Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

@Blondienut not sure what is considered “normal” amount of scans but mine After week 20 were every 8th week (lately it’s every 4th).
Fingers crossed about your scan! You are right about scans being so worrying yet assuring. 🤞🤞🤞

@Blondienut after I was discharged from the ivf clinic with a 7 week scan I have had no extra scans but did have to have a consultant appointment at 22 weeks, I'm going to have a scan at 33 weeks now but think that's weight and meds more than ivf.

blondienut the only extra scans are the ones I’ve paid for. After the ivf clinic scanned me at 8 weeks I was discharged. Every hospital is different I think so you are best checking with yours. X

@Blondienut, good luck next week. It seems to vary between different areas but I have had more, yes. The build up is so worrying but it’s such a wonderful relief when you get here the words “everything looks normal”.

It's so strange how very different different areas are. You would think there would be some consistency.

Yes, indeed! My clinic who did Ivf discharged me at 7 weeks, then my GP referred me to my hospital, who after initial appointment sent me appointments for the whole pregnancy. It’s very possible that I had so many appointments because of a)my age b) Ivf and c) I had ectopic last October

@Blondienut same as others I think it depends on area. I just moved and in my first area, IVF is considered a risk so extra scans whereas in my new area it isn't.

I'm over 40 anyway and have a few other bits and bobs so I get them anyway tho. So I had 20 weeks then due to have 28 weeks then every 4 weeks after that.

Re inductions, I am planning to let them induce me at 40 weeks with possibly a sweep before but not earlier. I would prefer to go into labour naturally if poss.

My friends who have had planned c sections also got their dates really late so I think that's normal. Also @Fox23 one of them was your area and they switched the hospital too at some point. But it wasn't problematic.

I think my friend is giving me a sleepyhead - she's definitely giving me something that mimics the womb shape in the cot.

We have 3 names. One I prefer, one DP prefers and one we both like but it is a bit unusual and I'm not sure because I don't want her to hate her name.

We have the bigger problem of choosing a surname!

Xxx

@Janefx40 did your friend switch hospital because of c section? I have my consultation on Tuesday, so I’m freaking out! I have 4 weeks max to go. If I get elective then 3... 3!!!!!

Well there were two of them at the same hospital but actually even tho one lived in your borough, she had chosen to go to UCLH so probably different. Sorry if that worried you unnecessarily!

Although they both were at UCLH, they were booked for Whittington (must be same group) and then both were switched back to UCLH. Dates didn't change tho.

X

Hello. Can i join? Just had scan at 12+2 following 4th ivf. Had an awful pregnancy so far with bleeds and hyperemesis. In fact I’m having fluids at the moment. Feeling pretty sorry for myself.

I'm back from my trip!! I was eventful to say the least but the future bride was happy so yeah!!! Also I managed to have the time to catch a gastroenteritis and had to go to the A&E early on a Sunday... Never a dull moment with pregnancy!!
I had my 16 weeks midwife appointment this morning. Everything is fine. My white cells are high but no idea what it means... She struggled to find a heartbeat with her doppler (i was starting to imagine the worse... of course) and had to get the scan machine to find that baby was hiding but was perfectly fine..... I really wish I could feel him/her now so I can breath a little! Soon I hope!!!

@Beherenow32 YEAH!!! A GIRL!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!

@emalady @Fox23 @Liverpool19 I wasn't planning to do a lot before at least 25 weeks but reading your comments make me re-evaluate my position. I'm waiting for the 20th scan and probably will take DP to the shops afterwards... So many things to think about!!! thanks you!

@Liverpool19 I'm sorry they made it difficult for you for your scan. Hopefully you will have your answers soon.

@Blondienut Same as the others. I'm not consider as high risk despite IVF. I had few scans with my fertility clinic, then a scare that sent me to the EPAU and the 12 weeks scan at the ante-natal. Next and last one will be at 20weeks if no problem shows up.

@beanhunter Welcome!!!! I had 3 IVF round myself and I have to say, the worry is still there at 16 weeks.. Fluids can be a lot of things. I have a lot of discharges, watery discharges and blood but baby is always perfectly fine. Have you had your 12 weeks scan yet?

On another note, I'm loving all the talks about baby names! We are still waiting as our journey is still a bit long, but I found that so exciting!!! So real!! ;)

I meant fluids as in having a drip because of dehydration. Scan was today.

@beanhunter Oh!!! So sorry... my brain isn't fully there tonight. I'm sorry it hasn't been easy so far. Hopefully it will get a bit easier in the next few weeks. If you need to complain and/or feel sorry for yourself, this is the right place! We've been there (I still am!)!

@beanhunter welcome. Sorry things have been tough. My best friend gets hyperemesis so I know second hand how hellish it is. And with the bleeding too it sounds stressful.

It is hard relaxing after IVF or infertility. It does get better as things progress but I'll always have a level of anxiety I think.

Xxx

@beanhunter are you home again now? Hope you are feeling a bit better.
@Street80 I'm 22 weeks now. Might be a bit early but spreading the cost is helpful and I'm happy we have plenty of time to do things especially while I'm not too massive. I think the fact we are having the kitchen replaced and planning for Christmas has made us start getting sorted earlier. I do worry about having all these bits if it all goes wrong though.

@emalady and @Street80 I started at 20 weeks. My logic was- I work every second Saturday, that means we gave only 10 weekends. But last month I will be useless, that leaves 8. Then, I will not want to do decorating every weekend I’m at home... that leaves 5... and that’s a tight schedule. I’m glad we did started when we did, as I can’t move anymore.
Another thing ... I read that hair during pregnancy get thicker. I thought it was rubbish until about three weeks ago... I lose about 5 hair during shower, and NOTHING comes out when I brush my hair! Amazing!!!! 😁😁😁😁

@Tigerlily99

Hi everyone, hope you don’t mind if I join? Am 12+4 weeks today post FET in July. Stopped all my meds last week (yay!). Haven’t had my 12 week scan yet as am on a long holiday but all seemed ok at last scan @ 10 weeks and recently had our panorama results back where all low risk. We are having a little girl 💗. Recognize lots of names here from the IVF boards. Really glad to hear you are all doing so well! X

Hi tigerlily. We are on identical dates!
Feel like I’m the only person who didn’t have harmony/panorama.

Hi everyone, hope you don't mind me joining this thread. I'm 32 years old and 13+2 today, having got a BFP on my third cycle of Clomid after having been trying for over 2 years and starting to face up to the possibility that it might not be going to happen for us 'naturally (I have PCOS). It's really nice to find this sort of thread as I think those of us who struggled to get to this point (though I appreciate many of you have gone through a lot more than me) have a slightly different perspective! Had my dating scan at the beginning of last week and all was fine but then had some bleeding a couple of days later (thankfully all was fine but it was scary). I hadn't quite realised that being pregnant would be just as much of an emotional rollercoaster as when we were trying!

Welcome @Tigerlily99 and congrats on having a girl!!

Welcome @clared55 and congrats. Glad the bleed turned out to be nothing serious. Yes I know what you mean about the rollercoaster. All I thought about before was being pregnant but I'm not sure I realised the anxiety would be as bad on this side. Like a very very long 2WW! It does get better, gradually, but I'm not sure it ever quite goes away

X

Hi tigerlily clared and beanhunter congratulations!! beanhunter I didn’t have any tests either and none when I had my scan, if they found something I didn’t want to have the additional stress of it all the way through my pregnancy. If there is something wrong I will deal with it when it the time comes.
clared I had a bleed at 11 weeks and 16 weeks I’m 32 weeks now. it was worrying but they don’t know why I had one 🤷🏼‍♀️
Have my consultant appointment this week about being inducded or elective C section. I will be stamping my feet until he scans me as I am getting no where fast with the hospital.
Hope everyone is well. X

@Liverpool19 good luck at your hospital appointment appointment!!!! What day is it?
Be persistent and get all the answers you need! 🤞
When I had my 32 week scan I was told that nothing will be decided until the next scan (36 week scan- on Tuesday)
I will be as persistent as humanly possible to get my elective c section. That’s what I have decided I want and anything else will just be unfair compromise.

Thanks fox it’s tuesday or Wednesday. I need to check!
This whole low lying placenta that I possibly have is causing a massive issue. The hospital won’t scan me as “it’s not their problem” because I didn’t have my scan there and paid private!! So my midwife has told me to tell the consultant and he should scan me. I want a c section if I’m honest. I want to know when he is coming! But with the hospital telling me it’s not their problem what I was told at my private scan I have no faith that they have my best interests. So I will be telling the consultant that too.

@Liverpool19 you do know that NICE guidelines state you can have c section if you want to? The only problem is that not all hospitals follow their guidelines (NHS website state that women have right to choose). But if your Obstetrician say no, you have rights to demand one who will perform c section. In my case I’m already 36 weeks so no time left considering c section is always scheduled week before the due date.
You still have time To get exactly what you want. Fingers cross and threaten them with neglect if they ignore serious health condition - low placenta. Especially if that hinders natural birth. You know emergency c sections are high risk, planned are low. 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
Wish you all the best!
I’m so stressed over my consultation... my hospital apparently follow guidelines but you never know who I will get on Tuesday.