Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

@UnicornsandRainbows1 that's unusual they've requested a growth scan at 1 week behind. Normally it's 3cm/3weeks or more (well it is here anyway. The care definitely varies region by region). At least it'll give you some reassurance. I'm 4-5cm behind. Poor cord blood flow was found at scan 1 which was a worry, but it had gone back to normal by scan 2 thankfully. Also, although she's dinky, my little lady had grown in between the two scans and was on the 36th centile ten days ago. The thing is, I'm small built and, like you I am slim, so I do think that's something to do with it.

At least she's very strong and active so I'll concentrate on that. That's what all midwives I have seen said is the most important! How many weeks are you now? I'm 39 weeks on Monday - yikes!

@Flatwhite32 I think that's why I'm so stumped. When she listened in she was happy with the blood flow she could hear and whatnot so I'm just so bloody confused. She mentioned the 3cm thing like you have so god knows what this is about then. With being small myself tbf she was never going to be huge or anything. I'm 26 weeks - 27 on Wednesday 😊

A thread for new arrivals is a lovely idea. Maybe in postnatal clubs? Rainbow babies 2018 and we can make a new one each year, or two a year so you stay with your pregnancy cohort?

@BertieBotts Postnatal club makes sense. It just seems sad to have this TTC/MC and pregnancy journey with each other and then part ways I guess. Maybe I'm just too much of a sap 😅

@BertieBotts that sounds like a lovely idea!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 26 weeks! Wow! Time is flying by!

Thank you for the congratulations! We're both doing really well. On the growth scan front - obviously this is just one anecdote, but some of you might remember I had a lot of stress about this, at one point he went down to 10th centile, then gradually went back up to first 20th and 40th, but always with tiny, tiny (5th centile) legs. This worried me to the point I must have googled dwarfism 100 times, because it seemed so odd - I'm 5'10 and DH is 6'2, so why were we going to have this quite round but very short baby? He was born weighing 7 pounds 1, which is quite close to what his last scan predicted, but every person who sees him from the midwife onwards says how long and skinny he is, and particularly how long his legs are! They must never have got a good image of them because there's just no way they're 5th centile legs or anything close to it. I'm really glad they kept a close eye on him (and they weren't thrilled about his placenta when it delivered and sent it to pathology as it looked a bit odd, so I'm glad we had the extra precaution of the CTGs), but in hindsight I think our growth scans found a problem that just wasn't there.

Would love a post-natal group - I'll keep checking in to see how you guys are doing (thinking of you flatwhite - so close to the end!) and once another couple more have popped I can start a thread?

Great idea :) Defo good to know about the growth scans.

Sorry you're also having the growth scan stress unicorns. I would try and take some comfort that they're happy to wait until the 25th to do your growth scan. When I measured 5cm behind it was a case of straight up the hospital for a scan the same day. Hopefully all will be fine and you'll enjoy an extra peek at the baby.

Lisa I'm glad all is going well. I'm also in the short leg situation! On all my scans the baby's abdominal circumference has been near enough the 50th centile and the legs are on the 5th. I'm hoping they'll be one of those babies that comes out bigger than predicted!

I also think a post-natal group would be great.

Turns out that I'm producing a low amount of PAPP-A from my last blood test (which was at the dating scan). Why they've only just told me I don't know, but being a baby from IUGR and hearing about what happened has made me pretty anxious.

I don't know why I thought this would be any different, clearly I'm crap at keeping any baby fucking safe.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 you've done nothing wrong! Please don't blame yourself, these things come up through no fault of our own but the docs / midwives will be monitoring and making sure baby is safe.

Hey everyone, just trying to catch up on the thread as haven’t posted in a while. Works been manic and my sciatica has been causing me loads of problems which is getting gradually worse. Waiting for an emergency physio referral to come through so I can get this fixed (hopefully!) before baby arrives.

I’m 17+5 today and apart from the pain in my leg & foot from sciatica I’ve had no other issues recently. Looking massive already! I don’t remember being this big or feeling so heavy so early on with my first 🙈

Huge congratulations @LisaSimpsonsbff pleases to hear you’re doing well :)

Sorry to hear of the stress and anxiety of growth scans @UnicornsandRainbows1 I must say I’m with @LisaSimpsonsbff on this! I personally never listen to what the midwives say, their measurements are hopeless and just a guide anyway, whereas the scans show a clearer indication of size.

I was told from about 20 weeks with my first that I was measuring ‘very big’ and constantly told by midwives I was going to have a big baby. They even asked multiple times if I was sure I wanted to opt for a natural birth!! What a great way to fill a first time mum with confidence about birth!!

My daughter was 6lb 11oz so hardly a big baby! (Myself and brothers were all over 9lb, my brother was 10lb so my daughter was a tiddler in comparison)

Try not to worry too much, easier said than done I know but the midwives don’t know everything. They have guides to go by but every woman and baby is entirely different.

Here’s hoping for only positive results/news for you going forward. These midwives sure know how to stress us out!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I know needing extra scans is stressful- I think Papp-A is a "soft-marker" for growth issues. I believe only a small percentage have problems though. My DD measured small until 36 weeks when she suddenly measured big. At 40 weeks a scan estimated her at more than 5kg. I was terrified! She came along at 40+10 measuring a very average 3.2kg!

MummyJ I'm much bigger this time too.

I'm having an anxious day. No flutters at all and cramps in my tummy. I wish I could just close my eyes and wake up after my section with baby in my arms. Would be less warm too! 17+3.

I've been and registered with the hospital I've chosen today. They were lovely and it really cemented my choice to go there. Baby has to stay where he is until at least 36 weeks though, otherwise I have to go to the main city hospital.

Which means that he is officially allowed to arrive in two weeks How did that happen?? Obviously I'd prefer him to stay in a bit longer than that!

I saw a brand new little newborn today as well being wheeled around in a little wooden cot :) and his mother didn't even look too exhausted! I had better get a hospital bag packed.

Ah that’s great news @BertieBotts
I really want to have this baby at our nearest birthing centre but it’s a 20minute ambulance journey to the nearest hospital if anything goes wrong which my hubby isn’t keen on.
Only thing with the place at the hospital is they don’t allow visits until you’re 36 weeks! That just seems so late to me, especially as I had my first at 37 weeks. I’d want to know where I’m having the baby well in advance or I’ll worry about it otherwise.

Really want a relaxing waterbirth like with my first, I just really hate the whole atmosphere at hospitals and I’m sure I’ll tense up if I’m in a hospital 😬

@BertieBotts sounds like things are really coming together. Hope baby stays put now (I'm sure he will lol) so you can have the birth where you want. Exciting!

Yes luckily here all three hospitals are fairly close together so it wouldn't be too long to transfer if we did need to, but they can do c-sections and such at the smaller one too, it's just they have more specialised NICU stuff at the big one. So I'm not worried as I know they would be able to stabilise and do emergency stuff before moving baby/me and if they do need to move the baby first they strive to move you too within 24 hours so you're not in separate hospitals.

@BertieBotts getting close now! When are you finishing work?

@mummyjl15 I was in labour ward with DD and it was all very calm, bouncing on a ball, mobilising with no intervention (until it all went pear shaped at the very end, but that was just bad luck!). Midwives/obstetricians were very happy to leave me to it when things were going well.

Anyone else in second trimester having appetite problems? I seem to be either starving or over-full. Vaguely remember this from last time- I get very hungry, eat a decent meal and then feel like death/nauseous. Bump bigger earlier this time so might be why it's started now. Going to try eating little and often from now on.

Got my "Paris Bump Kit" from Seraphine (on sale now). Love the dress, skirt and leggings, top is a bit long and a bit clingy for short pear shaped me but is fine really. Will hopefully form the bulk of my work wear through to maternity leave- was planning to work up to end of November, C-Section in second week of December if all goes to plan.

I've finished - you stop 6 weeks before in Germany. I thought I'd be bored but I'm actually very happy about it. I can rest as much as I want and don't need to deal overly with the heat outside.

Hi all, 22 weeks tomorrow. flatwhite I cant believe you’re 39 weeks already, that seems to have just flown by towards the end!
Sorry to hear about worries, but hope you’re all being looked after. I think a baby group on here would be really lovely, I’d love to stay in contact with you all!

Please can I join this chat? Hoping for some reassurance- I’m losing my marbles.

Firstly congratulations to all where things are going well, and my heart goes out to anyone going through the heartbreak again.

My little boy is nearly 3 now, conceived straight away/ perfect pregnancy. Then in October 16 I had my first miscarriage- week before
My first scan I got an upset tummy for a couple of days, then my
Baby literally fell out- it was just horrendous. Then February 17 I paid for an early scan at 9 weeks only to be told no baby had developed- there was a yolk sack only. Heartbreak again.

I’m now almost 6 weeks. Symptoms
Have gone quiet. I’m feeling pretty swollen and full “down there”. I promised myself I’d stay calm and take things a day at a time but my
Mind is racing. Am I having some sort of prolapse? Yolk sack should be developing now, is it empty again?

I really need someone to help me snap out of this mindset!!! We have said no early scan this time- last time we were given the bad news and just left in limbo between the scan centre and a and e. 12 weeks feels so long away!

@Embobolina88 I'm in a similar situation. Will be 6 weeks tomorrow, easy pg with DS and then MC at 11 weeks back in January. Constantly on knicker watch and second guessing everything including my sickness easing up but resisting the urge for an early scan (so far). The best advice I can give is to let it all out either on here or even by calling your midwife if you feel the need. Each day seems to take forever but then when looking back I realise that actually the last 2 weeks since I found out haven't taken long at all. We'll get through this.

Thank you @hidcat. Sorry I think I’ve got
Myself on too many boards just desperate for someone to say something that makes my mind rest a bit. Yeah we’re in
The same boat from the sounds of it. I just had such a bad experience when I paid for early scan last time- we went on a Saturday- was given the bad news by an unsympathetic lady. Then left in limbo. Sitting in a and e with a thousand other people, waiting for answers or to be booked in for a scan by the hospital just to confirm what we’d already been told. I’d rather wait until 12 weeks then at least if it’s bad news we’re in the right place- of that makes sense?

@Embobolina88 and @HidCat the first trimester is really hard and slow after miscarriages. I'm not sure if early scans help or not- I find I'm reassured for around a day after scan and then anxious once more. But a scan at 8 weeks with a heartbeat is associated with a very good chance so would probably hold off until then anyway.

Do try not to worry about symptoms. My very worst symptoms have been with my MMC and have had least symptoms during my fairly straightforward pregnancy with DD. This time symptoms came and went constantly for whole first trimester.

embobolina i really feel for you, the first trimester is torture. I just wanted to add my story in case it reassures you in any way. I lost one baby last year at 7 weeks naturally and the second straight after was a mmc at 10 weeks discovered at an awful private scan by an unsympathetic man and i wasn't with my OH.

I have 2ds already, pregnancies for both were 'easy' and trouble free. I am now 22 weeks into this pregnancy. I went through several stages of symptoms disappearing and worrying about other random feelings. i did however this time opt for a reassurance scan from the hospital, they were very kind and i had one at 9 weeks, roughly making past where i'd lost the two previous babies. I appreciate reassurance scanning isn't for everyone, as you are only reassured for a time and then worry sets in, but maybe see if you feel like it a bit further along..

But come on here anytime, many of us a bit further down the line will totally understand your fears. To be honest i still worry and will until right to the end, it's completely normal. I knicker checklist days and worry if i can't feel baby moving - even though its still early days really for lots of movement.