Pregnancy after m/c (part 7), true hand-holding and support along the road...

[Uki]

Thought I'd start this in honour of Purple's effort so far, hope you don't mind Purple I liked this title best.

Welcome to our shiny new thread

Oooh, and I meant to say also that I picked up a Maternity Guide from work last night and in the useful contact section, Mumsnet is the second contact they list after their own website!

just popping to see if there's any news from lissie, but not since sunday i see...I hope she's OK!

Hi Mumpbump. You have a lot on your plate right now and I am sorry to hear that your mother is difficult right now. Come here and rant as much as you'd like. It's difficult to get the right balance between getting rest and keeping a normal life going.... And things like moving or illness of a close relative are very stressful, although we (here I mean I) often fully acknowledge it.

Uki and Mumpbump -- you might get all bruised up right now but deep down I know you cherish it :-). Am jaleous, since I don't feel LO much at all any more. However on the scan it was visible that my placenta is all around LO (I asked if it is anterior and posterior and the consultant said, 'yes, that's a way of putting it', although the official term is 'centered'), so that might be why.

Uki, I am German, lived (and picked up DH) in the US for many years and live at the moment in the UK. I have a dear friend in Sydney and
always wanted to visit, I haven't made it to Australia yet, but liveds for 4.5 months in NZ (many years ago). I had a nice sample of health care systems. In my opinion the winner is by far Germany, followed by the US (there healthcare varies widely, but I was lucky to have a very good and incredibly cheap provider). Ethically I am for public healthcare but have certainly come to see the downside of it here in the UK. But sometimes it's more a questions on how to play the system that the system itself and I was not very good at that IYKWIM.

Hi Daisy and Firststar and Beckle and to everybody else.

Good point about
not referring to Lissie in third person, but it is because we really care, Lissie!!! And although nobody of us can start to imagine how you must feel right now, Lissie, there are probably not many that can understand better than we do. We think of you.

Message withdrawn

Lissie...I missed your post yesterday morning...I am so so sorry sweetheart . Life just seems so unfair and you have already gone through so much. Take care, be kind to yourself and we will see you around the boards soon I hope.

Thinking of you....

Daisy xxxx

Hey Daisy, yes awful news about Lissie

How's the lo? Amd is your scar healiing okay now?

Hey everyone, hope we are all okay. Drove through the most horrendous rain this evening to get home, like going through a giant car wash only wetter!!!!

Hi BT......LO doing really well...although I wish she would settle at night a bit better. DH has gone back to work and the morning routine/school run is entertaining.....I actually managed to have a shower and get DS ready and feed the LO this morning....maybe tomorrow DD will get out of her pyjamas, LOL. Scar has finally healed...now to start the exercises to rid myself of the excess flab....dropped 18lbs really quickly, but the last 10lbs to get to pre pg weight just won't go! I've got a wedding on Saturday as well, and nothing to wear.....aaargh

Hope everyone else is well ....I'll try to catch up later, but the thread moves so quickly!

Morning all!

Just a quick post from me, but will be back later this afternoon. We almost got flooded last night - the "soak-away" in front of the front door is blocked due to all the building work and the water started coming in. Ds was watching it going "uh oh!" again and again. Dh got a broom and started sweeping it away down the path and I got the dustpan which ds then grabbed off me to help his dada! SO cute and I'm so proud of my helpful little boy!!

Just had to share that with you all. The upside of parenting, hey? Back in a bit!

morning all

Mump- I bought a new non-underwire too, and it hasn't helped. Your ds sounds gorgeous, mine is really into helping too, yesterday he picked out my clothes to wear and went around the supermarket getting all the food, bread, yogurt (with nemos on it) I ended up buying stuff just because he got it. Tonight he helped cook dinner, got the brocolli out and put it in a bowl. They are such little angels sometimes. He's only just 2 so I hope it continues. I'm a proud mummy too, can you tell

Glimmer- you are a well travelled lady, NZ is beautiful isn't it? I have to agree (apologies ladies) the UK health system, does not sound too hot, I can't imagine sharing a post natal room with 9 ladies and sharing one toilet, that would not be fun. We are always complaining about our public health system here but it is actually quite good, most maternity wards are brand new and I found my care as good as my SIL's who went private. I'm even in better care now since i moved to the country, we would just have to be airlifted out if anything major happened. I love how Germany is so environmental now, i wish we would be like that, our PM doesn't care though.

Firstar- has ML started yet? I hope you have internet at home?

Rain: I can still relate, i am getting a skylight put in the babies room and it was called off for the third time today, arggggg

basil - is scan today? GOOD LUCK

Uki - your post has put a big soppy grin on my face. Toddler years may be challenging, but they are so lovely in some ways... Your ds sounds equally gorgeous...

Basil - good luck and hope it all goes well!

Daisy - pleased to hear that you're on the mend. Perhaps you need to purchase a new dress for the wedding? Any excuse, hey??

Bouncingturtle - I left work yesterday, got about half-way to the station and the heavens opened. Absolutely soaked. Poor dh turned up on the train, having refused the offer of an umbrella, absolutely kicking himself!!

Feeling much better today, pleased to report! I think it's these hormones as much as anything... I seem to have days when everything gets to me and then days where I'm floating on cloud 9. Someone said you get more hormone surges with a girl, so who knows??

Ladies I?m back from holiday and wondering how I will ever catch up with you all. Is everyone ok? I see something has happened to Lissie I shall try and read back a few days. Anyone able to summarise the last 2 ½ weeks for me?! I am doing well I think our holiday was lovely and relaxing and apart from a set back at the beginning when I caught a horrible bug and lost ½ stone in 3 days (would normally be delighted but not the best when you are pg!) I think I am fine. Have a little bump now and hit the 12 week mark yesterday. I have an Obstetric appointment tomorrow so I hope she?ll get the Doppler out and be able to give me some reassurance that beanie is doing well

WELCOME BACK Mrs Mc, and CONGRAT's on the 12 week yay mark

I wouldn't know where to start with the catching up, We have hard some scares and some of us are complaining about our late aches and pains.
I'm sure you'll catch up with it all. We are all sad about Lissie- still thinking of you, if you are around lis.

Sorry about the mammoth post ? just caught up from Fri onwards:

Hi Uki ? how are you? Xavier is our first choice boy?s name by the way Have you tried DH on the Spanish spelling Javier? Javi (pronounced Havi) for short, is nice too I think! I know a Levi, he?s Dutch My surname has three syllables. Thanks for missing me we had such a lovely, relaxing time in the Sun ? sigh! Back to reality, thank God for MN! All sounding good about your baby! Like the mantra I will use that! Sorry to hear about your pain.

Hello Ejt PMSL at the ET initials, I guess we have to think about these things Pretty name you have in mind lovely news that you are having a Pink one! Hope the heartburn?s better. I had a bit last week too

Hey Mumpbump have to say my tummy looks much better bronzed! It was beginning to look like a map of the world with my injection bruises! I was really self conscious the first day on the beach ? especially when DH said loudly to his friend ?and they told me she wouldn?t bruise if I punched her in the stomach!? made the starers look away though! I?ll check out your dress later, I need one for a wedding in 3 weeks Hope today is better than yesterday was!

Hi Firsty and how are you doing?! Sorry to hear you are feeling swollen! Not long now thanks for keeping the gang updated on my whereabouts

Hello Glimmer ? great to hear you sounding so positive! like your names Hope your cold is getting better.

Hey Beckle great news about the HB and getting past the ?danger point? we all know exactly what you mean . Hope the itching has gone away. Sorry about the mess up over your tests ? annoying!

Lovely to see you Daisy Hope all is ok now DH is back at work. Love the term ?babymooning?

Hello Bluebell

Hello Bouncingturtle so glad to hear that something has been done to relieve you of some of that stress; I?ve always been worried about you. I hope it is helping Lovely to have heard the HB

Hey Fettle ? I?ll be over to the Graduate thread after this! scary about that spotting hon, I hope all is fine now. Take great care of yourself

Lissie hon, what can I say? sending you huge hugs. I am so sad It is so unfair ? praying for a miracle for you xx

Hello Chocolatepeanut welcome! I think we have met before somewhere. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Wishing you all the luck in the world ? keep talking!

Hello VictorVictoria I hope you are doing ok ? just one step at a time hon! so sorry about your scare, it must have been awful great that the scan was good though!

Hey Basil all sounding good with you! Hang in there! PMSL at the knickers watching antics ? we are all the same! imagine my horror on holiday when I saw a thin bright red line then my embarrassment when I realised it was a thread from my bikini Hope today goes/has gone very well!

Just adding myself back in:

Firststar 26 July (36+1 )
Uki -15th August(32+2)
PurpleLostPrincess - 22nd September (27wks)
Rubles - 28th September 26+1
Fettle - 29th September (26 wk)
Mumpbump - 1st October (26 today!)
ejt1764 - 2nd October (25+4) - wriggling little girl
ejb1976 23
Glimmer - Nov 13 (Boy)
mad4girls 4th December 16+4
Bouncingturtle - 23rd December 13+6
MrsMcJnr ? 15 Jan (12+1)
becklespeckle ? 27 Dec 13+1
Bluebell- 10+0
VictorVictoria 8+0
BellaBear - 6th February (7+5)

Mrs mc- Your mammoth post has made me
You are definately back now and right in the thick of it.

What did you buy/ do in Spain besides getting tanned?

Message withdrawn

Dear Ladies -

Have just come back from a second early scan (my last pg ended in m/c at 6 weeks) and I am totally confused and worried. Sorry if the follwing is a bit complicated and rambling...

The good news is that the bean has grown from 3mm to 11mm and a heart beat was seen. But they dated it at 7+1. Based on LMP, I am 8+6, however I expected it to be a few days less as I knew I ovulated later than DC14 but 12 days less is totally confusing.

I had started temping for the first time and according to Fertility Friend, I ovulated CD21. Then when I got my bfp at a seeming 6DPO, I decided the software must have been wrong as no-one gets a bfp at 6DPO, right??! And the really crazy bit is the scan date is saying I conceived on CD26 which is...the day I got my bfp so UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE!!! In fact, I did two tests that day, one First Reponse and one Clear Blue several hours later. Both lines were faint but definitely there.

I am so confused. I tried explaining to the midwife but she said to ignore these test results and that scans are super accurate.

My questions are:

1. Are they really so accurate? Is it unheard of to be 6 days out at this stage?
2. Is it possible that I really did get a bfp at 6DPO. I've heard of ladies getting one at 7DPO but never 6
3. If this is the case, this means my hcg levels must have been super high?? Does this mean my baby has an increased risk of Downs Syndrome or other problems??

Thanks for reading. I am so worried, even more stressed now than before. DH says the important thing is we saw heart and bean is growing at normal rate. But that SUPER early bfp is stressing me out - what does it mean?

PS YAY, welcome back MrsMc

Hi Basil,
I am so sorry to hear about your worries. Yes, the dates from you and scans are very confusing. Now, the good thing as your DH sais is that there was normal growth rate and a HB.
Try to hold on to that until things get clearer.

To your questions:

1. 6 days out is entirely possible. I was at 8 weeks 6 days out (they dated bean a week older than it possibly could have been).

2. Nothing is impossible. I beleive that total numbers of HCG vary quite a bit (and I mean orders of magnitude) but the doubling rate is important.

3. I never, ever heard of HCG levels to be indicative of any problems. Now, slow or fast growth rates can be an indicator of soemthing wrong, but as I said in 2. HGL levels vary very much.

The consultant I saw, who I have a very high opinion of and whi is very experienced, sais that he has seen things that fit in no textbook and everything was fine. I would trust your dates (including the uncertainty that you might have ovulated late) and take the scans with a grain of salt. How easy must it be to be 0.5mm offm which might be 6 days difference.

Try to stay positive. Most likely this is just a big big scare....

Basil -- do twins run in your family?
Could you have had two fertilized eggs, one which produced the BFP (and didn't implant after all) and the other one that needed a few more days before implantation and is a little embryo now? I beleive that's possible. I know of somebody who had twin embryos, of whom one was 7 days 'older' than the other one.

Uki ? we pretty much did NOTHING lounged about and read books mostly! I went Mat clothes shopping with my Mum on Sat though and came home with 3 shirts and 4 pairs of trousers ? was really pleased with my wares! They were so much cheaper than in the UK. Even though it?s exciting growing it is also depressing when everything it is tight so it was lovely to try on clothes in my usual sizes that fitted and felt nice! Hoping to make it a few more weeks in my work clothes before giving in as I want to get past the dating scan on 20/7 before I flaunt my bump! I?m only 12 weeks so I am a bit but it?s my bust and waist that are the biggest issue in my normal clothes.

Firsty ? totally agree about having a bit of colour, inside I am brown and blonde not this blue skinned brunette that I often see in the mirror! I can see I look a lot better (my mother didn?t put it very nicely when she said that the weight I lost came from my face thank god which had been big and white with lots of chins ) some days are better than others with the shots, sometimes they make no mess at all and others I make a huge mess and the site aches all day ? hey ho! Weather quite nice here, sat in the park at lunchtime

Hello Basil sorry that you are feeling confused and worried after your scan we?ll do what we can to help but you MUST try not to worry, it is not good for either of you and at the end of the day, as we know from temping, none of this baby business is an exact science! I don?t want to belittle your fear but please try not to worry at this stage about dates v measurements. When I had my 8 week scan, I freaked because she put me at 7 weeks instead of 8 and then she re-measured at my insistence (with an empty bladder) and it was just one ay out. Apparently at this stage, the measurements can be a week or so out. The important thing is the growth and the fact that you saw the HB they don?t seem to pay the slightest bit of attention to when you OVd (in fact whenever I mention that I OV late they look at me like I am insane!) I think we have to accept that these little people can grow at different rates (as they will at all stages of life!) In answer to your questions, in my view:

1. no, they are not that accurate and it is perfectly possible for the measurements to be a week out.
2. Maybe 6 is a little on the early side but hey these tests are good and can measure tiny amounts of HCG - try not to think back on that now ? onwards!
3. no, I don?t think there is a correlation. High hcg levels can mean multiples but you?d know by now.

Are you going back? What do you think would help to re-assure you? Try to stay calm and talk to us all you like

Hi MrsMcJnr and welcome back from your holiday! Can't believe you're at 12 weeks already - that's fab! Not long until your dating scan, hey?

Basil - posted on your other thread!

Hey MrsMc! Welcome back from your hols! 12 weeks already, the last few weeks really seem to have flown by! Glad you had a good time and that all is going well. I too will be on the hunt for maternity stuff v v soon. I don't own a pair of trousers that will do up, am currently wearing long and baggy tops which hide the fact my zips are undone and there is a hairband holding my trousers up!
Basil, try not to worry hun, I'm sure babies all grow at different rates, otherwise how would some people have one weighing 6 lb and another have one weighing 9 lb??? Some HPTs are more sensitive than others (even if they are the same make), implantation may have been a couple of days later than you thought and the sonographer could have just got the measurements a little bit wrong, there's not much in it at this stage! At my second scan I was put backwards a day from my first one - the nurse I spoke to said they don't count the dates they get from early scans as they are just to check for viability (so perhaps they don't check the measurements as carefully?). The important thing is that bubs has grown and there is a good strong heartbeat!

Beckle - great name change! What inspired it?

Thanks Mumpbump!

Inspired by new Harry Potter book out in just over 2 weeks! Wanted a wizardy/pottery name and love Fawkes the Phoenix in the books!

(Although perhaps I should say that coming through m/c and being pg again feels like I have been reborn...which I guess is true, I am a different person to the one I was 6 months ago)

Thought of the second reason, but didn't connect it with HP despite the film being all over the papers at the moment. Can't wait for the final book to be published and am just hoping I can avoid finding out the ending before I manage to get my paws on a copy...