Pregnancy 12 week + post IVF/infertility - general chat and support

[Janefx40]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us pregnant post IVF/infertility. There are lots of pregnancy clubs on Mumsnet but it feels like a slightly different experience having got here the hard way!

I've put 12 weeks + because there is another group for women who have just got their BFPs. That is such an anxious time and definitely needs support.

But I thought this group might pick us up a little further along - over the first panic but still learning about the experience.

Not being exclusive tho - if you think this is the group for you, come along in...

So come and join us if you would like to xxx

I haven’t even thought about the bag yet I need to start washing aswell. Thinking I’ve got all the time in the world when I haven’t 😂
I have all the big things, pram, next to me, Moses basket, car seats, bottles/steriliser. Bottle prep machine (I’m not breastfeeding) and lots more. Who’d of thought a tiny person needed so much 😂😂

@Liverpool19 I know! Totally! It’s more stuff than I have! When you read the lists on internet “what babies need” -you do need almost all of it!
I decided that I will not get next to me. I will have her in Moses basket and then around 4-6mohth mark, straight to cot, along with apparently the best thing since sliced bread- Sleepyhead!!! 🤞

fox I’m really undecided on the sleepy head. I’d love one but don’t want him to get used to it 😂 the Moses basket is for downstairs during the day I have a bouncer too but good to have a change. (Well that’s what I told my boyfriend when he asked why I wanted all of them) 😂😂

@Liverpool19 that’s so funny! 😂😂😂
I was the same about the sleepyhead. Then I heard from friends that after sleepless nights and zombie like state, sleepyhead is a life saver. Then, my stepdaughter said she had one she could give us (yes... I’m step-grandma) soooo didn’t have to buy one!

Oh that’s brilliant fox then at least if she doesn’t like it you’ve not wasted your money! Suppose I still have time to make my mind up about one! X

I feel the same about the sleepyhead, maybe those of you a bit further along will let us know if it's worth it?! We have a crib, cot and changing table /drawers and paint for the nursery still in its tin. Need to look at car seats, push chairs and all that. With Christmas coming up it may get expensive. Hopefully we can get something in sales!

Wow. We have literally nothing other than some baby grows that have been given to us.

What is a sleepyhead?

X

All the furniture was being sold very cheap by a friend of a friend so made sense not to buy it new, planned to paint before we picked it all up but ran out of time so it's back to being a bit of a storage space at the moment.

@Janefx40 I’m the words of my stepdaughter- Sleepyhead is a “magic”!
It’s actually like oval shaped nest where baby sleeps inside. And it costs approximately £140!!!!
But even if I didn’t have one given to me, I think I would bought it anyway.
@emalady that’s great! Why would you need new furniture if you can have it lot cheaper from your friend!
Furniture wise I only bought cot bed from Amazon. The rest is either hand me downs or adapted furniture. Like IKEA shelves we were gonna throw is now baby changing table- with added top shelf to make it wider and high sided changing matt.

I must be mad, we have literally bought everything new. It was all in the sale to be honest. The pram was in a bundle from silver cross and was an absolute bargain. We don’t have nursery furniture yet as we are waiting until we are in the new house so we can decorate it and get it all put up fresh. X

I think car seat /travel system will definitely need to be bought new as you don't know what has happened to it but anything else we can get a bit cheaper is all good. Especially as I would really like to redecorate the hall but only if we can afford it after the kitchen and nursery.

I had my consultant appointment yesterday. They have said that I don't have to be induced but they would if I want. Will discuss it again at 33 weeks. Might decide to go in for induction on my due date. How many of you are going for induction?

Hi everyone, hope you’re well. Loving all the baby chat. I had wondered about that sleepyhead thing too - what is it for? Sleeping during the day, I assume not at night? My top tip for people using Moses baskets who have an upstairs and downstairs is to get 2 stands! When DC1 was a baby, I used to do a feed in the evening and then go for a sleep upstairs while DH had DC1 downstairs. He would then just carry the Moses basket upstairs when he went to bed and pop it on the stand upstairs. I haven’t packed a hospital bag or anything yet and probably should soon!

emalady, I am not sure yet. I may need a section as baby breach. If not, they said they can start to try and move things along at 38 weeks, like do a sweep etc. I’ll definitely do that but if it doesn’t work and they tell me induction is safer than going over my due date, i’ll do that. I have another scan in a couple of weeks so fingers crossed!

@swimchick1980 I’m planning to use Sleepyhead for daytime. I live in a flat, so all is one level. But nursery is much closer to living room and kitchen. So my plan is to keep her in the cot in the Sleepyhead during the day... I’m sure my plan will have to be approved by my new baby and they usually have their own ideas 😂😂😂
@emalady I’m surprised that they said they can discuss induction as early as 33 weeks. I mean that’s great! I want to discuss elective c section, but they said they will discuss it on my 36week visit. It just feels like too close to the time. Consider elective c section usually happens week before due date.
If I get rejected for c section (I will be kicking back as much as I can) I will definitely go for induction. The thing is- I hate the idea of not knowing when and how etc etc. So bring induced at least will give me some stability. Hope it doesn’t sound selfish but I’m here for a baby not experience of waters breaking in the supermarket or having contractions on the bus.
On a positive note I have my midwife appointment today and Ultrasound and obstetric appointment next Tuesday- my 36th week appointment!!!!!! Scared 😧

@fox23 I'm assuming as it's after my GTT they will just have a bit more info to decide if I should have induction and consider when. At the moment if all else is OK I would be keen for induction around 40 weeks. I do quite like the idea of being able to plan a bit more for dates etc though she may still come early. Good luck with your discussions about elective section. 36 weeks! That's very exciting, not too long left!!

@Liverpool19 did you find out about that rubbing feeling in your privates? I’m only asking because my midwife today described exactly that feeling when baby drops.
Mine hasn’t yet, so no idea what it feels like.

Hope your appointments went well today @Fox23. Ah, so the Sleepyhead goes in a cot - is it to make them feel cosy in the cot? You’ll need to let us know how it goes and if it’s worth a purchase. Hope the c section discussion goes well next week .

Hope everyone else is doing well this week. Time does seem to be flying!!

Has everyone decided names - you don’t need to reveal obviously, but just wondered. We are struggling and need to have a proper sit down to discuss. I also need to pack my hospital bag, feeling very disorganised but I am disorganised by nature so not worried

@swimchick1980 Sleepyhead can go anywhere, on the sofa, floor bed or cot, but yes the idea is that they feel verryyyyy cosy.
Regarding the name, yes, we decided already. Because I’m not originally from England the name had to be international, but we really wanted traditional name. And somehow we just both decided on the same names, so easy and painless, but I guess we were just lucky in liking the same 😊
We gave first initials to my MIL and stepdaughter and they guessed on third attempt. Then I asked my parents and brother- and they guessed with only two attempts! I suppose our aim for international and traditional was spot on 😆😆😆
What about you?

fox no I never found out what it was 🤷🏼‍♀️ My midwife said it could just happen because muscles are more relaxed. But my mum said I looked a lot lower than usual the other day 😬
emalady yes I want to be induced or elective c section. I’m still waiting for my scan to be sorted because of the potential low placenta. My hospital is refusing to scan me as they carried out the scan that noticed it and have just gone off my 20 weeks scan they have on their system.
I am seeing the consultant next week to discuss being induced and my midwife said he’s really good and will scan me. If not I’m taking myself to hospital and demanded to be seen.
On the name front we have half agreed,y two favourite are firm “nos” the one we’ve half agreed is lovely but I’m still unsure. It’s just nice and normal and can’t be shortened 😂😂

*as they never carried out the scan that noticed it.

Also meant to add I have got a massive pile of baby washing to be started tomorrow. Hope this counts as part of my “working from home” 😂

@Liverpool19 yes, it counts as working from home 😂😂😂
When I did mine it brought tears to my eyes... seeing teenie tiny outfits drying. My DH keeps saying baby is not a toy. I don’t believe him 😉

@liverpool19 that's just silly, if you have seen a low placenta it shouldn't matter who scanned you. The politics is mad. Hope the consultant appointment is ok and they do rescan you / discuss risks and plan.
@swimchick1980 we have a name decided and a couple of back ups incase she doesn't seem right for the first choice. Probably a bit early but we agreed quickly and seem pretty settled.

Hello ladies,

Glad to find this thread again. I'm having a freak out about my upcoming 20 week scan next week. I have previously had a Tfmr for a fatal abnormality that was picked up at my 12 week scan. So I'm relieved to be at this stage with a normal scan at 14 weeks but just feel sick at thought of big scan next week. I'm Totally scan phobic but in the same breath love the reassurance of them. I read some places that if you have ivf you get more scans after 20 week scan- is this correct?