Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

I had my scan today and was measured as being 7+1 which is a day ahead of what I thought I was and we saw the heartbeat. With all our loses we’ve never had a good scan at this stage although we did with dd. Still feeling very anxious and don’t want to get carried away but it is a glimmer of hope. Hope everyone is surviving in this heat.

Great news on the scan something! Have you got any more reassurance scans planned or will it be your dating scan next?

Sorry that everything wasn't as straight forward as you had hoped with yours flatwhite. How many weeks are you now? When I spoke to my obstetrics doctor friend after mine last week she said the most important thing with these type of problems is that they're picked up and can then be monitored and it sounds like they're going to be keeping a close eye from now on.

Kirin I've been wondering where paranormal is too. I hope she's ok.

I've just been in with reduced movements. Spent about 45 mins on the monitor and eventually the little tinker woke up and started moving about as normal. Everyone was lovely and very reassuring and I'm glad I phoned. Baby is still stubbornly diagonal with it's bum at the bottom however.

Thanks keepon the midwife we had was so lovely and asked us when we wanted to come back. We’ve decided 10 weeks but if there’s any issues we can go back before that.

When I was pregnant with dd she was transverse for ages then eventually turned and went head down. I think it was sitting on my gym ball that did it.

Hi everyone, sorry for my absence, I’ve been having a very anxious week. Lots of aches and pains (probably related to surgery) and I think spd is starting already. Have had spotting on and off, called epu who said they aren’t interested as it’s probably the stitch settling. And bad thrush which I’m currently treating with pessaries- not surprising after antibiotics especially in the hot weather. Hoping to feel some flutters soon to reassure me but the anterior low placenta is probably conspiring against me!

Kirin congrats on getting to third trimester. Keep reduced movements is so stressful, I’m glad all was well with the monitoring.

I decided I was putting myself under too much pressure lining up 3 interviews with everything going on so I pulled out of last weeks one. It really wasn’t the job I wanted so suspect they’d have picked up on my lack of enthusiasm in interview anyway! And am in a nice post-cct fellow teaching/research post which I can continue a few more months. So plan is to push on with the interview for job I really want, but stay where I am until Mat leave kicks in anyway. Hope I don’t regret it later!!

Hi all. para how many weeks are you? I’m 19+5 and despite this being my third I still can’t feel anything.

I have my 20 week scan tomorrow at 9.30. I’m so nervous and just hope all is well. Thank goodness it’s early and I don’t have all day to wait!

15+3 now. Have a review and quick scan at 16+4. Hope your scan goes well tomorrow, I know it's scary. Do you have an anterior placenta too? I felt my DD quite early but the placenta was high and posterior, now it's low and anterior so expecting will actually be later this time.

Putty I'm in Germany.

Nothing much to report. My friends threw me a baby shower which was lovely :) I ought to get everything out of the nappy cake and sort out what we have but I don't want to ruin it! I think, though, we finally have everything ready which seems a bit unnaturally organised. I suppose that means I can spend money on fun and silly things like cute clothes

para maybe mine is like that - i think it was with my second. I'll ask at the scan tomorrow. I feel like maybe i can feel flutters...but not convinced enough. I'm glad you have another scan in a week to check all is ok.

@nocats all the best for the scan tomorrow

Good luck for your scan today nocats.

I think that sounds totally sensible with the job interview paranormal! One interview was more than enough for me and no sense in putting yourself through the stress of it if you don't particularly want the job. Especially not right now.

I've not had a great start to the day and have been in with reduced movements again already. Fortunately everything was fine. My anxiety has really ramped back up these past few days. The end feels so close yet still so far some ways and I can't stop worrying that it will all go wrong somehow. I've got a growth scan tomorrow afternoon so I'm hoping that will help but in many ways I want to be induced at 37 weeks as it least then the end will be nearer.

I hope everyone else is faring better than me!

@NoCatsHere hope the scan went well.

@keeponrunning85 I didn’t really want the job, and I don’t think they really wanted me for the job. So I doubt I’d have got the job anyway! Was planning this one as interview practice really for job I do want (interview will be August/September I think) but decided I’d enough on my plate at the moment so pulled out. Didn’t have the energy for all those pre interview chats etc right now.

How many weeks now? Reduced movements is terrifying everytime. My DD settled into a new pattern in mid-late third trimester where she had long quiet periods, so had a few visits for reduced movements myself. She slept 6-7 hours a night from day 1 though so in retrospect it was probably just her finding a pattern. I think most obstetricians will consider early induction in people who’ve had several episodes of reduced movements so it would be worth talking to them about it.

Thanks so much everyone, all was well at the scan. Remaining team yellow as well. All was good, scanner was happy with measurements. The relief i feel is un real. Half way, and looking forward to making it to 24 weeks and I can look at things I need and we can discuss names. Well I suggest names and the OH half just says yes or no! Mainly seems to be no at the minute!!

Think I've had some little flutters. Possibly imagined! Like bubbles very low down. With DD it felt more like little taps. Will see if they continue over the next while!

NoCats congratulations! It's such a relief when everything looks good at 20 weeks. Hope I have that experience this time (had anomaly found with DD, nothing major but meant a lot of follow up scans and anxiety).

Yay so pleased for you @NoCatsHere! Lovely news!

Thanks for your words of reassurance paranormal. I'm 33 weeks today. Definitely a good call on the interview. I found the pre-interview meet ups almost as stressful as the interview.

Great news on the scan nocats!

So I had an odd dream about the baby last night. It was a boy but we dressed it in a dress, DH decided he didn't like our boys name after all so he had no name, I kept forgetting to breast feed him and when I changed his nappy for the first time it was full of spaghetti bolognese I suppose I should see having a dream about having a live baby as progress!

You’ve obviously been reading a lot of mumsnet and are aware that boys can wear dresses too. And don’t worry, you won’t forget to breastfeed as 1. Babies will make it clear what they want and 2. Your breasts will turn into huge boulders if you are late to feed in the first few weeks!

I’m counting down days to next scan. Actually it’s GTT (pre-term clinic protocol- and I am officially old now so will probably fail with the new fasting criteria!), midwife appointment and pre-term clinic with cervical scan. But they’ll quickly look to see if the baby is still alive which is good. Then begins the countdown to 20 week scan.

Hello ladies, mind if I join you? I got my bfp on Tuesday so I'm 4weeks. Got my first appointment with my midwife tomorrow morning, didn't expect one until 8 weeks!

Welcome @hidcat and great news @nocats

I have a question - when do you feel it is ok to tell older child/children about pregnancy? We haven’t told DD yet (am 17wks) but people keep telling me I need to tell her. I really don’t want to - until hopefully after the 20 week scan. Maybe it’s because of the previous losses but I’m so afraid that I tell her and then get her excited and then it goes wrong. I think if the 20 week scam goes ok, I’ll feel better about it. Some people though are really quite pushy about it.....

@HidCat welcome!
@Anxious I haven’t told DD yet either. I’m 16 weeks tomorrow and she’s 4. Planning to wait until at least 20 weeks. It’s a long time for her to have that news!

@para that’s what I think too! My DD is also 4. It seems people think because I’m so obviously expecting that I have to tell her, but she is quite unaware. She did poke my stomach last week and said ‘mummy maybe you are growing a baby’ so either she does know in her own way or just coincidence. Either way, it’s a different thing from us actually telling her. I want her just to enjoy being 4!

@Anxiousfeelings last time out we told our DS straight away and he was great when we had to tell him we'd lost the baby. I think we'll tell him once we hit the 12 week scan mark.

My DD is very sensitive and has been asking for a baby for the last year. I don’t know how she’d take it if I lose this one so will wait a while. Bit obviously every child is different. What I thought was flutters has stopped for last few days so obviously worded again. Sigh. This pregnancy is passing so slowly- anyone else feel like that?

Mine went slowly at first then seemed to pass quickly, then I had a slow bit again, it's going fast again now I'm getting towards the end but I'm sure it will slow down if/when I get towards term!

It's really normal for flutters to come and go initially, remember baby is still so tiny you can probably only feel them when they're in one particular position and they have lots of room to move around.

We told DS quite early on, but he is older and he knew about the previous miscarriage. If he was younger I'd definitely be waiting until I was clearly showing, had had more reassurance, and possibly even until movement could be felt on the outside, I think 5-6 months is supposed to be around the right time for under 5s, because then it's not so long for them to wait. Waiting half a year is an eternity to a small child and they just don't understand. Plus it really helps if you have things like a visible bump and movement for them to latch on to and help it feel more real.

Thanks Bertie, logically I do know flutters will come and go, especially with an anterior placenta. I just worry about everything this time! How many weeks are you now?

The heat is killing me. Thrush is back(embarking on a treatment course to try and eradicate it now!!) and I’m covered in insect bites. The very opposite of glamorous!

I'm 33 weeks now :) I can definitely feel him moving wherever he is because there's no room for him to hide any more!