Catching up with those from TTC thread- 3

[EltzBee]

A new thread as we're approaching the end of the last one!
@sunshine1987 @SullyWifey @mrsof20118 @GemmaJen @RanchoRelaxo @Delilah7 @Crossfitgirl @EltzBee @AngeloMysterioso @ChaosMoon sorry if I've missed people please feel free to tag people I've missed so far!

Just tagging myself (nice bumps girls haha)

So glad you're feeling better about it all @Crossfitgirl. Sometimes just knowing things are going to improve is enough to take the pressure off.

Here's my bump pic at 37 and 4.

Thank goodness baby was being discreet @sunshine1987!

I'm so glad it went well @GemmaJen. 🤞 It won't affect the work your given. You never know, b things might improve as she'll be more aware that she can't be seen to discriminate against you because of the pregnancy.

Hi ladies, just a quick check in! Had our midwife appointment this morning , all good and got to hear the babies heart beat which was amazing! Sounded like a horse was so weird! Was 147bpm. Felt more real hearing their heart than just seeing them on a screen weirdly!

Hope everyone else is doing all right. You guys have such tidy bumps! I'm a size 16 on the hips/belly usually and just feel even fatter lol.

Joining in the bump pics. 23 weeks 💙
@EltzBee so the old wives tale of a galloping horse was true for you. Mine was definitely a train 🥰 it's so lovely hearing the heartbeat.

@MrsC87 seems that way! I'm hoping our 20 week scan in 3 weeks time agrees with the 16 week scan lol!

Bit annoyed as I've just found out that whilst female employees at my work only get Statutory Maternity, the men get an Enhanced Paternity pay. Seems wrong to me to offer one group enhanced and the other only statutory!! Got a meeting with HR tomorrow if they don't cancel it again to discuss my pregnancy and plans...not that I have a clue as to my plans yet beyond 'Grow Baby' and 'Push baby out'.....

@eltzbee @mrsc87 the midwife hasn't listened to my baby's heartbeat yet. I was so disappointed! I only got to hear it at my private 16wk gender scan. Do they listen at the 20 week one?

Also, that could be considered discriminatory that men get enhanced and women don't. I'd query it. Is it a big company you work for? Good luck with your HR meeting! My manager has been a bit shit and so far hasn't really given me any helpful info. She's booked to do my expectant mothers risk assessment mid April, exactly a month after they are supposed to do it (which should be at 19 weeks!). Despite me telling her my stress levels were impacting on my pregnancy anxieties.

Can't wait to have a year off!

How long does everyone else plan to take off? And how long before due date are you thinking of finishing? Xx

Also, love the bumps ❤️❤️❤️ I'm so glad that so far we all look fairly different! Just goes to show there is no "normal". Just normal for us! Xx

No they didn't listen to it at the 20 week scan with me @Crossfitgirl that's such a shame, I thought that's one of the checks at the 16 week appointment?

I've put my maternity leave in already, finish at 37 weeks (have a desk job) and have holiday to use meaning I actual start maternity on my due date 16th July. I have a lot of holiday so from end of May will work 3 day weeks. I intend to take 9 months, it's only stat maternity pay and I earn more than my hubby. So we are saving to cover the 9 months then I will go back 3 days a week.

Have you thought about what you plan to do @Crossfitgirl
Also that's totally awful @EltzBee, I would be asking HR what there reasons are for that...it's definitely discriminative and needs challenging x

@Crossfitgirl ah no! I thought it was standard for them to do it at 16 weeks. We recorded it, I keep wanting to re-listen to it :)

Yeah that's my opinion as well, that if they offer an enhanced thing for men, they should at least offer that as a minimum for women as well (because technically I could just take 2 weeks off, but I'd be off for 90% salary and a man would be off for 2 weeks at 100%!).

It's not a small company, I think we're between four and five hundred globally now. They're a US technology company, so they don't really 'get' maternity and only offer the utterly crap statutory minimum for UK employees. I'm only the 2nd woman in UK to be pregnant.

I've gone back to HR when they sent me the policy saying I was disappointed by it - it's quite unusual in this industry tbh to have such a crap deal (especially when they love proclaiming they're supporting women and championing women etc etc, ah irony). So this is something else I will be flagging tomorrow that it's brilliant they support new Dads, but what about us women at least getting that same benefit? It'd be fairly cheap to uplift two weeks of our 90% to 100% - it's the principle of it that's really wound me up!

I'm not sure yet how long to take off in total or when to go on leave. I'm thinking maybe either 2 weeks before due or 4 weeks before due, depending on what holiday I have. But so aware that with our household income taking a huge dive when baby comes, it might be good to try and work for as long as possible... so far this year, I've got 5 annual leave days booked (4 for a holiday, and 1 for a spa day for our anniversary), so that I think leaves 19 days for the rest of the calendar year which I'm going to do my best to save! Thankful that there are some bank holiday weekends in May/June which will help with getting some mini-rest breaks in at home. I've got enough in savings for me to be able to take a year off but would obviously rather not use all of that!!

We have been making some bigger purchases lately though, like we got poles/curtains for 3 rooms and a couple bits for the house, and got air con fitted, so I know the past couple of months have been more expensive than normal and actually things should be okay. Apart from all the baby stuff to buy! I did see that John Lewis and Mothercare both do 0% finance, so even with the cash sat there waiting, we might do that because why not, may as well earn even the small amount of interest on money in our account instead as it won't cost anything to do it that way. There's no discount anymore for paying cash after all! lol

@mrsc87 that is very organised and it sounds like you've really thought it through. We've worked out what we'll have financially if I take the full year off but that's as far as we've got. @eltzbee be interesting to hear what they say. America is notoriously bad for maternity. But still, you have a point, you could at least get the same 2 weeks enhanced that men get! We have savings too but don't want to use all of it. Didn't know about 0% finance, I will be definitely looking at that for nursery furniture. We've got some big house purchases coming up soon too, we will need to pay for our sofa and the loft boarding out, then the nightmare that is decorating and getting other bits of furniture. So much expense 😢

I also have a lot of holiday as I have to take my full year's annual leave plus bank Holidays before I go. Most girls at my work have gone off maybe a month or so before their due dates, so I have thought I will use my annual leave to go off 4 weeks before, and start actual mat leave on my due date. It still leaves me with enough to have a few days holiday between now and July and wind down to 4 then 3 day weeks during the month prior to going off.

My job involves driving to and from patients houses, doing physical things with them sometimes including exercise classes and swimming... There's not always anywhere to stop and pee, and it's very mentally and organisationally challenging at times, so I think I want at least 4 weeks.

But then, I don't know how I'll feel - I might be fine to work longer (could actually really use some holiday days now rather than later to get the house sorted before I start getting really big) , or I might have awful aches and pains and be exhausted. I also don't want to go off TOO early in case baby is late and I get bored, but likewise I don't want to leave it too late in case baby is early and I get no time off before. My friend went off 5 weeks before due date and gave birth the day after she left work!

Not sure about hours when I go back, I'm currently full time. It depends completely upon the cost of childcare and weighing that up against having time with my child, and earning what we need to live. I'd love to go back 3 days a week, but I feel like I need to see what happens after she's born and then decide. Our parents can't offer regular childcare so we'd be reliant fully on nursery or childminder and I've not looked into the cost or logistics or anything as of yet.

God its all so scary! All I have so far is a breast pump and a little hat and mittens set! I feel like this is all way too far away in the future but actually it's a very real thing we need to think about as well!

Hi everyone. Just coming here to moan (hope that's okay!). I'm 40+3 tomorrow and for the last 2 days been feeling really uncomfortable and grumpy. I've loved this pregnancy up until now! I know there's nothing I can do - I just need to rest and suck it up, but it's so hard when everything hurts. I can't even put my own socks on easily any more. Give me a shake will you!!

20 week bump pic, I still look like I've eaten all the pies!

We're so not organised yet, I think next week's scan will be the thing that gives us the push. I need to look at what maternity I can afford, hoping for maybe a year. Bought nothing yet either! Though we have been sorting the house out instead.

A point about childcare @Crossfitgirl, some nursery's have a waiting list and in some areas it is advised to pop your name down even at this stage, crazy I know.
Thankfully my mum works in a school with a nursery and has told them I am expecting and when I intend to put baby in nursery (only 2 days per week). It's £42.50 for a full day at my nursery of choice. So quite costly!! 😳
I am a spreadsheet, organised, freak out if not type of person. Nursery painting tomorrow with the hubby 😆

@LuckyKitty13 sorry you're feeling down, but hopefully soon you'll get to meet your baby 💗💙 any signs of labour yet?

Thanks @MrsC87 no nothing yet really. I've had some Braxton Hicks 48hrs ago and maybe some period type discomfort - but really nothing to write home about. Just hope baby makes an appearance soon. Seeing the midwife tomorrow and plan to walk there if I can (just over a mile) to try and get baby moving.

Glad to hear everyone else is progressing well - some lovely bumps!

Will keep everything crossed for you @LuckyKitty13 & look forward to seeing pics of baby ☺️ have you had much time at home to relax, have you finished for maternity recently? x

Thank you @Crossfitgirl! The odd twinges have continued today, so it'd reassuring to know it's to be expected.

So many neat looking bumps!

That sounds like a wonderful appointment @EltzBee

@EltzBee that's awful- I also wonder if it's discrimination.

@LuckyKitty13 hopefully you won't have to wait much longer.

Loving all the bump pics! I just look a bit fat at the moment 😂

@EltzBee must have been so lovely to hear the heartbeat! My midwife said she’d try to find a heartbeat at my 16 week appointment so I’m going to take DH with me so he can hear it too

@Crossfitgirl I’m hoping to take around 9 months off including my annual leave entitlement. I’ll work as late as possible as I want the maximum time possible with my baby. My DH will be a SAHD when I go back to work so we won’t have to worry about childcare which is nice

@MrsC87 my DH is the organised spreadsheet person in my house, I know he’ll be making maternity leave and finances spreadsheets soon. I’m more of a ‘wing it and it’ll be fine’ type.

Lovely bump pics girls.

@Crossfitgirl I heard our baby at 13+6 and then once more since at another appointment with midwife. They check it at every appointment here. I'm going to be going on leave at 34 weeks I think which will be 28th June. Providing our figures are right, I'll be taking the full year. I work for NHS and my trust only allow you to take the annual leave you've accrued between 1st April-intended start date of maternity leave before we go and then remainder for the rest of the year is added to end of your maternity. The way mine works out I'll have almost a whole years worth to add onto the end plus I can anything I've accrued in the time between April 2020 and going back to work. So essentially I won't be going back for almost 57 weeks. I want to do KIT days and it might change anyway depending on circumstance etc. We are very lucky we have family who have offered to do childcare. We've also started cracking on with a few jobs left to do in our house. We bought it in 2016 when it was just a shell and completely renovated it from top to bottom inside out so luckily we don't really need to do anything too major or expensive. More like finishing touches but by looks of things everyone has bits to do to the home in prep for a baby!

@EltzBee I'd definitely be querying that. Is there any way you can contact the other person who had the baby to see what she found? Doesn't seem fair at all!

@LuckyKitty13 ahhh any day now for you! How you finding sleeping etc? Hopefully it won't be long and your gorgeous babe will be here.

I'm taking the full year with some leave on either side @Crossfitgirl. I finished at 36 and 3.

Oh and they did listen to the heart beat at my 20wk scan, so you might be lucky.

@EltzBee I agree, that's not right. I could understand an enhanced package that pays men for longer than the statutory two weeks, as that would ultimately benefit both parents. (Mum having more sorry in the early days is a good thing for everyone) But to pay more for the allotted period is just wrong.

I don't think you need a shake @LuckyKitty13. Maybe just a hug. We all have this coming at the end - goodness knows I'm starting to feel it already. I hope you don't have long to wait. Have you got things to distract you in the meantime?

@luckykitty13 you poor thing, you're right at the end now and your baby will come any day now, it's bound to feel uncomfortable. Have you tried anything else to help speed along? Bouncing on a ball, eating pineapple and all the rest of the old wives tales? Can't hurt! No doubt your baby will be here soon when good and ready! Good luck xxx

Me and DP have a rare day off together that isn't a weekend so we're taking a bit of a road trip to a big industrial estate to look at the pram we think we might like! Im 20 weeks today but I feel like it's far too early and I feel more anxious and nervous than excited. I keep thinking that we don't actually have a baby yet so shouldn't be looking but obviously I know that's not the case and we will need to be prepared and can't wait to buy everything until babe is here! Does anyone understand what I mean? It just gives me anxiety thinking about it all. I've barely been out the house my whole pregnancy so far apart from work due to horrific sickness and this will be my first "big day out" so don't think that helps. Am I being a drip!? Someone give me some tough love!

@canonlyhopexo I feel exactly the same. I'm still not believing it or expecting it to happen. Hopefully after next weeks scan it'll feel real again and we'll start seriously baby shopping. Have nothing so far!