Catching up with those from TTC thread- 3

[EltzBee]

A new thread as we're approaching the end of the last one!
@sunshine1987 @SullyWifey @mrsof20118 @GemmaJen @RanchoRelaxo @Delilah7 @Crossfitgirl @EltzBee @AngeloMysterioso @ChaosMoon sorry if I've missed people please feel free to tag people I've missed so far!

@canonlyhopexo it's understandable and there is no rush to buy anything. Me and DH went to Mothercare last weekend, my mum commented that she didn't go baby shopping until she was huge as otherwise she felt like a fraud. Though my mum has a habit of saying strange relatively unhelpful things, lol. I didn't feel like a fraud, but the choices were overwhelming so we've started researching and budgeting but won't plan to buy for a while. Saying that, I have started to keep an eye on second hand items and we have bought a large item for the nursery as something came up at the right price. Hopefully picking it up this weekend 🤞

It definitely is worth looking early as there are so many things to consider and it'll take a few visits and go at things to work or what you do like. We're looking already but won't be ordering til May time. Some things can arrive quickly and others do sound like they can take a while!

Bought my first maternity jeans today - my normal jeans are starting to get tight ☺️ For anyone interested TopShop have some of their maternity jeans half price in the sale. Yay for different leg lengths too, hopefully they'll be comfy 🤞

I never thought to look at Top Shop @GemmaJen. I hope they're comfy!

So I think someone asked me to report back on my nursing bra shopping. Of the 10 I bought, 8 are going back. There are three that I may reorder once my milk has come through, but at the moment they're no good. Most were just so high under the armpit, they would drive insane and rub all my deodorant off.

I've attached the two I've kept. They're really comfy and, while they may get snug when my milk comes in, it'll be good to have something to feed in when baby gets here.

So I think someone asked me to let you know what happened with my nursing bra shopping. Sorry, can't remember who it was.

Of the 10 I bought, 8 are going back. There are three that I may reorder when my milk comes through, but they're not right now. Most were so high under the armpit, they'd have driven me insane and rubbed my deodorant off.

I've attached an image of the two I kept. Not sure how long they'll last when my milk comes in, but they're comfy now and it'll be good to have something to feed in when baby gets here.

Oh FFS. Sometimes I hate my phone.

Thanks everyone. Yes trying the old wives tales! Saw the midwife today who wanted to start talking about induction (just to make me aware etc - but wanted me to make another appointment to discuss it) but I basically refused to have the conversation. I'm very aware of what the process is, and I think having another appointment at the hospital will stress me out. Next appointment is therefore routine and next Friday when I'll be 41+3 - but hopefully baby will be here by then.

@LuckyKitten13 any movement yet? I’m sure you’ll have your baby in your arms in no time

Did anyone struggle with sleep in the first / second trimester? I used to live for a lie in but now I wake up every couple of hours needing a drink and I can’t sleep past 7am. I miss good sleep. 14 weeks tomorrow and officially in the second trimester, will start telling people at the end of the week.

@stormtrooperjulian I only got my BFP last Sunday-I've had the worst weeks sleep in a very, very long time. I'll fall asleep about 9.30pm but wake up around 1am and don't get back into a proper sleep (just toss and turn) and then I'll be wide awake anytime between 5am and 6am. I had been putting it down to a cold and hip pain (I've got arthritis and have stopped taking pain relief)- but now I'm thinking the hormones also have something to do with it!

So guys... I'm debating calling in sick tomorrow. I know we have no staff all week and the manager i job share isn't going to be in, so everything will be left to me. I already feel stressed about tomorrow. I keep getting what I think are palpitations or my heart pounding just thinking about it.
I never take sick days unless I absolutely have to, but I'm considering taking some almost as damage control as I genuinely think if I go in, my stress levels will soar again and make me ill. I've already had headaches all weekend that won't go away. Would I be unreasonable to not go in?

@Crossfitgirl not at all your health and the babies health comes first xx

Thanks @mrsof20118. I've just had a chat with DH and told him how I'm feeling but he still thinks I should go in, but I should just "not give a fuck". I don't think he quite gets it, I'm in a managerial role and have responsibilities and things booked in that I already know will make me stressed - I've literally just cried talking about them as it's the same every single week, I know I'll come home feeling like I've been hit by a train. I can anticipate my stress levels and I really don't want to put myself in the position in the first place. The coming week is going to be ten times worse than normal as some idiot above me has just let everyone off on annual leave and not considered that half the team is already off on training or essentially are not going to be in the office. At least if I'm not there, people have to sort things out themselves for once and not just come straight to me to sort everything out for them. I know there is a nightmare of sorting that will need doing, and since my only help is also off on leave, I don't know how I'll manage. I spoke to my manager about it the other week and asked for help but there is literally none available we are so short. I've also got 2 really awkward staff members to deal with that really aren't my responsibility but again as I'm the only person in, I'll have to step in and do it, and I'm dreading it like the plague.
I will maybe just see how I feel and if things get too bad, I will say I'm not well and leave.
I hate this situation.
:-(

Please don't go in @Crossfitgirl. If this is getting too much then you absolutely need to take some time for your health. You're mental health is just as important as your physical health.

@Crossfitgirl what's the benefit of going in lovely? Other than an immaculate sickness record. Stay at home. Chill out. Have a day or week to yourself. What are they going to do when you're on maternity leave? They'll have to cope then. If it's damage control you're far better not going in IMO x

Well, I've tossed and turned in bed for a couple of hours and can't sleep. Still got a massive headache and can't stop worrying about work and planning for work.

I'm now worrying about what I would say when I rang in, I can self certify for up to a week so I can either tell the truth and say I'm taking the week off due to stress... Or I can just say its something pg related and have a couple of days or so to get my head straight and avoid what would be the most awful days this week. I think even that would help.

I have some time off booked quite soon after next week, and due to training etc my busiest days are actually taken up, and it's only about 5 weeks until this secondment ends so there is an end in sight very soon.
It's literally just this week I know I'm going to be at risk of exploding and having a meltdown if I go in. It doesn't help I've worked myself up so much about it already.

Can't believe I'm worrying so much about this. I feel so stupid.

@stormtrooperjulian sleep is usually my best friend, but not any more, often elusive or interrupted and I'm always getting up for the loo. Only 16w so can't imagine how it's going to be further down the line. 🙈

@Crossfitgirl if it's causing you excessive stress, don't go, your health needs to come first and stress is a slippery slide, it'll likely only get worse, so look after yourself. They can't expect you to work under this pressure and need to sort the staffing issues. Can you make a complaint to HR?

We had a scan yesterday, the aim to find out the sex. Well our little one was having none of that! Hands covering, legs crossed and cord firmly tucked between the legs, lol. The poor sonogropher tried her best for 45 minutes with no luck. One minute she was convinced it was a boy, then a girl, eventually she said she just wouldn't want to call it. We don't mind either way and it was so lovely to just watch little bean moving around, and looking so much further along😊 She kept commenting on how huge the hands and feet were and the length of the legs, think we're getting a tall one, though looking a lot more like a frog than a baby 😁 🐸

Added bonus - We get to go back for another scan in a few weeks to try again, hopefully baby will be less shy by then. 😊

And we've inadvertently bought our first big item, looking in mothercare at prams while we waited for our appointment and they had the car seat we wanted on offer at half the price - ex display, saving us £200. Couldn't say no to that 😁 Think we've decided on the pram as well, but no need to buy that for a long while yet.

@chaosmoon @canonlyhopexo @gemmajen @mrsof20118 I've decided not to go in, I know if any of you ladies had posted that I'd be telling you the exact same. Me and baby come first.

I'm going to take a couple of days.
Do you think I should tell the truth or just for the sake of a couple of days say its a bug?

I don't want to have to feign a sick voice as I'll worry about lying too, but equally the whole going off work with stress thing, it will get round the office no matter how confidential it is, and I don't want to be pushed to see the GP, as I know exactly what the cause is and know it will end soon. Xx

Good move @Crossfitgirl. You've made the right call. Tbh, you can probably get away with the implication that is just another bought of morning sickness. Just a general pregnancy feeling horrendous, need to stay in bed and not move too much.

It won't count towards your sickness record if its pregnancy related and, as you've already got a long/medium term plan for dealing with the work stress, I don't think you'd necessarily benefit from bringing it up again. Unless of course you want to go down the complainant route, in which case, let them know that it's stress.

@GemmaJen sounds like ours at our 20wk scan. We didn't want to know the gender but it would have been nice to see it's face! How lovely that you get another go though.

@Crossfitgirl I think you've totally done the right thing not going in. As for telling them the reasons why I think I'd be honest and just say I'm finding it really stressful due to X Y and Z and that is implicating on my health at the moment which I need to be putting first due to my pregnancy. I'd say about the headaches and maybe whack some nausea and sickness in there too for good measure - and just say don't know if that's pregnancy related, or through lack of sleep with stressing. You've done the right thing xx

Thank you @chaosmoon and @canonlyhopexo I feel much better about it just having made a decision not to go and acted on it. I have just rung, and in the first instance I haven't even had to give a reason as we just have to ring the receptionist and she didn't ask, so I'll be waiting for a manager to ring me at some point no doubt. I think I will just tell them my symptoms and that I probably won't be in tomorrow either, then tell them I think stress caused them when I go back. Which to be fair, is the truth.
I hate the whole ringing in business.

@gemmajen ahh sorry you didn't find out the sex, but pleased you got to see the little one for so long! It's so amazing isn't it. There's still plenty opportunity to find out later :-) which car seat did you go for?
We are looking at the cybex platinum as you can lay it flat so you don't have to take the baby out x

@Crossfitgirl sounds like a good choice. Hopefully with everyone back from leave in a few days it'll be easier?

That's the one we went for - the cybex cloud, fancied the z but mothercare we're selling the q for half price. So for sacrificing the rotating function it was a good deal. We're not planning on getting a pram bassinet as we'll be in and out of the car so much, hoping the lay flat feature will be a good compromise. Plus less stuff to buy and store 👍

@crossfitgirl glad you called in sick, you and baby come first xx

@Crossfitgirl well done Hun you have to put yourself and baby first, stress is as valid a reason as anything!

So today is day 4 in a row of not being sick AND I actually managed to wake up at 7am and not need to reset the alarm, and got to the office well before 9am. Feels like a huge achievement!

Thinking of confessing (announcing) this afternoon too to get it done now I feel like I can talk to people without falling asleep or getting sick 🤣🤣🤣 17+3 today.

Thank you girls. Just worrying about my manager ringing me now lol hate waiting for calls! I'm going to go for a walk to see if getting some sun will help and also help me sleep better tonight.
@sunshine1987 that's what I told DH, and he's said I've done the right thing too. Phew.

@gemmajen I may do some research on the car seats today as we plan to get our travel system from mamas and papas (the ocarro pram) but it may work out cheaper to get the car seat elsewhere if there's offers on. At least I can make good use of my time off. Haven't really looked at the features or types yet but a friend recommended the lay flat types and I think it'll work for us too. They're just a bit heavier is all.

@eltzbee oh I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better and that it's seeming to be consistent!! I hope this is it disappearing for you now, fingers crossed! Good luck with the announcement, very exciting! Let us know how you get on xx

@crossfitgirl thanks hun! Well I did it and did the big reveal simultaneously in the office and on 'social media' so we've officially told people. Eeeeek!