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Original poster

it is not impossible that i have completed fk'd up...htf do i break the news to dp

303 replies

MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 16:32

OBVIOUSLY I have changed my name.

We have 2 kids. Dp does not want more. Our second child in particular was a bloody hard baby.

I don't especially want more

dp really really really doesn't want any more.

period has not arrived today.

Very very faint line on all the seven tests I have done so far.

crappola. PLEASE be nice, don't tell me I am a fool and an eegit.

I had plans for my life, I am not THAT young and I need to get on with them if I am to Make Something Of Myself.

Crap.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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fireflyfairy2 · 22/05/2007 18:35

Go talk to him, tell him you love him, let him cry.

It will all work out

Hopeitwontbebig · 22/05/2007 18:36

MrsSausage. You sound SO unbelievably stressed you poor thing. My DH was ADAMANT he didn't want any more children, to the point where it almost ended our marriage a few years ago. To cut a long story short, I told him I was coming off the pill (health reasons) and a couple of weeks later we had a very drunken night's passion, the next morning I realised what we'd done and that I'd forgotten I was unprotected and it was bang in the middle of my cycle. My DS1 was conceived in 1st month, and so was DS2. I was absolutely terrified that my DH would think that I had done it on purpose, I thought it would be the end of us if I did end up pregnant. I had got myself worked up into such a state that when I admitted my (our) error he was relieved (by the way I was behaving he thought I was going to tell him I was dying or something) and totally ok about the prospect of a potential pregnancy.

The very long winded point I'm trying to make here is that you may be utterly surprised by your DH's reaction and I think that you really need his support whilst you are going through this. Surely he will be able to tell something is up, he may start to feel really worried about you.

I hope that helps. Sorry it was so long

LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 18:38

I might be completely wrong and it doesn't matter who you are at all - am sorry I mentioned it - please don't be uncomfortable posting. Sorry.

nykate · 22/05/2007 18:39

((Hugs)) to you! I also recently found myself pg with #3 (DD1 will be 3yrs9mos and DD2 will be 21months when baby is born and was really worried about DH's reaction. He was fantastic! Never batted an eye, despite the fact that we now have to move, can't really afford it, and have barely had a good night's sleep in 3 years! He said he knew we'd end up having 3 (he didn't want more, I did) and better to get it over with now. So, he's happy and pouring over the name books, and I cried and spent weeks in denial. Go figure! Good luck to you! I hope you both work through it together

Original poster
MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 18:40

yes i think it would hurt him for me not to tell him

oh CRAP

he is downstairs with kids, they are singing away, they are HAPPY

clara no, you've got wrong mnetter, sorry. Look, NO ONE is going to guess, unless i make it blindingly obvious.

are you hunker btw? have seen your profile before with dif name i think

OP posts:
LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 18:42

Yes, am Hunker. In a feminist trucker disguise.

They'll all be happy again. You're thinking of a baby being added to the family with them all at the ages they are now, I bet - they'll be older, the youngest will be more independent, the oldest will be able to help, etc, etc.

Honestly, it'll be fine.

Original poster
MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 18:43

pmsl at long distance trucker

that fretting over this rather than being a trucker

OP posts:
LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 18:44

Look, we'll have a hot cup of tea from my Thermos. Howzat?

Original poster
MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 18:45

ah yes

have trans fat free hobnobs, will that be of use at all?

OP posts:
LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 18:47

Lovely, thank you.

FoghornLeghorn · 22/05/2007 18:49

Good Luck Mrs S - sure everything will be absolutely fine but can totally sympathise with how terrified you must be feeling now.
Bite the bullet, go downstairs, send DC's up to play in bedrooms and tell him - get it over and done with.

........extremely easy for me to say of course

fannyannie · 22/05/2007 18:54

I agree better to get it 'over and done with' now the longer you wait the harder it will be at the end of the day there's 3 intial reactions he could have

  1. WOW - not planned but how exciting
  1. Oh sh*t what are we going to do
  1. Something in between.

WHATEVER the response is now don't despair - as I mentioned in a previous posting it took my dad until I was born to accept I was going to 'be' (he only wanted 1 child, my mum had the coil fitted 6 weeks later she was pg ) and since the day I was born I've been his 'favourite' of the two of us siblings. And of course not to forget my DH who is now totally chilled out about it - despite thinking to start with (he may still do but hasn't mentioned it for ages) that I didn't actually take the MAP and that I 'planned' the whole thing.

unknownrebelbang · 22/05/2007 19:01

I feel for you.

We had three under 4, number three a complete surprise, and DS2 had been difficult because of feeding problems, and I really didn't know what to do, as I also had health problems when pg.

DH was a little shocked but wonderful.

DS3 was a doddle, comparatively speaking, and nine years later family life is great.

NAB3 · 22/05/2007 19:03

Okay. This is what I think you should do. Get the children to bed, cuddle up on the sofa and tell him there is something you have to tell him, it isn't 100% either way but it is a joint issue. Deep breath and "there is a possibility that I might be pregnant."
Take it from there and good luck. Do it tonight. Why miss out on support and why deny him the excitement any longer?

SenoraPostrophe · 22/05/2007 19:08

I know those third baby mixed feelings. and my second was a difficult baby too.

But we got used to the idea, and ds2 is a doddle compared to ds1. dd was a firstborn, ds1 was a pain and so we never really had the chance to enjoy either of them. ds2 is hilarious - one big bundle of entertainment. I love having 3. And I think, sometimes, just a little bit, so does dh.

Original poster
MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 19:12

"get the children to bed"

oh dear

ROFL

well, in a nutshell, there is much of the problem with having a no3

no i will have to tell him. i will, won't i?

OP posts:
LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 19:13

LOL MrsS, that's the problem round these parts too - getting the children to bed...

I empathise massively.

And even if you haven't emailed me lately, you certainly can in future, because we need to organise our next bunk up in my cab, OK?

NAB3 · 22/05/2007 19:13

I am a bit confused??

seamonster · 22/05/2007 19:17

I had this exact same situation just after christmas, I had the positive test and was really scared about telling dp as we were both absolutly sure we wanted no more. I thought he was going to be really p'd off, but in the end he was really great, really supportive and now the whole family is looking forwards to our new baby. So good luck I know how you feel, but this could be the making of your perfect family.

LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 19:18

Me too, I have a possibly pg woman offering me hobnobs...

(Am I helping At All, MrsS?)

Original poster
MrsSausage · 22/05/2007 19:24

you are helping

you are all helping

we have spoken before on the nonsleeping baby matter but aaaargh i must say no more

aaargh

OP posts:
LongDistanceClara · 22/05/2007 19:27

Oh!

Er.

We've emailed in the past, right?

We have, I'm sure. You're too witty for me not to have emailed you

clutteredup · 22/05/2007 19:34

Mrs S i have to confess i told dh on the phone but that's because i'm not very good at waiting for anything - but still the sooner you tell him, the sooner you can get onto the next stage- whatever it maybe- oh and btw whatever you might feel right now it isn't your fault - it does take 2 you know. And believe me it'll all work out for the best in the end - we love dd2 completely, even if there is another not to be able to put to bed, 3 is no harder than 2.

SenoraPostrophe · 22/05/2007 19:36

MrsS - ds1 didn't sleep. ds2 doesn't either, but it's another kind of non sleeping and not nearly as bad. really.

I think everyone only gets one really bad sleeper.

hatrick · 22/05/2007 19:43

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