Pregnancy after m/c (part 7), true hand-holding and support along the road...

[Uki]

Thought I'd start this in honour of Purple's effort so far, hope you don't mind Purple I liked this title best.

Welcome to our shiny new thread

Yes it is up and down. Only way I found to cope is to have milestones. Now my milestone is to get another bfp, then it starts over again. Ho hum.

Fantastic news Jules! Feedmenow, yes I am normally BeckleSpeckle but changed name in honour of new Harry Potter book out v v soon (very excited!), hehe!
Medics really make me mad you know, most of them are very unsympathetic and some of them are even rude. I think that some of them forget we are people and not just numbers.

Ah, overdid it on the *s a bit, sorry guys!

hi feedmenow - the epau's policy depends very much upon the area - but ime, if you contact them directly, and beg and plead (crying often works wonders too!), you can often circumvent the referral system.

Many epau's take referrals from the midwife rather than the GP - and you do not to be referred to the midwife by your gp ... you can self-refer - it says so in the NICE guidelines!

So, phase 1 of attack: phone epau direct and plead desparation.

if that fails ...

phase 2: self-refer to mw (ring up you local community midwives and ask to be put on the list of a midwife - if they tell you you have to be referred by a gp, you can say, 'erm, no I don't)

It sucks that you have to be somewhat bolshy to get the treatment you're entitled to, but if it helps ...

have been to yoga tonight, and am now seriously blissed out ... ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ... off to bed now!

Message withdrawn

just popping in to say hello to everyone, been camping up north, must be mad. great news mrsmcjnr, i'm so happpy for you. cannot keep up with this vibrant thread, so much happens in 3 days!

feeling much better about my 1/23 downs results, i do keep hoping for the best and looking forward to the next scan. i keep considering the amnio but something keeps stopping me. i do have the odd wobbly moment about it all but hey, that's pregnancy. 19 weeks now, lots of movement, seems forever til december!!

hope you are all good and thanks for keeping me going.

hotchocx

Thats brilliant jules, congrats on the fat bean
Feedmenow - i feel the same as you, in the space of about 2 days i ve gone from being exstatic to worried as hell. Last night was the worse, was feeling crampy (which for me is noormal when pg) and convinced myself it was all over, woke up this morning and feel a bit rough so Im sure its just my parinoia
I had a mmc as well at 6.5 weeks but I just knew something wansnt right and demanded a scan just before 7 weeks. Id been all shivery and felt very strange. And unfortunatly i was right

I thought the stats for mc were 1 in 7 in confirmed pg and 1 in 4 overall as lots more pg are lost before your even due af? I like those stats better

Its nice to see that some ppl are as early on as me, i thought when i came on this tread that most ppl would be near then end! I am nauseous which at the moment i am LOVING. I had no symptoms whatsoever last time. Can't go to Dr yet as don't want to take the boys but when i do i will be asking for an 8 week scan. I had a missed m/c, i had got to 10 weeks but the baby had only got to 6 so an 8 weeks scan would be great for me! I am not really sure how far along i am, i am about 4.5 weeks ish.

Thank you all so much for the reassurance. But now I have a NEW worry . Past few days I have been getting diarreah (sp?. Having looked it up online with regard to early pg the only thing I have seen is ectopic. As I mentioned before, for some months before my bfp I had been having lots of abdominal pain, which is continuing now. My initial feelings are that the pains (whatever they are) are just continuing and it is a coincidence that I now have a funny tummy. I am only 4+5 (I think) so is it really at all likely that an ectopic would give me symptoms already? Would I just be being REALLY paranoid to seek advice about this, or should I speak to someone anyway just for reassurance?

Feedmeknow

I have had a dodgy tummy on and off with this pregnancy (11+5 but good scan at 9+3). Happened in my last (successful pregnancy too). Not well documented in pregnancy books but can be a side effect of the hormones - talsk about it in "What to Expect when you are Expecting"

Morning ladies anyone else being a grumpy git? Especially when hungry I have been so short tempered with DH in the evening ? mostly because I just cannot wait for my dinner but I feel so mean!

Sorry Ejt ? crossed with you yesterday. Sorry that your past experiences have been so traumatic hon no wonder you are frightened. I have a friend who had an awful first birth, truly awful and she cried about it when re-telling it for years. When she got pg again, she was terrified. She had counselling and it did help. Her second birth was an entirely different experience, just about everything went well hope it?s the same for you. PPH? It?s kind of annoying when you don?t see the person you thought you would isn?t it? That happened at my 1st haematology appointment ? it?s like buying a ticket to see someone in concert and then only the support band turning up! Great that you felt you got somewhere glad the yoga helped you de-stress

Hey Firsty ? the collage sounds fun! how is the scrap book coming along? I have now ordered a baby book and am looking forward to filling it in

Feedmenow ? sorry to hear that you got scared I am sure you have been more thorough than me but I never read anything that said if you have MC once you are at any higher chance of it happening again than anyone who hasn?t. I guess stats wise, it makes sense that those who have had a MC may have another as sadly there are those who do have recurrent ones and that would distort the figures . I bought and read this book from cover to cover and it still makes me feel so much better, the information for when you are pg again is invaluable. I?d highly recommend it www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/203-4911901-8809519. One thing that also helped me was to realise that every person on the street is a pregnancy that went well, there are so many people, and it all goes well a hell of a lot of the time! Also, I had a TOP 10 years ago, when I lost my precious baby in March, I couldn?t help but feel it was divine retribution ? several Mumsnetters had very strong words with me and I realised that things just don?t work that way

Beckle you are right ? most of the medical evidence on the internet is uncorroborated by peers ? my consultant pointed that out ? good point I think! Think I should make it my mission to visit Orkney before we leave the country

Glimmer mad scientist (bouncing on a birth ball no doubt!!) My diary says you have 8 more sleeps until ?B? day ? afternoon naps don?t count

Milf ? sorry you are struggling hon I really hope all is fine with you. Can?t say I felt particularly pregnant until my MS kicked in at 9 weeks!! After that I realised how lucky I had been to not feel worse earlier but hindsight is a wonderful thing isn?t it. Hope you are successful in getting an early scan tomorrow if not, can you consider a private one?

Hey Jules ? great news! so pleased for you!!! Great that you get another look next week after my scan last week, I can?t wait to see how much beanie has grown when I have my dating scan on Friday

Hey Hotchoc hope you had fun. Isn?t it lovely that you, me and Jules from that Limbo thread are all here together now? ? if only someone had a crystal ball when we were all in such a sorry state in Feb and March!! It must be difficult having to consider an amnio hon, too late now though isn?t it? I wouldn?t have had one either: 4 reasons: 1) couldn?t take chance of losing the baby through the procedure 2) even if it came back positive it would make no difference to my decision to continue so why put myself/baby through that 3) even if it came back positive there is no way of knowing how severe it would be and 4) later scans will tell you if the baby has organ problems that might need assistance at birth ? an amnio wouldn?t assist there. Always listen to your gut feelings lovely to be feeling all that movement ? I can?t wait!

Hey Spugs the cramps could be ligaments stretching

Mumosm ? hello!

Feedmenow - like VV that has been how it has been with me, none of the constipation I was expecting but plenty of the other - guess it just proves that we are all different. Take care x

OOO do you know how nice it is to hear that two others on this thread have been similarly afflicted?

God this is all enough to send you round the twist isn't it.

Morning all! Feeling much better today, but still not 100%! Can't believe how busy this thread has been this week!!!

Congratulations on the good scan result, Jules! Very pleased for you!

Feedmenow - I agree with what firststar says about stats. They don't really mean much to any one individual and can't be used to predict the success or not of any pg. They can only be used to draw comfort from, ime. I think a runny tummy can be caused by pg hormones, but if it persists, I'd get it checked out. Peace of mind is priceless...

Firststar - what are you still doing here, hey? Less than 10 days until the due date!!! I bet you're pleased that it hasn't been too hot recently...

Daisy - hello there!!! Are you fully recovered from the C-section now?

MrsMcJnr - pleased to hear your good news. It all sounds really positive for you!

Glimmer - have you moved into your new nest? Is dh still over here - can't remember whether it was THE move or just a long trip. Is he still in love with the bump? Apparently, my sister's fiance is kissing her non-existent bump goodnight already and she's only 5/6 weeks!

EJT - yoga sounds like a great idea for relaxation. I'm dead jealous of you!

Hotchoc - haven't got up to speed with everything that has happened over the last week, but just wondering if you will ask them to look for soft markers for Downs at the next scan?

Ladylush - I love your new name! I am assuming it is because you are a luscious lady rather than because you are a lush! Glad you're sticking with us - I am sure we will all be waiting for that bfp with you!

Milf - can't you just tell your doctor that you're not sure about dates and get an early dating scan again?

Beckle - I am trying to imagine what your work maternity trousers look like and am curious now. What do you do/where do you work?

Still very excited about my sister's pg. Also got news that my Mum's cancer has responded very well to the chemo so that is good!! Only downside this week is that dh's ex has been diagnosed with lupus and might be unable to work any more. I feel so sorry for her - she was diagnosed with lymphoma almost 3 years ago and has been having treatment for that, just starting to get over it and then this... It makes you appreciate your health SO much - and of course the health of all those LO's that we have/are growing!!

Morning

Yes this thread is really growing, I tried to find the TTC after m/c thread the other day and
can't really find one like it was in my old days, which is a good thing.

Mump -great news about sis and your mum's chemo. I had 2 aunts and friend with cancer recently and they are all in serious remission, which is so positive. they are all fighters though so i think that's the most important part being positive.

I'm a bit too tired to catch up with all but i'll try

feedme- i wouldn't worry too much about diarerra, I also get that in early pg and also in late pg, like now. never heard of it in relation to eptopic. I think it explains some tiredness though.

spungs - hang in there, we understand though, it does get easier.

I've got my rib/back pain back right now. I think it is baby again trying to break open my rib cage. i have a scan tomorrow so i'm gonna try and find out where baby and it's legs are.

Hi Firsty, glimmer, mrs Mc and a Etj and etb iI haven't said much to you all lately

HI all, am struggling to keep up with everybody! Had my booking in appointment with mw yesterday. I checked in on the computer screen and waited for 15 mins before mw came out complaining cos I wasn't there yet- stupid computer hadn't registered my arrival. She was a bit stroppy (but Ok really!)and insisted on cutting the appointment short, giving me all the forms to fill in myself and booking another appt to go throught the rest of it. Was not impressed as it wasn't my fault and they keep me waiting often enough! Scan booked for 6th August - unsure how I feel about it as still not convinced I'll make it that far. I also found out that I won't be 'allowed' to deliver on the mw-led birth unit because I tested positive for Group B strep with dd and will have to be on the delivery suite with constant IV access for antibiotics . Bit gutted about that as spent all of labour with dd in birth unit and it was fantastic.

DH is away until Friday so I'm going to lounge about and eat rubbish. He used a hire car from work and took dd's car seat in it so I'm not impressed- phoned to have a rant but he wouldn't (couldn't?) say much! I stuck her in the old one that she's grown out of and went and bought another one, I can give it to my mum as her's is a bit outdated anyway (plus gave me strange sense of satisfaction having to spend all that money and blame it on dh lol)
Am glad everybody else is OK, can't believe I'm 8+3 already! Am still crossing everything that it goes Ok and can't let myself get too optimistic.

I know VV

Mumpbump ? hello! Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better My DH talks to the Beanie bump every night thought it would be too artifical to start later on so we started that from BFP! It?s so funny what he says! It is really exciting to have your sister going through it all too and that?s fab about your Mum Awful about DH?s ex ? lupus is meant to be horrible.

Hey Uki the TTC after MC thread is still going strong, it?s here www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1366&threadid=346289&stamp=070718130625 Good to hear about the cancer fighters long may that last! Hope you have a good scan.

Haylstones ? hello. Annoying that the appointment got cut short but you are not alone in having to do bits yourself and to go back for the rest, it is so long that I think they have to do it that way. Sorry about the Strep B, I?ve been hearing about a few ladies with that. Keep PMA hon!

Hi everybody!
Oh, it's nice to have so many new people joining. Yes, and we have a reunion of all the people who are on the limbo thread!!! Taichimum -- are you out there? How are you doing?

MrsMcJ -- what's B day? Is is the day that the little one has a chance of surviving outside? It is secretly my next milestone :-) It is also my birthday, but you can know that!!!!! :-)

Mumbump -- Glad you are feeling better! Yes, DH has moved here for a year and we are in the new (rented) house. Still not properly decorated but fully fucntional. The plan is to move back to the US a year from now, unless jobwise things change... DH is still talking to Bump and encouraging LO to kick me, because he has noticed that I get less paranoid if I had a kick that day... We give LO another name each day, today it's Lee, yesterday was Tian. So far none has stuck. I am happy about the good news about your sis and mum!

to everybody else.

People who were, emphasis WERE on the limbo thread. No more limbo, only positive outcome from now on!!!!

Good news re dh, Glimmer. I remember being pg with dd and I used to come home from work every day and lie down until I'd felt her kick so I could relax for a few hours.
I know you're right MrsMcJnr, I'm just remembering when I had dd at a different GP surgery and lovely mw came to my house and did everything in one visit...sigh. Things have changed so much since I was pg with dd 4 years ago- I didn't even get a 12 week scan then so I suppose not all changes have been bad!
I've been wondering about the screening for Downs Syndrome and haven't decided what to do. I wouldn't have an amniocentesis so I'm not sure it would be of any use; Dh says there's no point having it but I think if I am aware of the level of risk it's knowledge and knowledge is power I guess cans can always give more information, albeit no definite diagnosis. have a few weeks to decide though so best get me thinking cap on!

someone tell me AF like cramps are normal
I know i had them with DS1 but i would have thought my uterus had been stretched beyond repair after 2 children?

Im having them, hey seem to come and go a bit but can be fairly niggly at times. I ve had them with my previous 3 prenancies and 2 of those were fine. Its normal apparently baby is burrowing into your womb lining
Personally I tink its one of those things that get worse the more pregnancies you have like braxton hicks.
Oh and by the way im 4 + 5 if that helps at all [grin

it does help spug because i am about that myself! ty...just one off the list of things i am ALREADY worried about b/c of previous m/c!

Oh Yes Glimmer ? you are right, nearly all here! B?day was me getting you confused with Firsty (ah pg brain has begun!) ? she has 8 days to go until her due date! Happy birthday for that date though!

Haylstones ? yes the screening dilemma, DH and I thought long and hard about it, argued with GP, MW and several doctors about it and got thoroughly fed up. It?s not easy to decide whether to get on the testing merry go round is it? especially if you know already where you would want to get off.

MrsMcJ -- how nice to be confused with Firsty! I wish I'd be almost there....
Firsty -- how are you? Still eager for LO to be born? Oh, oh, oh the second graduate since I joined this thread - it can really happen!