Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

@Decafplease yes.,, unfortunately that’s true. I think it was week 17ish when we bought pram+car seat+carrycot and last week I ordered cot.., and next week we are off to prepare nursery (my DH is losing his man cave ) and I have baby wish list with mothercare and Amazon and I buy everything from my list if it’s on special offer. From main purchases I only need to get baby monitor and sleepyhead.
To be honest I try not to think about “what if” as that would literally devastate me. I have to make myself believe that all will be good. Most days I look in the mirror and can’t convince myself that I’m actually pregnant. It probably will not hit me until the baby is here.
Yes, retail therapy is the most joyous experience

Hope your ok jane

I’m not booking onto that course I’m not one for them things. I’m not breastfeeding either ive seen how hard it was for my friends and with everything I’ve been through to get this far i just want to enjoy it and not be struggling with the feeding. Both my niece and nephew were bottle fed and it done them no harm!

I have all the big things and my pram. Lots of things where on sale in mamas so got it then. My pram was an absolute bargain from silver cross, it was in a bundle sale on the website with a car seat and other extras for £750!

I don’t want to think “what if” I’ve done enough of that so I’m just positive thinking and getting everything I need!

Xx

@Liverpool19 was your pram from Mothercare? I got mine from there - it was silver cross either Brompton or Chelsea... I went for Brompton but I think with extra discount it was about the same as yours!

fox no it was off the silver cross site. I got the wayfer with loads of accessories and the car seat all included, changing bag etc! I was so shocked when i seen the price. I ordered it last week itvsaid a 9 week wait and it came the next day! X

Hey everyone, I'm 12 weeks exactly today and pooping my pants about it.

My scan isn't for a week and I just want to know everything is ok. All my symptoms are gone now, but I've got an enormous bump, so that's the only thing that's convincing me I haven't dreamed all this up!

@hailseitan- congratulations on 12 weeks! Such a massive milestone!!!! Don’t get worried about symptoms disappearing as they do disappear more or less overnight around 12 week mark but we are all different 😁 I’m sure you are ok 😁
My nurse said to stop worry and just enjoy the ride! We can all worry if we ever really have to. Easier said than done but it’s my mantra when I start to think what I shouldn’t.
😊😊😊

Hello “hailseitan” congratulations! Like fox said your symptoms will disappear. Mine came back then they went. Now I just have terrible heartburn no matter what I eat or drink! Try not to panic. X

Welcome @hailseitan you'll really enjoy the scan. I hadn't realised it would be so thorough - I just thought it was another "check it's there" type thing but you get to see all sorts. Obviously there are nervy moments as we all want to be sure things are ok but mostly it's a pretty special experience!

@Liverpool19 I'm with you. I'm determined to do whatever makes this whole experience least traumatic. I feel I don't have time at 41 years old to be traumatised by the birth or breastfeeding. For me though, I love a course!!! so I will go and learn all about it and if I can make it work, I will. But if it stresses me or makes me unhappy I will switch to bottle. I've also seen too many friends suffer for too long. We all have to do what is right for us and our babies will be happier as a result x

Oh and you asked how I am too! I am bruised. Just as my headache finally faded (seems to be back again this morning) I fell over!! Literally fell off the kerb in the street. People just stared at me. So now my knees are covered in bruises and I can't walk properly 

Oh and @hailseitan I was also hugely pregnant looking by 12 weeks. Glad it's not just me!!

Congrats hailseitan! As everyone said the symptoms start to go about this time, so try not to worry. Easier to say than do!
liverpool i’m with you onthe heartburn. I should buy shares in Gaviscon & Rennie!
jane you poor thing! Hope you arent in too much pain.
I’m 41 too, and totaly agree, its taken too long to get to this point, i’m not going to make myself miserable with unreasonable expectations. But I do love be to be prepared & know my options. 😀
At the moment i’m hoping to combi feed, breast when possible & bottles so DH can also share. But we will see how things go.
DH really eager to feel baby kicking, but poor guy, the anterior placenta (and my belly padding) means he cant feel it yet. On the other hand its going to leave me bruised when baby kicks hard enough isn’t it? Maybe I shouldn’t wish for that just yet!

Thanks guys! Ooo @Janefx40 are you? I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

I haven't announced anything yet, but someone actually came up to me at work yesterday and flat out asked me if I was pregnant. I was mortified!

@hailseitan lol, nevertheless understood how people can do that! I had similar one around week 12... a customer said- I see your diet is not going too well?- I almost punched him! How rude is that???
Anyway, even now at 23+6 I still get colleagues who don’t know stare at me and ask others- is she pregnant or just...? Unbelievable -men! 😆
@Janefx40 I hope you are ok! It’s such a silly pregnancy side effect... I also tripped on the stairs and smashed my shin against the step... week on and finally nasty bruise is coming through. To be honest I’m so clumsy lately that it’s comical.
Want to hear something even more comical? My company car needed urgent repair so I had to get hire car.. guess what they gave the pregnant lady? Brand new VW GTi!!!! Seriously- boy racer car! 😆😆😆

It’s 24weeks today 💕💕💕💕💕
Only 16 to go!
My DH felt my little girl for the first time yesterday 🌷

Ah congrats @Fox23 you're nearly there. How lovely that DH felt her move

Hope you aren't zooming around too much in your new sports car!!!

X

Oh jane hope your bruises aren’t too bad!!
I’ve literally been walking round on another plannet this weekend feel all in a daze 😂 yeah I want to enjoy the time I have off with the baby as I’ll be returning to work after 6 months, as my full pay stops then so I don’t want to ruin it by stressing out over little things!
fox that’s amazing to hear!
I’ve jusy changed my car to a golf I love it 😂

I’m sick of people saying “oh your starting to show” well am 5 months I’d be surprised if I didn’t have a tiny bump by now!!

Xx

I hope you ladies who are further along are managing in this heat. I have to admit, I’m over it now!!! 😂

Have been feeling so anxious the last few days ahead of today’s scan & Harmony test results, so not been so active.

Low risk for all trisomies & my little one is growing well with a strong heart beat. 😊 So, I can relax a bit, look into he different courses or start worrying about buying baby things ...and I’m only 13.4! 😁

Congrats and welcome @hailseitan

@Fox23 wow you're kidding! That's incredibly rude! Some people

@Fox23 a girl today told me I looked at least 18 weeks! And I'm only 13 + 4!

Congrats @SouthernBella74 it's such a relief isn't it!!! Did you find out the sex? We did although we decided not to share it.

I saw the consultant team today. I still have a urine infection despite having taken anti-biotics but she said it wasn't anything to worry about.

She also gave me codeine for my headaches. I am going to use very sparingly but it is such a relief to know I know have some pain relief.

Xxx

@SouthernBella74 congratulations on test results!!! It’s the best news ever 🌷🌷🌷
Baby stuff shopping.... once you start is totally impossible to stop! I love it! It’s actualy quite an educational process as I made a list (verrryyy looong list) of what I will need and then before buying anything I made research of what’s the best.
Ooh, and the heat- I have never liked heat. I’m cold/rain kinda girl... so yes, I’m struggling with it. At least I’m off this week (preparing nursery ☺️)
@Liverpool19 - that’s brave going back after 6 months! I can see why tho, and if my workplace didn’t pay very well during the 2nd half I also would go back. At the moment my plan is to be off for a year.
And your bump... in the beginning of this journey I was hoping for bump every day, now I quite wish I wasn’t this huge 😁
@hailseital right? Some people are rude... I have the best answer up my sleeve for people like that, questioning my appearance- intentional or not- “I’m pregnant- what’s your reason?”😆😆😆

fox I will loose £1000 a month after 6 months and as much as I’d love to stay off I also need to pay my bills 😂 and my boyfriend has had to take a £12000 pay drop for a year while he trains for his new job! So Santander won’t be best pleased if I stop paying my mortgage 😂😂 southern congratulations on your results brilliant news!
Oh jane people are really rude aren’t they. People keep thinking its acceptable to touch my belly 😡

Oh yes baby shopping... because we have the big stuff bought I come home most days to find clothes parcels have arrived, no idea who keeps ordering things 👀😂

I’m off the doctors tomorrow for this heartburn I can’t eat or drink without wanting to vomit with the pain.

Xx

Thanks ladies! It was nice to hear the heart beat again and to know the baby is developing well. 🤗

@jane, I’d prefer to not know the sex until delivery, but my OH wants to know! So, the compromise was to wait until the 20w scan. 😃 Glad you’ll be getting some relief for your headaches.

@fox, oh my days! Seems like Christmas everyday with all your deliveries! 😂 I’m going to try and hold out as long as possible, as I know I’d probably go a little crazy.

@liverpool, it’s a tough decision deciding how long to take mat leave. I’m hoping to take 12 months and trying to scrimp & save as much as I can now. But who knows what will be left once I start shopping! 😁 Hope you get some relief from your heartburn.

I’m hoping my “most of the day” sickness is finally disappearing...but I’m not going to hold my breath 😬

@Janefx40 how are u feeling? Hope the infection is gone. I have my midwife appointment next week so I will ask about the headache tablets as it seems to be the only pregnancy side effects that is not going away... I’ve been taking paracetamol one at the time and only when it gets real bad.
@SouthernBella74 hope your morning sickness is getting better. I’m so sorry but I cannot give any advice as I was lucky enough never to suffer from it. I can only imagine how annoying that is! 🤢
@Liverpool19 what did doctor say about your heartburn? I had mine at about 12 weeks for a short while but fingers crossed it doesn’t come back 🤞🤞🤞

We wallpapered baby’s nursery yesterday.
Looks so pretty 😁
We were so desperate to find out gender that when the baby refused to show herself during 20week scan my DH had an argument with the baby- yes! Argument with my belly!!! Anyway, the next day we booked private appointment and there it was clear as day- it’s a girl 💕💕💕

fox he gave me tablets after 10 minutes of arguing with him over it. Yesterday I had one thing to eat because it was so bad! The tablets have started to take the edge off so I feel like I can eat again 😂

Xx

I couldn’t wait until my 20 week scan to find out so we booked an early one at 16 weeks. I haven’t even thought about his nursery yet I know I should!

Hello lovely ladies, I found you, yay!!

So lovely to see lots of lovely stories. For those I don’t know from other boards, I’m 23 weeks on Friday (getting there). Have 1 DC (4). TTC for 4 years after DC1 born (2 years TTC for DC1). Had MC last year. Did ICSI earlier this year and amazingly got a BFP on first go (I still count my lucky stars every day).

My bump is flipping massive - Liverpool i’m so pleased to hear you say that about front facing placentas as I have one of those so will blame the bump on that and not the stone in weight I have already put on - eeeeek!

I did NCT with DC1. Someone I know described it as middle class speed dating for new parents and I think this is a great description! I still meet the other Mums regularly 4 years later and they have been a wonderful source of support over the years. It was great at the start hearing birth stories and asking “does your baby do this” questions as you are all at the exact same stage. For me, it was worth every penny. In terms of actual learning, I wouldn’t expect much other than telling you pain relief is the devil’s own work and that skin to skin contact will solve any issue, breastfeeding or otherwise. For what it’s worth, my advice re the birth would be to be as open minded as possible - there are some things you just can’t control. Also do whatever works best for you. I did find the breastfeeding support the NCT offered after DC1 was born very helpful.

Fees, what an essay when all I really wanted to say was hi 👋!

*gees not fees!!