Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

Growth scan looks good. Baby is pretty much on the 50th centile line. It’s so nice to see average measurements! My Doppler measurements have all improved now too so placental blood flow looks good. Happy now, can relax for a while.

Great news para and glad to hear you can relax a bit! How is your nausea?

Nausea seems to almost certainly be reflux related. Very bad first thing but then if I eat nonstop I'm fine. Although concerned I'll be the size of a house at the end of it all!

miami i still struggle with not stressing about movements now. I'm 37 weeks tomorrow and have anxiety back that i'm so close now yet it feels very far away too. i can't actually really believe i might get this baby! I had a very zen part for a while between maybe 25-32 weeks where there was a decent amount of movement, yet not near enough due date to think about it. Now i'm so tantalisingly close i feel nervous again....hence why i've done nothing to prepare. We have stuff in the loft from my previous two kids, but i'm reluctant to get it out.

para so glad scan was all good. will you have any more?

That’s so good para. Hope your SPD isn’t giving you too much grief. Sorry about the reflux and nausea.

I totally relate to the joy of average and normal. Found the growth charts in my notes after last scan and it’s bang on the centre line.

I’ve got a growth scan and placenta Doppler at 28 weeks at the clinic.

They’re 9 Labmum. They’re exhausting but adorable. Mostly

Sorry you’re feeling so anxious nocats. How are you doing today?

I’m ill First day off sick in as long as I can remember, mcs/surgery aside. Agonising upper abdo pain yesterday, felt like trapped wind, and then horrifically upset tummy all afternoon and evening, sweats, shakes, nausea, pale and wobbly. Bug, food poisoning, random pregnancy thing? Not a clue. Seems bit better today on peppermint tea and crackers but I’m wiped out and tummy hurts.

I might skip the aspirin today, doc said it lasts 48 hours and I can’t face eating enough to take it.

I have just nipped in to say i got through my 5 week weekend without any spotting or issues, in fact symptoms are defo stronger AND i got 3+ on a CBD yesterday at 5+1.

Fingers tightly crossed, only a week til early scan.

Hope everyone is ok!

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm sorry you are sick. I sometimes feel like it's all the growing and stretching that causes the pains if that makes sense. Like your internal organs are all being pushed out of whack so an amount of pain is to be expected maybe?
Woke at 2am to somebody doing a dance inside me, which was hilarious.
The movements are very different feeling this time, so it will be interesting on Thursday to see if my placenta is anterior as they do feel more hollow or something this time.
@NoCatsHere I can understand the anxiety when you are so close to the end. Are you just waiting for baby to decide when to come or are you having c-section / induction?

A dancing baby sounds awesome miami Hope you got back to sleep!

It’s tummy pain rather than baby type pain, probably just from epic upset over many hours. Had some blood the last time but not a lot and again prob from going a lot. Sorry for tmi.

Panicked a bit last night about food poisoning and it hurting the baby, or a bug or an infection and that hurting the baby (no temp), or it being from the aspirin. Too tired to panic today but might call the doc if it goes on too long. Trying to keep fluids up. And hoping at 20+ weeks it’s safe and secure in there and can handle a tummy bug.

@AnneLovesGilbert I would give your midwife a call just to check in with them. Stay hydrated if you can.

anne i think fluids will help a lot, but sure it can handle a tummy bug. Call your midwife if you need reassurance though. And thanks, i'm ok today, baby is nice and wriggler so there's no need to worry really. I'm still working (freelance at home) so that is keeping my mind off anxious thoughts.

miami i have an elcs booked for 3 weeks tomorrow, 1 day off my due date, I'm happy to try for another vbac if baby wants to come early as i'll see it as a sign, but i didn't want to go later than my due date this time. My first ds was emcs, second ds was vbac but it was a very dicey birth with him ending up in scbu for 10 weeks with an MRI scan and worries over brain damage etc (he's thankfully absolutely fine now) so all that past birth trauma, 2 mc to get to where i am today has made me feel perhaps a little control and an elcs is best for me and baby.

white so happy you've made it through the 5 week mark, little milestones like that make a huge difference to positivity....and i want to tell you to step away from the CBD and testing but i know what a nightmare i was for peeing on things in the early days so i won't!!!

@NoCatsHere wow I can completely understand you feeling like that about it.
Sometimes I jump ahead to that stage and try and think what we will do, but as long as someone hands me my breathing baby at the end of it I really don't mind.
At the moment I am thinking we are very likely to be ELCS at 37 weeks (assuming we get there). I had a massive post partum haemorrhage after delivering my stillborn dd, so I think actually in the interest of my sanity and that of my lovely DH (who did spend 2.5 hrs thinking I was dead too) we will probably go ELCS if we have a choice when it comes to it. If I go into labour before that and baby is head down then that's a different story.
Glad you have a wriggler. I am hoping this one spends the next 17 weeks knocking the crap out of my insides.

@whiteonesugar just on clear blues, I never actually got a 3+ with this pregnancy. I tested at 5 wks and 5+4 I think and it never went past the 2-3. And that was the two tests in the box and I wouldn't allow myself buy any more.
No more testing for you now, if you can. I have everything crossed for your scan for you.

miami you absolutely have to do what is best for you and also yes your right your DH too. I know my DH was really upset by my last sons birth, I think sometimes the hospital forget its also really traumatic for them too. I know he is happier with an elcs for us, but also he wants to support whatever birth i choose. I feel better just having a plan you know... And think a cs for you at 37 weeks sounds like an excellent plan. Hoping you get a massive wriggler too!! x

LOL if you knew me you would know how utterly impossible that is for me. But i only have 3 FRER left ( which I will do over the course of the week just for reassurance) and no more CBD, and i wont be buying any more so no more tests after my scan.

I am a POAS addict but also a firm believer in doing what you need to do to get through and that's what gets me through!

Glad things are on track for you white How are you feeling in yourself?

Really good you have a plan nocats and miami I hope you get the plan you want. With what you and DH have both been through cutting out the potential for too much unknown and stress is wise.

Not the same thing at all but it took a while after my worst mmc for DH to open up about just how traumatic it was for him to see me in so much pain, terrified, out of control and him not able to do anything to help. Of course he did help, loads, but I was completely wrapped up in my own pain and just getting through it I didn’t think about how shit it was for him as well. It helped us both to talk about it and how we can support each other in future situations! With the second mmc I gave him jobs, mainly hot water bottle and toast making, meds planning and back rubs. We both felt better able to get through it.

6 calls later, I spoke to a lovely midwife who was very sympathetic but said to keep fluids up, not to worry and it’s probably a bug as no temp. Keep an eye and if it carries on call the Gp. Had some dry crackers and weeing every couple of hours so fluid must be okay.

@AnneLovesGilbert - I am ok, I feel sick on and off throughout the day and my boobs are really sore. I have some very mild cramps and twinges - nothing like the AF style cramps i had last month (MC at 6 weeks - spotting from 5) and tired. So in all it's all good. I am trying to stay busy and distracted with work etc but it's really hard!

Hope you feel better soon, they say to follow the BRAT diet - Bananas, Rice, Apple and Toast when you have had a poorly tummy. Replaces salts, sugars etc.

Wow, this thread has been busy. Congratulations to everyone having 20w scans / reaching milestones! It's so nice to read positive messages and I'm so, so happy for each and every one of you.

AnneLovesGilbert hope you feel better now and you managed to get some rest. Just try to eat little and often (good diet suggestion from whiteonesugar) and keep up the fluid intake.

Miami81 dancing baby made me smile, having a little fun in mummy's belly. Hope you managed to get some sleep after.

NoCatsHere hope the next fee weeks just fly by and the baby kicks every single inch of you

whiteonesugar congrats for reaching another milestone! I agree with what you're saying, best to do whatever provides some reassurance and can get you through these weeks. Keeping everything crossed for your early scan.

Iswallowtoothpaste how do you feel? Don't worry about symptoms coming and going, it's normal at this stage.

A little update from me: I'm 10w today and just before 9w, all my symptoms (and I really mean all) disappeared overnight. Both me and DH spent 5 days just going crazy and preparing for the worst. Poor DH was so upset, more than I've ever seen him, so we decided to have a private scan at 9+2 to end the torturous wait. Lo and behold, the baby was wriggling and everything looked as it should. My DH pretty much did a happy dance in the scan room The sonographer told us that it's a big no-no to listen to the heartbeat in early pregnancy as the heat generated can be bad for the baby. I wasn't aware of this. Made us paranoid, as the last time we had a private scan at 9+5 during which we listened to the heartbeat and I miscarried 4 days later. I did some research and a lot of sonographers, all over the world, say that frequent scans, especially in the first trimester, are not recommended (unless there's a medical reason for them). They also say that listening to the heartbeat is worse. So we'll definitely wait patiently until my NHS scan at 12+5. Booking appointment this week, one step closer...

@AnneLovesGilbert I hope you feel better soon.

@whiteonesugar congratulations on the 5week milestone.

Sounds like everyone is doing ok atm, I hope those with anxiety are getting support and working through. Hopefully we'll have some lovely birth announcements on here soon!

Oh white i had about a 1000 of those damn IC tests and peed on them almost daily until 12 weeks so it's ok, i too can hold my hands up and say i am a POAS addict. you gotta do, what you gotta do....hope this week flies by.

anne its totally the same though, in terms of what is relative to you and your trauma, your mmc was awful for you and came of the back of previous heartache. I'm glad you and DH managed to get something positive out of it, shows that he'll be amazing when birth happens or anything else in your life comes at you that you need to handle together.

looking4hope haha i love that people are willing the baby to kick every inch of me!! i am too!
So interesting about the scan and heartbeat thing....so happy all is well though with the baby. And hope the next 2 weeks zoom past.

@nocatshere thank you! I used tons of the ICs with DS but this time they were just shit, honestly the lines on them were so awful i threw them all away because they were not helping at all, i found another cheaper brand but have stuck with FRER this time. I dread to think the amount i've spent on them - it will all be worth it if everything goes well!

Well, I’m approx 9+3 today when our last baby’s heartbeat sadly stopped. Symptoms are going strong today and I’m at work which is taking my mind off everything.

Eagerly awaiting my scan letter! Can’t believe I’ve managed to get this far without having one already!

Definitely on the mend though I still feel a bit pathetic and wonky, thanks for kind wishes. Think I might be getting movements, only when I'm still on the sofa on in bed, like a swirl or a swoosh, not tapping or bubbles but I think there's something there...

Nocats Xxxx We've signed up for hypnobirthing in December which we're feeling positive about. It's 4 evenings and DH is keen to avoid a rigid "plan" of any kind but to get some strategies for coping with whatever happens. My DSC birth was extremely traumatic, their Mum never went into labour, had an EMCS, nearly died, one of the babies was injured and it was horrendous for everyone so I want him to be in a calm optimistic headspace as much as possible too. Poor sod, none of it's been straight forward!

Hope your scan comes quickly Iswallowtoothpaste and goes really well! very good about strong symptoms.

What a stressful time for you looking4hope, I know the feeling, and so pleased you've had great news!

NoCats I have another scan at 36 weeks. Midwife appointment next week. Can't believe how close you are now! I've done minimal preparation either- really need to start getting organised. I'm really pleased to be having an ELCS this time too, had a really rough first delivery with an eventual EMCS so I totally understand the want to be in control.

Anne I'm starting to struggle physically a bit now, nausea and SPD getting on top of me so I think I may need to wrap up work a little earlier. I'll see how I go. Might see about taking one day AL a week. Glad to hear you are getting growth scans and dopplers too, it is certainly reassuring to know you are being monitored. I'm sorry you've been so unwell, do get seen if you are worried. Swooshing sounds like early movements to me! Hypnobirthing sounds positive- I totally agree with not being fixed on a plan. Given my training and my experience I know plans often don't go to plan and nobody should feel bad that their plans don't work out. I also tell everyone that I really regret not having an epidural with DD as I ended up needing a GA section whereas if I had an epidural I could have just had it topped up for the procedure.

White glad to see you've got past 5 weeks. Every day in the first trimester drags but every day risk of miscarriage drops.

Miami glad to hear you've had more movement at time. I really think it totally depends on position of baby in relation to the placenta. It was definitely well after 20 weeks when I got regular movements this time. At 32+5 there's no mistaking them though. I think in your situation I would be asking for ELCS too just because situation will be more controlled and monitored. Hope your scan tomorrow goes well.

Looking congrats on a good scan! I agree, symptoms mean nothing at all. Toothpaste can't believe you've held managed to get this far without a scan. When is it?

Hope I haven't missed anyone!

Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could join your thread please and maybe get some advice. In the last 3 years weve lost two babies ( do have a 5 year old daughter). It's believed due to thyroid issues which are now under control. After two years of trying I got a positive test 4 days ago. I am really struggling to relax and stop thinking the worst. It's bonkers but I'm checking to make sure my boobs are still hurting every 10 mins, as last miscarriage losing symptoms was the first sign. I have a doctor appointment this afternoon to start getting my thyroid testing done. Does this worrying get better? Any advice? And congratulations to all of you on here.