Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

Oh wow Fox that’s incredible, extra huge congratulations to you, not long to go now!!

I’m mostly doing ok thank you - had a hideous first trimester with lots of bleeding and trips to EPU, but it settled down around 12 weeks and no issues since. Little madam is breech/transverse at the moment so I’ve got a complete Frankenbump with bits sticking out everywhere, especially when she stretches 🤣. Hoping she turns soon!

I’m aware I’m prob being v over sensitive - I did think about counselling early on as I was really struggling with the whole concept of being pregnant, but have been much better since I’ve started feeling movement and we’ve got further into the pregnancy.

Still doesn’t feel real though! Hope you enjoyed your pizza - I’ve just done almost a full pack of Jaffa cakes

There is no way I’m ever eating another pizza.... god! I felt soooo heavy, immobile, stuffed etc etc- all night!! I’m switching to jelly’s for the next two weeks (ok, maybe not jelly’s, but definitely something lighter)

Maybe Jaffa cakes? Maybe matchmakers? Maybe lots of grapes?
Now, what should I have for breakfast...

@fox23 so what you are saying is enjoy the pizza while bump and baby are small enough to fit it in?!

@emalady exactly!!!!! 😂
I just had Greggs baguette for breakfast! Jelly for lunch for sure!

😂😂 loving all the food chat - so glad it’s not just me!! I would also be keen to hear anyone else’s strange dreams. Mine last night was that I somehow ended up becoming a member of a cult which I couldn’t escape from with my baby and that the baby’s Dad was Dave Coaches from Gavin and Stacey (who I am not attracted to at all)!!

@swimchick1980 I keep having panic dreams about miscarriage or husband leaving. I had a very vivid dream a while ago about getting a house rabbit which was very strange. I needed a wee last night but couldn't be bothered to get up and dreamed of car crashes until I got up.

@swimchick1980 I had steamy night with Henry Cavill (Superman) (who I didn’t pay much attention to, until after the dream! Now I find him very attractive! ) my DH thinks I’m very funny!
Dreams are funny and when pregnant - soooo vivid!

Oh and two nights ago I was dreaming about Royal babies- on loop- ALL night...

Nice. I mostly have stress dreams about the baby or DP leaving me. Last night I dreamt he proposed but I knew he didn't really want to marry me. Cheery!

Oh dear @emalady and @Janefx40 - stress and worry even when you’re sleeping!

@Fox23 - Henry Cahill is definitely a lot better than Dave Coaches - thankfully I didn’t dream about the conception and only the result! Maybe tonight it will be Jamie Dornan........

@swimchick1980 I had never seen Gavin &Stacy until your post. Now I’ve seen 5 episodes and it’s funny! And yes, I will agree that Henry Cavill is hotter than Dave 😂
Good luck with Jamie!
Today I’m 38 weeks!!!! Last full pregnancy week of only me and DH!

@fox23 that's so exciting! Hope you can enjoy it and everything goes well!

@janefx40 I'm glad someone else is having stress dreams too but hopefully we can both relax a bit and have some more pleasant dreams.

Did anyone else feel completely emotional during their pregnancy. I feel pretty down sometimes, and anxious. It could be my hormones because I used to feel like this when on the pill/ pmt. makes it’s harder to cope, and enjoy pregnancy.
Going to try and focus on things for the future/ baby. But it is hard when I get like this!

Hope everyone else is ok. I haven’t done too well at following the thread! Xx

Hi @Beherenow32 sometimes I do. I go through phases when I'm fluctuating between depressed and irritable and the phases when I'm ok. Actually when I have mood swings I also get occasional highs when I confuse everyone at work by laughing and chatting non stop!!! It will calm down hopefully x

beherenow I had a couple of weeks where I was really fed up and emotional but according to my friends they said that’s normal. Happened to them aswell.
These last couple of days I’ve been feeling really ill. Yesterday I vomited and had an upset stomach 🤮 x

Thank you. Sometimes it is quite hard to cope. Today I feel like I just want to cry. I’m focusing on negative things and it’s amplified. ☹️
On a positive my belly looks bigger today and can feel it stretching.
Lots of love to everyone x

@Beherenow32 it's not surprising. You have a ton of hormones buzzing around your body plus you have gone through a trauma to conceive in the first place plus you are overwhelmed with anxiety about the baby plus, however much our babies are wanted, it is a very life changing thing. I'm surprised any of us can get going at all in the morning.

Be nice to yourself and trust that the sadness will pass in time and is normal

X

@Beherenow32 I agree with other girls here. That’s why this thread is for us. We didn’t just wake up pregnant, for us getting here was years of pain and agony. We only saw one road mark- BFP.
Then we have to adjust all this anxiety to being and staying pregnant... and then actually being a parent. It’s very though and you are though, on down days, just let it be. Next day will be more positive 😊
I’m struggling with being very uncomfortable, feeling huge, and being able to do less and less. This last week is so long...
it’s our wedding anniversary today- 9 years of being Mrs 💕 and 9 months of being pregnant 🤰🏻
As my mobility is more and more restricted I have rediscovered PS4 to make time go faster!

fox I can’t believe your baby will be here so soon!! I’ve had Braxton-Hicks most days and today the cramps are back. He feels like he is pushing really low down today aswell 😬
Does anyone know when the Mucas “plug” tends to come out?

I feel numb rather than emotional. I don’t feel at all connected to the pregnancy. I’m convinced I’m going to lose it and I don’t want to tell anyone about it. I think this is a bit odd and worries me. But I’ve had 3 losses (admittedly all earlier on than I am now) but I just can’t feel any excitement or joy.

@Liverpool19 if your baby is pushing very low down, is it possible that your baby has dropped? When is your next mw appointment?
Regarding mucus plug... mine is still there, but there was this one girl in antenatal classes and hers is coming out in bits at 32w. M/w wasn’t concerned neither was hospital. From what I gather it’s not a sign of labour but your body getting ready. I suppose everyone is different.
Last night I thought my baby had dropped as pain below my belly was quite intense, and loo breaks only got more frequent... but then this morning everything is back to normal. My m/w said that during the day your body gets tired and that makes evenings more painful and uncomfortable. That’s why I’ve given up on daily chores...

fox i see my midwife next week. It was meant to be this week but she is away. I’m ok of a night. I just go a bit stiff underneath 🙈 the cramps have gone again now. Pregnancy is weird isn’t it 😂 I can literally do everything I still used to which I’m happy about 😂 I’m just not allowed to hoover the stairs according to my boyfriend and haven’t been since the day I found out 😂.
Just got my bloods back and they are still really low. Even after being on the tablets for a month 🤦🏼‍♀️
X

@Liverpool19 pregnancy is very weird, definitely. And I do like how our DP decide on what tasks we shouldn’t do 😊
I’m not allowed to lift anything (unless he is at work and I have to get shopping in), or clean cat litter box (unless he is at work) 😂😂😂
But yes, my biggest worry is missing the onset of labour signs! I mean? I’ve asked mw and antenatal group- how do contractions feel (just so I can tell contractions apart from what’s ache and pain and stab and cramp and pull and tug and.... all other pregnancy pains). NOBODY has been able to do that. I mean... if the first contractions are about 20min apart lasting only few min... there is NO WAY I will register that! I will just think it’s a cramp and forget about it.... and because of elective c section I can’t miss the early signs or it may be too late.
Talking of elective, we went to see my MIL over the weekend... I mean, she has been told not to even attempt to show up at hospital, but OMG- 1) she is refusing to accept that me, DH and baby need bonding time WITHOUT her 2) she has been there for every grandchild, you see, and why am I being so... difficult (My reply is referring back to nr.1) 3) who needs bonding? It’s not something in old days people used to do, and it’s pointless! (???) 4) am I too posh to push! (???!!!????)
On nr.4 I actually welled up, and my DH had to jump in... we left soon after...
I mean, what is wrong with people that are meant to be selfless because they are family!!!!! But somehow they want to make the biggest day of MY and DH life about... them?

OMG fox that’s so bad!! I told my MIL if she even turns up at the hospital I will not let her in. “I’ll wait in reception” no you won’t. I said we will ring you when we want you to come and that goes for my mum too. MIL was there for both of her other grandchildren she doesn’t need to be there for mine.
Too posh to push? Oh that is so rude!!!! I’d of left aswell if she said that to me.
I don’t know who people think they are at times. I might not want to see anyone for a few hours after I’ve just given birth. Doesn’t matter who they are!

@Fox23 I can't believe your MIL!! What a cheek! Don't tell her the date...or have you already?

@Beherenow32 I didn't want to tell people either so I don't think that is weird. All the way through TTC and IVF I dreamt of the day when I would tell people then I got pregnant and as the pregnancy progressed I didn't want to tell anyone at all. I hated that so many people knew (hard to hide at work as I was huge).

Feeling detached is a totally natural way of coping with a trauma...and you've been through an awful lot of that.

Try not to worry about how you feel. You feel however you feel. There's no right way. Detached or obsessed or anxious or calm. It's all fine (and none of it will affect the pregnancy)

Xxx