Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

emalady I’m finishing the 24th November and baby is due 1st December. I don’t want to waste any mat leave with no baby here. So I have a weeks leave starting the 26th November. X

@VillageFete Congrats on the pregnancy. I've not got PCOS so I'm afraid I can't help.

@hailseitan Indefinitely wouldn't get a harmony just for gender. You can do a private scan from 16 weeks to find out tho. There's a big chain called Window to the Womb and they do it for £60. There may be one near you as there are so many. They are the cheapest I found and we went and it was fine.

@emalady I am due 17th Jan so am going to finish at Christmas. I should have enough annual leave to take me until the week before so will start mat leave around 7th or 10th of Jan depending how much leave I have left

@hailseitan meant to say "I definitely wouldn't..."

Hi ladies, regarding gender me and my DH was totally convinced we are having a boy. We though about names, nursery decor etc... and then we found out we are having a girl! 😁 I adjusted in seconds (I actually wanted a girl) but my DH... we is very happy now but he looked shell shocked for about an hour.
@hailseitan I agree, if you just want to know the gender before nhs 20 week scan, then In some Mothercare stores they have Babybond ultrasound departments. During my nhs scan my baby refused to reveal the gender so the next day we went to Mothercare. I think it cost us £39
Now we are waiting for advised week 28 for 3D scan. Only two weeks away, as I’m 26 weeks today!
Oh and regarding books- I have day by day pregnancy book. I read is like strange “advent calendar “!!! Every day one page! And I also have pregnancy app that sort of tells you how baby looks, how big she is and how heavy every week. And gives photos and weeks by Week suggestions. This week for example my girl is size of papaya is almost 1kg and it’s time to start nursery prep 😁

@Fox23 I have the day by day book too, I love it. But I'm after a baby book - for when this little one actually gets here 😍

@MarthaMe nope, don’t have one of those... I suppose when the baby gets here I will hopefully know what’s the best book to suit us. It just feels so far still
So tired today. I woke up at 5. Then fell asleep till 8. Then fell asleep till 10. Watched few episodes of Last man on earth and fell asleep till 12.30 now... back in the bed (on the bed is more accurate) and watching Last man on earth again... I hope I don’t fall asleep again!!!

Hello all. Hope you don’t mind me joining. I’ve come over from the bfp after ivf message group.

I’m currently 19 weeks 3 days and am having my anomaly scan on Tuesday where we are hoping to find out the baby’s gender.

We finally got our bfp after operations for endometriosis, problems with my husbands sperm and due to my age the quality of my eggs.

We therefore went abroad and used an egg donor where initially the process again failed but after going back to have our frozen embryos transferred and promising ourselves this was our last go, we got our bfp.

It hasn’t been easy I bled constantly up until about week 12 and we lost one but we are so thankful that we still this little one here.

I’m starting to feel lots of movement which is just amazing and I’m starting to come out of tha nauseous/tired phase although now finding it difficult to get a comfortable sleeping position on my left hand side 🙈

@fox23 I'm kn today too, woke up at 6am and had a snack before going back to bed until 10. Currently watching spirited away lying on the sofa.
I bought the commando dad pregnancy guide for my husband, they do a birth to 3 book as well I will probably get for him. The wonder weeks has been recommended by a friend, think there is a book and an app on development.

Welcome @VillageFete and @Barcelo18
Both of you have had such a though journey. I suppose it’s true, most of us on this thread have had very long and painful journey one way or other. So I hope we can provide you with help and support.
@Barcelo18 congratulations on almost week 20! It’s such a massive milestone!!!
Fingers crossed your scan goes well!!!! 🤞

Thanks for the info peeps. I think I will have to be patient until 7th September for my 20 week.

I didn't know about Mothercare having a scanning service. Not sure the one in my town has it though as I've practically been living there 😂

Welcome @Barcelo18 and congrats! xx

I lost track of this thread when it moved from the infertility boards so great to rediscover it and see so many people progressing well.
Really sorry to read that you are in hospital, Decaf. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
I‘m 27w and may only be pregnant for a few weeks more as I have vasa previa and a velamentous cord insertion (and also placenta previa). I will have to have a caesarean.
In case you hadn’t heard of vasa previa, it is much more common in ivf pregnancies (1 in 200 for us vs 0.6 in 1000 otherwise) but it not screened for on the NHS. Especially if you also have other risk factors such as a low lying placenta, twins etc. If you have painless second trimester bleeding you should definitely be checked for this, but most doctors will never have had a patient with it. It’s 95% fatal when undiagnosed.
Diagnosis is by vaginal doppler scan and it’s very quick for them to check.
Public service announcement over ;-)

@damesylviekrin. I have heard of this before on another thread not sure if it was you. At least they have diagnosed you and are hopefully keeping a very close eye on you. How did you find out you had it then? Was it from bleeding like you mentioned above?

Hi @DameSylvieKrin welcome back. Sorry I had to move the group cos some people on the infertility boards got upset to see a pregnancy board there - I know we all understand how hard that time is - so we got moved over to pregnancy - only trouble is - we are harder to find!

I remember you mentioning your placenta previa on the other thread. Glad you are still ok. When will you have your cesarian?

@Barcelo18 glad you found us!!

@MarthaMe if you find a good book, let me know!

@emalady Will check out commando dad (are you sure that isn't just a Dad with no pants on!)

@Fox23 sorry you are so knackered - at least it is the weekend so you could sleep all day!

Xxx

Hello ladies, hope everyone is doing ok. I’ve been on hols for the last week or so, absolute heaven but back to work today and to reality with a bump.

In terms of books, I had friends who used the Wonder Weeks and liked it. The books vary enormously and it is very much a case of different strokes for different folks. Some I know used Gina Ford as they liked the regimental approach, some hated it! I didn’t use any books but rather just sought advice as and when I felt I needed it as it was nice to find my own way with DC1 (now 4). If you are breastfeeding, I would really recommend the Kelly Mom website as I found that really helpful and there are videos etc to show you how to help get the baby to latch. With other stuff, I just asked my Mum, friends who already had kids, others in my NCT class, google search or good old Mumsnet!

@janefx40 like a slightly classier way of saying DILF?!

I work in the NHS and have given advice on pregnancy /babies etc before, it's really wierd to think if I'm following my own advice and how good it actually is. I just read French children don't throw food and like the idea of a slightly regimented routine but don't know if I could actually do it.

Thanks @swimchick1980 and other ladies for suggestions.

I will have a read of that one. It's not so much that I want a guide to follow but more a book I can look stuff up in if I start panicking - so more like a book that tells you when their vision comes in and when they might sit up etc

I will have an explore and let you know if I find anything good x

Hi @emalady I've heard of French Children...not sure I'm a regimented type of person but good to have the info at least.

Had my first weekend in a while without a migraine. I feel very "post migrainy" so really drained and far from well. But not in severe pain which is a massive improvement

Hope you are all ok and sending so much love to you @Decafplease

Xxx

I would say for that sort of stuff you’d be as well signing up for a week by week app. Think the NHS does one I think and I think also Baby Centre. I’m sure there will be loads of others too.

Yes, @barcelo, it was me on the other thread too.
I was diagnosed completely by chance because of computer problems during the anomaly screening. I had no symptoms at all. All the doctors I have seen since apart from the specialist (who only works in disorders of the placenta and umbilical cord) have never seen it in a patient and say they wouldn’t have caught it. They didn’t know it was more common in ivf patients.
I am going to suggest to my clinic that they include it in the discharge letter so that people can ask for the scan themselves.
We have been so lucky.

Anyone else have restless / achey legs? I couldn't sleep last night because of it and still have them this morning. Weird or a pregnancy symptom? I'm 15 weeks btw.

@MarthaMe yes!!!! Mine started about week 7 or 8. Then it sort of stopped and it’s now back with vengeance . It’s soooo annoying...

Yes! marthame I get it just before I’m going asleep not every night though. My friend had it all the way through her pregnancy. Another wonderful effect of pregnancy 😂

How weird!!! I had to get up and walk about it was such an odd feeling. Oh well at least I'm getting symptoms :)

Hi all. Thanks for your kind messages. Unfortunately the worst happened for us. Despite the bed rest and progesterone my waters broke and i went into labour on Saturday. My little one was only 23w 1 day. He was so perfect, just too little. He passed away shortly in our arms. It has been the most devastating week of my life. My body and heart ache for him. The doctors could give no explanation for why this happened. There were no signs of infection, i jad no risk factors, our scan just 2 weeks ago was perfect. One minute we were joking about names, next the doctors were telling us suvival stats for extreme premies. It feels like i am in some sort of nightmare, but i cant wake up.
We are grieving now for our little boy, for the awful decisions we had to make and for the fact we will never be mum & dad. After the horror of last week neither of us can imagine doing this again.
Wish you ladies all the best. If you ever feel uneasy in yourself please get everything checked out. I hope you all have successful pregnancies.

Oh decafplease I am so, so sorry to read your devastating news. I have been thinking of you. There are no words for this.