Should you expect your in laws to help with buying baby stuff?

[Peonyblush1]

Hi all, I’m 31 weeks today and still have a lot of the big stuff to buy for baby we’re kind of waiting for the baby shower to see what other friends and family will be getting us.

My mum and I have done most of shopping we’ve bought all the clothes and small bits and she’s buying my pushchair which is Expensive!

My in-laws have just bought two blankets and a few slogan vests.
I still have the cot, bouncer, car seat base etc to buy ..
We can afford these of course but I feel like they’re not bothering at all, it’s their first grandchild and they have a lot of money (but they’re tight) lol.

I just don’t think it’s fair that my mum is buying one of the most expensive items and they’re not bothering at all or asking us if we need anything :/
I always mention to my MIL that I still need to buy this and that but she still doesn’t seem to ask or anything ..

I don’t know if I’m expecting too much but I just thought they’d be more helpful because they always help other family members and strangers but not their own children .. bizarre?

Neither set of GPs bought anything, except a few sleepsuits when DS came a bit early and we needed some smaller ones whilst still in hospital. I didn’t have a baby shower either. How things have changed in the last 10 years.

Is this a joke?
Please tell me it is.

Well I do know I will get some gifts I’ve been told by some of my aunts not to buy certain things because they had already bought it etc etc
And yes it’s memories why is that 🤢 ?

@eggybread what makes you think this is a joke ? LOL

Damn some of you people on here are just so rude and bizarre!😂

I just can’t imagine anyone in real life being so grabby
“Expecting” family members to buy stuff for a baby seems absolutely mental to me! My parents offered to help with our first baby’s pram but I never would have expected them to fork out, or asked them to!
This whole thread just reeks of a spoiled child stomping their feet because they didn’t get enough presents from Santa

At my cousins baby shower she was gifted a baby bath tub, a bouncer lots of bottles, clothes and many other things ..
So let’s say I already have all of those things and I was gifted the same things at the baby shower because I know my friends and family would I would too for them at their shower

Doesn’t it make more sense to buy some bits after Incase they buy it for me I don’t understand how this is grabby at all ! It’s actually common sense LOL

JESUS CHRIST ! 😫

If you weren't such a cheeky pain the in ass you'd have probably found you had some friends close enough to throw you a baby shower so you didn't have to throw your own. I've literally never been to one thrown/hosted by the mum to be!

Is this a joke??

‘Making menories’ Is cheesy and tacky.

So is organising your own baby shower tonsee what gifts you’ll get.

I suspect that being a mum is going to be really tough for you OP.

Good for all you people that didn’t accept anything from your parents GOOD for you 👏🏻 I am fully thankful for everything my mum has got me and the interest she’s shown in my pregnancy! What would I do without my mama

If you are given anything, it is a gift. GIFT. You don’t ask for it, you don’t expect it, you certainly don’t throw a party to get it. If you already have one you say thanks and then dispose of a duplicate later.

Seriously! I have no words for such an entitled attitude.

Making memories of your child’s baby shower is tacky .. wow 😂 that’s a bit harsh.

“What would I do without my mama”

Pay your own way like normal adults.

“Making memories of your child’s baby shower is tacky .. wow 😂 that’s a bit harsh.”

No, not harsh. It’s tacky and grabby. It really is.

People attending a baby shower will normally only really buy a 'small' gift. Ones I've been to, most people spend maybe £20 and get a couple of outfits, blankets, soft toys or a keepsake style gift. That would certainly by my budget. If you think people will buy you stuff like a bouncer, cot, or any of the 'big bits' your way off the mark. Relatives maybe, a friend from work.... I doubt it.

Your PIL are under no obligation to buy you anything. FWIW my mum bought a travel system (she wanted to) whilst my MIL bought ds a few outfits and a cuddly bear. My SIL bought loaaaaaaaaads of outfits and other bits and bobs but I would never have expected anything. If they ask if you need anything this is when you politily give them a few suggestions. As another poster mentioned, they may wait until the baby is here and safe and then gift you something. It may be a pack of 5 sleepsuits, but that is entirely their choice.

The while’making memories’ notion is SM bullshit. Memories are made, not forced through the throwing of expensive parties when you should focus on providing for your baby.

I would not expect my parents, or the parents of my partner, to buy expensive items because I chose to have unprotected sex. I didn’t even expect them to when we deliberately went through months of gruelling fertility treatment.

It’s nice if they want to buy a gift. It’s also totally fine if they choose not to. Your baby, your responsibility. It doesn’t have to be expensive: we bought a new car seat and cot, everything else was second hand.

IHateTrains spot on.
Every baby shower I’ve ever been too, I’ve bought a small gift for the mum which I thought would be helpful in the postnatal period...not a sodding mothercare furniture set

I guess families work in different ways though (maybe these particular in-laws are minted?) I’d probably have to be wrapping my babies butts in newspaper for my in-laws to buy us even a pack of nappies

Yes of course it’s entirely their choice like I’ve said 100 times it’s not just the fact they haven’t offered to buy anything it’s the fact they haven’t mentioned anything or shown much interest, sometimes I feel like they forget I’m even pregnant!
I’m with them quite often we’re close they’re as close as my own parents so I just found it a bit cold but then again they might just be waiting for baby to born.

For example one of my aunties has already told us not buy a baby monitor because she’s already got us one.
I never asked or expected it from her but I’m very thankful and I think it’s so kind of her.

OP you seem to be changing your story and that is probably annoying people even more and makes you seem even worse. Your initial post was v focussed on things and what would be bought for you and now you are changing it to their lack of interest or seeming to have forgotten you are pregnant. You know they haven’t forgotten as they have bought you vest and blankets.

Maybe just accept people don’t agree with your attitude.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy OP

Yabu- however, I'm African and in our culture grandparents are expected to help out with cold hard cash. Just as when family members need help we dig into our pockets. Perhaps op is from a similar culture and therefore it does seem weird to her that her pils are being seemingly stingy