

@InDreamland don't write it off. My AF, since my last MC, always starts with brown spotting just like you describe. Well that happened this time a few days after AF being due and I assumed it was AF but then it stopped. Turns out it was IB (which I have never had on any previous pregnancy) so please don't be too disheartened. Call your gp tomorrow and try and get an EPU appointment. How far along are you?

@InDreamland has there been anymore? Remind me how many weeks you are? It could just be implantation. Can you get an appointment at the EPU or early scan? If that will even make you feel better. I'm keeping positive for you and everything is crossed xxxx