The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@tinatsarina I had nausea early on actually. In waves but it's not so apparent now unless I'm really hungry.

I've never had morning sickness. I thought maybe it would kick in this time since I'm on holiday so it would be Sod's law that I'm sick as a dog in my hols. Normally I dread end of holiday but I have a scan the day after I'm back so I'm wishing the time away a bit even though I'm terrified of having it.

On the paranoia of the loo...apologies for the TMI but has anyone else experienced this? I'm 10+3 today. Went to the loo for a poo, but when I wiped I noticed I had some jelly like discharge from my vagina-two blobs slightly smaller than a 5p.

I'm petrified it's my plug coming away...please anyone else had this? X

@Amanda81 will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope it all goes well.

@InDreamland I didn't feel pregnant for a long time with this pregnancy... It's partly why I had to keep testing because I just couldn't believe that I'm pregnant. Yet I started having some morning sickness for the first time just before 6 weeks. Some women don't even get morning sickness, so you might not 'feel' pregnant for a long time, but it doesn't mean anything is wrong.

@Laney79 Two things. Firstly, I think when you do no.2 it increases your secretions (maybe a natural way to make sure vagina stays clean and no bacteria gets in from 'the other side'??) and since you're pregnant, you'll probably produce more of it. Also, are you sure it was from your vagina and not mucus from your bowel? Have you been constipated at all? Either way I'm certain it's nothing to worry about! I know every time something 'different' happens it sends us in a panic, but please try not to worry.

Have any of you started telling people you're pregnant yet? When did you bite the bullet?
I told my mum very early on because I was such a bag of nerves and needed her support and she's been great. But I haven't told the rest of the family yet which I feel a bit weird about because we're very close and part of me thinks the extra support would be nice, but another part of me doesn't want to put them through another MC/false hope...
I had to tell my manager at work to get time off for my EPU appointments and midwife appointment but she works in another office. I'm finding it harder and harder to hide it from the colleagues I work with every day... I'm sure they suspect something.

@Laney79 I always have increased discharge after a no2! I think it's protective and also maybe something to do with pressure?!?

Re: symptoms I had sore boobs in the beginning and sickness started in the 7th week and has pretty much remained. I have only thrown up a handful of times but the nausea is constantly there. My diet has been shocking as food turns my stomach. My boobs are often sore in the morning and sporadically but definitely not as bad as the first few weeks.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow @Amanda81 xxx

Thinking of you for tomorrow @Amanda81 every time I feel a twinge I panic inside that it's cramps starting.

Thanks @KnitKitty and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - it was deffo front door discharge and it was worrisome because of the jelly consistency-previously I've had extra "normal" discharge with no2's but not like this. I just hope everything is ok in there. Scan on weds. I should be 10+5 according to last scan x

Hi hope everyone is well.
Had a bit of a name change I am ( niamhzoes ) have been watching the thread but not writing, had horrible anxiety all weekend It's honesty been horrendous! Every cramp and every time I went to the toilet I thought the worst and I've spent the whole weekend not doing anything.
2 days ago my clear blue digital said 2-3. Which was correct, today at exactly 6 weeks I thought I'll do one to hopefully help my anxiety and I'm happy as it now reads 3+. Its abit strange as I've also woke up today with terrible nausea and heartburn! Taking this as a good sign.

@nzs2019 I know the feeling. I've been like that today. But it's good that the dates have went up.

Good luck for your scan @Amanda81

My nausea (and now vomiting) has gotten worse at 13 weeks, I thought it was meant to be better now... I don't think my body understands how to be pregnant...

On the plus side I had a private scan this evening and the baby is looking perfect. They showed us the baby in a 4D scan for a while which was incredible! I've attached the 2D photo.

Lovely scan @Beaglemum93 - so sorry about the sickness, I hope it eases soon.

I don't mind the sickness to be fair, in a way I'm glad to finally have a proper symptom!

Lovely scan @Beaglemum93.

I got my 12 week scan date today, it's 5th July, I'll be 12+2 by LMP or 13 from my early scan, I was getting a little worried it would be late but has worked out ok. Now just got to arrange childcare for DD. My sickness appears to be subsiding, still feeling very tired. Going on holiday with my mum next week so hoping I don't feel as tired then as I've got to do all the driving.

Hi, could I possibly join you all?

Age:28
Children:None
MC 2014, 4wks
MC 2015, 5wks
MMC 2015, 9w5d

Currently 8+1. I've been trying to be sensible, but my emotions are running so high that I really just need people to talk to who understand. When I was 4+5, I had cramping with spotting. Spoke to EPU, due to my long cycles they were ADAMENT I was 6+4. I argued, they told me I was wrong. They scanned me despite me saying it was too early. Nothing seen on scan apart from tiny sac. They told me I was either miscarrying, or most likely, it was ectopic. I had the blood tests for hcg to try and get some answers. At 4+5 hcg was 1405. I went back 2 days later, in a complete state, and my levels were 3030+. Lots of laughing from midwife "oh haa haa! We were probably wrong!" And booked me a scan for 15 days later.

I was in pieces, between the spotting, cramping, being told it was ectopic/miscarrying I had already said goodbye. Midwife told me there was still a decent chance of ectopic. I had my follow up scan at 6+5 - to my utter disbelief, saw baby, yolk sac, heartbeat, everything was perfect.

Am now in the limbo waiting for 12wk scan on 15th July. Already had my booking in appt with midwife from hell, refused me any extra support, brought up social services as I have had depression since my spate of miscarriages, and all she talked about was pregnancy loss. I asked for a reassurance scan and she treated me like a scrounger, giving it the whole snappy "you'll have to pay for that" spiel. Kept going on about my age, although my notes say I'm turning 29 next month (I look far younger). I'm feeling so lonely and unsupported.

Sorry for the essay, I just have to let everything out. I'm seriously tempted to pay for a private scan next week just for a tiny bit of reassurance, but in my mind I'm 100% certain it will be bad news if I do. I have no idea how I'm going to get through this to 12 weeks.

On the plus side, my story is probably the messiest out of everyone here right now 😂😂 at least I bloody well hope so!!

Hi @Mirana I've seen you on the January thread. This thread is a good place to vent. Have you looked at getting another midwife? With your history I'm surprised an early scan wasn't offered.

Do you get an early scan if u have had one MC or is it if they are recurring?

Hi @Mirana, I am 8+1 as well judging by last scan although a few days past that by my own estimates. Sorry you're having such a miserable time with your midwife etc, I hope it gets better for you.

Good luck tomorrow @Amanda81.

@tinatsarina I think only if recurrent ie you've had 3 previous unless there is any cause for concern - spotting, bad cramping etc.

@Amanda81 best of luck for the scan tomorrow. The sore boobs are back so maybe like you it's worse in evenings!

@Laney79 I think I have that too. It's thick and creamy not clear jelly though but it does keep freaking me out. I remember discharge with my DS but it was so much later on. Had we not had losses before we wouldn't even be noticing all of this. It is so frustrating.

Hello,

Sorry, this is a quick selfish post; will catch up with you all later but I'm in panic mode right now.

I've woken up with hives on my arms and legs. It's itchy (but I'm trying not to scratch). I'll call my GP when they're open, but I'm just worried.
Not allergic to anything that I know of...

Morning. I didn't start bleeding at the Backstreet Boys concert last night thank goodness but I did constantly feel like I was. I just don't really feel pregnant. Still expecting to lose this one soon.

@KnitKitty hope it's nothing serious. It may be hormones causing the hives. My skin flared up terribly with pregnancy #1 it was so painful, itchy hives that started weeping, it was awful.

I'll have a catch up on what I missed on my way into work.

@InDreamland was the concert good?

So I'm 3+6 today this was when my last CP happened. Got a pad on just incase but so far nothing.

@KnitKitty could be PUPP I had this in early pregnancy but do speak to the gp for a diagnosis. There is a whole world of stuff that happens to our bodies in pregnancy that we don’t know anything about...!

Thanks @InDreamland. It started last night as I was going to bed and I started getting a panic attack so I lay down and did some mindful breathing and fell asleep. I was a bit shocked when it was worse when I woke up. Since getting up and showering the rash has completely disappeared so I'm not going to waste the GP's time but it was very odd. I don't know if it was hormone related or stress related or a mixture of both. When I was a teen I had chronic urticaria and was on antihistamines for two years for it... I finally got rid of it when I had a few sessions with a psychotherapist, so it could well be the stress manifesting in my skin. I hate how easily I go into panic mode.
How was the concert last night? I'm glad you didn't bleed. Stay strong. Keep trudging along; it's all you can do at the moment and you're doing really well (even if it doesn't feel like it).

@Beaglemum93 Amazing scan! What a lovely picture. I'm so glad it went well. I know what you mean about not minding the sickness... I'm my happiest when I feel nauseated or throw up....

@Mirana Hello. It sounds like you've had a horrendous time! Can you request another midwife? And is it possible for you to contact a different EPU near your area and tell them about your experience? If I were you I would be writing a complaint about all this, but I know that might just add to your stress and I imagine you want to stay as calm as possible. Certainly look into having a private reassurance scan if you think it will help. Stay strong!

@Yukka Thanks, if it keeps happening I'll contact the GP. Can PUPP go away again then? I thought you were stuck with it during your pregnancy once it started. It's reassuring to know you went through this.

@Laney79 really nice to see how far along you are :) the jelly discharge sounds totally normal. It would be pink/blood tinged if it was mucus plug. You will find as pregnancy progresses the discharge varies from creamy and thick to clear and gooey - it’s left over hormones so is a response to whatever your body was doing that day to grow your baby. especially now as your placenta is developing really fast aswell as baby.

Good luck for your scan xx