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Original poster

it is not impossible that i have completed fk'd up...htf do i break the news to dp

303 replies

MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 16:32

OBVIOUSLY I have changed my name.

We have 2 kids. Dp does not want more. Our second child in particular was a bloody hard baby.

I don't especially want more

dp really really really doesn't want any more.

period has not arrived today.

Very very faint line on all the seven tests I have done so far.

crappola. PLEASE be nice, don't tell me I am a fool and an eegit.

I had plans for my life, I am not THAT young and I need to get on with them if I am to Make Something Of Myself.

Crap.

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ThomCat · 24/05/2007 13:20

Filly, just seen this.

I had the exact same thing. DP was adament, and I mean adament that he didn't want 3, I didn't want to rulke it out. I fell pregnant. DP wsa gutted and said there was no way we could have the baby, just not an option, subject closed. I gave him a couple of days. Didn't say a word, was just very quiet around the house but not in a sulkjyu way. Then he came home with fish n chips and I couldn't swallow them. I was choking back the tears. He just looked at me and said 'you really want this baby don't you'. We chatted and I told him how scared I was but that I would always,a lways regrert NOT having this baby but I knew I would never, could never regret havig it. With that he knew he couldn't disagree and I've just had my 20 week scan.

I never ever thought DP would come round but he did and it shocked the life out of me and I was so utterly relieved!

How are things for you now?

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 14:30

ta tc and doggie and EVERYONE

tulips-yes, he is not delighted but he is getting there

i think my tale is similar to tc's

he knows its what I want - or that anything else is what i don't want, IYSWIM

am at how common this is, really.

how are you doing?

mother2b · 24/05/2007 14:51

im sorry, i dont mean to be insensitive, i hope im not being too bad, but maybe it would be an idea to get your man 'fixed'
i do really feel for you, i hope you make the best decision that suits you and you will be able to cope with the best.
Take care or your self and (i know its not easy) try not to stress yourself out!

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 15:42

Filly, I too started a thread so similar to your under a different name - I was ButterfliesinStomach. I too had loads of supportive posts, mainly from women who had been in my exact situationa nd I too was shocked but comforted. It really helped me and got me through a rough couple of days.

I can't tell you how adament DP was we weren't having this baby!

And now, while DP isn't running round painting rooms and gushing about another baby he has come round to the idea more than I ever believed possible.

I'm still giving him space and not asking him to choose names etc yet. But at the 20 week scan the other day he was very into it all and grinning from ear to ear. Confronted with your actual child and not just imagining the horrors of 3 mad kids is so different.

We have a DD with Sn's and DD2 is only 17 months so he has every right to be a buit worried about stuff but we both know that it'll all be ok and we'll cope.

He even asked to take pics of the bump and keep a pregnancy diary! He never did that with the other 2 babies!

I don't expect him to be skipping round the house with delight over this (that's for me!) but he's totally acceptd it and once the baby is here and over it's very new born stage he's going to be a wonderful dad to this baby as he is to his other two.

So - CONGRATULATIONS You crack on and enjoy this pregnancy and look forward to it all and let DP just do his thing in his way.

TC xxxxxxxxx

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 15:43

PS mother2b - I'm making DP get himself fixed after this baby no 3 is safely here.

Tatties · 24/05/2007 15:52

Oh Filly congratulations! Sure everything will work out fine

cupcakes · 24/05/2007 18:25

congratulations Thomcat - what a fantastic post.

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 19:01

"im sorry, i dont mean to be insensitive, i hope im not being too bad, but maybe it would be an idea to get your man 'fixed' "

oh lol

theres the irony. He was about to be.

aaargh.

tc thanks, and ta also tatties.

am getting used to idea and have gotten over big stumbling block which is The Car. Enid has helpfully suggested that dp should sort it out. I think he'll enjoy that.

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 19:02

little sooooooooooocks

little toooooooooes in little soooooooooocks

mmmmmmmmmmmm

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 19:07

my babies wear sleepsuits til they are about 18 months-ALL THE TIME

It may be a NSC thing. I think ds MAY have had a few pairs of socks

Hassled · 24/05/2007 19:08

If it helps at all, No 3 (a big shock - very unplanned and 9 years after DC2)) was so much easier than No 1 and 2, and DC4 was easier still - basically because I felt I knew what I was doing, was vaguely competent in my parenting and didn't PANIC. The younger 2 have been a comparative doddle - placid babies who I've just enjoyed, rather than fretted about. Congratulations .

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 19:17

little toooooooooes

in little sleepsuuuuuuuuits

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 19:19

oh yes

looking at socks

thats the way to go

hunkermunker · 24/05/2007 19:20

NSC?

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 19:21

neglected subsequent child

am struggling to think of cute items of baby apparel

knitted things...oooh yes, knitted things with ears

hunkermunker · 24/05/2007 19:22

Ah!

I've got one of those.

Tatties · 24/05/2007 19:27

This is no practical help whatsoever, but if I was in a similar situation, no matter how hard I thought it was going to be, and no matter how much I thought it would shake up my plans for the future; I think to get through it I would just have to accept that it was meant to be. I am a bit of a believer in things happening for a reason (well it helps me accept certain things anyway...)
Really wish you all the best Filly

cupcakes · 24/05/2007 19:27

I am very keen at looking at these pretty baby things - especially the blankets

FioFio · 24/05/2007 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 19:34

oh YES i like those.

but do feel they look a bit...odd with babygrows

i might just knit a bunch of socks. I have some debbie bliss cashermino

I don't think things happen for a reason exactly, but I think I have a limited right to change what is happening, esp where someone else is concerned. I find this all very difficult to articule. I don't believe in divine power but I am curious as to where things go, and i do feel that whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

cupcakes · 24/05/2007 20:04

yes, forgot about the sleepsuits.

debbie bliss wool casghmere stuff is LOVELY. I can't knit but my lovely friend kniited dd2 a hat asnd gloves in it.

saorry for typos. am holding dd2.

WideWebWitch · 24/05/2007 20:05

Congratulations fillyjonk.

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 20:43

Well it has happened, what the reason is we shall probably never know

I agree with Tatties, this is the universe's last ditch hijack just before you and dp were able to close that door forever

gothicmama · 24/05/2007 20:54

filly you can still study with a baby it just takes alittle bit of organisation and a serious lack of social life but it can be done. I had DS in 2nd year at uni and once I knew everything else just seemed to fit in place (well obv not that easily ) but it can be done congrats

Tatties · 24/05/2007 20:59

And again, no practical help, but trying to see things positively: your dp was about to get the snip. That would mean absolutely no more babies (which I know is what you wanted). Now you are being given an opportunity which would (likely) never have presented itself again...

Not saying it's divine power, but it's one last chance at having another baby