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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Fight with DP

179 replies

GoingtobeLonely · 18/07/2007 11:51

Have been posting on here for a while but have changed my name because i am ashamed, last night my DP and i had a huge arguement in the middle of our road, in which he spat in my face, threw me to the floor and chucked me in the bushes several times, broke my necklace, smacked me around the face, shouted a lot and went to kick me, he rufuses accept that he has done anything wrong and just excused himseld by saying that i have made the last month of his life hell, i have been quite hormonal as i am 5 months pregnant, he kept asking if i am going to give him the last month of his life back, he then went on to say that it wasnt his baby and told me to have an abortion and that he wasnt going to do 'more than he has to' this upsets me because its our child that will be loosing out more than me, we will live together seperately and im also worried that he will bring people back to the house with him

i dont know what i am expecting by posting this on here, just hoping for a bit of advice and support i suppose! i feel so

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/07/2007 13:16

Do you know how many times my DP has hit me in our 12 years together?

Nada, not at all, not once, zero, NEVER. He's a big guy, and he has had anger issues in the past, but, do you know what he does? He WALKS AWAY from me. He may even have hit an inanimate object once in temper. But never me. NEVER EVER.

It is NEVER okay to be hit by your partner.

Hobby my arse. One-off my arse. Easier when the baby gets here MY ARSE.

Please please please listen to what we are saying to you. Why do you think you dont deserve better?

Lumos · 19/07/2007 13:20

GBTL I really am beginning to wonder why you asked for advice. Not one person here has said 'Yes you are right, it won't happen again, he will be a great dad'.
I asked yesterday waht do you WANT. We can all post til we are blue in the face but ultimately we can only offer words. YOU need to change things by walking away.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 19/07/2007 13:23

Goingtobelonely - I read your thread yesterday and it really stuck with me. I told my DH about it when I got home and he was virtually in tears. He could not believe that a) any man would hit a woman anyway but b) to hit and degrade a pregnant woman? He was absolutely beside himself.

I read a story in the newspaper this morning about domestic abuse being on the rise. Apparently, one man and effectively tried to "kick the baby out" of his partners stomach during her pregnancy. Now surely even reading those words would make you recoil in horror. Darling, that's the very behaviour that your partner is exhibiting. Get out whilst you still can

claraq · 19/07/2007 13:23

It seems that you are accepting his appalling behaviour because you saw your dad hit your mum therefore you probably think it's normal. Which means if your child sees its dad hit you it will think its normal. And the cycle will go on and on and on. Why not break it now?

And can only agree with all those who say its going to get harder and not easier after the baby is born. What do you really think it's like looking after a newborn? Unfortunately most first time mums don't have a clue, they have this rosy-eyed view of motherhood as being all sweet smelling cuddles and wet kisses. Pah!! It makes pregnancy seem like a walk in the park. And yes those hormones stay with you for a long time.

Original poster
GoingtobeLonely · 19/07/2007 13:58

my DD didnt hit my DM, only me, and i know that the sexual assault wasnt my fault, because i was 13, it took alot of counciling to realise that though.

OP posts:
Original poster
GoingtobeLonely · 19/07/2007 14:06

Shit! ive just been fired from my job!

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 19/07/2007 14:07

OMG! Why?

hoolagirl · 19/07/2007 14:12

Well there is nothing to tie you to the area then, how many more signs do you need to make you realise its time to move on?
Or are you waiting to receive a kickinig first for losing your job?

Sorry to sound harsh, but you have made excuse after excuse to stay in an abusive relationship and tbh not sure why you posted in the first place.

Fireflyfairy2 · 19/07/2007 14:13

I wish you would growp up & get real.

Do you think every pregnant woman is getting battered by her other half because she is producing pheremones? ffs!

You know what your dh needs? Someone to come & knock seven shades of shit out of him! That's what. Let him fuckin see what it's like to be spat on, slapped, kicked. The fucker.

But... you are letting him do this to you. And probably your little baby when it's born too.

Are you going to explain to a child who has a bust lip & a black eye "We'll get used to it, we'll just try to cry silently so we don't upset daddy"

Get a grip woman, leave him.

And as for your dad hitting you when pg, why didn't you report him to the police for assault? You sound like you have just gotten used to being a human punch bag & are learning to accept it. Well, that'd your choice... doesn't your baby deserve the chance to make a choice too? Not handed over to a bastard who tried to kick he/she before they were even born.

Original poster
GoingtobeLonely · 19/07/2007 14:17

because i have been really snappy at work recently, i just feel so stressed, i lash out at other people, am v. worried about telling him, i dont think he will hit me but he will certainly be pissed off
OMG, that means im going to loose my mat pay

OP posts:
Fireflyfairy2 · 19/07/2007 14:18

Are you still at work?

Meeely2 · 19/07/2007 14:19

you can't be fired for being snappy?

PregnantGrrrl · 19/07/2007 14:21

i'm starting to doubt the poster to be honest

LaBoheme · 19/07/2007 14:23

what on earth...???!!£?

bundle · 19/07/2007 14:23
Hmm
BarbieLovesKen · 19/07/2007 14:24
Hmm
Original poster
GoingtobeLonely · 19/07/2007 14:25

i only work here as a temp, they dont need a reason to get rid of me.
i dont care if you dont beleive me, nobody has said anything nice to me anyway, only "oh look what your going to do to your baby, grow up," ffs i didnt post on here to have everybody have go go at me, really i just wanted a vertual cuddle but i have neded up just trying to defend my corner.

I DONT GIVE A SHIT

OP posts:
Meeely2 · 19/07/2007 14:25

GTBL, if u are not genuine, i think you need to quit now as we are all wasting our time councelling you when we could be helping people in genuine need......

RGPargy · 19/07/2007 14:26

i'm with PregnantGrrrrl on this one.

Meeely2 · 19/07/2007 14:27

we have been nothing BUT nice, we are all genuinely concerned about your safety....the problem is you have not been told what you wanted to hear so I suggest you look for other sources of friends who will tell you what you want to hear....

Fireflyfairy2 · 19/07/2007 14:27

Jesus.... "Nobody has said anything nice to me"

Grow up you petulant child.

You obviously don't give a shit about the new life you carry.

LaBoheme · 19/07/2007 14:27

unbelieveable

hoolagirl · 19/07/2007 14:28

Try defending your baby's corner, its not just about you anymore.

Meeely2 · 19/07/2007 14:28

did you honestly think by posting we would all just say "there there isn't DP a naughty boy for hitting you, here have a cuddle it will all go away?"

Meeely2 · 19/07/2007 14:29

you wanted sympathy and attention, you got it, but you also got a group of people who think violence is wrong, however you do not, so we are never going to agree....

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