Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

Panic over, my little one just kicked me! Phew 😁
As if she read what I just wrote, patiently waited for me to click “post” and then kicked me just to prove that I’m panicking over nothing ☺️

Welcome hail, wombat and Martha. Congratulations to you all. The journey really is a roller coaster isn’t it. My first DC was a natural pregnancy (it took us a couple of years) and I blissfully enjoyed my pregnancy with very little stress. Anyone who has gone through IVF or had a MC will never have the luxury I don’t think. It’s so lovely having this thread to share the stresses along the way and hopefully in a few months share our lovely news with each other. Have a lovely weekend ladies 😀

So pleased you got a little kick @Fox23 ! She must have known you were in need of some reassurance! And thank you for the lovely welcome.

I only had a scan on Thursday but the reassurance only lasts about 24 hours. I'm back to panicking again now.

Has anyone bought a Doppler? My mw has listened to babies heartbeat twice now with no problems on a Doppler so I'm wondering if it might help me to buy one for these panicking moments? (Every 24 hours!!! 🙄)

@MarthaMe welcome. We are about the same stage. When I first heard about home dopplers I was tempted but now am too worried that I wouldn't know how to use it properly and would then panic that I couldn't find a heart beat.

I've been getting a bit of cramping over the last few days. It is very mild but it still makes me worry every time.

Still let's all try to have a good weekend!

Thank you all for the welcome and reassurance Sorry to have crashed the thread without acknowledging anyone else! Feeling a bit better this morning, but really torn between excitement and wanting to buy up all of Mothercare to being panicked and waiting until we're on the way home from hospital to buy nappies! Baby can sleep in a drawer for the first nights anyway, I think Reckon I'll probably wait until 24 weeks or so..

Nice to see some familiar names here @decaf, @fox, @swimchick, @janefx, and some new names too. It really is quite different from the other boards where others haven't gone through the trauma of IF/loss/IVF/etc. Fab that we all have each other to lean on.

@MarthaMe, a midwife friend told me not to get a doppler. She said that it can give you false reassurance as midwives and HCPs are trained to listen for particular patterns and rates that we wouldn't pick up on. So you might think you hear baby's heart or that it's an acceptable beat but actually signifies something dangerous. So I'm taking that advice but I know loads of other women do buy them.

Hi all, can I join in, I'm only 11+4 but the "normal" pregnancy group feels weird and I feel a bit too far for the early days.I have had a couple of scans so far but have my actual 12 week scan next Friday. I'm 34 and we were TTC for 2-3 years before IVF (and ICSI). We have been very lucky and conceived on our first fresh cycle but with all the drugs I have been knackered and nauseous since the middle of treatment so have gained a couple of stone and not really managed to do any exercise. My massive ovaries were hurting a LOT if I tried to run / bounce/ walk fast. Now trying to start moving a bit more but still struggling with a bit of morning sickness which sucks. Had one person tap my tummy so far - I don't get how that's ok. Basically everyone I work with knows as I has to make some safety changes to my job so its a bit strange.

Hello everyone and welcome to the newbies. Congratulations on your scans and milestones!
emalady I like you have to change my job with being pregnant due to safety reasons. I work with mainly men and they kept asking was I pregnant. I kept saying no I had medication (we can’t do our normal jobs on certain medications either) and they actually believed me 😂

Hope everyone is feeling ok apart from the obvious 😂

Xx

Welcome @emalady I've had to tell people too but mostly because I'm so obviously pregnant.

No one has touched my belly yet but it is crazy isn't it?! You'd never touch someone's belly normally...why would you do that when someone is pregnant

X

@emalady welcome! And i agree that other boards seem too... carefree and focusing on completely different subjects. So next Friday is the big day! Congratulations 💐💐
I totally understand the weight gain thing... it doesn’t happen to everyone but going into this journey I read that meds can do it to you. And unfortunately I did gain tons if weight. I mean I haven’t been on the scales since week 12 but at that point I had gained a stone... now I’ve gained two dress sizes. I already dream of losing it all! I was reading an article about weight gain and they said that if it stresses you then ask them not to tell you exact figure. I will do that definitely.
I’m lucky I didn’t have to make any changes that would be noticeable in early stages but now that I can’t hide anymore I must say my colleagues are so supportive 😊
I have had the most horrendous lower back pain since I woke up yesterday and this morning it’s still there. So my plans on finishing nursery will not happen. Oh well there is always next weekend!
PS I’m 25weeks today!!!!!

Thanks on being so welcoming. @fox23 congratulations on 25 weeks, it seems so far away now but guessing the time to prepare will vanish pretty quickly. @janefx40 I know, its so odd, I wouldn't dream of just patting someone on the tummy pregnant or not, I can't quite imagine how someone thinks it's OK. @liverpool19 Men can be pretty obtuse, I guess even if they didn't believe you it would be super rude to push the point!

@wombats A nurse did advise me not to get a Doppler too but I'm still toying with the idea. If only for days like yesterday when I really needed a bit of reassurance. I only had my scan 2 days before so I know it's silly really. I'm being monitored closely and I'm consultant lead anyway.
Are we all consultant lead being ivfers?

The weight thing has been worrying me too but for the opposite reason. I'm 7&1/2 stone and haven't even gained 1 pound and im 14 weeks now. My appetite still hasn't come back (it went at 6 weeks) but I'm making sure I eat 3 meals a day even though it's a struggle. I've got the tiniest little bump which seems to get bigger during the day then is almost non existent in the day. I'm worrying baby isn't growing as he should. I was measured 2 days behind at 12 weeks then 4 days behind last week. Anyone else had this?

*non existent in the morning!

martha I didn’t gain any weight until 17 weeks and that was because I had a weeks holiday. I’m 21 weeks now and last id checked I’d put 7lb on. I’d put 3lb on from holiday and the rest baby as I weighed two weeks later. I also lost my appetite, some days I will eat loads others it still a struggle. I wouldn’t worry too much. Xx

@MarthaMe, I didn't gain much weight either, consultant told me not to worry in the early days as baby gets everything it needs from your body. Also quite normal to lose a bit in first trimester with morning sickness, so not to worry if you've not put much on yet.

@Fox23, fab to work on the nursery, take some time for your back to rest hun.

@emma, welcome, I reckon the tummy tapping only gets worse from now on! I've only had one friend do it without asking but felt alright as it's a work mate. Not looking forward to the randoms on the tube, though!

I'm so scared. I had my scan Friday and all was well. I was told I had a very wriggly baby and baby was healthy etc and yesterday after a long day travelling in the car I suddenly felt a small gush and I realised I was bleeding. I went to a&e and the bleeding almost seemed like it stopped.

They did my bloods and checked my urine and all came back ok and I'm having a scan tomorrow morning... but I'm terrified. Now I've just been to the loo and I'm bleeding brown drops of blood. Is this left over from yesterday? The fact it's brown makes me think it's not fresh... which is good right?

I'm so scared. I want this baby so much. Has this happened to any of you??

@hailseitan, sorry you've had this, sounds so frightening. I've heard brown blood is old so probably reassuring. I've also heard bleeding is much more common with IVF. One of the girls from the BFP after IVF group had bleeding nearly every day and was fine. Holding your hand and sending good thoughts xx

@hailseitan Yes I had this on Tuesday last week, list lots of blood and clots and was petrified. I too went to a&e abd turned out I'd haemorrhaged but baby was fine.
I know how scary it is so won't even say 'try not to worry' because it's only natural.
With any luck you will have the same as me. Mine stopped after a couple of hours and turned to brown too so sounds very similar.

@hailseitan fingers crossed! I will keep my fingers crossed for you !!!

@wombats @Fox23 Thank you guys, I have everything crossed too.

@MarthaMe Ok this makes me feel slightly better. How many weeks are you? I'm glad your scare turned out to be ok, I'm hoping and praying mine will too.

I think I'm just going to stay in bed today. I'm too scared to move

hailseitan I bleed at 11 weeks, then again at about 16 for about 5 days each time. Always around the time my period should of been due. I’ve no idea why and the hospital weren’t too worried. They said it can be quiet normal 🤷🏼‍♀️ Try not to worry. If your baby is a wriggler, as there is more blood moving round your body it could of just moved to hard. Sometimes it can also be the placenta. xx

@hailseitan I'm 14 weeks

@Liverpool19 Wow that must have been awful. I'm glad it's nothing serious. I guess sometimes it is just one of those things, but I hate that they can't be explained though!

Also I didn't really think I had any pain or anything yesterday - nothing too serious, but I feel quite tender when I get up and walk about today. Did either of you feel like that @Liverpool19 @MarthaMe ? It's so hard not to read into every little thing and sorry about all the annoying questions!

I really messed that message up...

Hi everyone. Joining this thread now as am 12w today after FET in May. Have 12w scan tomorrow! Have already had a Harmony test which came back with low risk results. One thing I am uncertain about is stopping the Cyclogest and progynova. My clinic said to just stop at 12w but it feels a bit odd to suddenly stop cold turkey. Is this just what people do?

@1Wanda1 welcome! Congratulations on week 12! The answer to your question is yes- cold turkey! Felt wrong and wasn’t sure so asked my GP before week 12 and he said-yes, cold turkey will be just fine. My hospital at 12 week scan reassured me that nothing will go wrong 😊
Don’t worry, it will be ok, as long as you do what they say 😁