Pregnancy after m/c (part 7), true hand-holding and support along the road...

[Uki]

Thought I'd start this in honour of Purple's effort so far, hope you don't mind Purple I liked this title best.

Welcome to our shiny new thread

I've just worked out that my anomoly scan isnt until 22 weeks! Still got 6 weeks to wait!
Finally got my hair cut, it was down to below my shoulder blades and looking quite scraggly but it's now a skimming the shoulders bob like Buffy in season 6 (after she attackes her hair with the scissors and then goes to hairdressers to sort it out .
DH likes it alot!

It's strange Hotchoc,
Even though I know the scan doesn't tell you 100% reliably, it has stopped me thinking about downs from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep, it will always be at the back of my mind until the baby is born and I know definately one way or the other, but it has helped.
Fingers crossed for you-people kept telling me about the people they knew that were high risk but it turned out ok, I just kept thinking that I might not be that lucky.

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Hello all

Bad news for plummymummy I am afraid - she has posted on the Due in the New Year Thread.

I am feeling a little paranoid as a result - she was only a week ahead of me and thought all was well at nearly 12 weeks having seen heartbeat at 8. I am nearly 11 and sickness definitely wearing off.

God this is all so bloody stressful.

Hi All,
Not keeping up with all the news on this thread but have been thinking about posting on here for ages but I have been too anxious to even write a word. Like Hayls have had two mc's recently after a healthy ds and I am now 8 1/2 weeks pg. Had an eight week scan with heartbeat all right size for dates etc but there was a small area of fluid outside the sac that could be blood. The doc said it was not unusual and nothing to worry about and usually gets reabsorbed and is not necesarily a sign of anything sinister, but that is easy for her to say when she has not had two mc's in a row.
Anyone else had this and pg has been fine? Also they were very optimistic about the pg because of the heartbeat, but the other two babes also had heartbeats and did not make it. I had missed mc's at 10 weeks and 12 weeks so I do not feel that confident that as is well. Last time babe died two days after 7 week scan . Consequently I have another scan at 10 weeks because of missed mc history.
I have my nuchal scan in 3 1/2 weeks. Do you think if I make it that far I can then start to relax a bit?

Hey Strangetown ? long time no see wow! 20 weeks! so glad the scan went well it must be a huge relief. 13+1 today

Hello Glimmer ? sorry to hear you haven?t been well get well soon! thanks for your good wishes for my nuchal (tomorrow ? ahhhh!)

HotChoc ? that sounds positive! I?m so pleased. Thanks for your thoughts for me hon

BouncingBuffy hair sounds nice ? my 20 week is when I am 21 weeks.

Jossie ? I so hope you are that lucky

Firsty ? maybe the lack of need for sleep means something?.

VictorVictoia ? it is so so sad about Plummy isn?t it it had the same effect on me. We must try not to worry, everyone?s different. Plummy was 10 days behind me. Take care hon x

Hello Taichimum welcome hon, you belong here with us! 8 ½ weeks wow! glad the scan showed a heart beat hon, I am sorry, I know nothing about fluid outside, hopefully someone will be along soon who can help. In my experience they are never optimistic at early scans without good cause. I have my nuchal tomorrow. Last time I saw my baby was at 8 weeks and it feels so long ago. I am both nervous and excited about tomorrow. I think when we get past our own personal danger point we feel safer but really, the mileage the pregnancy gets the better you feel don?t you think. All crossed for you x

Good luck for your nuchal tomorrow. So pleased you have made it. You must be very excited to see your bean tomorrow.
My danger period is 10-12 weeks so I have not even got to it yet. Got my nuchal in 3 1/2 weeks, so not long but still feel I am not going to get there. First mc was 3 days bfore nuchal and second one was 10 days before. The closer I get to it the worse I feel. How confusing is that!

Hi Taichi -- so sorry to hear about your distress. I know exactly how you feel and the weeks before the scans were just unbearable.
BUT: you have seen a HB recently which was the best news possible and it was the right size.

I wouldn't worry about the fluid: I had a cyst
that was as large as the embryo and disappeared two weeks later (possible the reason for why I bled). You just have to get through the next weeks somehow. Try to distract yourself and come and post here all your worries. It's not got to carry them all inside you....

It's tricky about the milestones and danger points...I personally didn't relaxt until qeek 17 or so, but you have no choice and have to take it as it comes. Just remeber: if you have a pregnancy in which everything will go well, you will see a HB at 8.5 weeks and that's all you can expect at this point.

Thinking of you.

Hi Taichi...I posted on your other thread... but my SIL had a pocket of blood between the sac and uterine wall which bled intermittently until about 16 weeks. It was very worrying for her as it wasn't picked up until the last (big) bleed at 16 weeks. she is now 30 weeks pregnant and doing great (it's twins as well!!)

I really hope that this works out for you and that you can get through the next few weeks emotionally. Keep talking on here, these lovely ladies got me through the best and the worst of days.

Good Luck xx

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Ph Plummymummy, I am so incredibly sorry to hear your sad news. Take good care of yourself.

Taichimum ? I understand where you are coming from, you will definitely feel better after your nuchal, have faith that you?ll get there, I know you will

Thanks Firsty ? have visions of you on that ball!

Thanks Jules you hang on in there hon xx

hi ladies

sorry not been around hope everyone is ok
feeling bubs move around a bit now (19+2)

cant believe time is going so fast it seemed to drag so much with dd2 (probably because i was stuck in hospital with severe sicness)

i have my 20 wk scan next thrusday cant belive its come round so quick, hoping all is well getting paranoid that im not really feeling movemnts just indegestion pr my imgination, and they will tell me somethings wrong

had my results from triple test and risks were low so hopefully, alls well just, just me being crazy

hi, haven't been on this for a long time. I'm 26 wks pregnant following m/c and horrible haemorrhage last July. Have got past that baby's due date etc, but am now coming up to the anniversary of the m/c. All is going well with this pregnancy and yet the next few weeks are filling me with dread as it brings back all the awful memories. Anybody else passed that milestone whilst pregnant?

katch have done one due date just gone and another coming up in September, but not mc date. Poor you. You have a lovely baby growing to give you something positive to think about so try and focus on the new life coming. On a mc thread I was on lots of people suggested having a special day out with you dh/dp or planting tree/lighting candle. I would guess that the due date would be worse, so maybe it won't be as bad as you think.
What I find hard is that some friends in RL got pg at same time as me and now have their newborns. It brings a lump to my throat every time I see them. The due date definately sucked.
Jules 99 great to see you surfacing here again like me. I too, until now, was too nervous to post. I understand completely. Those first few weeks are hell. Still are to be honest. Are you able to have an early scan? If so I would not recommend six weeks if you do. Mine was rubbish as there was nothing really going on and it made me worry even more. If you can wait until 7 weeks or even 8 that would be much better. Not everyone gets an option though do they. I am lucky that I can choose to be scanned and when pretty much.
Anyway best of luck for this one

Hey all!

sorry to hear about plummy - so . It really sucks this pg-lark - why is it so hard, for those of us so desperate?

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

I feel very neglectful of you all - been working far too hard at work. 7 weeks 2 days til my Mat leave though!

Glimmer - hope you are feeling better? How's life settling down with DH living with you?

MrsMc - good luck for your scan tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

To all those in those unsettling first few weeks - we all totally sympathsise with you. nothing can make it easier - take each day as it comes and remember we are here for you, whatever.

Katsh - I had the anniversary of my mc while pg with this one and it was so much easier because I knew that I was pg again. Had I still not been pg, it would have been awful to cope with, but I was able to be grateful that I was pg (albeit still in the worrying first 12 week phase!). Planning a nice day out to take your mind of things, is definitely a good idea - hope it goes ok

Good luck to all those up-coming scans!

hello everyone else! [waves]

Promise when work calms down, I'll be back properly.

big hugs.
xxx

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Thank you for the kind messages of support, I am not brave enough to post here more often as I feel I might jinx it all.

On the up side I have been getting more symptoms and I did another test (just to be sure!) and the line was darker so I am hoping these are all good signs.

I swing from feeling elated to terrified in literally minutes, thankfully I have an amazing DH who is totally supportive and sympathetic. This time round I am finding the mood swings more pronounced

Morning all ? have been a bit of a stranger these past few days ? have been madly trying to get all my work stuff done!

Haylstones - hi & welcome to knicker checkers anonymous - you ramble away girl ? personally I?m dreadful once I get going (as this post is bound to show!) ? hopefully you?ll be able to get your scan ? although I see your GP?s point ? it?s not him who?s having the raging doubts ? and sheer terror that we all get when going through the torment that is pg after mc!

milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo - hi & welcome to you too! BTW ? mood swings are totally normal!

MrsMc - good luck for today ? am thinking of you!

jossiejump & strangetown - great news about your scans!

Hotchoc - I?m really sorry I missed your agony about the blood tests ? no advice, just a reassurance that even 1/23 means that 22/23 babies won?t have a problem ? and tbh I echo what the others have said about bloods not being that reliable on their own. Glad that the consultant appointment was positive ? sometimes I could slap the patronising MWs though!

Daisyboo - fab to hear from you!

firststar - from somebody who underwent an induction for no other reason than being late, I have to say don?t do it! Your baby will come when it is ready ? the risk of going for an induction when there?s no real medical reason is that you will have more intervention during delivery, and are much more likely to end up with a C Section ? out of my antenatal group (8) when I was pg with ds, 4 of us were induced (for being late ? not for any danger to lo) ? and 3 of those ended up with a CS (of which I was one) ? sorry, tis a bit of a soap box for me ? induction is used far too often in UK, and the CS rate is testament to that!

Taichimum - it is lovely to see you back ? no advice, just a handy ear for you to vent at if you need it. I, like Glimmer, couldn?t relax until much further on in the pg than I thought - for me the big milestone was 24 weeks ? the magic ?viability? stage. I still worry now ? especially if I don?t feel lo moving for a while.

VictorVictoria - thank you for letting us know about plummy. It is horrible when somebody you?ve built a bond with and is due the same time has a mc ? hope you?re feeling ok ? and hi and (((((hugs))))) to plummymummy if you read this.

jules99 - come and join us ? we?re very reassuring to be around ? as we?ve all been exactly where you are right now.

Katsh - I passed the first anniversary of the 2nd mc at the end of May ? and then had all the significant dates in June which reminded me of things going horribly wring. If it?s any consolation, for me, I found that the build-up to the anniversary was worse than the actual date. I found ways to remember my lost babies. Bizarrely, this baby was conceived (if my temp & charting was right) on he anniversary of the 1st mc ? that made me really cry ? Thinking of you as you pass the milestone.

Hi and waving frantically to glimmer bouncingturtle mad4girls fettle

I?ve had a mad few days ? I?ve been trying to get my work sorted out so that I have little if anything to do in the holidays ? don?t think ds would be too impressed! I?m also madly making things ? some wheat bag teddies for ds?s teachers at school ? they?re quite sweet!

Take care everybody!

Thanks for understanding, and for your helpful advice. I feel like it shouldn't be a problem for me given that I'm pregnant, but it doesn't take away the sadness of the last loss. Glad that so many people are doing well.

hello again ladies
feeling quite bad today
is this normal 19+3
feeling absolutely drained like if i sleep all day it woukdnt be enough,also got that sick feeling back if i dont eat every 2 hours, just the same as at the beggining

is lo having a growth spurt or something ?

feel like someone stuck a tube in me and sucked the life out of me, can bearly keep my eyes open, and this after having an early night last night plus went back to bed for 2 hrs after school run, aaaaarrrgggg cant take it im so grumpy when tired

Ladies had my nuchal this morning! won?t know the results until next week but for me the very best bit was seeing beanie (aka skeletor) again ? he/she is the perfect size, has a beating heart and madly waving legs and arms with little hands and was very curious about us watching it (until photo time when he/she got shy and turned it?s back on us ) it made me well up, it was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen I?ll upload the pics. Downside was a complete interrogation about our choice not to have invasive follow ups if we come back high risk I think DH and I explained our views and arguments clearly but we still were made to feel stupid. DH was so cross that he became very quiet and I think it spoilt the ?viewing? for him a bit ah well, hopefully he?ll be on better form when we see Skeletor next week at the Dating Scan.

Mad4girls ? all sounds good with you all the very best for next Thurs sorry today?s not a good one.

Katsh ? feel for you hon and am so sorry about what happened we?ve said a few times on here recently that it really helps once you get past your own personal ?danger date? ? hope it?s not too long before it passes and that you can sigh with relief. Whilst I?ve got past that, I still have what would have been my due date to get through still. My Gran told me that once you lose a baby, there is always one missing in your family and I think that is so true. Don?t be a stranger

Taichimum ? hello.

Fettle ? not long left at work now hon

Hey Firsty

Milf ? just hang in there

Hey Ejt nice to see you how are you? interesting about induction ? will bear that in mind (though really hope I don?t have to go through that)

Great news mrs. Can't wait until I'm able to have a scan and see everythign's OK.

Not much knowledge on induction, what you said is very interesting though. I went into labour on my due date with dd {smug emoticon} and she was born 25 mins into the next day (BTW labour started at 3am, was a fun filled day, especially as it was dh's birthday). Here's hoping I don't need to think about induction