Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

Hi @fruitandbarley and congratulations.

I totally understand your anxiety, I have been the same, I'm constantly checking my boobs hurt so you're not bonkers!

the only advice i can give is to try to relax and know that your thyroid issues are now sorted and there's nothing to say you wont continue this pregnancy to term.

Good luck and hang around, everyone here is super supportive and everyone gets it x

Hi all. I'm 5+4 today and have the most horrific uncomfortable bloating.

TMI i suffer with constipation anyway but this pregnancy has slowed things RIGHT down. Whenever i eat i feel bloated which in turn makes me feel queasy. I wish i was at home so I could undo my trousers but im at work and its frowned upon lol

My boobs were SO sore last night i could hardly move in bed. i'm taking this as a good sign.

Scan in 5 days....I am trying to make the time go fast!

@fruitandbarley I’m exactly the same with squeezing my boobs. I also do everything soft of looking at the toilet paper with a microscope after I’ve wiped. It’s a worrying time!

@whiteonesugar that’s normal, I’ve been constipated today too and I’m 9+4 so it doesn’t get much better I’m afraid!

I’ve been worrying today, no bleeding or spotting so far thank god but have had a niggling lower back ache for most of the day. It’s settling a bit now after rest but very bloody worrying! Still been feeling sick and having sore boobs so that’s a good sign.

God I’m neurotic at times. Still waiting on a 12 week scan date! I’m chomping at the bit! Might go for a private one.

Hi all! Thread's been busy these last couple of days - just catching up. Busy couple of days here as well - I had an extra scan in fetal medicine yesterday as they saw a persistent right umbilical vein at my anomaly scan last week. I forced myself not to google but apparently it can be associated with heart defects - scan yesterday and fetal echocardiogram today all fine though :) They also rescanned by cervix for me today rather than waiting for my appointment tomorrow and it's stable!! So very relieved this evening. I need to go back to the preterm surveillance clinic again in two weeks but feeling much better about it now.

@fruitandbarley congrats on your BFP. It's so difficult at the beginning of the first trimester - I found the time went past soooo slowly. But I don't think symptoms mean much, especially at this early stage - there are loads and loads of women who lose symptoms or have fluctuating symptoms and don't miscarry.

looking4hope great news about your scan! Chances must be really good for you now after a good heartbeat at 9+ weeks :) But I'm sure it could be difficult to focus on that if that hasn't been your experience before... hope you're doing ok. toothpaste hope your scan date comes through soon! Would you wait til 12 weeks for a private one or go sooner?

labmum loved hearing about your baby dancing :) thinking of you for your scan tomorrow, hope the scanxiety isn't too bad this evening.

anne hope you're on the mend - sounds like a nasty episode!

And hope everyone else is doing ok as well x

Thanks everyone. Nice to find a place I feel at home admitting all the things I've been doing and thinking, and that I'm not alone. Here's hoping the next few weeks go quickly.

@fruitandbarley congratulations on your bfp. Anxiety is natural just get talking to a midwife ASAP to make sure you get all the support you can.

AnneLovesGilbert So exciting you've started to feel those swirls / swooshes! I always said I'd look into hypnobirthing when the time came, so will be curious to hear how you find the course. Your poor DH has been through a lot, hope everything will be easy for the both of you.

Paranormalbouquet Definitely finish work earlier if you can, your and your baby's wellbeing is the priority right now. Hope the nausea and SPD will ease off soon.

fruitandbarley Congrats on your BFP! The first few weeks are very difficult and slow-going, so take it one day at a time and focus on yourself - do things you enjoy, have plenty of rest and try to be positive. The pregnancy section of the fertility app I'm using had a great tip today: "Whether you are pregnant for 9 days or 9 months, it's the only time you'll be pregnant with THIS baby. Enjoy every minute of it. It doesn't hurt any more or less if you think about your baby and enjoy pregnancy." Symptoms disappearing / fluctuating is not always a bad sign. Mine completely disappeared just before 9 weeks and the baby has been fine so far. I think we've all been checking our boobs like mad women, so that's normal Will you have an early scan?

whiteonesugar Constipation is the bane of my existence. I've always been regular, but pregnancy completely changed it. Try eating plenty of fruit and veg if you can stomach it, fibre helps move things along. Dates also help. Using an elastic band for your jeans is also a good idea. I've been wearing baggy jumpers to hide my huge bloated belly. Keeping everything crossed for your scan, 5 days will just fly by.

Iswallowtoothpaste I've also had lower backache today. Had severe backache before the private scan (could barely move / walk), which made me worry so much. The baby seemed fine, so please don't worry about it. Unfortunately the reassurance provided by private scans is short-lived, a few days later I was back to my natural state i.e. basket case But do go for one if you think it will help.

Vuduvu Great news on all your scans and investigations, you must be so relieved. It's great you're monitored and they're keeping a close eye on everything.

@lookingforhope that’s reassuring, thank you. I’ve just had a bath and it still hasn’t eased although no other ominous signs (fingers crossed) could even be a bit of wind/constipation as I have been suffering with that. Was doing a bit of lifting whilst walking up stairs yesterday at work too (nothing too heavy) so that could also have something to do with it.

Sorry realised I said @Labmum last night when I meant @Miami81. Good luck for your scan today Miami

@Miami81 good luck with your scan today! Thinking of you.

@whiteonesugar 25 weeks here and still suffering with the constipation, Mother natures way of giving us some "pushing" practise! Haha!

@AnneLovesGilbert lovely that you're starting to feel movements, the hypnobirthing will be good, its techniques can be used for any birth; natural/c-section. Some instructors are very much anti-intervention (your body knows whats its doing, refuse checks, no being told to push etc. which I'm don't agree with esp. being pregnant after loss) but the actual techniques can be used for a c section too if things end up that way as it focuses on staying calm, not panicking. I did it with DS, it no way stopped it hurting but it stopped me panicking about it and I was just in the "zone" and going with it. Whether it'll be an option this time we'll find out at my placental location scan next month.

Welcome @fruitandbarley, got everything crossed for you this time. Its very positive that you have a reason for past losses and know that that is now under control.

I've had a manic couple of weeks, I was on a training course last week, hubby is away for one this week. DS came down with a cold and it flared up his asthma so we've had a hospital visit and disturbed sleep, typical when I'm on my own. My nerves and emotions are just fried. Little lady is doing fine I think, honestly been too busy to keep much track of movements but I do know whenever I've been up in the nights with DS she's been having a little rave in there so it would seem the disturbed nights are just good practise for her arrival. My Mum has nicknamed her Dolly Dot which is cute and has gone into overdrive with the knitting!

Has anyone decided on names for their little one yet? Not asking you to share unless you want to, just wondering really. DH and I are in a stalemate over the middle name, no first name decision as yet but his choice of middle name I don't like, and it would hugely restrict the choice of first name (it ends in an ie/y sound so would mean the first name couldn't end in that sound as it just won't flow very well). Any tips on negotiating tactics? We could break it up with two middle names but that just seems a bit excessive!

hi ladies. Wondering if you'd mind another lady to join? I miscarried in August with my first baby and I've now found out today I'm pregnant again! How do you make yourself not worry about losing another again? Feel it's taken a lot of excitement away x x

All good at scan ladies. Totally wiped now just feels all a bit overwhelming. Glad it's the weekend soon and we can take a bit of time to relax and deal with that feeling a bit.

Miami that’s brilliant news! Hopefully you’ll be able to relax and enjoy the weekend now. Labmum we have a names shortlist but haven’t made a decision yet. I wouldn’t worry about middle name sound, it’s very unlikely that you’d use both names together anyway?

Wonderful news @Miami! Hope you have a nice weekend ahead and it all starts to sink in and seem real.

Thanks @Paranormal I'm reassuring myself with the knowledge that it'll never get used but its still not a name I like at all. Oh well all of us on here know there are much worse problems to have so I'm just grateful I'm in the position to be having this discussion with DH!

Great news @Miami81, very happy for you  how are you feeling about things today?

Welcome @Delilah7 and congratulations on your BFP. If anyone else has a way to stop worrying I would love to hear it!! Things that have helped me a bit are distraction and positive visualisations but really I have been pretty anxious for most of the last 4 months.

@Vuduvu thank you!! I'm very worried x x

@Miami that’s fantastic news! On the worrying front, I think it’s hard to not worry, I think you’re doing the right thing by distracting yourself and with the positive visualisations!

I’ve finally got my scan date through for Tuesday the 20th. Holding out till then and crossing the days off!

@Delilah7 congratulations! I don't think you can totally take away the fear, just learn to respect it and work through (easier said than done). Take each day as it comes.

@Miami81 congratulations on a good scan. Love little milestones.

@HidCat thanks Hun trying to stay positive. But scared to be too positive! Xx

Miami81 brilliant news, so happy you had a good scan. Hope you're having a relaxing weekend and everything has started to feel more real.

Iswallowtoothpaste great news you finally have a scan date! Mine is on the 16th (12+4). Hope your backache eased off. Mine comes and goes, noticed that it's worse if I stand so I try to have plenty of rest / stay in bed.

Labmum poor you, sounds like you've had a rough few days. Hope your DS is feeling better and your hubby is back to help with everything. Take it easy and find time to rest / do things for yourself. Love the Dolly Dot nickname

Welcome Delilah7 and congratulations on your BFP! I'm almost 11 weeks and I don't think the worry ever goes away... Getting distracted with work / thinks you enjoy doing helps. This time around I'm just taking it easy and not putting pressure on myself in any area of my life. If I want to spend the whole day in bed watching movies, that's what I'm doing. Talking to my DH about how I feel also helps a lot.

@looking4hope thank you Hun!! Congrats to you too. I'm so scared yet I've had so many more symptoms than I ever had before. Just the dreaded CM comes out or I wee on the toilet and I think it's gonna be blood. Can't stop thinking it 😔

Hi guys - had my early scan this afternoon, all looks fine, measuring one day ahead of my dates so 6 + 3 today and the most beautiful little flickering heartbeat 💗

@whiteonesugar how wonderful! I'm debating an early scan too. I'm 5 weeks tomorrow. Did anyone have any occasionally pulsing pains or like tugging?? X

Hi everyone. Nice to find people in the same situation as me (sort of - better if none of us had to experience it). I'm now 18+5 with our second having lost our first at 22+2 with a probable incompetent cervix in April 2017. Now having my cervix scanned every two weeks. It's looking good and the monitoring is reassuring but the further i get from the last check the more anxious i get. Plus i'm going stir crazy (not working at the mo) but worried about doing too much.

Hi @RachelJoff I am sorry for your loss. Did you have a little boy or girl? We lost our little girl at 27 weeks in sept 2017, because of some kind of placenta issue.
I am currently 21+3 weeks.
We are being monitored every two weeks as well. It's very stressful between the scans. I find myself just constantly thinking that it's all over again.
Anyway nice to have you with us. I read loads of stuff saying that pregnancy after loss is the most difficult thing, but it's not until now that I realise just how intense this actually is.
I am going to have to decide on work soon enough. I find myself unable to focus on anything other then movements so think that at some stage I have to just decide to can it for a while.