October 2019 thread 2

[Secretlifeofme]

Hi @CowBrow and everyone, thought I would start a new thread since the old one has filled up and I can't find another! If there is one and I've missed it, let me know how's everyone doing?

@Jodie6 my BMI when I checked in was literally 30.2. I was a bit annoyed as I weighted half a stone heavier on the hospital scales as I do on my own. All they said was they are going to have to do a blood test at 28 weeks for something (can't remember exactly!) but they didn't show any concern about it!!

@HarryPottersSecretSister I was planning on keeping up with SW but at the moment I'm just trying to get through the day with whatever the hell i can actually eat!! Maybe when everything settles down I will try again!!

@sal1987 well that's good, I've just read so many things about being over 30.

@HarryPottersSecretSister well I'm kind of taking it easy because I'm just feeling so tired. But I'm hoping it will ease up after 12 weeks and then I'm going to go onto SW properly to try and not gain too much over the remainder of the pregnancy.

@Jodie6 @sal1987 That blood test at 28 weeks will be the glucose tolerance test (GTT). Annoyingly I have to have one too, not because of BMI but because I have family history or diabetes. :(

Hi everyone,
Ive decided to brave this thread.
I am 8 weeks and due 20th oct, but i have been spending most of my time over in the anxiety and not happy groups.
A little about me:
I am 38 years old. I was advised due the endometrosis to get pregnant 10 years ago as it could take years. So i did...and it happened shockingly quick. It sent me into a spiral of anxiety and i had a full breakdown, about whether i was with the right person and whether i even wanted the responsibility. I lost that baby in a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. I was so upset, but i felt like i wasnt upset ebough and felt guilty. My mental health has been up and down since.
Anyway, the anxiety was so bad that i put off pregnancy until now (truthfully because i am 38 and it feels like its now or never).
I went through a couple of weeks of panic attacks and regret, but nothing like last time.
I dont feel overjoyed and am very nervous about telling people and my body changing.
Im 10 years older and my back hurts most days. I feel so tired and am a part time teacher/part time ceramicist with a huge trade show coming up in april. Just so overwhelmed by life. Luckily i havent felt too sick.
I seem to worry about something every day. Today (started in the night) is downs syndrome. I teach people with downs so it seems so common, why wouldn't it happen to me!? I know how demanding that life is and it scares me.
Sorry for the long post. Tell me to bugger back off to the worry groups if i am bringing the vibe down 😨

@Doop absolutely do not bugger off please!
Huge, huge welcome to you and congratulations.

You poor love, it sounds like you've been through the absolute mill.
I have GAD and tend to get consumed with anxiety at times so kind of understand although I reckon I've been much luckier as my health issues aren't as severe.
I really feel for you. Pregnancy is worrying enough without having that debilitating anxiety on top.

It sounds like you're doing great though. To recover from both a breakdown and miscarriage is no easy feat. And then to establish two careers.
Sorry if I sound patronizing - the furthest thing imaginable that I mean to express. I'm just in awe of your strength and think you sound brilliant. ❤️

Please don't be so hard on yourself!

Thank you! I didnt expect that response. I feel like i am always so negative and bringing people down.
Ive worked really hard to try and control the anxiety and going part time and starting my business was part of that.
I just really really hope that even if it has special needs i wont care and will love it. I really worry that i wont enjoy being a mum and that ill be too lazy and create a monster!

Nope, all I've done for this entire thread (so far) is moan and complain to be honest!
Everyone here understands (I reckon it's kind of why we have these threads- the first 3 months are so horrible with worry and tiredness and sickness and everyone has their own issues so it's lovely to have somewhere to vent where the people actually get it!)

Do you have any reason to believe your baby might have special needs?
You're still very young.
Is there a family history?
Or is this just the horrible anxiety making you worry about things that don't need worrying about (again, I can't explain to you how much I understand that and often walk around telling myself to stop it and calm down)

I think everyone worries about what type of parent they will be. I had my oldest 1 month after my 20th birthday and thought (because of my own childhood issues) that I had completely screwed up her life forever before she was even born and that I was already clearly a terrible mother.
My parents weren't very good with the entire parenting thing and I worried I didn't/ wouldn't know better.
Fast forward almost 14 years. I don't care how conceited it sounds because I'd be lying and doing her an injustice if I said anything else: she is the loveliest, most thoughtful, kind, helpful and considerate girl I have ever met in my entire life. She's absolutely wonderful and although I didn't have her under ideal circumstances, I obviously did something very right with her. You will too. You obviously have a lot of experience with children from your line of work so you probably don't even realise how readily equipped you are.
Again- stop being so hard on yourself! X

There is no real reason, other than why wouldnt it happen to me? People in my office have special needs children and ive never been the type to think itll never happen to me (except when it comes to the lottery!).... last week i was worried about twins. Ha!

You sound like you were a natural! I hope i can say the same in the future. Ive got my fingers crossed I wont hate it. Thanks for replying, it really is appreciated. And i will keep you updated x

@Doop welcome to the first trimester. It's a crazy hormone fueled roller-coaster through a haunted house. Honestly it's a bit pants that you feel so awful early on but it does get better (pregnancy that is).

I worried constantly that I would be an awful parent with my first pregnancy. Then she arrived and I lowered my standards to both of us being fed and clean on a daily basis. This time round I'm worrying about mc, genetic problems and how will DD 1 react.
Be kind to yourself. It's a wild ride but so worth it.

Hey, mind if I join? Due 1st October with baby number 1. Feeling rubbish but super excited!

Hi everyone 👋

Thoroughly fed up with feeling ill today. Haven't left the house on the weekend for three weeks now I've slept nine/ten hours a night the past few nights and just slept for eleven hours and I still feel like I've not been to bed. Ready for my life back now!

I also was supposed to have had a dating scan date in the post in the week following my midwife appointment (so by Thursday just gone) and it hasn't arrived yet so haven't even got that to cheer me up...people who have got dates for them, what was the latest they arrived? I'm 9+4 today so there's still time but we both need to book it off work etc.

@Woolly17 how's the stomach bug today?

@Clare1990 welcome and congrats! 🎉🎉

@princesstinnedpeach you sound like me last week. I really feel for you. It's awful. Nausea has eased off (for the minute anyway!) here but the tiredness is horrendous. Like you, I'm sleeping loads but constantly knackered.
Hopefully this will ease off for us all very soon. Surely we're almost there?

Paddy's weekend this weekend.
Jesus Christ I hate it.
Roll on Monday

@HarryPottersSecretSister
Still not great, I can just about face a digestive biscuit and homeopathic tea. At least I've stopped puking.

Welcome @Clare1990.

@Princesstinnedpeach feeling your pain. Just a couple more weeks and we should start to feel better. I'm in week 11now so hoping to see the end of the nausea and exhaustion soon.

@doop welcome. I suffer from GAD and was on medication prior to ttc. You sound like you really suffer horrifically and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy as its awful.
I find it's nice to hear that other people feel as rubbish as I do. I remember the first trimester being tough last time but not this bad. I get lots of random cramps which I'm adament means bad news.

@princesstinnedpeach I called for my scan straight after my booking at 9 weeks. They only give the number out to you at that point. Mine is on Friday when I'll be 12 weeks. I'm petrified and excited that this secret may soon be able to be told.

Anyone else suffering lower back pain? And tightness around lower tummy? If I stand for too long I feel sick, trying to shower and wash my hair is a real ordeal. I’ve tried over the bath but that made my back ache and tummy hurt. Might have to resort to sitting down in shower. I’m 10+5. Never had this with dd. Struggling to find anything nice to drink other then water and full fat coke, which I don’t really want to drink but I love a fizzy drink and it’s the only one I can tolerate, that and milk, and 1 cup of tea first thing in the morning. If I have anymore I’m sick. Feeling fed up now, really want to feel like me again although I’ve forgotten what that feels like. I can see why pregnancy causes depression.

@frizzy1986 I have my scan on Friday too! Can’t wait to see the little bear! Will this be your first time seeing baby or have you had a private scan before? I’m worried there’s not going to be anything there which is a load of rubbish because only a baby would explain why I’m sleeping so much, why my boobs are so much bigger and why I cry during rugby matches!

Any of you lovely ladies who have had a baby before... please tell me that it gets better once you reach the second trimester?! (Even if you’re lying... just say the words!!!)

@Claireb2203 my back is killing! I have a bad back anyway, it really is annoying. I cant stand for long, which i have to because of my job...so even if im not feeling sleepy, im in discomfort.
I would love a bath... but i like them hot so im not allowed.
On another note, does anyone else dread the attention? I am not looking forward to telling the world at work or my niece (she will be soooooooo excited, she is 7 and has been telling me she will probably have a baby before I do!), but i dont know why. Is it because i dont feel excited myself? My partners friend is coming round now, he was told yesterday and now im sitting in the bedroom avoiding him!

@clare1990 I had a private scan at 7+5 but it hasn't stopped me worrying.
And in my last pregnancy it definitely got better. I definitely felt more myself with lots of energy after about 15 weeks.
I wish I could sleep. My bloated tummy makes sleeping quite uncomfortable so I'm not sleeping well yet am awfully tired. Feeling super nauseous today too which sucks.

@doop welcome! I don’t know if it helps but even though i’ve been very lucky not to have any general anxiety issues i’ve spent most of the first trimester worrying about all the issues you talk about. I think it’s completely natural. Don’t beat yourself up for it. X

@doop I can't wait for people to know then I don't have to pretend I'm fine when actually I feel like crap 😂
Thanks ladies, nice to know what I'm feeling is normally even if it is horrible

Also keep feeling like I've something stuck in my throat most of the time, not sure if it's pregnancy related or not

@Doop you're absolutely fine to have a hot bath if you want one as long as you're hydrated and don't stand up too fast etc - basically as long as you're not going to faint. Your body is very, very good at regulating its own temperature. God knows a relaxing bath is what you need when you're feeling rotten!