Anyone out there who thinks they DON'T want to breastfeed....?

[ballanj]

Clue is in the thread title really!

I'm interested to learn of any expecting mums (old hands and first timers) who were very much of the view that they didn't want to breastfeed, for whatever reasons.

I'm just under 12 weeks, so some way off for me and I may feel differently about it as the months progress, but right now I'm very much thinking 'no'. I know a lot of mums say 'breast is best' but for some reason, no idea as to why, it just doesn't appeal to me as being the option I'd choose. Does this make me a terrible person?! Maybe it's because I don't want to feel like a milking cow and being on demand and wanting my partner and other family members to share in the feeding. Are there any other mums that just express in order to bottle feed? I'd be really interested to know what everyone else really thinks. And please, no judgment or 'this way is the right way' as everyone is different and I'm still trying to find my own way on this and gauge what I really feel! Thanks x

I think the original title was “anyone out there not want to breastfeed” not “preach to me the virtues of bfing “ or even “bf ff debate no. 3949587392”

Of course formula is perfectly valid. It's fine. Breastmilk is better for your baby but that doesn't mean formula is bad.

There are lots of reasons why a woman might not want to bf, and that is her right. It would be a shame though if some of those reasons were based on misconceptions so it's important to know the reality - it doesn't always hurt, even at the beginning, it doesn't mean the dad (or whoever) can't feed the baby, it doesn't ruin your boobs, and actually many people find it easy and love it. If you don't want to that's ok, but if you're on the fence why not try it, as even a few early feeds of colostrum will be beneficial to your baby. Nothing to stop you moving to ff or mix feed later, whereas it's hard to reestablish bf if you don't do it from the start.

And also this thread is aimed at those who 'DON'T Wish to BF'

It's in the OP's Thread Title....

No?

'I think the original title was “anyone out there not want to breastfeed”'

Quite Di and so did I

But Red is apparently on the wrong thread?

I’m not on the wrong thread. You make your decisions and own them. But I’m suspecting by the strength of feeling behind your comments to me here, you aren’t 100% truly happy with them.

I agree - why not just see in that 30 mins post birth when you are naked and baby is hungry and awake try putting your baby near your boob and see what it does. It doesn’t mean you have to then bf for life. The option is switch is always there but if you don’t start bf it’s incredibly difficult to then try a week or so later.
If you’ve had a shit birth, c section, drugs, NICU etc then this obviously can’t be done. But even then I think ‘try’ when you are both in a better state. You don’t need to starve your baby - give formula if it doesn’t work and don’t feel guilt because you’ve at least tried.

I'm 100 percent happy

Don't have to justify to someone who is just my polar opposite

But just for the record

Following my ELCS I enjoyed a bacon sandwich whilst giving my DH have Dd her Aptamil which she seemed to enjoy straight away.

Different horses for different courses

Redteapot, I thought you considered yourself fairly educated and 'middle class', no less? Yet you appear to be struggling to understand the concept of choice. Baffles me really and, yes, I'm now judging you. Women can choose how to feed their child these days, both ways are fine and they don't have to try breastfeeding if they don't want to. Simple.

'why not just see in that 30 mins post birth when you are naked and baby is hungry and awake try putting your baby near your boob and see what it does. It doesn’t mean you have to then bf for life. The option is switch is always there but if you don’t start bf it’s incredibly difficult to then try a week or so later.
If you’ve had a shit birth, c section, drugs, NICU etc then this obviously can’t be done. But even then I think ‘try’ when you are both in a better state. You don’t need to starve your baby - give formula if it doesn’t work and don’t feel guilt because you’ve at least tried.'

Wasted on myself as I had no intention to try

My choice

We are wired up differently

I accept and respect your choices

Please do the same where others are concerned.

I breastfed DS for 2 years. It was 2 years of hell.

DC2 will be bottle fed from birth.

I should have listened to my instincts with DS and never done it. I'd knew I'd hate it.

Martha - your choice but which impacts someone else (your child). You have a duty to do what is best for them imo. So yes, we are wired differently there. I put my kids best interests first every single time. Not just my desire for a bacon sandwich post birth.

Sandstorm - I felt like that with my dc2 even took formula into the hospital ready to feed if it was going to be a struggle (because it was a struggle with dc1). But it was a much better and positive experience second time round.

Redteapot67 did your friends who didn't try say they thought what they were doing was the best for their baby? Or did they donut knowing formula was second best way if feeding but when weighed up with all their other factors felt it was best overall for those concerned?

As I've stated above, I bf DS until he was 2 and I'm making a different choice for DC2, I know I can bf, that breast milk is best for baby, that I'm choosing an interior feeding method but it is the best choice for our situation.

Redteapot67 but it wasn't a struggle with DS, it was incredibly easy. No pain, no latch or supply issues, no confidence issues. Just hated be it. No reason, just how I felt.

'Not just my desire for a bacon sandwich post birth.'

Twas' amazing, crispy with Brown sauce on crusty bloomer. With a steaming cup of tea.

When we first became three.

Special times

Why would you persevere for two years?

Sand - it was their first babies and I didn’t ask. Because like I said I wouldn’t say anything unless they raised it or asked me. When they did mention it in passing they just said ‘it makes me feel yukky’ Or ‘I’m not maternal I can’t imagine doing that and don’t want not to sleep’. In reality both come from families which are very pro ff - to the extent their mums have sat there slagging off bf whilst I’ve sat there doing it! I do think the people around you have a massive influence on your feelings as to bf/ff.
I think it’s different - this if your second . You HAVE tried. It’s just the not trying I can’t understand.
I’ve every sympathy and empathy to anyone whose tried it and for whatever reason though this isn’t going to work. Or wanted to but it couldn’t work.

Martha - I’m veggie! Def each to their own!

I think my friends genuinely think formula is as good as breastmilk if I’m honest.
I think a lot of people think that.

Quite Red

And I would NEVER attempt to get you try my Bacon Roll

I have had 3 children 2 unfortunately I was unable to breastfeed as 30 years ago due for o then having cleft palate it was a bit of a problem and not advised. My third child was breastfeed and I will say it has no bearing how I have no bonded and related to her at al
Also she is the only one of all three that got a 1st at uno
😁😂😂

I didn't want to BF the thought of a. Any patching on to my nipple creeped me out but I always said I would at least try. There is no better bond than what you share with your baby and breastfeeding is a natural extension to that bond... but everyone is different !!?

MonkeyMummy I think your post from midday was really good and had some great points but "C) Your toes will curl as the baby latches on for the first few weeks." is wrong. It's doesn't always hurt at all. My two DDs were very different feeding experiences but neither time did it hurt other than feeding through mastitis and blocked ducts. The mastitis and blocked ducts came much later than the first few weeks both times. Admittedly DD2 was tongue tied and it did hurt from the end of day one until day two when we had it cut, then it was a pain free latch.

I only posted because of the fear someone who is on the fence about breastfeeding could be put off by the expectation that it will hurt.

TheDowagerCuntess lots of reasons but the fact he was a bottle refuser and PND meaning I felt my feelings weren't reason enough to stop were the main ones.

This thread has really opened my eyes. When I see women formula feeding I usually feel a pang of sympathy for them presuming that they've had a rough time trying to breastfeed, it hasn't worked out so they've had to turn to formula. After reading some of these comments I fear I'll have my Redteapot67 judgy hat on more often, the majority of what she's written have been thoughts I'd never be brave enough to voice IRL or even on an anonymous forum. And as I wrote further up thread, I doubt I'll ever understand why any woman wouldn't at least try (if there aren't any serious physical or psychological reasons not to).

SleepIsNeeded but why should they try? There's loads of things people should do that is the best for them but have no intentions of ever trying.

We should trust people to know themselves and make decisions that they believe are the best for them/ their families. It isn't like the information isn't out there for them to make informed decisions.