October 2019 thread 2

[Secretlifeofme]

Hi @CowBrow and everyone, thought I would start a new thread since the old one has filled up and I can't find another! If there is one and I've missed it, let me know how's everyone doing?

Has my early scan today and turns out I’m a few days ahead of what I thought and measuring at 10+2. Was really worried before the scan as had lost symptoms this week which was exactly what happened with my MMC but was a relief to see the little arms & legs moving about 😍

@Lisaloo88 wow those are lovely clear images! Glad the scan went well :)

@Claireb2203 I get the exact same lump in throat feeling! Gaviscon helps a lot with it!

So was just wondering if anyone had gone through something similar and could let me know how it went.

This morning I had a car hit the back of my car at a force it moved me from stationary and caused lots of damage. I have been to a&e as precautions no bleeding and slight cramping so they no too worries but they have booked me in for scan and check up with gyno ward on Monday. Think I’m more paranoid as first pregnancy I had a little bump, again someone going into back of me but no damage, at 23 weeks and at 24 weeks went into labour with my daughter and although she stayed put until 39 weeks I bleed throughout the rest of my pregnancy.

If anyone could put my racing mind at rest I would be great full xx

@doop welcome! I think it's great to be open about these things. I haven't been talking about it because I didn't want to bring the mood down! I have GAD and depression and am staying on my SSRI medication throughout. I am not ecstatic about this baby. It is also a now or never decision. I am 36 and thought it would take a couple of years to conceive like all my mates. Oops.
I am so not ready. I am not even sure I want one. DP and i debated it for 2 years, both on the fence. Once we decided life would be pointless if we didn't we just went for it.
It's probably, I hope, 1st trimester messing with my head but I have a serious doom feeling. I have changed my mind. I cannot imagine caring for a child and since I've been so sick for weeks it's starting to feel like a nightmare. I wake up in a panic imagining my baby in there and feeling like i want to claw it out. I've never had any kind of psychosis but I am starting to get very worried how this is going to turn out.
So yeah. Total downer. Feelings of major guilt that I conceived so easily when others struggle. That I don't really want this when its others dream. I resent how sick I feel, I am hating every moment of every day. And if it sends me mental then this will be the worst mistake of my life.
Still. I'm getting through each hour at a time with any distractions I can find, CBT techniques and reading these forums. When I can work it is far better as time goes fast. Being sick has meant a lot of days stuck at home in my own head.
I'm sure it will turn out fine. It has to, right? We don't have a choice. It will come out some way or other and then we will look after it and we will be great mums because the internet will tell us how. Its going to be fine x

@faelavie do u use the liquid gaviscon or tablets?

@Claireb2203 Tablets, because that's what hubby picked up for me, but liquid is fine too!

@Beeseeinya.... we sound very similar. I am staying my fluoxetine too.
My partner said he felt like he wanted a reason to go to work and to not allow himself to be hungover every weekend and we discussed that its what every organism lives for so once it happens it will feel natural. I hang on to that hope. It makes no sense to me that it would be this off putting. Ive never enjoyed other peoples children, but people keep saying its different when its yours.
I seem to be passed the extreme doom and waking in the night in a sweat crying "i cant do this", but i think that is the feeling that its the only time in life where we are set on a track that we cant stop, slow down or know whats to come. We have no control. So ive decided to just go along with it day to day and hope my anxiety behaves itself.
I feel loads better know others feel like this and still love the babies when they arrive. I was convinced that people who said itll all be worth it had normal brains when mine obviously doesnt work properly. So i take great comfort from these forums.
I also feel massive guilt for how i feel. It must be very difficult for people to understand... i just wanted to feel love and coziness.. but I dont. At the moment I am happy to just feel nothing. Its better than the doom.

@Mummsie1
That sounds really scary at the best of times. Hope everything is ok. I was with a group of my SEN students in a sports hall and they were playing football... balls were flting at the walls everywhere and i was scared one was going to hit me. No one at work knows so i felt trapped in there. These are scary times!

@doop thanks. I too work with Sen children but I have told 2 tas as my class have some behavioural issues and I didn’t want to have to intervene during this time as can get physical. But I kniw what you mean about feel in ‘danger’ sometimes stepping out way and praying that child doesn’t catch you as they walk pass while have a little break down is just one of them.

Just praying Monday everything is fine and this is just another bad experience to add to the list.

Hello all it's been weeks since I have been on here. I could not log in for some reason.

I remember someone mentioning a facebook group awhile back, how do we join that and is the thread still going with all the names and due dates?

I bet it must be massive now!

I am 12 week on Monday, can't believe it, so sick of feeling sick and really hope it eases soon.

I was deciding whether or not to have the 12 week scan but think I will. Its next week.

Congratulations to all the people who have joined too

x

Hi ladies, sorry for not posting much but I’ve come down with a horrible cold that has floored me. I am taking paracetamol but not finding it very helpful so sticking to 2-3 doses a day; have got some remedies to try and unblock me as well as try to clear my sinuses as they are so painful!!

@HarryPottersSecretSister, sorry for not replying earlier; yes I’m doing SW and, despite 5 weeks away on my cruise and eating mostly carbs, I only put on 4lb. It was what I lost the last week before I went away so I didn’t mind too much. As said above, pregnant women get 2x HExB and 3x HExA and the focus is on healthy eating not weight loss. I am just over a stone from my target weights and would like to think I can be disciplined enough to minimise weight gain and perhaps even be lighter post delivery than I was at the start of my cruise!!

I was cross that, at my appointment on Wednesday, my midwife weighed me 1/2 stone heavier than that as well as knocking 2 inches off my height which put my bmi over 30 and into automatic GTT territory. I’m debating refusing the test (I can’t do the standard test because of previous surgery preventing me from drinking the sugar rich drink they make you have for the test) because it’s need is based on flawed data.

Back off to sleep now and hope I can shift this cold and feel slightly more human!!

Happy St Patrick's day!

Having to be sober today kinda sucks tbh 😂

@Rememberallball thanks so much for that. (Is it three hxa or is that a typo?) well done on your tiny gain. You'll knock that off in no time. Like you, I'm not expecting weight loss- I just want to damage limitation so I don't feel like complete rubbish with 10 stone to lose once the baby has arrived (only slight exaggeration)

@faelavie I'm Irish, living in Ireland and I dread this weekend every year. Absolutely hate it. Roll on tomorrow! 😂

@Womblove love if you search Christina Peak on FB (military profile pic) add her and pm her that you'd like to join the group, then she will add you 😊

My reassurance from my reassurance scan was short lived.
Sonographer said all looked absolutely fine and detected heart beat at 172bpm (first time I've been told that) but my baby looks teeny compared to all the other scan pics I've seen in our FB group from around the same time. I mean tiny. Which is odd as he/ or she measured a week further on than my dates... (making me 9+1 today instead of 8+2)
Pic is really blurry as he or she kept floating about too much and wouldn't sit still but is really a dot compared to the other scans I've seen.

I'm overthinking this, right?

@harrypotterssecretsister I don’t think you can compare in that way-mine looks very small and unclear. Try not to worry they would have said it there was a problem.

@HarryPottersSecretSister What do you mean by tiny? If it is just of how the picture looks then I would worry because it would just be on how much they have zoomed in. Did they tell you the measurement? The sonographer should have measured the baby to come up with an estimated date so I wouldnt worry - easier said than done I know x

Hi I'm 9+5 first baby due 15th October. It's been a long time coming for me and my husband and so I'm excited but incredibly nervous. First midwife appointment done, and all was well, just awaiting 1st scan in a couple of weeks. I've been lucky to have only a little nausea which has now passed!

@HarryPottersSecretSister Yes you’re overthinking it! If they measured baby 1 week further on than you thought, then it is a perfectly normal size! They’re literally just a blob at this point anyway!

@JimJem Hi, welcome, congratulations!

@HarryPottersSecretSister, no not a typo. We get one extra HExA and one extra HExB and, at Christmas, they increased everyone’s HExA to 2 a day so we get 3!! I like the 2 HExB as it means I can have 2 wholemeal rolls or a large loaf of bread sandwich rather than a small one!!

I'm thinking of trying slimming world too. I was heavier than ever when I fell pregnant and I think my bmi was 29 and I'm worried will tip over into 30 before my booking appointment.
Do you think it works do it online? I can't stay awake late enough to stay at the meeting 🤔

Actually, may I also have your opinion on my appointments. I'm currently 11 weeks and my booking appointment won't be until 4th April. Then I go on holiday for 2 weeks so my 12 week scan will be super late. I called and flagged it with them and they didn't seem fussed. Should I be bothered do you think? I guess I am just reassured because I've had a private early scan...

I can't believe how useless I feel today. I've got up, had breakfast, sorted some washing and washed up. Dh took dd to the cinema and has basically entertained her all day while I've sat on the sofa or fallen asleep. I've apologised so much to dh as I feel awful.

@Frizzy1986 tell me about it! Talk avout sluggish. I started thinking maybe im anemic and thats why i feel like this. I cant muster up any energy and my partner has been for a run! The thought of it!! And this back ache! Ugh! If it carries on i might have to see the dr. I feel like my hips arent lined up anymore!

And the thought of feeling like this at work tomorrow...😣