October 2019 thread 2

[Secretlifeofme]

Hi @CowBrow and everyone, thought I would start a new thread since the old one has filled up and I can't find another! If there is one and I've missed it, let me know how's everyone doing?

@saffy347 I think you need to have a proper grown up talk with him and explain exactly how you feel. The work that comes with having a child needs to be shared and you need to be a team. He needs to understand that.
My dh sucked a bit last time round. I've had words though and he knows I won't be taking any shit this time. Other wise I will literally tell him to go to his mums.

Anyone else still getting cramps. I've been getting on and off sharp pains today. They only last for a few seconds and they are probably totally normal but just wanted to see. I'm just over 9 weeks and am still feeling sick, tired, sore boobs, but this on and off sharp cramping worries me with 3 weeks still to go to the 12 week scan.

Of course you're not being unreasonable @saffy347! When you say his step daughter what do you mean - has he got a child that isn't his visiting you both and having you look after him/her? It's absolutely not 'your fault for getting pregnant' if you were trying for a baby - please don't frame it like that in your mind or let it colour your conversations with him about it. He must be shattered working so many hours so you should both be extra kind to each other right now, but he still needs to step up, both now and when the baby comes.

Hi princesstinnedpeach. It took a while for my dh to accept that parenting and household responsibility was 50 50 unless otherwise agreed. some people grow up with role models who behave in the same ways and literally don't know how to be different. You absolutely don't have to accept his behaviour though and have every right to stand up for yourself. Best wishes xxx

Sorry obviously I meant that for saffy

@saffy347 of course you are not being unreasonable. Imo, it wouldn't be reasonable to expect any child's father to babysit the odd time whilst you are primary care giver. Not good enough.

I know I'm being terribly blunt but as someone who's on number 4, who is with my now husband since I was 16 and who fell pregnant with number 1 when I was 19 (DH was 21 and still had a huge amount of growing up to do) I urge you to start as you mean to go on, insist he steps up, insist he does his part, insist he shares half of the work or you are on path for some very hard years ahead and it will enviably build huge resentments and arguments within your relationship.

Nip this in the bud now. This is his baby too.

Many of us have to work. People all over the world (and throughout history) have to go to work and then take care of a family and a home on top of it. It's fairly standard. It's not unusual. Work is not an excuse. He's being very disrespectful to you.

Sorry for being so direct but I hate when men try to pull this shit on women.

Hello, can I join the October club too?

I’m 8+3 with my 3rd and due around October 10. Nausea is 24/7 and completely debilitating.

How’s everyone else finding it?

Welcome @nuggles

Ahh I felt so shit yesterday and today the nausea is relentless. Nothing I eat is taking the edge off at the moment. When does the placenta take over? It wasn't this bad with dd.

Thank you @Frizzy1986

Same here, nothing is keeping nausea at bay. Much worse 3rd time round for me. I have a reflexology appt this week so hoping that takes the edge off.

How many weeks are you?

If someone else says try ginger again 🤬

I sympathise girls nausea is horrific, I suffered so badly with my last 2. The only thing that kept it at bay was just eating constantly (and I mean constantly) I eat lots of fruit and carrots sticks at that time. Hopefully it will pass soon 🤞🏼

I’ve also been getting some cramping on & off over the last few days, kind of like a pinching feeling but sometimes a heavy feeling like my period is due and I’m freaking out after having 2 losses before. Got a scan on wed so fingers crossed it will all be ok.

8+6 and doing pretty well. I'm travelling for work so active, not feeling exhausted or nauseous. Had a moment when brushing my teeth as always. Other than that I'm hoping to goodness it won't come back again. Probably wishful thinking!

Hope all goes well at your scan @Lisalou88 🤞🏼

I had a scan at 7 weeks due to cramping and a bleed but they put it down to when my period should be due (dates didn’t add up) and now bricking it before my 12 week scan in 3 weeks.

@flowersaremyfave isn’t constant eating to prevent nausea/vomiting just lovely?!

Had a scan today. Dated me at 6+5 which makes sense and all looks good!

Great news on all the positive scans ladies. @nuggles I'm 9+3 today with the dreaded/exciting 12 week scan on 22nd March.

Usually the eating constantly sorts the nausea but the past 2 days I think it's made it worse.

@nuggles it sure is 🙄 thankfully though the nausea hasn't hit me yet ( I think gods giving me a break because he knows I'll never cope with that +5 kids 😬🙈) ...I still wake up every morning wondering if it's hit!

@GinMama1 brilliant news! ❤️

Had my booking in appointment with the GP today (am in Ireland, system is slightly different) she was so lovely and squealed and gave me a hug.
I told her I've been feeling horrendous and she told me that's a really good sign.
Had bloods ran for iron levels, chicken pox (😐??), liver function, kidneys etc.
(Will have the full bloods done at first hospital apt).
Picked my hospital and consultant and she sent the referral letter today so I await a scan date.
She signed me off for a minimum of 2 weeks for the nausea/ chrons flare. Feel a little bad re work but I also know I'd be as useful as a chocolate teapot in there right now..

She also bet me 2 quid that I'm having a girl.

Hope everyone's feeling a little better today x

Brilliant @HarryPottersSecretSister my official booking in appointment is on Thursday but I've already seen a midwife just to tell them I'm pregnant and had my letter from the hospital with my scan date (19th March) was surprised to get it so fast. I had my bloods taken last Monday but they came back inconclusive so I've got to go back tomorrow to have them done again 😩 I hate needs! Plus having my flu jab done tomorrow too...double whammy! I'll treat myself to a cake on the way home to cheer myself up 😁

@HarryPottersSecretSister I love that your Irish, I'm marrying into an Irish family and love the Irish accent and way of life!! I have yet to be convinced to move over there though!!

I have my first midwife appointment on Friday, the main thing I'm looking forward to is that I can have an extra 2 hours in bed as my apt is 9am. The tiredness is killing me and I have gone from eating everything in sight to feeling sick and getting full really quickly, is it normal to have such change in symptoms?

@sal1987 I get a similar thing. Really hungry then really full. And lots of nausea. DH says I was the same last time!

Went for my private scan last night and it’s not good news, no heartbeat could be found and baby measured at 6 weeks 😢
It’s going to be a tough time, We are devastated. I wish all you ladies a healthy pregnancy, thank you for the support .
Not giving up hope of our dream x

So sorry to hear that @Foreverhope 😢