it is not impossible that i have completed fk'd up...htf do i break the news to dp

[MrsSausage]

OBVIOUSLY I have changed my name.

We have 2 kids. Dp does not want more. Our second child in particular was a bloody hard baby.

I don't especially want more

dp really really really doesn't want any more.

period has not arrived today.

Very very faint line on all the seven tests I have done so far.

crappola. PLEASE be nice, don't tell me I am a fool and an eegit.

I had plans for my life, I am not THAT young and I need to get on with them if I am to Make Something Of Myself.

Crap.

it happens to the best of us doesnt it

I have no advice I think you will both have to take a view on what the right thing is for you

all the best

I'm sorry that this is (or might be) happening to you. But why do you think it is your 'fault' alone? Is it not just an accident? (Sorry, I know some people don't like using that word in conjunction with pregnancies.)

Oh, don't blame yourself. If your DP REALLY REALLY didn't want any more children he could have had a vasectomy. Accidents do happen otherwise. My last child wasn't planned, and I felt the same as you. However I got used to the idea after the initial shock wore off, and of course once they come you are glad they did. Give yourself time.

Break it to your DP ASAP, don't shoulder the worry alone, its not fair.

It takes two to have fucked up

You are going to have to bite the bullet and tell him.

Good luck!

oh god no its not my fault alone

its just that i fear that this will utterly destroy dp

he doesn't want more. he REALLY doesn't. He is a really fantastic father but...

I can't bear to go back to nappies.

I am pro abortion, I have marched for the rights of others to have abortions, etc etc. BUT I couldn't do it myself.

He could completely surprise you (I seem to recall a similar worried woman on here and her husband was fine and very very supportive, despite all her worrying)

dp was about to have a sodding vascctomy.

oh the irony

am peeing on stick after stick hoping the next one will be negative

look, if you were using contraception and it failed, that happens

if you took a chance, and now you are pregnant, that happens too

you need to decide what to do , i think it is safe to assume with a no show AF and 7 positive tests, you are pregnant

you do not have to carry on with this pregnancy

can you talk to DH ?

You say you f*cked up? In what way? Do you think that you were not careful?

It takes two to tango so you shouldn't feel bad!

x post

don;t know what to say

is a baby wholly incompatible with your plans?

ok at some point presumable either contraception failed - or you had unprotected sex.
Unles you have been deliberately not taking the pill, then both of these scenarios make you equally not to blame

Tell him, if you both are not wanting more then you go from there, see how you feel about all your options and get into it together.

Over a glass of wine

i shall have to talk to him

i shall

this is going to make him cry. i just want to protect him, i suppose.

jesus its odd being incognito.

You don't need to protect him
he is equally culpable!

(unless the milkman was involved

you can cry together! or rejoice ! either way, you will work through it

ah what happened? okay. we were using contraception but ALSO timing stuff around my cycle. We really were trying to avoid more kids. this really shouldn't have been possible

God us women. Always protecting everyone and shouldering all the stress and worry.

What about you, you poor thing? You are the one having to do the pregnancy/birth bit.

Just tell him. xx

You have to sit down and talk to your DP I'm afraid and decide what you want to do. You have options, but unless you sit down and work it through you aren't going to know which ones are right for you.

For what it's worth, my friend is in a similar position. She's just found out she's pg with her fourth, 5 years after her DP had a vasectomy. She's still in shock two weeks after finding out. It'll take time to process.

Have to say though.....seven positive tests? You're a hard one to convince!

i'll have it

milkman very ugly

postman might be a different matter

I just don't want to hurt him. i know what i have to do, though i did consider waiting a few weeks...but no that would be Wrong.

Why wait a few weeks? Do you think he'll pressurise you into a termination?

petreonella, i am sorry

i do feel BLOODY bad starting this thread tbh. I know several people who would love another baby. or ONE baby. but i have two, and it was hard hard hard. And it will be a similar gap again as before (hoping that doesn't out me) just with THREE, all under 4.5

Oh I know
sorry that was a silly thing to post

It's just dh was saying last night how much he wants antoher (he has even agreed to do the first 6 months, the bit I don't like!)

no he won't pressure me into anything. he's really really lovely. he won't blame me either. He is a New Man.

i suppose a part of me is thinking it might all go away (well the lines are VERY faint). I KNOW thats awful but...

Well, if it did go away you would presumably still need some emotional support, so I think you should just tell him
Not the sort of thing you can keep from someone really. Also when confronted with it he may change his mind.

god you are all lovely

i am just freaking at having 3 this young.

i found out at about 1.30

This is the FIRST TIME I have sat down since finding out

and its only cos the dcs are in the bath (don't worry, I can see them)