Pregnancy after m/c (part 7), true hand-holding and support along the road...

[Uki]

Thought I'd start this in honour of Purple's effort so far, hope you don't mind Purple I liked this title best.

Welcome to our shiny new thread

Message withdrawn

Good afternoon to all. After being on here yesterday I went on to do a bit of reasearch on pg after miscarriage to try and reassure myself, only to manage exactly the opposite! I was hoping to find some stats that basically said having 1 mc makes you no more likely to have another than a lady who has had no miscarriages. Instead I found some percentages that i really didn't like the look of.
To be honest I feel rather dead/numb inside. I desperately want mine to be one of the ones that ends with a happy result, but I also don't want to be too optimistic incase it goes wrong, cos then I'll be even more disappointed. So I suppose that feeling as little as possible is the best answer.
And I think all this is made even worse by the fact that I now know about missed mc (something I'd never even heard of before MN!). I always used to think that if you were going to mc then it would just happen. But now I know that the baby can die and it can be weeks before you find out. Oh, woe is me!

Well.back from consultant mw appointment - and, although I didn't see the person I was meant too (she's on holiday!), I feel like I've got somewhere!

The upshot of it is that the mw I saw (mw in charge of mlu) has agreed that the mlu is the best place for me to be ... she's also going to be speaking to the obstetric pain clinic to see what can be done for me in terms of the pain I'm in.

And yes, I did cry ... and got very emotional about the whole thing, but we got there in the end.

Baby is measuring small for dates - but they're not worried, as she's growing - and as she's lying tranverse, it's not really surprising that she seems to be small.

Off to yoga tonight ... looking forward to the relaxation!

Thanks for your support, ladies!

Put down the mouse and step away from the search engines Feedmenow! Trouble when you search the net is that you come up with allsorts of stuff and it doesn't always give you accurate information or the full picture. I was told by GP that after a miscarriage your chance of another is exactly the same as if you had not had one previously. I think it is only if you have a few that there may be a problem so please try not to worry. I think that missed m/c are even less common than complete ones - trouble with MN (and real life too) is that you will hear more bad stories than good and I think a lot of people (me included) only found this site after m/c or children. Try and relax hun (I know, easier said than done). Fingers crossed you will get your happy ending, sometimes it is easier to feel nothing, I found it much easier to bond with baby once I got past 13 weeks xxx
MumofMonsters, still love the name, took me ages to think of a Pottery one and am not completely comfortable in it!
MrsMc, squiggles are lovely! Don't get them often but seem to be at least once a day now. Orkney is fantastic, really beautiful place full of lovely people - DH and I would love to live there! Hope you get to go with your Grandpa.
Firststar, yes I can't wait for the clothes! Mine are still held up with hairbands and undone when I'm at home, they are starting to pinch by lower stomach now even when undone so I know its time now! Just got given my maternity trousers at work - they are truly awful! I could fit both my legs down one leg hole and they are aparrently a small! Absolute bliss to wear though, so comfy I don't care what I look like (although thankfully I only have to wear them for 9 hours a week...)

x-posts Ejt, glad your appt went well though!

Beckle, are you BeckleSpeckle? How far along are you now? Thank you for the advice. Good to hear that you were told rates aren't really any different - thats pretty much exactly what I wanted to hear! Although even better would have been "Women who have m/c once have hardly any chance whatsoever of m/c again!"......what's that you say? No hope in hell? Oh, well.....
Ejt, I don't really know much of your situation but reading your post about the Cons MW agreeing that the MLU is the best place for you is fantastic!!! You must be so relieved. When are you due? Is it any concern if baby is currently transverse?

thanks feedmenow ...no reason for concern at the moment (am 29 weeks right now) that babe is transverse - she's just being a demon to measure!I know that if she isn't in the right position when it gets nearer the time, then I need to get myself to the acupuncturist!

have just had a chocolate eclair ... yum - am now waiting for indigestion to set in ... not so yum!

EJT -- Glad to hear that you found some understanding and that they agree that the MLU is the right place for you! I appreciate that your share your previous birth experience here because I feel the better informed I am the better I will be able to cope in different situations. Please continue to share your feelings with us! Plus sharing makes everything a little easier, doens't it!

Feedmeknow: Stopsurfingnow!!!! To my understanding part of mc business is just a chance game: 1 out of 4 will have some recombination error. Which means that the outcome of your last pregnancy has no bearing on your current one. Unfortunately, that means that your chances are again 3:4 and not better.
The statistics will be slightly skewed by the fact that unfortunately sometimes there are other conditions besides chance that contribute to mc. Since those cases contribute to the stats the chances are slighly worse than 3:4 but not necessarily for you, just for the population as whole.
OMG I stop rambling now. My apologies -- I am a scientist.

The point is: the statistics will not tell you anything about your current pregnancy. You just have to go with it and hope for the best. And here are plenty of ladies whi were exactly in the same position and it worked out, although we all had one or more mc. Is it your first child?

Thinking of you.

Thanks Glimmer. I have a dd (8) and a ds (5). I also had a TOP when ds was just 6 mths old as I was having a horrendous time and just couldn't have coped. So when I had the mc in January I obviously felt it was some sort of "punishment" for the TOP and really beat myself up about it!
Where abouts in your pg are you?

I am really struggling today I don't 'feel' pregnant (am about 5+3 days) and am now panicking that it will all be over soon. I can't seem to reassure myself that everything is ok. Not going to be scanned until 10-12 weeks, really wanted one at eight weeks like before so that I could relax a little bit.

Milf, I know what you mean. I am only 4+4(ish) and feel so panicky. Part of me wants a scan early to reassure me, but I don't know if it would really work cos I had a missed mc at 8+2 that wasn't picked up til 11 weeks. So even if I had a scan at 8 weeks and everything was fine, I just know I'd be worrying again by the next day!
When you say you really wanted one at 8 weeks like before, what is the before? Did it turn out to be a successful pg, or a mc?

I have one DD and had a scan at 8 weeks with her, I miscarried at about 5 weeks in May.

milf - do you not have access to an epau near you? You may well have even if your GP says you don't! They are not necessarily the fount of all knowledge they think they are!

I'd phone your local nhs trust and ask for information on the epau - then phone them, and lay it on really thick!

Thinking of you - my symptoms didn't kick in until 5 + something, and I was starting to really worry!

feedmenow - don't beat yourself up ...

Why did you have an early scan with dd milf, if you don't mind me asking?

I have PCOS and very irregular periods (infact only about twice a year prior to having DD, now they are every 6 weeks approximately) so I did not know what my dates were so they sent me for a dating scan.

ejt - no EPU that I can access directly - live in a highly rural area with a small hospital.

ejt, don't mean to sound naive, but can you go direct to EPU if you have concerns in early pregnancy? I'd always just thought you had to go through your GP and be referred!
Milf, did you ask your GP for an early scan this time and they said no?

I did and they said there was no need, am going to see him again tomorrow and will ask again but don't think they will agree. Won't get a scan date until i see the MW at about 9 weeks.

I really wonder if Gp's have ANY idea at all how hard mc is, and what effect it has on subsequent pg's! I realise scans cost the NHS money, but GP's don't even seem to sympathise with a womans need for reassurance even if they can't actually get you a scan.
I'm sure I read somewhere on MN that in France(?) where they routinely have scans at 8 weeks they have a lower mc rate because seeing baby is reassurance. Maybe it's a load of claptrap, but then again maybe it isn't.....

i can't believe how busy this thread is getting...obviously all that lovely weather in May got people in the mood for lurve

Congratulations to all of you and wishing you all lots of luck.

for those of you who don't know me, I'm a recent (6 weeks) graduate of this thread after 2 MCs.

firsty....we're only off to Staithes in N Yorks. I live in Leeds so not far really, but we wanted to get away with DS as all the focus has been on babyboo and he's feeling neglected. Its a lively little fishing village on the east coast and were staying right on the waterfront. fingers crossed for some nice weather.

Hi Daisy. Is babyboo a ds or dd? Loely to have someone who actually has their LO after mc.....

Have a lovely trip daisy and will keep fingers crossed for nice weather.

Feedmenow - don't torture yourself hun xx

Brill news Jules