Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

Welcome @swimchick1980 and thanks for the info re NCT. I may not get on very well as I am fully signed up to having pain relief!!! But let's see how I feel after they have brainwashed me...

Haha!! I actually managed just with gas and air last time and had a water birth but was fullly signed up for pain relief if I needed it! One NCT friend wanted an at home water birth and had it all set up but had to have pain relief and give birth in hospital. Some had to have c sections. You just never know but be prepared to be told you are a bad person for even thinking about pain relief 😮

@Swimchick1980 hello! 😁 and welcome! Can I ask you and @Liverpool19 as both of you same as me have antherior placenta (mine is front and high) how are you both getting on with feeling your baby?
Until week 20-ish there was nothing! And I was told it’s normal with front placentas. So since then she has sort of kicked me on few occasions but not as much as it’s supposed to be. I’m now 24+3 and I was hoping for football match inside... nope. Maybe she is kicking but the placenta is absorbing the kicks?
xxx

Most of the movement I feel is a fluttery feeling inside. Can’t feel anything by putting my hand on my tummy yet but midwife said that was normal. I think from 24 weeks on the kicks will increase so I suspect you should start to feel more and more ⚽️ 😀

Morning girls, so I had a little think about the whole pain relief and NTC... when I say little think I mean- just how honest shall I be. I believe that nobody will judge me for having anaesthetic when tooth canal is being done, and although it’s not a baby, it’s still as natural process- pain relief or not. Then Why am I being frowned upon for wanting to be knocked out and having c section? I have 2 midwifes- primary and cover. The one that’s only covering openly asked me on my first visit what would I rather c section or natural (hmmm both are natural in my view) and that I should have a think. I did. Made tons of research. Spoke to lots of people. I then met my primary midwife and when I raised the c section subject (ps- she doesn’t have children) she said to me- unless it’s medically required all my patients give birth only vaginally!! Point closed. I was left speechless as according to my first midwife and nhs I have a choice.
Anyway now I’m considering what to do with midwife as her approach only cemented that I’m definitely going in ALL Knoced out below my neck regardless...
Don’t judge me, but I have gone through sooo much to get here (that can’t be considered exactly ....natural... right?) that wanting to finish it on pleasant note is what I want.
On very different note, @swimchic1980 as I was reading your answer last night she kicked me (nudge is more accurate) 😁😁💕

I think we should all just do whatever we want and feels right to us. You're right @Fox23 that we've all had plenty of intervention thus far!!!

I know in theory we have choice but I also know of lots of friends who have felt pressured to having a natural birth. I have had anxiety in the past and that, along with other things, puts me as high risk so I'm hoping I will get more choice as a result - but I'm not at all sure.

I feel like cack! I'm just so tired and it makes me feel sick and have headaches. I wake up in the night to go to the loo and feel so sick I have to eat. So then I'm awake for longer. I've already taken a day off this week but am struggling to get through even so. And have loads to do today :(

@Janefx40- I totally agree with you- there are so many pressures surrounding this process- we should be able to chose, and as such nhs and guidelines state we have choice (we may have to do counceling before hand... just to offer as full info and choices... as if we, smart, clever, educated and professional women can’t think for ourselves just because we are pregnant.
Yes, I will fight for my right to chose - regardless what I chose and those with “the only correct choice opinion” should go back to their “natural birth and breast only or you are a devil” cult.
I’m actually passionate about having a choice and not being judged- I won’t frown on you if you want to give birth surrounded by whale sounds in cave helped by fairies. But please don’t frown on me either.
Please, blame hormones for my fighter attitude this morning 🙄
I just had a toast with coleslaw (yes... that’s what I fancied) for breakfast and managed to catapult coleslaw across the living room towards my DH- still trying to figure out how I did it- must have been some twitch or pregnancy clumsiness... 😬
@Jane do you feel sick from headaches or morning sickness? Is there nothing doctors can do?

Hello swim ☺️

fox it was my friend who had the front facing placenta mines on my left side so I can’t really help!

Pain relief, if I need it I am taking what ever is available there is no shame In that I don’t think! I just going to go with the flow during labour and do what the midwife tells me is best I want him out in the quickest and safest way possible!

So, I’ve decided to get my plancenta turned into tablets, I know a few people who have done this and they said it helped with recovery after birth so I’m willing to give it a go 🙈 it’s £200 which sounds a lot but if it helps me then why not 😂
Xx

@Liverpool19 that’s such a cool idea! I’ve heard a lot of good stuff about it. Don’t think I wouldn’t be brave enough to do that!

A couple of my friends done it and said it’s worth while. The girl who does them is from Liverpoo, I’ve read up on it so many times and finally paid my deposit! She sends you a cool bag 6 weeks before then you text her when you are in labour (or get someone else to do it) then once you have the baby. They come and collect it and return to you within 48 hours!

X

@Liverpool19 I've heard of that but had forgotten about it. It's meant to be good. I will ask my friend who she used too. Good plan x

I’ve heard about that too so might look into it a bit more.

Fox - you should definitely choose what you want to do. One of my friends had a really tough birth with DC1 and insisted on a section for her other DC and she said it was the best decision. My DSis has a back to back birth and it took her a while to recover. I was very lucky and recovered quickly (no guarantee it will happen again!) and I would say I was in less pain than afterwards than those who had a section and was able to drive straight away, which helped me visit family etc. But I think I was one of the lucky ones! So due a horror labour this time no doubt

The company im using is called placenta plus. It looks like they travel to most places to get the placenta.

Oh girls let’s hope it’s a nice birth for all of us!

Thanks Liverpool - indeed!

🤞🤞🤞😊

I had my 12 week scan today (although I'm 13 weeks). Did anybody else burst out crying? I'm not usually a crier, but it has a huge effect on me.

Seeing baby was amazing!!

Had**

@hailseitan congratulations! First massive milestone 🌷🌷🌷it’s so natural to be overwhelmed when seeing the little baby and it’s so very beautiful 👶
Personally I didn’t cry during 12week scan as I had had 4 scans already before that so it wasn’t such a surprise but... during 20 week scan when I was told that I’m expecting little girl... I really struggled to keep it together 😁
I’m so happy for you 😊😊😊

@Fox23 Aww thank you! It was amazing. I think I'll be a complete wreck comes to the 20 week scan I just feel like I've waited so long for all this. Seems way too good to be true!

Btw did you have all the scary tests done? I had a blood test today to check for various things. I have no idea if it's common to do them all not, but I figured I would. Now I'm super nervous of the results!

@hailseitan yes, the scary tests... from what I understand they offer these tests to everybody but you have a choice. Some people would rather not know but we chose to know. We figured that regardless of the results we will have a chance to prepare- good or bad. For us it was good news, but I’m sorry to say this pregnancy journey never gets less stressful- every step, every scan every test and every day is panic filled... at least for me. So difficult to rely and enjoy
Xxx

Hi, mind if I join? I'm 21 weeks after our first FET and in need of a handhold this evening. Was feeling quite chilled and relieved after a normal anomaly scan but today somehow gone into panic mode again! Think I've bonded so much with baby already and feels so real that I'm now terrified of something going wrong and losing what is actually our baby (not just a foetus or sac or embryo if you see what I mean?) Been googling preterm birth statistics and late miscarriages today and had a proper sob to DH.
Can anyone else relate, or am I alone in feeling like a loon at this late stage? Xx

@wombats morning and welcome wombats! 🌷
I can totally relate to your anxiety and worries as I’m 24+6 and it feels that I’m somehow imagining this all and that it will just disappear.... horror stories don’t help, do they? I’ve managed to bad dr.Google, but then your colleagues decide to tell you stories that are awful and you just want them to shut up! (You can’t if you are their boss🙁)
Wombats, we are here for you, if you feel like writing down your anxieties, please do, sometimes it helps ☺️
Hope u got some sleep!
Xxx

Hi @wombats sorry you're feeling so stressed. I'm not as far along as you, only 14 weeks. But about 10 days after our 12 week scan I started panicking again. I've been sure something is wrong. I think I will panic all the way through. Maybe it would be the same if we'd got pregnant another way I don't know - but certainly with the IVF route it just feels like after so much disappointment, it's hard to let myself believe this could actually be ok. Sending lots of good thoughts. Ps I read some horrendous stories on google which I can't get out of my head! Am trying to stay away now

@hailseitan congrats on your scan. I found it amazing. I didn't realise it would be so detailed so was overwhelming. We had a harmony test so I already had my results before the 12 week scan - waiting for those results was one of the most scary bits yet. Thankfully all was ok. Hope all is good with yours and you don't have to wait too long x

Just found this thread and I think it's just what I need!
I'm 14 weeks pregnant following 5th ivf cycle and TTC for almost 20 years.
I'm so anxious about everything. I had an awful scare this week where I haemorrhaged and lay lots of blood & clots. Went to a&e but thankfully baby is ok! Was told it could happen again so I'm super anxious and praying everyday that my baby is ok.

I'd love to be able to relax and enjoy this precious longed for pregnancy!!

@MarthaMe welcome! Congratulations on 14 week mark! 💐
This is a great thread for me as well, but I’m sure other girls will agree , thanks to @Janefx40 for this thread ☺️
I can’t imag the stress you must have gone through recently- I really can’t! You are so brave to get through it! So glad your baby is ok!!!
I have been with my DH for 15 years and although we didn’t actually TTC we also didn’t do anything to prevent it. Two years ago we realised that if not Ivf we will never have kids together (I do have a grown up stepdaughter). So after one fresh cycle ending in ectopic and then this was my first FET I’m now 24+6. But I would like to echo @Janefx40 our pregnancies do feel more fragile. Probably all pregnant women feel like it, but somehow it feels that we are more aware of the hardships and miracle of getting thus far. I haven’t felt my little girl for a few days now and I’m absolutely panicking- as if pregnancy is not stressful enough I also have to allow for antherior placenta now...
I’m glad you have joined us 😊
Xxx